Poor, poor Kellea. I feel sorry for her. Not for the fact that she was handed some mostly mild assaults for her hasty judgment of Blogcritics, but for her arriving so late into this world of nastiness to not know that the Internet is an ugly place.
I am pretty familiar with being the flinger and the flingee when it comes to hateful speech all in the name of blogging. It seems when we log on to the Internet and set to writing our thoughts, a certain bit of our humanity is lost in transition from brainwaves to pixels.
I have hurt people with my words and been hurt by the words of others. The grand conclusion I have learned is that this - and "this" being the Internet - CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT be taken to heart.
From my own experiences I have used words to hurt, misinform, abuse and otherwise cut to the bone my intended target. Conversely, I have had some of the meanest things a human can say to or about another human said about me. There is ugliness all around. The bottom line - IT'S WRONG. I was wrong, they were wrong. But it is the price we pay for the freedom to express ourselves without mitigation and on a whim.
Most people do not engage in this sort of verbal assault. They show basic decency - and there are those, like myself who don't have as much control over their emotions as others and blurt out things in anger and then feel remorse and wish to mend fences. Then there are others who are basically cruel monsters wishing to destroy the spirit of another.
I don't believe in general ANYONE in this blog community does that, nor do I think Kellea received the full-on attack that some of us other bloggers have witnessed or experienced. I can most certainly assure her that Eric did not wish to reduce her to tears, he's a relatively mild fellow.
Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
I have now thought remarkably many of these same things, and I invited her to join. Then she can tell us we are pricks from within. Nice job, Dawn.
2 - Taloran
After my first couple of gaffes here at BlogCritics, I learned to hold off on hitting the submit button until I had reread my comment several times. Kellea took a blow from a pretty big stick, but I have witnessed much harder blows from several of the regulars here. The targets of these attacks appear to come through relatively unscathed, and perhaps Kellea will as well. That was not, however, a very good way to introduce herself to the BC community, a fact of which I'm certain she is now well aware.
Maybe she'll peek her head around the corner again some time.
3 - Mac Diva
I'm going to write a 'Things new bloggers should know' column that will make suggestions Kellea and others can use next week for Blogospherics at Mac-a-ro-nies. (Remind me if it hasn't appeared by Thursday.) One of the things I'll suggest is reading several pages of a blog or more before reaching any kind of conclusion about it. I also am going to explain why parrot blogs (are you listening, Robbie Port?) are a bad idea. I was lucky in a way as a beginning blogger because I had been around as a commenter and contributor for months before starting my blogs. I had seen nasty, unwarranted attacks on bloggers before so wasn't that surprised when a woman with a psychiatric ailment began throwing stones at me and recruited other nitwits to help her.
4 - Taloran
MD's "Things new bloggers should know" should be interesting, to say the least. I look forward to it.
5 - Jim Carruthers
I remember on UseNet when there were discussions of netloons, and it turned out an internationally known netloon turned out to be my next door neighbour. Not only was he obnoxious on the net, he was an asshole in person, too. Thanks to neighbours, agricultural implements and lime, the area is better.
So, yes, I am like this in person too, sometimes.
6 - Mark Saleski
yea...what was that word we used when we stuck somebody in our permanent kill file?
PLONK
ah...those were the days.
7 - TDavid
Gary Ridgway, now there was a "cruel monster wishing to destroy the spirit of another"
Chilled me to the bone watching that TV coverage of him calmly pleading guilty to 48 counts of aggravated murder earlier today in court.
8 - Tom Johnson
One of the things I'll suggest is reading several pages of a blog or more before reaching any kind of conclusion about it.
This is good advice I remember from the newsgroup days. Just like at a new job, you should really resist jumping right into conflicts and hot topics until you've gotten more familiar with how the people react to each other and the place itself works. Verbal sparring is just a fact of life at Blogcritics. It keeps things interesting, at least.
9 - TDavid
I think this should be required reading for Blogcritics newbies.
Of course I could just be a bit biased.
10 - Al Barger
For my part, I try to play nice, even on the internet. Hell, in this bloodthirsty Blogcritics crowd, I'm practically Mahatma Frickin' Gandhi or MLK.
You should all try to be more like me. :)
11 - visualsimplicity
I was quite curious to read TD's linked article about Gary Ridgway, but is it me or does it take you to a news article about the US buying more digital downloads than CD singles?
Anyway, after reading through this as well as a few linked sites, I must say that BG folks were being a tad harsh on her. However, she was rather quite naive (especially someone claiming to be 30-something) and immature in her original post and response (apparently her reply seems to be gone now from her site but the original post still remains). I don't think either party reacted very well, but that's not to say it's really anyone's fault. Regardless, in the words of the Black Eye Peas, "Where is the love?"
12 - Dawn
Al, every single day I ask myself "What would Al do?" and to be honest, the answers are alway mystifying.
Note to self: Be more like Al DAMMIT!!!
13 - Eric Olsen
I very much look forward to reading MD's advice to new bloggers, central to which might something along the lines of not urinating on a hornet's nest. I believe the lesson has been learned in this particular case.
14 - Craig Lyndall
I also recommended to her in a private email that she should join BlogCritics. I never got a response from that. I kind of have the feeling that she is too far gone to even accept an apology for how far we took this one. Just the same, I hope she comes over to BlogCritics and does some damage.
15 - TDavid
visualsimplicity - yikes, you are right! I cut and pasted the wrong link LOL, doh! My mistake, sorry about that. The correct link should have been the one that was linked from my blog entry and is here.
Now imagine the Blogcritics response if the blogger in question had simply stopped by with her first post and said: "Doh! I made a mistake." -- and then perhaps updated her weblog entry to show that indeed she did make a mistake and never mentioned anything about Halloween. Don't you think the response that followed would have been dramatically different? I certainly never would have made my weblog entry about the situation.
Unfortunately since she was a designer, this would have made her look very bad in a professional light for not noticing what should have been obvious, so she decided to change history to benefit her position and to claim abuse from folks here, and cover things up by saying green wasn't a Halloween color in her comments and removing comments (and apparently her own posts too) and making that ridiculous threatening phone call to me.
It wasn't her blog entry that made the situation noteworthy, not for me anyway, it was the actions she took after the reaction to her blog entry that was her problem.
Therefore I'd say the reaction fit the action on BC (you meant BC, not "BG" right? That would be a mistake too) part.
We all make mistakes which I just did in this thread and I believe you did too with your abbreviation. The best way to deal with them is to own up and admit to them, not using subterfuge.
16 - Bill Wallo
I'm sure that an "advice to new bloggers" column would be a good idea. I've probably violated all sorts of basic rules. :)
I also think that while yes, new bloggers need to know certain things, there is probably a level of tolerance that more experienced folks should try to demonstrate. Not picking on anybody here, since I wasn't actually paying any attention to the dustup. But over the years I've been online, I've seen a lot of folks get bent out of shape when they probably could have taken a deep breath, counted to ten, and stopped.
I can't count the number of hostile messages I've penned over the years that I didn't end up sending after I read them a couple of times. Which is not to say that I've never sent a hostile message, because that likewise wouldn't be true - I remember a gaming-related email war I got into back when I ran a "Quake clan" which escalated into email bombs, attacks on our server, and the like. And I've been involved in a number of message board flame wars over countless absurd topics (I think the last one was over Winona Ryder, and do I really care about Winona Ryder?).
Anyway, just my two cents: maybe new folks need to understand some of the "ways of the world," but maybe some of us veterans of foreign wars could likewise temper our responses?
17 - Elizabeth
TDavid don't you think it's time to just move on and find something better to talk about? Did you think for once that maybe she turned off the comments because other folks were leaving comments that might not have been appropriate? I am a woman and if people were leaving inappropriate remarks in my blog I would probably do the same thing. Not to cover up what is going on but to preserve the environment on my site that regular visitors have come to expect? Just because you write one thing, doesn't mean someone else didn't write something else. Do you know what was written? Do you have a first hand account of what she really deleted? Have you actually talked to her and asked her why she deleted the post? Have you even asked her why she did what she did? Just as she was hasty to judge Blog Critics, you all were hasty to judge her. From what I read she was commenting on link colors, not a Halloween theme but that's the past and I'm not opening up that thread again.
The Blog Critics site is not limited to only blog critics, there are a lot of freaks out there on the Internet that troll sites looking for people to harrass. I saw what was written and I see what you wrote. I consider myself to be a level headed person, therefore I just read it and moved on. This is the Internet. It is wide and vast and has a million things on it for you to see and do, so maybe you all should find something better to do? Just a suggestion.
You know how when there is an accident and traffic all slows down on the highway to look? Yet the polic officer tells you to "move along" so you do and then you sort of forget about it and go on with your day?
18 - visualsimplicity
Eesh, I did mean BC. Sad thing is, I proof read my comment before posting too, but everytime I read it over, I think I automatically replaced G with C in my mind (I'm not dyslexic though). The human cognition works in mysterious ways.
19 - Eric Olsen
"BLOGGRITICS" - I like it