It is much easier to get into an abusive relationship than to get out of one. Everything from fear of retaliation to feeling helpless can make it difficult for a victim of abuse to sever ties with their abuser.
Unemployment, underemployment, codependency, and not wanting the children to suffer (though they probably already are!) can also discourage the victim from just walking away. Even worst, the pernicious prospect of being publicly humiliated or perhaps even murdered by their abuser can simply paralyze the victim.
Such are compelling reasons to avoid an abusive relationship altogether or stand ready to swiftly exit it, if you find yourself in one. However, as many victims of abuse will tell you, wanting to be strong and sagacious in this manner is not as much a challenge as finding the actual will-power and wherewithal to do so.
Therefore, I would like to impart to you invaluable insights that can help you steer clear of an abusive relationship or from staying in one. I urge you to take to heart what you are about to read because it will be useful to you regardless of your gender. Besides, your abuser's first or next act of aggression may just be one from which you cannot recover.
Eluding or escaping an abusive relationship begins with you rejecting the idea that "it's a thin line between love and hate." Not only are love and hate separate and distinct ways of viewing and treating people; the "line" between these attitudes and approaches to people and relationships is as vast as the universe itself.
It is not love that drives someone to hurt you. It is not love that compels someone to attempt to control you. Much to the contrary, love brings out the best in us even during the worst of times and provides us with motivation and a manner of making the most of whatever moments we share. If your partner claims to love you, it is only fitting that they follow-up that declaration by doing things that build you up rather than tear you down.
You will not tolerate abuse if you truly believe that your own health and happiness are more important than having a wife, husband, or honey. You are just as significant as your significant other, and a diminished you is detrimental to you, your relationships, and every good thing you desire. Love yourself enough to liberate yourself from such a need for acceptance that you lose yourself in gaining it. Love yourself and others by doing what, first, is best for you.
Article comments
1 - TAMMY ANDREWS
I am right at this moment making a list of all the reasons why I need to get out of the relationship I am in. My partner is very controlling (in my mind, not in his) He has made comments about me being too independant and he has mood swings that happen in an instant. He can literally be very kind one moment and extremely nasty the next. If things don't go his way he's miserable and takes it out on everyone.I don't even enjoy being around him anymore. He has hurt my feelings soooo many times. He is a recovering alcoholic. He has been sober for 5 months. I thought he would change with sobriety but If I'm really honest with myself I can see that he has not. My gut instinct tells me to just get out now, you deserve better, so that is what i am going to do. I am going to keep this article and refer back to it whenever I feel myself getting weak. It will be a good re-enforcement for me. Thank-you
2 - Adina
This article is so deep, I feel a need almost, for goggles and a shovel! No sarcastic pun intended; it's really touched me! Goodness knows, how many "Leave that Loser Alone" articles have been written by women, for women.
However, compound the inborn mistrust many [females] harbor for other [females]----and even if the verbiage contained in a darn good article may as well be personally delegated for [the reader going through the same thing]-----sometimes it simply takes a man to advise on men.
I applaud this article, along with "The Measure of a Man", and hope to be able to utilize these words of wisdom.....not just for myself ,but for all those near and dear to me.
It's not everyday I get a chance to contribute my 2 cents to the works of a prospective millionaire, and I really appreciate it all!