In our celebrity-obsessed culture, a frightful beast has been born. They lurk on message boards and entertainment websites waiting to pounce. They hide in the virtual bushes of cyberspace counting down the moments until an innocent smart ass makes a crack about their deity of choice. I’m talking about the celebrity super fan, or the C.H.U.D.S. (Celebrity Hyper-obsessed Undercover Defense Squad). Not to be confused with the less frightening, underground dwellers from the fun 1984 film.
Identifying C.H.U.D.S. is quite easy. They type in all capital letters with bad grammar. These individuals are passionate, obsessive, and totally blind when it comes to their celebrities. Use this recent response concerning Paris Hilton’s incarceration as an example:
“WE? LOVE? YOU? PARIS? STAY? STRONG? PRINCESS ?THEY ?PROSECUTED? JESUS? TO!??TEAM PARIS “
Eek. Let’s forget for one second confusing prepositions for adverbs. Ignore the ridiculous Messiah comparison. The all-caps and psycho punctuation are the dead give away here. Also telling is the narrative as if they are actually speaking to Paris herself. If you see this kind of response, run like hell! Once you’ve bashed a superstar with a crazed fan base, batten down the hatches for a no-holds barred psycho fest.
Just ask MeMe Roth, founder of The National Action Against Obesity. A few weeks back, this zealot basically said in an appearance on Fox News that Jordin Sparks shouldn’t win American Idol because she’s overweight and therefore a bad role model. “When I look at Jordin I see diabetes, I see heart disease, I see high cholesterol,” Roth said. “That’s what’s so sad about this — she is not the vision of health — she is the vision of ‘unhealth.’” Roth, not a doctor or a nutritionist, but a tool with a background in PR and marketing had no right saying such ridiculous tripe. Well, Jordin’s fans didn’t take these remarks lightly. Fox and Roth received dozens of angry letters, emails, and even death threats! Sure, the thin and humorless MeMe Roth needs to shut up and eat a pizza. But demanding her execution? That seems a little severe. Sparks herself was “disturbed” to hear of these threats, according to the Los Angeles Daily News.
Article comments
1 - Amrita
Ha, it's funny because Sanjaya Malakar got me into similar trouble so I understand what you're saying :D
On the other hand, CHUDS are basically the celebrity equivalent of any other obsessed group. As I type this, there's this strange group of divorced men who're simultaneously hitting on me, making suggestive remarks, reviling me and attacking me ... because I'm a woman - just like their ex-wives. It's a strange, strange world out there :)
2 - David
There are some crazy people out there. Some of them may be fans of somebody nice.
This is a surprise? Can't the media find something interesting to write about instead of parroting each other about the fact that somewhere an idiot made a threat to somebody?
3 - Charis
Yes, we Lucy Lawless fans can be a bit over the top in her defense. To be honest, a lot of us did not really like the movie, but thought Lucy did a great job with what she had. I apologise for all us Lucy C.H.U.D.S. (which whith Lucy, there are many) for being rude to you personally. We generally, try not to do that, but we do get over-zelot on occasion.
4 - El Bicho
You, tease. And here I thought you were doing a write-up about a Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller, although it sounds pretty close.
5 - Morgan
I'm glad you're a fan of Lucy's, or I'd have to hurt you. {j/k} Actually, if you're a fan, then you may have some faint inkling as to why some of us are protective of her. Unlike sweet Jordin, (who I love and voted for 24 times, so no attacks, k?) Lucy brought to life a genuine Lesbian Hero. If you think you got spanked for dissing her, for the underwhelming film she was in, imagine what her hubby got when he had the bad form to "off" our hero, and in such an ugly horror film way!
I wasn't so angry as deeply hurt when his ego decided to slap the fans for personal gain. You see, we women, especially women centric women have had to endure the death of our strong female hero's since the Patriarchy began. Everyone from Thelma and Louise, to Ripley, to Joan of Arc had to go for the sake of some male ego. We're used to it, but the difference with our generation is we're not so quiet about the presumed bashing of our very very rare heroines anymore. You may be right about Celebrity acolytes, but you're missing the boat if you equate the Lucy Lawless protection squad with mere fandom. Early in her "Xena" career Lucy claimed "I'm not the great white hope of the Lesbian world." Well, guess what, something funny happened post Xena. That is exactly what she became. She's claimed us as deeply as we've claimed her. It takes a special woman to pull off being a hot, straight, blond, mom of 3, and a Lesbian Icon. Yet, there you have it.
We have so very few who don't patronize our existence, or ignore it altogether. Lucy Lawless, as well as Renee O'Connor don't treat us with disrespect. On the contrary. The two of them can be given most of the credit for turning the show into a Lesbian love story.
Many of us had our lives actually changed by the show's existence. We found self esteem, friends on the Internet, and many of us found our lifemates (me included) through the power of Xena: Warrior Princess. I'm not sure many men can get that. Especially if you happen to be a white male. It's hard to understand the incredible invisibility we true lesbians have in the world. You will never find women more loyal than those who've been dismissed and kicked around as much as we have by society. If we bite your head off for dissing Lucy, then good for us. It's taught you to be more respectful in your criticism. How many people's efforts have you referred to as "garbage," since your ill fated attack on Lucy's great performance in a sub-par film? I hope not many. Garbage is an ugly word, and you, as a critic can do better. Especially, if you have the good sense to be a fan of Lucy's. Take care, Morgan