On May 25, 2007 I published one of my first articles at Blogcritics. It was a very personal piece called "Can’t Get Pregnant? You are Not Alone", detailing my nearly three-year struggle to get pregnant. It was one of the very first things I wrote for BC and I could not, for the life of me, figure out why I felt so compelled to write about something that I had not even really talked about with friends.
After dumping my frustrations very unceremoniously onto paper (okay, it was my computer, but that just does not sound as poetic, does it?), I read back through and realized it had been quite cathartic for me. It seemed awful to say that when I had taken my 30th negative pregnancy test it seemed very hard to be excited for a friend who was having a baby shower; but it was true, and I knew I could not be the only one feeling that way.
Very nervously I posted my article (one of the few I published that I did not share with my family or friends) and was surprised when comments started being posted right away. I was very surprised, in those first few days, at how polarizing an issue it turned out to be. I was even a little hurt when a few readers called me selfish for being so single-mindedly set on wanting a child in today’s world.
Moreover, though, I was shocked by how many responses the article received from women just like me. I suppose I should not have been, as the article was meant to tell other women who were having trouble conceiving that they were not the only ones out there.
Now, over 19 months and 129 comments later, I would like to take the opportunity to provide an update to my story.
At the time the article was written I had just been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. PCOS is a hormonal disorder that affects between five and seven percent of women, is one of the leading causes of infertility, and is characterized by abnormal ovulation. Shortly after being diagnosed I went through several rounds of an ovulation stimulation drug called Clomid, which is a very common treatment for infertility. After six unsuccessful rounds, my doctor referred me to a fertility specialist at the University of North Carolina Hospital at Chapel Hill.
I sat with this doctor for a very long time, becoming more and more discouraged as he reminded me that I was young and had plenty of time to get pregnant before age was a factor (I was 27 at the time). While I knew this was true, I had been ready for a child for well over two years and even one more round seemed like too long to wait.