It's easy, I'm cheap. Want to stop me sniping from the land of peace, order and good government?
Buy me stuff. It works for your international "diplomacy". You need "friends", just buy them!
Buy me the stuff on the list, even the commie scifi stuph, and I'll be your friend.
I'll stop saying how Al has his underpants screwed on too tight. I'll stop quoting from dead English socialists. I'll even stop making fun of your poor choices in music.
All you have to do to bring about international peace, is just simply, buy me stuff.
All I'm sayin' is that iPod looks real nice, and I'd be so busy listening to music, I wouldn't have time to make snarky comments. So what's that worth to y'all?