All I Wanted Was a Coffee

All I wanted was a coffee.

I’m easily irritated, see, aggravated by things that should be simple by definition but get complicated because of human intervention.

Once I was in a doctor’s office — a shrink really — being evaluated for progress during a severe burn-out. The doctor asked me bluntly, “You don’t like people do you?”

Ten years of med school and you just now figure this out? Holy crap, do I hate people; not all of them, and hate may be too harsh. When I find the few smart ones that can garner my attention, it’s all cool. But otherwise, a hopeless species hell-bent on quick and dirty self-satisfaction with no consideration of others ... ever. I’m like Agent Smith — I have a load of contempt for my fellow human beings. But I’m already getting off track.

So, here I am at work, running low on caffeine. But the coffee machine won’t cut it. I want a nice Tim Horton’s French Vanilla Cappuccino – or Freedom Vanilla Cappuccino depending on where you live. Not worshipping at the caffeine altar of Tim is simply un-Canadian. So I decide to go to the Tim Horton’s right outside the office where I work. This, in concept, should take a whopping 5 or 6 minutes of my time. So I throw on my winter jacket and head for the elevators.

I should remember the crappy elevator configuration. There’s not enough elevators for the amount of traffic in my building. I get in, press the first floor button and off I go. Not quite. I had to make a milk run on every freaking floor on the way down. And it got full half-way down. But it doesn’t end there. Hell no, that would be too easy. There’s barely space left for one medium sized human being. So what happens on the following floor down? Of course, despite having enough space for a small woman left, three guys with gym bags decide that they’re gonna fit in the elevator. What the fuck? Are they blind? No they’re just stupid, borderline brain-dead and without any consideration they pile in, squishing us to the walls.

Why? Very simple. Like every one who works in my building, they are understandably annoyed by this really bad elevator setup – we all agree on the pointlessness of engineers at this point. Having to wait 5 to 10 minutes for an elevator and getting a full one (and this at all times) gets frustrating. But here’s where I differ with their opinion. It’s not a reason to selfishly compound the issue by crushing people who got on the elevator and getting everyone in a bad temper. That’s just ego-centrism at its best and worsens the already bad experience for everyone else bidding their time, patiently. So now I’m getting intimate with the back of the head of some guy, I got the hand ramp getting shoved up my ass, the temperature is shooting up and my last nerve is being pricked.

Article Author: David Desjardins

Dave works in the IT industry despite his better judgment. He’s an artist at heart with a critical mind. He enjoys photography more than he could ever express. Dave feels a need to tweak his brain with copious amounts of taurine to stay sharp while absorbing all kinds of media on any medium. …

Visit David Desjardins's author page — David Desjardins's Blog