Psst, hey buddy. Yeah, you. Do you see me looking at anyone else? Hey, don't get pissed, it's just my way; don't take it personal or nothin'. Well, get over here already. You want me yelling this across the street so just any yahoo can hear what I got to say? If I wanted the world to hear I'd have take out an ad or hired a blimp.
Hey, I warned you, I'm a bit rough around the edges, but you know what they say about whores with hearts of gold: I may not spread my legs that way, literally as it were, but on occasion, I've been known to sell bits and pieces of myself.
Hey don't look like that. You'd think I just threatened you, ending up in a cheap motel in a tub full of ice and finding out that you've donated your liver. That's not what I mean by bits and pieces of myself. Do I look like that type? Heck, you wouldn't recognize them anyways.
You're thinking I'm the type of scruffy guy you'd expect to be taking part in the illegal traffic of body parts, which is a joke and a half because those folk walk around in the latest designer togs that cost more then I make lurking in this alley for a month. You need a lot of money to be involved in that racket to begin with, and then you're also going have to dress well enough to look like you've got a real business behind you.
Not me boss, I'm at the lower end of the scale. Nothing quite that glamorous for folk like me. Nope, the bits and pieces of myself I dispose of are far less exciting, but to me are as precious as any bits and piece of the physical form. I sell bits and pieces of the soul.
Oh grow up, I'm not a Satanist or something silly like that. I'm an Art Dealer. I represent some of the finest creative minds in the country, maybe even the continent. They pour out their heart and soul and turn it into paintings, sculptures, photographs, and video. Then I try and turn that into money for them.
I don't just represent artists. A person has to eat, after all, and the chance of making any money off living artists is pretty thin. You can't kill them either to increase the value of their work, because you need them alive so they can continue to produce product you can sell after they die when it's actually worth something. If there was someway around that problem, believe you me Charlie, I would have figured it out ages ago.
Article comments
1 - Nancy
Psst...do you know where I could find an original Grant Wood or Edward Hopper? How 'bout a second-hand Wyeth, of any generation? If so, call me.