Oh, but hang on, what about peer pressure? Surely this teen’s friends have something to do with her not being fully pleased with her own appearance. Of course. Apart from the media, who reinforces their ideas of what is beautiful or not? Their parents is my guess. I knew one morbidly obese girl in high school who delighted in reminding me just how far from perfect my physical appearance was – so as to deflect attention no doubt from her own issues. I just tried to block it out as much as possible. It didn’t really seem very different from my own mother’s ranting about what I should be wearing. Nobody likes to be told they’re ugly, but I sailed through high school thinking that surely there were more important things, and it turned out to be true.
There must be some other ways to boost the self-esteem of people, and I know parents aren’t fully to blame, but they don’t take on as active a role in nurturing their children’s confidence as they could. When they do have any influence, we only remember the negative. It took my own mother a very long time to realise or admit that she was responsible for some of my self-esteem issues and despite how destructive it has been, it hasn’t actually made her stop. But hey, she’s probably treating me the only way she knows how – by passing on what she experienced from her own mother. It’s all rather sad.
You’d think parents would cotton on and realise that boosting their childrens’ self-confidence is actually cheaper in the long run! Think about it: if you have healthy self-confidence, then you don’t need to fork out money for the boob job, or therapy later on down the line. Hmm, come to think of it, perhaps my folks would have been better to just get me ‘a new rack’ – it would have worked out cheaper than all that money spent on therapy. I’ve always wanted bigger breasts – these days, who doesn’t?
Article comments
1 - anony.
but people still say..beauty sells...
2 - Snarkattack
Uh, yeah. So what?
Besides, what exactly does it 'sell'?
3 - Tomas
Thank you for the article. You have depicted what happens when physical forms are put over the morality. That defines the situation in the fine arts. Currently, the symbols are removed from any content and thus the beauty ceases inspiring and produces the emptiness, the impression of the futility and the eternal "to be or not to be" so arises.
Art didn’t create but just reflect our reality, our attitudes towards the eternities.
4 - Snarkattack
Thanks very much for your poignant and intelligent comment, Tomas. I especially like your last line - that is a very nice way of putting it, and indeed I do agree.
5 - Ruth
Americans are absurd. That's the only explanation for this.
6 - Snarkattack
Ruth, you're too funny! I'd prefer not to malign all Americans by labelling them all absurd.
I don't plan to have kids, but if I had daughters I'd be doing everything I could to build healthy self-esteem. Not sure I'd be an ideal model as a chronic depressive but I'd try. Plus it looks so damn painful, and waiting - that's an option. One's attitude to one's body changes as we get older.
I sure don't hate mine as much as I used to, and it's not that crash-hot at present!
7 - samantha
Even though this article is a year old and you've probably forgotten it by now but what drew me to this article was the sad fact that the majority of American women are in a never ending search for the ideal beauty. In addition to the various shows dedicated to "upgrading" the human body,( i.e Dr.90212, Nip Tuck, Extreme Makeover) we also have MTV and their sickeningly beautiful models strutting the airwaves 24/7 and poisoning the minds of American youth with pictures of unrealistic bodily proportions. You should get around to reading Beauty and Sadness ( or have you already done so?) because it is about idealized beauty and how it can be used to destroy the people who wish to obtain it.
8 - Snarkattack
No I've not read "Beauty and Sadness" (which I did mention in my article) but thank you for the comment.