Sabra Chartrand, in her "Patents" column in today's New York Times, brings news of Toyota's latest: a car that weeps when you're sad, glowers when you're mad, and smiles when you're glad.
No, I am not making this up.
Don't cry for me, BMW. (apologies to Madonna)
Here's the full story from the Times:
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An Automobile With Feelings
The expression "road rage" usually refers to infuriated drivers who lose control of their temper and lash out at other motorists.
But what if a car could also express anger, crouching low on its wheel base and glowering with red headlights like a lion about to pounce?
Four inventors working for Toyota in Japan have won a patent for a car that they say can help drivers communicate better by glaring angrily at another car cutting through traffic as well as appear to cry, laugh, wink, or just look around.
The inventors explain in the patent that they want drivers to have more than a one-note horn and on-off headlights to signal other drivers.
The horn sounds the same, they write, whether a driver is "asking for permission to cut in front and in showing gratitude for having been allowed to cut in front," so other people often do not know what the honking is about.
That was not good enough for the inventors - Kenji Mori, Naoto Kitagawa, Akihiro Inukai and Simon Humphries - who work for Toyota Jidosha Kabushiki Kaisha of Japan, which owns the United States patent issued last month.
In it they describe a car with an antenna that wags, an adjustable body height, headlights that vary in intensity, and hood slits and ornamentation designed to look like eyebrows, eyelids and tears, all of which could glow with colored lights to create moods and physical features.
The inventors believe these features on cars will make driving more entertaining.
In the patent they write that "as traffic grows heavier and vehicle use increases, vehicles having expression functions, such as crying and laughing, like people and other animals do, could create a joyful, organic atmosphere rather than the simple comings and goings of inorganic vehicles."
Article comments
1 - Tom Johnson
The inventors believe these features on cars will make driving more entertaining.
I think the word they were looking for is "distracting," not "entertaining." This is all we need - another thing that causes people to not pay attention to their driving. "I didn't mean to go through the red light, officer. That car over there was smiling at me! I was just trying to get my car to smile back!"