Breaking news! Cute white baby farts in Pittsburgh. Distraught parents expected bubble to emerge as esophageal burp but unforeseen pressures forced air down to lower alimentary track where it emerged as flatulence. Stunned parents currently undergoing counselling. Prospect is grim. More gas expected. According to confidential sources, story will be continuously updated on both CNN and Fox News. Tune in for further stunning developments.
"A sinister cabal of superior writers."
Article comments
1 - Al Barger
Holy crap! I hope they've got Greta Van Susteren on the scene so we can keep up with this.
2 - Eric Olsen
clearly this administration must be blamed for the nation's state of denial regarding CWBF
3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
any news on the texture of the gas?
4 - Al Barger
Bush lied, babies cried!
When will Congress do their duty and investigate? Is impeachment finally coming?
5 - gonzo marx
UPDATE!!!
baby dropped in blender. set to frappe.
new slurpee flavor discoverd. convenience store chains vie for new taste sensation.
tentative name.."Dahmer Float"
film at 11
Excelsior!
6 - Aaman
In other news, dog wags tail. White House leaks info that tail wagged the dog, but not KNOWINGLY
7 - Matthew T. Sussman
This just in: Natalee Holloway seen babysitting JonBenet Ramsey.
...Too soon?
8 - D L Ennis
I Like Beans
I like beans but they don't like me
They always make everything so shity
Always blowing stinking gas out of my ass
But I like beans
I love beans but they don't love me
Every time I fart it sends me up in a tree
I guess I'll have to change my trajectory
Cause I love beans
9 - Eric Olsen
Here I sit brokenhearted,
changed the diaper when the baby farted
10 - Temple Stark
Here I sit mentally defeated
Wonders why post hasn't been deleted.
Don't make it a habit folks. It takes a PhD
11 - Bryan McKay
Temple: I'm curious as to why this post gets attacked while this one is just treated as a funny diversion. I have to agree with you on this one. Not to mention the apparently double standard we're setting...
Although I guess you said it a lot more cleverly than I did.
12 - Victor Plenty
While both posts are brief attempts at humor, for this one the author put in enough effort to actually bring the funny, where the other relied upon the reader to supply the funny.
13 - Bryan McKay
I agree with you, and I think this would be a great post to a personal blog, but I'm just questioning its place on the front page of this site.
14 - Lono
They are stealing our White Women! Why oh why must the media keep sweeping these stories under the rug? and who will protect our White Women?
15 - Tan The Man
I'm lost...
16 - Victor Plenty
At least you know it, Tan. Most of us wander about under the blissful delusion that we know what's going on and what everything means.
17 - Omni Temporal
Speak for yourself, Victor. I do know what's going on and what everything means. Uh ... except this post.
18 - carmine
Cable news, in their endless quest to sell commercials tends to sound like twisted soap opera. What once was would have been tragic local news now rivits the nation. But there is one small proviso: the victim must be attractive and white, and either a child or a woman to become the focus of cable news hysteria. Yet if the child is black or poor or the woman is black or poor, or it is a run of the mill man, well then death, dismemberment, murder will never make the news. But if it is a woman with large breasts and an eye problem who flees marriage, well this is breaking news! Michael Jackson of course is an exception because he now is a white child-like woman, so it still sells. So, I was simply experimenting with how low they will go. It made sense to see if my neighbor's infant's flatulence might merit a few days on CNN. I guess not. But the baby IS white and very, very cute.
19 - Bryan McKay
James, your comment sounds like the makings of an interesting post, if you managed to elaborate and expound upon your ideas a little bit. I like where you're going with that. I feel as if you could have started a far more interesting discussion than the one that's gone on here, however. Perhaps you can figure out a way to expand on what you have to say in that comment and turn it into a post within the next few days. I think that could start some rather interesting comment threads.
20 - bhw
Earlie today, I thought this post had just barely enough to stay up. Maybe I was wrong....