Dear Elsa,
I seem to fall into the same patterns in relationships. If I'm not getting the physical, verbal, and emotional signals I need, I automatically assume something is wrong. It builds and builds until I force the issue.
My view tends to become black and white. When something occurs that is beyond my control or knowing, I want instant resolution. I worry constantly about things I simply cannot change, and tend to project these fears into my relationships.
What is going on here? I don't want to worry, to demand confirmation constantly (whether it is good or bad). Sometimes it feels beyond my control. I just want to shut off my mind and let my life follow.
Tortured
Dear Tortured.
Yow! You’re obsessing. And this tendency shows up very clearly in your chart with your Mercury (mind) square Pluto (obsession).
So here’s the bottom line: your tendency to obsess is hard-wired. Waiting for this to stop (or end or shut off) will be fruitless. You will obsess, but what you obsess over is within your control.
At the moment, you tend to focus on your relationships to the detriment of all involved. And why do that, when there is a whole world out there?
The square involves your 9th house (international… all things big and positive, education) and the 6th house (service). So how about you take your mind off all this crap and apply the energy to something positive and high-minded? Go study something really damned hard, for example. Or think late into the night about how you can serve in this world on a large scale. Read a book (Mercury) about the Black Death. Think about that all night!
The point is, the energy is there. What you do with it is up to you. Good luck.
Article comments
1 - Gidon, design student.
Dear sir/madam,
Obsession is something we cannot fight, and shouldn't try to, whilst it brings us comfort and relief. Instead we should help us practice our obsession, whatever it may be…
My question is; Is there anything that would help us de-stigmatise our obsessions so that we don't feel like outcasts?
I am interested in the spaces,where you find it the hardest to practise your obsession.
What do you do as an alternative when you feel restricted?
2 - elsa
Personally, I think you are the only one who can stop judging you. I think about anything I want for as long as I want and… that’s it. Nothing else factors.
3 - tortured 2
I have Mercury square Pluto in the 3rd and 6th houses, so I can identify with what "Tortured" is saying (however long ago heh).
From my experience, the obsessive behaviors can be destructive to health because of the 6th house. Sometimes my mental energy runs so high that I become fixated on a topic and don't eat or sleep when I should. I pay for it with headaches and a long recuperating period. So I'd say that figuring out a way to moderate or pace yourself is very important. It's hard... I still don't know how. Sometimes my fruitless obsessions are diverted to "constructive" aims but even those have ill effects. It's not about what your obsessions are, it's about keeping harmful behavior in check.
4 - Poppy
I have Pluto square Mercury too. My Pluto is placed in the second house in Scorpio, while my Mercury is in my eleventh house ruled by Leo.
Can someone please tell me how this manifests??
5 - Christopher Rose
Apparently it manifests as an over-reliance on superstition...
6 - Sklyar Mimosa
I have merc. in Cancer 12th square Pluto exact ON the I.C (straddling the 3rd/4th houses). I relate intensely to this obsession thing... it is a form of mental imbalance aka chemical imbalance or mental illness. I've been diagnosed with various things, ADD and a personality disorder, etc. I know that the identity/soul/self SUN and Mind/Mercury is in the 12th house of no boundaries and squaring Pluto the planet of extremes.... makes obsession inevitable. Pluto force is at the core of my deepest hidden self... but the power issue is huge for me on a spiritual level. Sometimes, fascination turns to obsession.... and when not interfering with my daily life/routine.... it feels like an extraordinary passion..
7 - Larissa
I have also Mercury ( Aquarius) Square Pluto ( Scorpio)6th/3th house and I agree that the obsession makes me don't eat ( or eat a lot because i'm not seeing what i'm doing, just thinking in another thing) and don't sleep or sleep very late...my rotine and my health suffer with this...and it is very difficult control this tendency all the time...