As a woman, I felt offended when he said that and I was the minority of one. Isn't it as much a man's pride and joy to ask the woman he loves to marry him? The boys viewed the engagement as T finally caving in to pressure; to the girls it was about perseverance awarded with a diamond ring.
I wondered how little is different between women in the first and developing worlds and how little "independence" and "choice" had to do with mindsets. A girl in India who "catches" a suitable boy to marry her is viewed exactly how T's fiancée was viewed today by this group of Americans. Whereas men think she was impossible to shake off, the women marvel at how her persistence paid off in the end. I felt sorry for T's would-be bride and for those who so rejoiced over her good fortune.
Article comments
1 - Cityscape
I would have been somewhat offended, too, but I never ceased to be amazed at the attitudes some people have about marriage. I agree with you -- engagement should be an "upgrade" for both parties, in that the couple is lucky to have each other. I don't appreciate the idea that women are all trying to "catch" a man. It's an idea put forth by TV and pop culture. If marriage is not seen as an equally good deal for both parties, it's no wonder that so many marriages don't last.
2 - slice_of_life
I wish I could have disagreed. My daughter got engaged recently. Her boyfriend of five years, and now fiance, makes no bones about the fact that he popped the question only because she gave him an ultimatum.
"I'm screwed," was his tangential, only-half-joking reply, when someone asked him a question regarding some post-wedding plans. He had no qualms about saying that in front of me.
May be he thinks it's okay, or even natural, for a guy to feel this way. I'm just wondering how it would be if my daughter had ever expressed such a view in front of her desi in-laws.