In general, I hold the door open for anyone who is a few feet behind me and appears to be heading to the same place I am. I think it’s just a nice gesture, and usually if you don’t the door seems to slam even faster and you create more work for the person behind you to 1) catch the closing door and then 2) open it back up which always seems to take more strength than if the door was closed to begin with due to the changing momentum.
While I think most people do this, I have seen so many instances where doors were basically shut in people’s faces. We’re all in a hurry and we all have places to go, and sometimes we’re not in the optimum state of mind to be thinking about these little things, but when you open a door in a public venue would it be courteous to look behind you for one moment to see if you could hold the door open for someone? It’s almost second nature for me at this point.
How about when people are driving on a busy street and it’s a green light, yet you can’t move forward past the green light because there’s so much traffic in front of you. Let’s take a quiz on what you would do. Would you:
a) Wait patiently at the green light for traffic to flow forward
b) Curse silently and turn up the volume on your Kenny G CD to help ease your nerves
c) Honk your horn endlessly to no avail (and to no use) to get traffic to move forward
d) Drive past the green light anyways, blocking the intersection for crossing traffic as they get the green light and ignore the inevitable honking horns
I think I do a combination of (a) and (b), while (c) gets no love from me because my horn doesn’t sound vicious enough and the sound would annoy me. But the people that do (d) really strike me as being inconsiderate. And I know we’ve all been in this situation, and sometimes factors are out of control. Sometimes cars will use the fact that we’re stopped at a green light to try to turn into our lane, and cars will continue to follow suit unless you’re aggressive to get in front of them. But barring that, why would you block an entire lane of traffic that wouldn’t otherwise be blocked? Now you’re holding up everyone, and what purpose is that serving?
Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
all we can do is do our best and answer to ourselves - thanks and welcome Tam!
2 - Phillip Winn
A lot of people (men) got turned off of holding doors open for women years ago, but even more use that as an excuse. Me, I hold doors open for everybody, male and female, so nobody can excuse me of pandering.
Er, pandering on the basis of gender, at least.
3 - Nancy
I do, too. Hold doors for everyone, that is. That's what I was taught to do by my parents & the other 300 or so people who had a hand in raising me, teachers, neighbors, grandparents, grandparents' neighbors, etc. etc. I don't see people doing that any more - helping bring up kids that aren't their own - probably because everyone's afraid of a lawsuit. I was in a grocery a few weeks ago, & a kid was giving his mother some extremely rude sass. I put a look of (unfeigned) horror on my face, and said something to the effect of, "What are you doing, talking to your mom like that? You ought to be ashamed! How RUDE!" & passed on. The kid was young enough to shut up because a total stranger had talked to him, & I hope the mother got the message, too.
4 - Tan The Man
While it is the nice thing to, and I do try to go out of my way to be considerate to others, there is an inherent sexism to this idea. Rarely do women hold doors open for me, even if my hands are full. Is it because I'm a guy and I can "handle" it? Consideration should happen on both sides, but if women expect to be helped, then they should return the favor.
5 - Nancy
No, I think it means most people are rude & inconsiderate. I hold doors for men, women, kids, old people, dogs, etc.
6 - Tan The Man
That could also be true.
7 - Bob A. Booey
Tam Hoang, you're like the Vietnamese Garrison Keillor.
They should really have a safe, family-friendly sitcom called "Everyone Loves Hoang."
I am, believe it or not, a very courteous driver, door-holder, and toilet-flusher.
I don't nose in on people's affairs unless someone's like abusing their kid or their girlfriend or some other helpless, innocent person. Then we have a problem. I'm always the idiot who breaks up fights for some reason.
That is all.