Getting pregnant can be a chore and an emotional roller-coaster. Here is one woman's journey.
If you are a woman who has spent your life imagining what it would be like to have a child, then you know how exciting it is when you finally decide that you are ready to make that leap. You are finally prepared to put yourself second. You are willing to make a child the number one priority in life. You are ready to get pregnant.…
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226 - Lisa
Wow, at all the comments and people going through the same thing...my husband and I are going through a fertility issue right now. We have been trying for almost 2 years. We have one son, and he will be 3 in November. Like the first person who posted, it was always my dream to be a mommy one day...not just be a mommy, but have 3 or 4 children. When we got married, I thought we would have 3 children, two years apart.. I just have to laugh about it now, because God certainly has other plans for us. I say laugh, at times, but for the most part I just want to cry. It hurts so much when you can't get pregnant. You see everyone else getting pregnant so easy and they don't think anything about getting pregnant and having another baby. I feel humiliated because my body is not working right. And I know something is wrong, because I am having pain in my ovaries. I had surgery a year ago, and my dr. found very mild endometriosis on the outside, but my uterus and tubes were fine, so I don't believe that's it. I started seeing a different dr, who told me the second half of my cycle is too short, so he put me on clomid, 50mg, 75mg, and then in May 100mg...we got pregnant with twins! Then 2 wks after my first ultrasound when I was at 7.5 wks, there was one baby and a heartbeat...then 2.5 wks later, I miscarried. So now it's been 3 months, and my periods started back on time and everything, my temperature chart looks perfect like I am ovulating, and this last month we tried exactly on the day I ovulated...and I started my period a few days ago. It is so upsetting, month after month of the same thing...people do not understand unless you've been there..they have NO idea. I never would have thought I would have a fertility problem after having one child. We were married for 2.5 years when we started trying for our first child. I got pregnant very easily-second try-and miscarried at 6 wks. Then I was pregnant again 4 months later and we had our son. When he turned one, we wanted to start trying again. But here we are, and still, no baby. I am thankful we have had our one child, I know that is alot more than alot of people ever have. I just never knew it would be so heartbreaking when you can't get pregnant the second time around. If we are ever able to become pregnant and have another baby, I will NEVER take it for granted, I will always be careful about what I say and how I act around others in public and wherever, because there are people out there who are heartbroken and it doesn't help when you hear people talking about their pregnancies and showing their excitement...I'm not saying we shouldn't be happy, but I will just be considerate of others because you never know when that person next to you is having trouble getting pregnant. Infertility is so hard to live with. I mean, some people just have all the kids they want and never have to think about it. And here we are trying and trying and hoping and wanting a baby...year after year, so that is on our minds all the time. I don't want it to be like this for the rest of my childbearing years...I just have to ask God to please help me get over this feeling of wanting another one if it is not meant to be. But I haven't started feeling like we're complete yet. I really still hope for our son to have a sibling one day. I know it is all going to be okay, somehow. But it is so hard. I will never look at mothers with babies the same ever again.
227 - Natalie V
Hi my Name is Natalie im 23 yrs old and ive been with my Husband for 7 yrs this oct. I got with him when i was 16 and we have had unprotected sex but i never got pregos and i was ok with it since i was to young anyways.But we got married this May and i decided i wanted to have children.
We have been trying for 4 months but ive always had abnormal periods once i bleed for 3 months, ive been to the doctors and its the same thing every time hermonal inbalance. Im affaid i will never get prgos and like you said everyone around you seems to just get pregnant it makes me so sad, angery,depressed.
And I dont seem to talk to noone about it, but my husband. i kinda feel ashamed. But i read what you had to say about letting your feeling out and your so right.As i write these words to you i feel how some what connected even if i never met you. Me and my husband are going to keep trying and hopefully God will bless us. I will keep you in my prayers also and i wish you much luck.
thanks for taking the time to listen to my story.
-Natalie
228 - kendra
WELL WHAT THE HELL CAN I SAY I AM ALMOST 30 AND CANNOT SEEM TO GET PREGNANT EITHER KNOWING THIS I JUST FOUND OUT MY SPOUSE JUST TELLS ME NOW AS A HEATED CONVERSTAION ARISES FROM WATCHING THE KARDASHIANS THAT HE ONCE HAD A GIRL PREGNANT BUT SHE HAD AN ABORTION I FLIPPED THE F OUT LET ME TELL YOU I AM EVEN SLEEPING ON THE COUCH I CAN EVEN BEGIN TO TELL OR EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL I FEEL HURT INSIDE MY SPOUSE ALREADY HAS KIDS AND THIS HAPPENED BEFORE THEM AND I AM JUST LEARNING ABOUT IT NOW CAN YOU SAY SHOCKED AND EXTREMELY DISSAPOINTED AT EVERY ASPECT OF THIS WHOLE SITIUATION I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN TO FEEL SAY OR DO OR REACT TO THIS CUNUNDRUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 COMPLETLY CONFUSED!!!111
229 - angie
hello everyone who is facing this fusturation I had the same problem I was married for 6 yrs. before I concieved all you have to do is have faith. I went thru the same routine taking clomid going to the doctor for blood work to check my hormone level. but thank god I finally got pregnant. I had already given up on the treatment and quit going to the doctor but I started to feel sick so I went to the doctor and I found out I was 4 months pregnant I now have two children who are my pride n joy. All you have to do is have faith and patience GOOD LUCK to all of you and GOD BLESS I will keep yall in my prayers.
230 - Jen
Kate, it is good to know that I am not alone. I too feel like my purpose is to be a mother. It's a longing I've always had, and after trying for over a year to get pregnant I am dealing with those same feelings of worthlessness, depression, and shame. I typically find that men do not understand, this is a female longing. My husband loves me and sympathizes, but just can't understand my feelings. Thank you for posting your story despite the few critical comments you received, because it will help people like me who needed to know they were not alone! God bless!
231 - Tiffany
I feel your pain but if you were meant to have kids you would. Don't blame yourself.
232 - tu
my period unnormal its hard for me to get pregnant
233 - tu
my period every other month sometime every other 3 month so my period is not every month, every other month or 3 month so its hard me to get pregnant so you can tell me whats going on
234 - tu
oh hello can you talk to me i am very lonely please help me trying to canceive
235 - Liz
Hello Tu,
Myself (& I'm sure many other readers!) are sad for what you're going through at the moment. Hopefully we can provide some comfort for each other. Irregular periods may be due to lifestyle (diet, low body weight, stress), or hormonal imbalances such as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Have you seen a doctor? They can refer you for a pelvic scan & check your ovaries are ok. Find a nice female doctor & they can help provide advice to you. They will probably do a series of blood tests. My friend had PCOS & was pregnant after 6 or 8 months of hormone treatment.
I'm also TTC (1.5yrs), married for almost 4yrs. Am 26y.o, husband 32. Even though we're still young it doesn't stop the pain. They haven't found any problems with us yet so we're still going through some tests.
Liz
236 - YADIRA
AS EVERYONE HERE I HAVE MY OWN ISSUES OF GETTING PREGOS. BUT HERES MY STORY. IM 26 YEARS OLD IVE BEEN TOGETHER WITH MY HUSBAND SINCE I WAS 15 N HE WAS 16 N WERE ONLY A YEAR APART.
WE ALWAYS KNEW WE WERE GOING TO STAY TOGETHER N WE TRIED FOR SO LONG UNTIL ONE DAY I JUST MADE THE FIRST MOVE TO GO C A DR.
N SO I DID RIGHT BUT LET ME TELL U MY HEALTH HISTORY. IM OVER WEIGHT N I DON'T GET MY PERIODS FOR MONTHS SOMETIMES A WHOLE YEAR BUT BEFORE I REALLY DIDN'T CARE UNTIL I FELT THE NEED TO BE A MOM. I STARTED GETTING PROVER WHICH HELP ME GET MY MONTHLY PERIODS. I STARTED IT N 3 MONTHS LATER ON CHRISTMAS DAY I GOT PREGOS. OFCOURSE BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW I WAS PREGNANT N I HAD NO FAITH N GETTING PREGNANT SO FAST JANUARY CAME ALONG UP UNTIL FEBRUARY I STARTED FEELING WEIRD N I FOUND THE EXCUSE TO GO SEE MY DR. AGAIN N HAD HER DO A PAPSMEAR. SHE SAID WE SHOULD DO A PREGNANCY TEST N I CRIED BECAUSE IT GOT TO A POINT I JUST FELT FOR WHT IF I ALREADY KNW THE ANSWER WELL I DID THE TEST N LEFT HOME. I GOT THE CALL 2 DAYS LATER SHE HAD CALLED N I MISSED THE PHONE CALL THINKING MAYB SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH MY TESTING OR SOMETHING. SO IT WAS AROUND 10 PM N I WAS GETTING READY TO GO TO WORK SINCE I WORK GRAVE YARD AT A NURSING HOME. N I GOT THIS CALL FROM THE NIGHT NURSE TELLING ME MY DR. WAS TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF ME. AND THT MADE ME MORE NERVOUS RIGHT N THEN SHE SAYS UR PREGANT YOUR 5 WKS APRROX. I REMEMBER SAYING THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH . N SHE SAID CONGRATULATIONS. I STARTED CRYING I TOLD MY HUSBAND N MY MOM N I WAS VERY HAPPY WELL I WAS 21 WHN I HAD HER.
IT TOOK ME A WHOLE 5 YEARS TO GET PREGNANT. I GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY GIRL WHICH IS NOW 5 YRS OLD. SO I SAID I WANT TO ENJOY MY DAUGHTER HER FIRST YEAR N THEN TRY AGAIN N I DID THE PATCHES FOR BIRTH CONTROL STOPPED THT N DECIDED I WAS READY N UP UNTIL NOW I CANT GET PREGNANT ONCE MORE N ITS BEEN A WHOLE 5 YEARS. I HAVENT HAD MY PERIOD FOR 8 MONTHS. SO I BELIEVE IM BACK TO MY NORMAL STATE BUT I WENT BACK TO MY DR. N SHE TOLD ME I HAD TO LOSE ATLEAST 20 POUNDS. I LOST THT N JUST GOT SO DEPRESSED BECAUSE I FELT I TRIED N STILL SOME HOW IM FAILING, BUT THE ULTIMATE HURTFULL THING IS NOT JUST THE FACT THT I CAN'T GET PREGNANT ITS THT MY DAUGHTER LITERALLY CRIES N OUT OF NOWHERE TELLS ME SHE WANTSA BABY BROTHER OR SISTER AND THAT BREAKS MY HEART TO A MILLION PIECES.
SO DEPRESSED, SO DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF THAT I CAN GIVE MY DAUGHTER WHT SHE WANTS MATERIALY SPEAKING BUT WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS FOR HERSELF IS TO GROW UP WITH SOMEONE TO PLAY WITH. N THAT JUST BREAKS ME APART. I FEEL LIKE IM FAILING.
SO I HAVE MY PILLS TO START MY PERIODS. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO START FOR THE LONGEST TIME BUT IM JUST TO SCARED TO FAIL AND GO BACK TO MY SAME ROUTINE IN SEEING THT I DNT GET PREGNANT. IT'S DEPRESSING FOR ME.
237 - BamaGirl
I know it has been some time since this article was written, but I typed in Depressed can't get pregnant and it was the first site to pop up. I feel so sad to see all of these comments from women who are in the same boat.
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now, although I am only 20 and he is 25. It is so devastating each and every single month that we fail. It has been that way ever since the third month with no luck, that was the first month that I actually fell down and cried when I found that I had gotten my period.
All I have ever wanted to be was a mom. I would play that I was pregnant as a little girl by stuffing a pillow under my shirt and then I'd pull it out after a while and get a doll to pretend it was my newborn baby. I've always dreamed of what it would be like to have a life inside of me, and feel my baby kick, or see my baby on an ultrasound for the first time.
It seems that everyone I know at my age is getting pregnant accidentally. From one time that the condom broke or that they forgot to take their birth control. And here I am tracking my bbt, cm, cp, and charting every single month to no avail. My husband went through chemo and radiation for testicular cancer and he feels guilty and ashamed that it may be him, but I of course do not blame him and also have the same feelings about myself. We love each other and only want to have children with one another. I want to show him the joys of fatherhood. I have friends who have children who they don't take very good care of, and don't appreciate the miracle that they have been given to be able to have a human life grow inside of them. One of my friends got pregnant at just 16 and TRIED for her daughter and now she and her daughter are on wellfare and the father is in and out of the picture. Neither of them even finished High School.
My husband and I could offer a child such a great life. All we pray for is one, just one miracle. I would love to adopt as well, but I always wanted to have a little part of myself and my husband to hold in my arms. My husband does not like the idea of adoption though.
We are young and take great care of ourselves, healthy and it should be easy for us. His mother has five kids. My mom got pregnant with me on an accident 3 months after she married my dad and got pregnant on the first try with my brother. It's just not fair. I feel that if I can't get pregnant, my dreams in life can never be fulfilled seeing as all I've ever dreamed about was being a mother. Why me? Why us? It's just not fair.
238 - Yolandak
Dear All
I have been married for 10 years and when we got married, we both agreed not to have children for now until we have reached our career goals and financially stable, we also wanted to travel and we knew with children won't be easy. I also wanted to be prepared emotionally to have a baby as the thought of a small baby scared the hell out of me.
It was only last year when we went back and visited the idea of having children and we agreed and started witht t process. We both thought it will be just easy and quick and within months I will be pregnant but it did happen, none in my family or my husband's family have had problems having children.
I slowly started getting frustrated, angry and stressed about it, which will now contribute to the problem.
Unfortunately my husband was not prepared to discuss it or even explore medical options, instead he chose to cheat on me with my own sister and she became pregnant with his baby, the baby is now 2 weeks old and I just find out last week, its my husband's baby.
I now blame myself that maybe we should have waited for so long, maybe there is something wrong or I did wrong not to conceive.
I'm currently so frustrated and depressed.
239 - YADIRA
dear yolandak,IM NOT IN UR POSITION BUT ONE THING YOU SHOULDNT DO IS BLAME YOURSELF FOR UR HUSBANDS AND SISTERS ACTION YOU MUST B UPSET WITH THEM, BECAUSE THEY HAVE BETRAYED YOUR TRUST. EITHER WAY YOU DON'T DISERVE A PERSON LIKE THAT IN YOUR LIFE. OUT OF EVERYONE IN THE WORLD THATS THE LAST PERSON YOU WOULD WANT TO B CHEATED ON. ALSO GOD MAKES OBSTACLES IN LIFE FOR A REASON BUT NEVER EVER BLAME YOURSELF FOR YOUR HUSBANDS WRONG DOING. HE DOESNT DISERVE YOU OR YOUR CHILD THAT YOU WILL ONE DAY HAVE. HAVE FAITH TRUST AND PATIENTS AND EVERYTHING WILL FALL IN PLACE. B STRONG. AND STAY POSITIVE. LOTZ OF LUV UR WAY,
YADY
240 - MEMORY
AM 29 YEARS OLD AND HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET PREGNAMT. PLEASE HELP
241 - babieh
DEAR...Kate
babieh
am 26year today and married 6year also but i still can not have the child.. i am find alot of Dr but i still can not maybe coz i have a chocolate cyste than can make me miscarried the baby 2time already.. i am so weak now bc the DR order me can not do anything , I so scare i need someone to help and give me some advice to concieve the... ,
242 - Cherie
here i am at 4o yrs old wondering if it wud ever happen...waited for most of my life for that christian husband, he never came now i find myself on d other side of the fence involved with someone who is married an wants a son...i too wud like a son/daughter it hurts my head..we have not been doing anything to stop it a year has passed nothing......i am scared, (1) he is married (2) my clock is ticking...don't know what to do..
243 - Mandy
Wow everything you wrote almost sounds like me! My husband and I have tried to have a baby for a couple years now we've only been married since oct of 09 tho we were trying b4 we got married and after all the hard trying still no baby then one day get papers in the mail saying he may have a almost 5 year old child out there now thats hard wanting so bad a baby and then poof ur husband gets one and u dont b/c before my time he was having fun.well she is his and b4 i meet her for a moment i was bitter and told him to sign over rights if it was his b/c he didnt know this child and wanting to make me happy b/c he knew how hard it was for me he said he would. But then i started thinking wow u dummy even tho she wasnt made in ur belly doesnt mean she isnt meant for u. needless to say we love her to death ! Still doesnt feel the hole in my heart and its still very hard to see ppl younger, unmarried, imature ppl having babys. My family and friends try to lift me up, but they just dont understand what it feels like to want,and try to have a baby and nothing happens and with no explnation why. At least if the drs could find something wrong with me maybe it wouldnt be as bad! I pray for everyone in the same situation boy is it, emotional and depressing!
244 - Suicidal
At 22 I got pregnant and had an abortion (vacum). At 25 I got pregnant and had another abortion (scraping). NOW 26 and desperate to have a baby, cannot get pregnant. Im so scared to go to the doctor. I have been using Ovulation kits and taking prenatal vitamins. I feel very guilty for having the abortion, especialy the second one. I am ready to kill myself if this caused my infertility :( I have read mixed reviews on this topic, most of them say that abortion wont cause infertility. Does anyone have any experience with something like this? Also my periods have always been regular and very short only last for 3-4 days and my cycle is 24-25 days ..Thanks in advance for all your help,,,,,
245 - LaMoya
Well, I'm 27 years old and my husband and I have 1 2 yr old daughter...but it took us a year and a half to get pregnant with her! Here were are again ready for another baby...unprotected sex since July 2008 and still no pregnancy. I am a Christian and I do believe that in God's own time, he makes things happen. I've been through taking the pregnancy tests so sure they were positive and having them come back negative. I understand how that feels. I feel encouraged by reading all the stories posted here. I know that if God could give "Sarah" and Abraham children as elderly people, He can do the same for all of us! Stay encouraged ladies and that "all things work for the good of those who love the Lord and keep His commandments"! Please understand that words I've spoken here are also encouraging me. Hope this helps someone!
246 - MrsLL22
Hello all,
Thanks to Kate for posting this, as many have said before its nice to know I'm not alone when everyone around us seems to get pregnant on accident. A moment ago I just googled out of frustration "WHY AM I NOT GETTING PREGNANT!?!" after yet another negative test this morning (we've been trying since April 2007, are 28 and 30, fit, healthy non-smokers, etc) ...and came across this blog. I just wanted to share one little piece of advice that I haven't seen on here yet that I'm hoping will work for me. SEE A CHIROPRACTOR. My chiropractor claims that he has helped women who have been unable to get prenant- from those that have been through IVF to those who just seem to have trouble for an unknown reason. He told me that some of our female hormones are produced in the brain and not in the sex organs and have to travel down the nervous system- apparently if you are out of alignment this can be very difficult. He's very confident and says he hasn't failed yet. I'll let you all know how goes. Good luck and thanks for being there!
247 - Annie
Hi my husband and I have been married for 4 1/2 years and we've been off BC for 3 of them. We have not been able to conceive. I am at the point that I look at a pregnant woman and tear up... We are getting the tests done soon. I'm gonna make my husband do the tests 1st so I dont have to go through them if its him, but if its not we will check me. I hate the fact that everyone in my family is fertile, having twins even but this happens to us. Maybe God knows something that I don't. I just pray that if I can have kids that He gives them to us when He knows we're ready. Even if we think we're ready we may not be. I Keep gaining weight though, which kinda stinks, I think its from stress and cant do much about my stress I have no job, kids or anything to worry about except my dad... and he's very ill the only way I can get rid of that stress is if he passes and I dont want that either! hmmm...what to do... maybe just wait.