I thought quickly. Is there some kind of car accident etiquette here? I felt bad and yet I really had no reason to feel bad - I had the right of way and did nothing wrong. Was this driver obligated to tell me herself she was okay and/or bore no ill will? Or do I to her? As I now got closer to her car, about 50 yards now, she had her car turned around and was signaling to re-enter the fast lane.
It hit me suddenly there was going to be no conversation. While there was no real technical or legal need for us to exchange "I'm okay, are you okay?" it still seemed the right thing to do. Was the other driver embarrassed or in a hurry? I was starting to, frankly, get kind of pissed off. This person had come close to making a move that could have gotten both of us killed and she did not now even have the courtesy to say anything to me. Her car started to enter the fast lane and there was no indication the driver was going to come in my direction.
That was it. I turned around and started back to my car. Not only did the driver avoid slowing down as she approached me, she was speeding up. A hand shot out and I'm not sure what it was. I was expecting a thumb's up or a wave to indicate she was okay, but it wasn't that. I don't think she gave me the finger, either. I really have no idea what that gesture meant, which is why I wanted to talk to her to avoid this type of ambiguous exchange.
I thought about this in the larger picture. Has it come to this: Are we now not even going to talk to people we crash into? I was reminded of the movie Crash. While I liked much of the movie, I thought of a line referring to the title was absurd, perhaps intentionally so:
Article comments
1 - Brad Schader
great story we can all relate to. It could be that she feared what you may do to her. Still a statement on our society, but less of a judgement of her reaction. Maybe because I live in Florida, but we are told to avoid contact if possible- too many road rage shootings and such. If you were running towards her car she may have thought this.
I love these personal stories. I hope there are more here to come.
2 - Scott Butki
Thanks. I am glad to hear you like personal stories because I don't think I got feedback on the other ones I wrote (also, incidentally, about car crashses.)
I didn't even think about her being afraid of me, me being a unitarian pacifist and all I rarely consider myself much of a threat. But then she had no way to do know that.
3 - Mat Brewster
Two thoughts/stories: Once driving in Tuscaloosa traffic the car in front of me did 180 degrees so that I was looking at the driver and passenger right in the eye. The fear was thick between both of us. Amazingly they made it to the side of the road without a scratch, but for a moment there I thought I was a goner.
Another time a friend of mine had a small accident with a little old lady at an intersection. It was totally his fault, but he never got out of the car. He didn't say anything to the lady or gesture in anyway. They were obviously not hurt too bad, but it seemed awfully rude to me. Of course I didn't get out either. Like a drone I followed his que. I feel bad about that all these years later.
4 - originalgeek
Next time, just hit your brakes just enough to let the other car into your lane. Moron.
5 - crevans
Meh. I commute on a motorcycle. People encroach into my lane and nearly kill me at least once a month, usually more often.
Be angry. They almost killed you. Never rely on the other vehicle to see you in time to avoid hitting you, it'll eventually get you killed. The idea on a motorcycle is that you're invisible - I've found that idea works just as well in a car. Just make whatever manuever you need to to get out of trouble, legal or not. As they say, better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
As safety systems in cars get better, suspensions more compliant, engines and cabins get quieter, and the amount of distracting electronic gadgetry increases, people seem to get ever more isolated from the road and forget that they're propelling several thousand pounds of potentially metal at a high rate of speed. Driving (or riding a motorcycle) is about the most dangerous thing most of us do in a day. Respect the threat. Keep alert and safe out there.
6 - BDKives
In 2004, I was driving from Hammond back to Baton Rouge, La. There was always road construction somewhere on along I-12. You never knew exactly where, but you knew that somewhere you would come to a complete stop. This day I was almost back to Baton Rouge when I came to a dead stop in front of an 18 wheeler. I looked in my rear view mirror and I saw another 18 wheeler coming up too fast on me. I hit the gas, pulled off onto the shoulder, and braced for the concussion between the two big trucks. There was a lot of tires squealing, but no impact. After a minute, I backed up the shoulder to see less than a foot of space between the trucks. I would have been crushed in an 18 wheeler sandwich. I was cool. Maybe I was numb. After about 10 minutes, traffic began to flow again, and the trucker that almost killed me let me in.
We drove on a few miles when it really began to sink in. If I hadn't moved as fast as I did, I would be dead. I wanted to see the face of the trucker that almost killed me, so I slowed down. The trucker didn't pass me. I slowed down to about 10 mph while everyone else was doing about 40 through Baton Rouge traffic. Finally the trucker pulled into the fast lane and around me. The trucker was a woman in her late 20s or early 30s. She did not look down at me, just stared forward. I could see her clearly. She drove slowly on. Two lanes of I-12 going 20, traffic backing up behind us, and me getting mad that she wouldn't look at me. It stayed like this for three exits. I could see the guilt and maybe fear in her eyes. I wanted to see a nod of recognition, and maybe an "I'm sorry", but it never happened. I was livid when I finally got off of I-12 and went home to the wife and kids.
A year later, Katrina would hit New Orleans, and everyone would move to Baton Rouge. It now seems funny thinking about driving 40 on any road in any direction at any time close to 5 PM.
7 - Scott Butki
Well, I seem to have touched a nerve. Thanks for all the reflections and memories.
I just realized that I linked to the wrong story. I meant to link to an earlier story I wrote about being in a car crash.