If you're in a bad marriage and are really unhappy, should you separate, get a divorce, or stay in the marriage?
This is not a cut-and-dried decision as there are many factors to consider. We're about to step outside the box and ask you to question beliefs you may have never thought to question before. Have an open mind as you read the rest of this article.
Background: Is this a bad relationship?
Imagine the following scenario:
I was married for twelve years to a man (S) that deserted me twice. He also had numerous extra-marital infidelities. He took his stuff and left this last time about a year and a half ago. I tried and tried to talk to him, but he refused to talk to me or answer my phone calls. I was just heartbroken. He was my second husband. My first husband wasn't unfaithful, but he had an explosive temper and shouted and screamed at me. Even though he never actually hit me, I was afraid of him.
Anyway, seven months after my second husband left me I decided to try and move on with my life. I met a wonderful man (D). He was everything I had wanted - caring, responsible, trustful, and very loving. We started slowly, but after awhile I fell deeply in love with him and he fell in love with me.
I hired an attorney. I filed for divorce. After I had been with D for around four months he proposed to me. I was very excited and accepted. I knew our relationship was perfect and we had a wonderful life ahead of us. We were doing everything together and I was so happy.
S somehow found out and started to phone me. He told me he wanted us to get back together. He told me he would never do any of the things he had done to me before. He said he had found God and was going to church now. He said he was a changed man. He said I was still his wife and I owed him another chance to prove he had changed. He told me he was a broken man and was thinking about suicide. I finally allowed him to see me. He cried and cried and pleaded with me, telling me he had changed. I felt so guilty.