Timmy was standing on the sidewalk holding his father's hand when out yonder - maybe half a block - a commotion caught his tweenaged attention. Escorted by a parade of police cruisers and motorcycles, the parsimonious but patriotic protesting beavers had come out of the their ponds and taken their grievances to the streets.
"CANADA IS OURS!" read the caption held by one beaver. "We have been used for too long by Canada and we won't stand for it anymore" explained the head patriarch beaver. "We built every damn dam in this country!"
"Oh daddy, why are the beevies doing this? Don't they know their place?"
"Well, son. Sometimes all things must come to an end and it looks like the beevies have had enough."
Beaver Nation alienation had been growing for some time. Its roots could be found as early as the 1970s when Canada engaged in compassionate social engineering.
The muddled marchers stopped right in front of Timmy as he looked on with a mixture of horror and interest. A hoary beaver stood on a few others and began to shout into a megaphone.
"For hundreds of years we were an integral part of the Canadian economy. The Coureur de Bois and The Bay became millionaires off our pelts. No more. The Beaver Boat Units are mobilizing and preparing to attack!"
"Attack?" Timmy cried to his father.
"Who are they going to attack, daddy?"
"Oh come now son. They're beavers. They ain't going to attack anybody."
Meanwhile, back in oblivious Ottawa where obfuscation was the norm, Canadian officials remained defiant if not in downright denial. Timmy and his pimpled-faced pompous papa watched from a television in window.
A spokesperson for Defense (defense is used lightly here) Canada, Normie-Gordie Burntstrudel tried to reassure the nation. "This is Canada. Everybody loves us as we love ourselves. We are a peacecreating, peacekeeping, peacegiving, peaceeverything country" When pressed if the Canadian military is prepared in the event of the attack he continued with a confident smile "If we are attacked, which is asinine, we are appropriately ready."
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