So we just skirt the hallway sides
A phantom and a fly
Follow the lines and wonder why
There's no connection/And week of rolling eyes
And cheap shots from the trite. — The Shins, "Phantom Limbs"
I had to chapter a Soldier out of the Army today. I had no choice. She was a good Soldier, but the laws are clear and the laws tie my hands.
The words that got the ball rolling on her separation from the Army were only four and they made up one of the most ridiculous sworn statements I have ever seen in my life: "I am a lesbian."
My commanding officer and I stood there looking at the piece of paper. “That’s it?” a look between us seemed to say. A straight, diagonal line from one end of the page to the other said that, yes, that was it.
I glanced over at my young Soldier standing there at attention, eyes locked at some point straight ahead. She had told me earlier while we both were outside smoking a cigarette she was going to do it — she was going to come out to the commander. Most of the unit already knew she was gay — no one really cared. She was smart about it though, keeping it hidden away from those who could put forth into motion processes she wasn’t ready for.
She knew the consequences of what she was about to do, but she told me she couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t live the lie, she couldn’t not be herself anymore.
“You sure this is what you want to?” I asked her.
“Yes, I’m sure,” she said, a quiver in her voice betraying the wall of strength she was desperately trying to project.
“Don’t lose your cool, don’t lose you’re bearing,” I said to her after we’d talked some more and affirmed a course of action.
“Be a professional to the very end,” I told her.
Glancing back at her as the CO signed the legal documents I was so proud of her, standing there, rigid, “yes, sir” and “no, sir” the only answers coming out of her mouth. Right there, at that moment, she was walking the walk of an Army value of personal courage, and as I looked at her, both pride and frustration at the current Army policy concerning homosexuals washed over me. This was only the beginning; it would take weeks before all the paperwork would be done and she was discharged from the Army. In the meantime, she was expected to go back out there and be a Soldier, albeit one who wasn’t living a lie anymore.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - doug m
Thanks for sharing this story. It's heartbreaking to read the sacrifice this young woman, like all gay people who serve, was willing to make for a country that expects her to deny who she is.
2 - Dr Dreadful
The repeal bill passed the house a couple of weeks ago and should hit the Senate shortly, where the Republicans are unfortunately determined to filibuster it. Hopefully they won't succeed. But it's all come just a little bit too late for the soldier in this piece.
3 - Benjamin
I do hope that if/when they repeal the law there will be some provision that allows discharged under the old law to return to service.
4 - Cannonshop
If the repeal comes through soon enough (Fingers crossed) she should be able to appeal her discharge, or re-up without problems. In a way, it's kind of funny how society's turned- the "Gay dodge" was a fairly frequent method of avoiding military service back when we were under the Draft. Seeing that done away with and the reg changed to allow good soldiers with some...different...habits to stay in (or, return) makes sense.
5 - Jeff Forsythe
I read a piece just yesterday where yank marines beat a young bloke to unconsciousness and then legged it. When the naff lot was nicked they crapped they fled because he was trying to chat them up. Two bloody hard marines at sixes and sevens over being afraid of a “dodgy” Nancy boy-a jolly well bit of bottle that took.
Jeff
6 - STM
Good on her, if that's what she wanted to do. It's her business.
Nice hat, too.
7 - El Bicho
Well-written article. Thanks for sharing.
I hope that as this policy is being shaped and worded that all those discharged for their sexuality would receive some type of amnesty, whereby their records are amended and they are allowed to reapply if they so choose
8 - Jet Gardner
amen
9 - Jordan Richardson
Tremendous article. Very powerful. I especially applaud your mention of integration, as it truly highlights what sits at the core of these sorts of issues as nothing more than raw fear of the Other. What's more, the public rarely seems to share the views of those who consistently tell us to be afraid.
10 - Tim
Good riddance. We don't need homosexuals in the military. It she want's to be one, that's her business. But they have no place in the military.
11 - Silas Kain
Good riddance? When you decide to post without anonymity, let's chat. Until then, you are yet another typical manifestation of the gutless, cowardly Far Right fringe which preys on everyone to advance their own cause. Thanks to you and your ilk, the GOP has become a shell of its former self. Thanks to you and your band of hateful zealots, the Party of Lincoln has become diametrically opposite to those principles upon which the GOP was founded. If there is a Hell, hope I am on the welcoming committee giving out the assignments. I've got a great one planned for you.
12 - Dr Dreadful
Tim:
Tell that to Alexander the Great when Silas introduces you to him.
:-)
13 - Tim
Yes, the GOP has changed. It's far too liberal. Homosexuality is not a right, so people can't claim it as a right and be angry when they're punished for beign homosexuals.
14 - roger nowosielski
You're a righteous-thinking American, Tim, ought to be proud of yourself.
15 - Silas Kain
Yep, that confirms it. Language like that means ONE thing -- latency. Look it up, Tim.
16 - Mark
hmmm
latency:
1. the state of being constantly behind on trailer rent
17 - Dan
Wonder why it's so hard to keep your sexuality to yourself? The obsession with forcing everyone around you to acknowledge your personal sexual proclivities seems pathological.
18 - Tim
For people who preach tolerance, you guys don't seem very tolerant of my opinions. I could get into all the reason why I don't think that homosexuality is a right, and why I don't think they belong in the military. But I won't because I already see that you're not tolerant of the views of others when they disagree with you, even though you want me to tolerate homosexuals in the military even though I don't like it. That sure sounds like a double standard to me. If you truely believed in tolerance, you'd tolerate my views even though you don't like them. After all, that's what tolerance is; accepting something even though don't necessarily agree with it or like it. At least I don't preach tolerance, because I'd be a hyprocrite if I didn't accept the views of others like you're doing. You're saying that the ban on homosexuals in the military should be repealed because it's not fair that they shouldn't be accepted because their lifestyle isn't normall considered an acceptable lifestyle. But then you turn around and respond to my comment with sharp critizism and refuse to accept my point of view. It seems like you're refusing to tolerate my intolerance, which is hyprocritical and a complete double standard on your part. If you really believed in tolerance, you'd accept any and all views that you didn't necessarily agree with because if you didn't, you'd be intolerant. See, preaching tolerance like you're doing is a huge double edged sword. You order me to tolerate things I don't like, but won't tolerate things you don't like and won't tolerate opinions or views you don't like. I never intended to give all the reasons why I don't like homosexuals in the military, I just wanted to see what you people would say to my comment. I just wanted to prove that you don't practice what you preach. I've succeeded. Just six comments after mine have proven my theory that you're hypocrites. Only tolerating the views that you agree with is not tolerance at all. Rather, it's a double standard.
19 - Mark
...tolerance?
Sounds like a personal problem. Take it to the chaplain.
20 - roger nowosielski
Mark, check this out, especially the comment thread.
21 - Silas Kain
I don't preach tolerance and I don't tolerate those who anonymously post inflammatory remarks without benefit of engaging in a dialog which may actually accomplish something.
I love this Country with every fiber of my being. I would fight to the death to defend your right to spew your brand of hate. I'd doubt you would reciprocate.
22 - roger nowosielski
Well, Silas, your betrothed has betrayed you. You had better get a divorce or an annulment at least. You won't be able to see and think clearly until you face the facts.
23 - Silas Kain
Which facts, Roger? That this country isn't worth loving any longer? That our government is completely in disarray and in need of a wholesale clean out? That we're evolving to a day when there will be one world government?
The handwriting is on the wall, Roger. We're poised for a global conflict. Few people in this country see the ramifications of Hamid Karzai's decisions regarding natural resources. Afghanistan and Iraq are going to look like strolls through Disney World, my friend. As they say in the Boy Scouts, "be prepared".
24 - Tim
You may not acknowledge it, but you do preach tolerance. The entire point of the repealing the "don't ask, don't tell" policy is that it's not fair that homosexuals have live a lie if they're in the military, and that I should accept their lifestyle even if I don't like it. The only other option is for you to force me to actually like it. There are no other options; either you want me to accept it even if I don't like it, or you want me to actually like it.
You people just want us to accept homosexuals for who they are even if I don't like it. Acknowledge it or not, that's what you're doing. You are preaching tolerance, yet you refuse to tolerate dissenting views.
25 - Silas Kain
The entire point of repealing DADT is because it should not have been on the books to begin with. A soldier is not defined by sexuality. Just look at Alexander the Great. Oh, I forgot, he doesn't count in your world because he was before the Lord when all those pagans didn't know the Good News. When a country is in trouble and needs the aid of its military, the LAST thing on one's mind is sex.
I suppose you support gay WalMart employees being forced to wear a yellow vest. And, if so, you probably agree with the slaughter of all the innocents who wore pink triangles in the concentration camps.