Dear Elsa,
I seem to have a pattern of being very good at what I do, but finding it extremely difficult to create a lucrative career out of it (or even a reasonable living). I am an artist at heart. I hold degrees from the Berklee College of Music and The Art Institute International and have been celebrated in small circles for my creativity. I've held positions with trade show/exhibit fabricators, commercial printers (as designer), bands with major aspirations, and did a solo act in restaurants (as a musician). I put myself out there as much as I can and even more sometimes. I've made three trips to L.A. in the past six months.
My talent is never in question. I am personable, and generally people seem to like me. I do not claim to love humanity maybe as much as I should. I feel some of that comes from frustration at my predicament. People rarely seem to follow through and do what they say they will. It's like I'm in a holding pattern for life and the emotions get stronger and more debilitating every time I get a lead and it goes sour.
Can you see something I can't that is keeping me out of the fun and the sun?
Artist
Dear Artist,
Actually, I do see something keeping your from the sun and the fun. It’s your nature. Fact is, you’re not a yippy-skippy kind of guy. You're a dreamer (Pisces) with depth (Pluto). And I don’t have an answer to that, other than I think you are fine the way you are. And when you get to this age (thirties), it’d be nice if you could get to a place where you agree with me. So this is the tack I’m going to take with your post.
You’re obviously a sensitive, deep thinking, and feeling sort. It’s sweet. It’s special. And you are a hard worker who perseveres. And it makes me think of any number of movies I have seen of profiles of painters. Edvard Munch, Van Gogh, etc. They are all so tortured. Their lives are not very good!! They are constantly yearning. They are disappointed. Their pain is pretty much continuous, yet they remain on this very difficult path. Why? Because it’s who they are!
And they grace the rest of us. As do you. Your question today graces my column. People will read your words. Some of them will understand them. And they will feel for you, for themselves, and for humanity. And this will not get you your dream job, but...
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