I don't know what drives that need to feel cherished. I just think I crave tht experience of someone saying, "Hey, I want you to sit down and I just want to be with you, to take the time to know you, to coax you out like the frightened wild animal that you are...just let me pet you and you don't have to be tamed. It's okay. I just want you to know its okay and if it takes all day it's okay because there really isn't anything else that I'd rather be doing. Nothing is more important.
[Read that last part again if you, or someone you know is "Type A". This is what it feels like to be a trapped inside a Type A's body, to be caught in the fear of losing your "Ms. Independent USA" crown if you admit to someone that you need something other than help opening a jar of pickles. It sucks. And if you are around someone who is Type A, they can make you feel this way...like staying busy is more important than actually being with you. These are the death throes of my own Type A-ness. Dragons everywhere.]
Trust and time are so interwoven. Trust and time to BE without my having to make it TIME WELL SPENT.
So, if this is a microcosm and a projective test, it is about trusting. Trusting that I have value, that I have a natural fit that I don't have to force. Trusting that I can have one long slow dance with God...that I'll be held and guided and loved and cherished in a dance that I can relax myself into.
Breathe myself into.
This is the 5th post from An Anticipatory Grief Observed, but only 1 and 2 are at Blog Critics. If you want the skipped installments, here are the links:
An Anticipatory Grief Observed, Pt 3, Birth of a Death Coach?
An Anticipatory Grief Observed, Pt 4, Dancing Around Mt. Fuji
And wondering who is this Mike guy?
Let me tell you about Mike
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