9) At my high school, Community Junior College, or some obscure minor university, I was:
a) a journalist
b) an editor
c) a columnist
d) all of the above — ...okay, screw you; I used to proofread marketing materials for my local Meals on Wheels.
10) Although I had those wonderful, professional-type experiences, I'm currently:
a) a computer techie who wants to be an entrepreneur someday.
b) a stay-at-home mom who is working on the next Great American Novel.
c) a musician living off my girlfriend.
d) unemployed — and about one stroke of bad luck away from getting a high-powered rifle and finding a nearby water tower with a good view of passing school buses.
11) If I were to name one of my personality faults that could have a negative impact on Blogcritics.org, it would be:
a) I'm racist.
b) I'm a homophobe.
c) I'm a misogynist.
d) I can Google, cut, and paste like a motherfucker!
12) Among the following, the most important subject for me to write about for Blogcritics readers would be:
a) a disaster that killed thousands of innocent Americans.
b) the threat of nuclear destruction from Fascist rogue-states.
c) the ongoing debate about the aging population, threats to Social Security, and various attempts to increase health insurance.
d) J. Lo's latest music video.
13) If I could wave a wand and exterminate one person without guilt, punishment, or retribution, I would pick:
a) Osama Bin Laden
b) George W. Bush
c) President Chavez AND Pat Robertson
d) the dude who left Slash off The 100 Top Guitarists List. Idiot.
========
Scoring:
a = 1
b = 2
c = 3
d = 4
0-13 — Go back to that proofreading job.
14-26 — You belong over at FreeRepublic or CodePink.
27-35 — You belong in an insane asylum. Let's hope they don't allow you access to a keyboard and a modem.
36+ — You're not a Blogcritics writer: you should be contributing to the Mensa Newsletter.
Other Sharkian Questions for the Curious:
"ARE YOU A RACIST? Take the Test!"
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - DrPat
Well, I scored over 36 -- but being a Mensan means I'm smart enough not to associate with those boring nerds!
(Besides, they're entirely too likely to call me on my BS...)
2 - Ronald C McKito
woot!!! I got a 3. But really I got a 25.
3 - Temple Stark
This is the best thing on the Internet. We should all stop right now.
4 - DrPat
Aw, the Shark (bottom-feeder that he is) is just trying to hijack the all the
cluelessfolks who comment (up to 136 today) on the "how to sign up" post.Oops, forgot I typed a few comments in there myself. Scratching out the adjective...
5 - Temple Stark
No, I think he's smart. Somebody said on another thread that sharks are still evolving so they're not perfect.
I have to humbly disagree.
6 - Dave Nalle
I like the fact that NO score actually qualifies you to be a blogcritic.
Despite his many shortcomings and scoring at least 60 on his own test, Shark has once again proven that he is at least sometimes moderately amusing.
Dave
7 - Temple Stark
Sharky's just clever like that. He's the best. Can I give your phone number to my moms?
8 - Timmy
I'm pretty sure that Shark is in high school.
9 - Shark
Dear "Timmy" -- which, ironically -- is not the name of an adult:
They wouldn't let me in High School; the Vice Principal said I would be a "detriment to the school and the community."
I put it on my resume.
BTW: that was almost 40 years ago.
window-lickin'.... mumble mumble...
====
Dave says I'm "moderately amusing". That's equivalent to saying "I didn't HATE it."
Dave, you want me and you know it.
====
DrP, on the hijacking accusation; any guesses as to how many people show up, take the test, and expect some legitimate, official results from Mr. Olsen?
~ahahahaha...
Like he needs more emails.
10 - Baronius
I grew up with classic films, Pokemon, and meth, and it certainly had no ill effects.
11 - DrPat
Baronius aside: "Ignore the occasional twitch..."
12 - Shark
Baronius, um, yer not my wife... are ya?
Katy? You usin' another screen name? Jeez, I thought you were in bed!
13 - Temple Stark
OHMYGOD!!!! Shark has come. Praise Jesus. Like honey from heaven. We are mere mortals. My day is complete now. My life. How could I have been so blind to the artistry of Shark? Considering. I'm wide awake now. Shark's writings deserve only praise. I have seen the error of my ways, but am not worthy of forgiveness. Yeeeah. Picture me clapping my hands. I'm so so happy.
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14 - Temple Stark
Oh boo I wanted my smiley for you face to work for you. Oh well. Giddy ...
15 - Shark
Temple, *this always works for me:
[insert smiley face here]
*Sorry 'bout the advice; lawd knows I don't wanna appear a smarty-pants in your eyes.
Just tryin' to be helpful.
16 - Mark Sahm
And here I thought the emoticon was a sideways shark...
17 - adam
Shark, Fuck me with a blockquote, that post is a TOTAL CLASSIC.
18 - Silas Kain
Shark, THAT was awesome. I wish I had some Depends before I read this one but WalMart's shelves were empty.
19 - alpha
Underneath it all Shark has a good head, humor and the soul of a fox.
20 - RJ
Can you still be a BlogCritic if you don't know how to close HTML "center" tags?
21 - John Bill
Holy crap, me score 247. Me really smart.
22 - Eric Olsen
Sharky, you're on a roll - imagine if you ever put all that ability toward the betterment of mankind.
23 - Timmy
Shark,
Almost 40 years ago? You're pretty old to be so bitter.
Here's a thought: Shark is the Sean Hannity of BlogCritics. Most everyone who posts feels obligated to kiss his ass.
24 - Silas Kain
That's because we all appreciate the finery of it as we kiss it, Timmy.
25 - Natalie Davis
Mr. Timmy, you clearly know not of what you speak.
Oh, and those who are young and bitter usually are trying to be fashionable. Those who are old and bitter generally have justification for it.