On Saturday afternoons I usually doze. The wine from the Sabbath meal, along with all the other medicines I take usually does me in. I sleep and usually find myself waking up around sunset.
This Saturday afternoon, after lunch, I didn’t doze. I tried to keep the thoughts of finances and money worries away from the edges of my mind, aware that after the Sabbath, they would come roaring back with a vengeance. They always do.
I looked at the computer – shut as always for the Sabbath. I longed to get on and type a story and send it off to Blogcritics…
I felt a Presence nearby.
HEY BALDY!
Baldy? Nobody ever called me Baldy before – not that the name didn’t fit…..
YEAH, YOU. I GET TO CALL YOU BALDY. I DON’T HAVE ALL DAY.
Automatically, I thought, “Well, can’t you call me Reuven?”
MOSES HATED ME CALLING HIM BY HIS NAME. SAMUEL HATED ME CALLING HIM BY HIS NAME. YOU? YOU’RE LUCKY I SHOW UP AT ALL!
I had an idea of Who was around. Hanging around His heaven might be a very difficult experience. Especially if it was going to be for eternity.
YOU KNOW, BALDY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO HANG AROUND MY HEAVEN AFTER YOU DIE. DIFFERENT ARRAGNGEMENTS CAN BE MADE, YOU KNOW.
I was starting to get annoyed. “For my wife, you always show up as a warm blanket. Me you call Baldy?”
I SEE YOU DON’T COMPREHEND THE BASICS, KID. G-D OF SUFFICIENCY. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
“Well, uh...”
I SEE YOU DON’T. LET ME CLUE YOU IN. YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED. YOUR WIFE NEEDS A BLANKET. IF YOU NEEDED A WARM BLANKET LIKE YOUR WIFE DOES, I’D BE A WARM BLANKET. YOU, BALDY, NEED A KICK IN THE ASS. BUT I HAVEN’T GOT TIME TO SHOOT THE BREEZE. I CAME TO GIVE YOU SOME PERSONAL TUTORING.
Now I was very uncomfortable. Already on the edge of losing a spot in Heaven, learning that G-d felt that I needed a kick in the ass…
Article comments
1 - sr
Just to say hello Ruvy. Knew you were born in Brooklyn. I lived on Bedford Ave. That was 60 years ago.
Have a good-day and stay safe.
By,
sr
2 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
sr, I also lived on Bedford Avenue - 50 years ago.
Where on Bedford did you live?
3 - NR Davis
What a lovely piece, very entertaining! It is sometimes so difficult to just let the mind stop spinning and to force it to focus on one thing... Very nice to get a kick in the ass from the creator on occasion.
4 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Thanks fo the kind words, Ms. Davis. I dreamt this up on Saturday and had to keep myself from concentrating on it.. as I have to too many Saturdays.
5 - sr
Ruvy, Now I have to do a little research. This will be fun. How old were you when you left Bedford Ave. I was about 2 or 3 yrs old. My father moved us to St.Louis because the company he worked for in NY moved the business their. The name of the business was Fasion/Embroidery and my father was the general manager. I will get back with you on the address. Are you familiar with Peck Memorial Hospital in the Borough of Brooklyn?
I was born their 62yrs ago.
Get back to you later Ruvy.
sr
6 - sr
Rueven, Did I spell your name correctly? Feel free to kick my ass if I did not. If I came to Israel with my family would you show us around?
sr
7 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
sr,
Apparently, you left Bedford Avenue some years before I was born.
Bear in mind that Bedford Avenue is a rather long street, stretching from the Williamsburg section in the north to Sheepshead Bay in the south. You need a cross street for a referent - i.e Ocean Parkway, Church Avenue, Broadway, Avenue L, etc.
Pull out you birth certificate. The original, if you have it, will list the address of your parents. Then google up a street map of New York City. From that, you should be able to locate where you lived as a toddler.
I lived in Williamsburg until I was seven, near South 9th Street, and then my parents decided to move to another neighborhood, Midwood, somewhat towards the south, a neighborhood they perceived as less dangerous.
Were you to come to Israel with you family, I'd be honored to meet you and try to show you some places here. Small as the country is, it is still a big place with much to see.
The name spells Reuven - Ruvy is a nickname I got when I was working as a dishwasher here.
8 - sr
Reuven,
1993 Bedford Ave.
Thanks for your kindness and offer concerning Isreal. Will look foward to that day if it comes about.
sr. a gentile in the US.