I gave in and reluctantly applied for Social Security Disability in June, and all my doctors began sending in reports to the government. I was told I'd never walk right again, nor get a job where I'd be weightbearing on my left leg. Because of the cast, they couldn't correct my knee or the fractures in my leg, and they healed together with an 18-degree deviation from my knee to my foot. In other words, my foot now juts outward about 2 inches more than it should.
Also, I'd begun running low on my savings, and had cut back to only using it to send minimum payments on the credit cards totaling $850 a month. To conserve ready cash, I was forced to begin putting the phone, electric, etc., on my credit cards. Then I started selling things to make the rent — things like the big screen TV, the surround sound home theater system, an antique jukebox that I'd had converted to play CDs, video cassette recorders, my new graphics computer, art supplies and equipment, and Sony LCD monitor, all for pennies on the dollar because I needed money fast.
In September, I was told I qualified for Social Security Disability, and they sent me a back-check to June when I'd applied. If I'd listened to my mother, I'd have gotten one back to December. Because I was on workman's comp, I'd only get $425 a month. Lesson learned. I also found out I wasn't qualified for Medicare until I'd been in their system for 25 months because I was under 65. A great collection of tapestries went next, and I burned copies of a 600 CD collection so I could sell the originals for pennies on the dollar. All my aquariums went, except an 80-gallon I couldn't part with. I thought of starting up my artwork again but the depression took my concentration and creativity, and by then I'd sold all my equipment, and my eye problem was getting to the point where I had to admit to myself that it was getting serious.
I was kicking myself for feeling sorry for myself all the time, but still didn't understand that I was in the throws of a very deep clinical depression. Until you've actually lived through one, it's impossible to describe how depression can disable you completely. I was sleeping almost all the time, and had to really push myself just to do basic household chores. My curtains remained closed for two months without my ever looking out of them. Friends, who quickly tired of the same old tale of woe, began avoiding me.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Jet in Columbus
Update, from Ohio State: Hi Mr. *******
I am also concerned for your eyes - that is why we are requesting the expedited review from Access Health Columbus. I do not believe that you should wait to be treated for financial reasons.
Aside from Access Health Columbus, I have also been speaking with the OSU Ophthalmology Residents' Clinic to get you scheduled in their office as soon as possible.
They just called me back and informed me that you have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow (Thursday, May 4) at 1 PM. Please let me know if this time will not work for you. They are located on the 5th Floor of the Clinic Building, here on campus. The address of the building is *** West **th Avenue (it's a couple blocks west of the College of Optometry). This visit is the first step in getting the treatment procedures done on your eyes. Their phone number is 293-****.
They have informed me that the visits range from $95 to $105. I spoke with them about your financial constraints. We have a couple of options. There is one with the Department of Ophthalmology. There are some papers you will complete either right before or right after your examination tomorrow - for these papers, you will need to bring your W2 and two pay stubs (or statements for the disability income you are receiving).
There is another service called HCAP that is through the hospitals. I spoke with Evaan in patient financial services and she said this program applies money for outstanding debt you have with the hospital - you apply for this after the service has been rendered (so after your appointment tomorrow).
As for paying for the treatment... after your appointment tomorrow, they will determine if you do indeed need a treatment procedure and they will schedule it, if it is needed. There is another financial aid program called Knights Templar that you can apply for, to have the procedure paid. You can get more information on this at your exam tomorrow.
I really do not know much else about these funding programs. But, if you have questions, I am more than happy to call the hospitals and get the answers you need.
This is good news. Again, please let me know if 1 PM tomorrow will not work for your schedule.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nidhi G. Satiani, O.D.
Cornea & Contact Lens Fellow
The Ohio State University
College of Optometry
2 - Maurice
Amazing story. I have no advice but I wish you well.
3 - elvira Black
Very happy to hear about this latest development in your comment above, Jet!
4 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks Maurice: I'm sitting here staring at $1800 on my desk and shaking my head. May minimum payment for Visa is $725 and for MasterCard it's $250. I've got the car lease payment due of 299.83, ans what's left has to go toward prescription drugs and a doctor visit that's not covered.
I've got no choice but to put the utilities on my visa again.
I head off to the Clinic today to see what's what. I guess the plan is to do the preexam for laser surgery, and then get fitted for the temporary glasses. If all goes as planned I might be able to renew my driver's licence by next monday, or possibly Saturday.
I've got some photo negatives of the contraption they put on my leg to subsitute for my ankle, and if I can get a friend to scan those, I'll publish them under my own URL too.
Thanks for the best wishes, they're greatly appreciated.
5 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks Elvira, I'm trying to stay cautiously optomistic, and hope it doesn't go the way passing my eye test, or getting glasses from the Lion's club went.
Cross your fingers.
there's also the issue of it being so serious that they want me to agree to the surgery before I'm sure there's a way to pay for it!
The main point of this post is that, I can't seem to get help to keep from going completely broke, until I actually go completely broke!!!
Government agencies that won't help until you've been served with an eviction, or shut off notice, or go blind.
Thanks again
6 - Elvira Black
Jet:
Again, I'm just talking from my own knowlege of NYC gov't, but my friend who was able to get Medicaid also had a Medicaid specialist at the hospital he went to who intervened and was able to get him a temporary ok to start getting medical treatment. I think it was because it was obvious from his lack of income versus expenses that the Mediaid would go through--which it did. Perhaps there is someone there at the hospital who can do the same paperwork for you. It seems that time is of the essence in terms of your health problems, and the doctor there seems to be looking at it this way.
My friend was also awash in credit card debt. He was able to talk to the credit companies, and they gave him a grace period to pay a small amount each month for a certain period. In his case, his sister was able to pay off his debt for him (at a reduced lump sum) after the grace period ran out, but the credit card companies might be willing to eliminate or reduce your interest and at least give you a temporary break if you contact them. I'm not sure about this in your case since he told them he was looking for work at the time, and you may not be able to assure them of this. But just thinking out loud based on what I've seen.
In your case, it seems plain that your expenses are vastly exceeding your income. Although you are getting some Social Security benefits, since they are not enough to cover your expenses it's possible you might also qualify for Medicaid. (There are also public hospitals, but I don't know if you want to go that route). In any case, I wish you the best of luck with everything.
7 - Elvira Black
Jet:
PS--from the letter you posted in comment one, it sounds like you will probably have no problem in getting your treatment paid for one way or the other. I'd go with your doctor's advice and assume that the treatment will be paid for. They can probably affirm that for you pretty quickly.
8 - Jet in Columbus
Bad news... This exam took five hours, using more blinding light, florescent dye, and doctors muttering at eachother just within earshot, but not close enough to understand. Boiled down, I'm going to need 3 different kinds of laser surgery over a period of months. Surgery is so urgently needed that the first one is scheduled for next wednesday, because they can't wait any longer than that and have told me to worry about financing it later!
They only give me a 50-50 chance of keeping my sight, and with diabetes it'll only get worse.
They wrote me a prescription for glasses, so I'll have enough sight to pass my eye test for a license with 20-40 vision. On top of that I'm now required to get an eye test every year or lose my license. I renew my license every four, but an eye test is now required every 12 months. Instead of going to any registrar, I now have to go to the state highway patrol instead.
Each surgery runs $750 dollars and we're talking a minimum of about a dozen or more because they can only do so much at a time to keep the swelling down. The glasses will become more and more useless as each surgery occurs, and the surgeries won't improve my eyesight.
In order for me to get financial help, I have to go back to the state yet again, and get a letter of refusal. Each organization that can help financially is now saying, "well if you're helping him, than I'm not!" WELL WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO HELP ME THEN?????
Now here I go being a criminal again. Workman's comp has agreed to provide transportation to my far flung doctor's appointments for two weeks. My conscience says, tell them I could get my license back by next monday, orrrrrr do I let them keep driving me around with gas at over 3 bucks a gallon?
I was also told that in just over a week, my eyes have changed and they had to write a new prescription. I'll get my glasses Friday, I hope. Thankfully they're going to be free!
So, I've got the problem of how to pay for the repeated surgeries, but the doctors are all saying if I don't have it soon, I'll definately go blind... On top of that there's only a 50-50 chance it'll help. The tests revealed that I'm growing blood vessels in the back of my right eye that shouldn't be there, and if they're not removed by laser soon, I could lose my sight in that eye permanently.
Also, fluids and fat solids are leaking into the center of both my eyes, and if uncorrected, will cause blindness as it causes even more swelling and clogging things up.
One organization now wants a list of all my valuables, as if they won't help me unless I sell off what I've got left before they'll help me. Do I lie and gamble they won't show up at my door to see? Do I drain the bank of the less than $2000 I have left before they check?
Just to have a doctor stand in front of me and tell me there's a good chance I'm about to go blind, and that there's only a 50-50 chance I can be helped is enough of a trauma.
I know, I know Arch Conservative, I'm just being a drama queen, and feeling sorry for myself right?
what next?
9 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks Elvira, Social Security Disability told me I can't collect medical benefits until I've been in their program 25 months. I'm going to have to go to have the state deny me medical help before next wednesday and get a letter to that effect before any of the hospital charities will help me.
With my credit cards quickly approaching $45,000, especially if I end up putting some of these laser proceeedures on my card, the only action is to go for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. I don't see any other choice.
I'm told that means auctioning off everything I have left.
Thank you for caring enough to make the suggestions.
10 - Elvira Black
Jet:
All the paperwork and bureaucracy are just part of the procedure that they have to employ. I don't think it means they will necessarily take all you have--just need the figs and info to compute your eligibility.
I agree with the docs who say get the procedures and worry about the financing later. I don't think I'd put any of the procedures on your credit card at this point, unless there's some reason I can't ascertain. It may take awhile to sort out, and they may even send you some bills before that happens, but it doesn't seem possible that in the end you will be responsible for med bills in your financial state. Your eyesight is really the top priority right now.
I wouldn't feel guilty about the free transport--your eyesight is not good and it's better to go this route. I know the depression is probably making you feel needlessly guilty and uncertain, but treating your eye condition is crucial and can't wait.
11 - Jet in Columbus
Elvira 10: All the threats to take everything that I've worked my whole life for, have become numb to me because I've faced them so many times before and somehow gotten through it.
It sort of gives people the impression that I'm attached to "things", but there are many "things" that hold a lot of meaning to me.
An example, I acquired a 1908 Winter & Company upright grand piano from my sister that holds a lot of memories and personal value. I've never had it appraised, but I'm sure it's value would keep me from getting benefits from any of these places if they knew I had it, because of it's resaile value.
It's sort of like Ma Kettle saying of her 15 kids, "I woouldn't take a million dollars for any one of them... but I wouldn't give you a nickle for another one!"
In terms of personal value vs actual value, it's like a '79 Triumph Spitfire that I was in the process of lovingly restoring. For two years I'd put my heart and soul into that car, and had gotten about 3/4 of the way through restoring it, when I was broadsided by a cab running a stop sign.
...his insurance company told me it was only worth $500. It would've taken at least $3000 to find another one in the shape I'd brought it up to in 1989, and I eventually had to sue, and only got $1200 after the lawyer fees.
Just because you have a love for some object, doesn't make you're materialistic, just sentimental. It's like my Sebring *click my URL and scroll down), that I'm driving now. I wouldn't give it up for twice its value, because it's the very first car I ever got new, I'm its first owner. You can't put a price on that.
My mom and a few of my friends have filed for bankruptcy and I was told that like the IRS, everything was taken and auctioned off.
I'd burn that piano before I let someone take it.
12 - Jet in Columbus
Elvira #10: I know you're right. It's like what I said about going on welfare, filing bankruptcy means I've failed, I've hit rock bottom, but I know I'll have to do it eventually, so why am I so worried about a hospital bill piling up on my credit report?
While the surgeons say get it now-no choice, I get the impression from the lady that came in afterward, that they wouldn't power up that laser unless I showed there was some way to pay for it. I'm sure it was blustering on her part, but it left a lasting impression.
I was told that the glasses they're making will only correct my vision 20-40, and the doctor described it as only a "bandade on the problem" because without the laser it'll only get worse, with the laser it only stops more damage, but doesn't make my vision any better. In fact with each proceedure, the glasses will eventually become more and more useless.
Up until 2 years ago I had perfect vision. It started to go a year ago, but was only slightly blurred, and after a while cleared up, but in only the last two weeks it's really deteriorated. To anyone who's reading this, take it from me, don't ignore the warnings and get tested. Don't let it go as long as I did... TRUST ME you'll regret is as much as I am now!"
13 - Jet in Columbus
Elvira 10: Actually the depression is making me feel needlessly helpless and out of control. When it takes hold of me, my life freezes uselessly and I just slip into a mental coma, usually manifesting itself in falling asleep.
I wake up mad at myself for not doing what needs to be done, and deterined to move forward, only to sit and stare at the wall.
The antidepressants keep me from being really low, but they also prevent me from feeling joy or a sense of accomplishment, so the net results is sort of "what's the use?" Even if my eyes were put back to perfection, I'm still facing my disasterous financial condition, my leg jutting to the left by two inches at the knee, and recovering my former "self".
As I've suddenly found a way of expressing myself here, I'm gradually getting better at coping.
It's said that God never gives you more than he thinks you can handle. If that's true, I'll come out of this the strongest most determined man in the world.
I've never prayed to God like he was a Santa Clause, and never for myself. I prayed that my sister wouldn't lose her resturant, but she did. I prayed my father wouldn't die, but he did. I've prayed for God to intervene in so many friend's problem, but he's always come up empty. Maybe that's why right now I'm having trouble thinking of God as anything more than a bunch of people's "imaginary friend"
Thanks so much for caring
Jet
14 - Dave Nalle
Now here I go being a criminal again. Workman's comp has agreed to provide transportation to my far flung doctor's appointments for two weeks. My conscience says, tell them I could get my license back by next monday, orrrrrr do I let them keep driving me around with gas at over 3 bucks a gallon?
You EARNED the workman's comp by working. You are not a criminal for taking advantage of it. It's something to which you are actually entitled, not just a welfare 'entitlement'. There's no need to feel like you're doing something wrong by taking it.
With my credit cards quickly approaching $45,000, especially if I end up putting some of these laser proceeedures on my card, the only action is to go for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. I don't see any other choice.
I'm told that means auctioning off everything I have left.
If you have a job or a regular source of income like social security you can file chapter 13 which protects your assets and works out a payment plan. If that ultimately proves not to be enough then it can be modified at any time to chapter 7.
If you don't currently have any liens filed against you you have a great deal of flexibility and could even file chapter 11 bankruptcy or avoid bankruptcy alltogether by going though a credit counseling agency that could reorganize your debts and negotiate payment. Both of these options would protect your personal property.
If it does come down to Chapter 7 you should sell everything of real value BEFORE you file, because the amount things sell for at auction is often nowhere near their real value.
The real catch with the new bankruptcy law is that you have to go through credit counseling to qualify to file in the first place, so rather than doing that you're a lot better off going to a reputable non-profit credit counseling agency as your first solution to a debt problem. You want a genuine, tax-exempt group which is a member of the NFCC, and you can find one in your area through their website. A legit agency should charge NO fees for its services. Your most likely source for help is the CCCS of Ohio - that's where you are, right? NFCC actually has live online counseling on their site, with no obligation to actually do anything. You should go to them for advice before taking any action. They may be able to help you out without bankruptcy or help you get through that process as positively as possible.
Dave
15 - Jet in Columbus
Dave Nalle, That's great of you to research that for me, I appreciate it, thanks.
I was at Dr. Bartley this morning, and apparently my bone structure is still too soft for the knee replacement, so I'll have to wait another two months, oy. He says if the swelling doesn't go down he's written a "C9" for another cortazone shot.
My caseworker is handing my case over to a counselor, who's obligated to find me a job that comforms to my physical limitations, but I guess they're putting a hold on it until we find out how the eye surgeries go. Just thinking of going months with that is worrying, especially since they apparently have to use different lasers for different problems.
I mentioned that I might have trouble getting around and she said not to worry and use the transportation. She said it a drop in the ocean compared to 11 doctors and/or surgeons, and all the healthcare, and they've spent in excess of a quarter million or more so far already.
Again, thanks for the advice, and I certainly will look into it. I'm on my way to the Ohio Highway Patrol station about my license now.
That'll be fun.
It's time to put some of this aside for my sanity's sake. Maybe I'll write another attack on Bush or something, or do a few DVD reviews to get my sense of humor back
Thanks again my friend
16 - Christopher Rose
Your article is displaying fine Jet, so I've removed your comment to avoid confusion.
17 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks Chris, much appreciated, I sent copies of Joan's not to Dave too.
18 - Jet in Columbus
Okay, on to more silliness. I went over and renewed my license and when I got home I discovered that while she'd put the restriction on for corrective lenses, she apparently didn't see the thing about getting my eyes tested once a year.
Hmmmmm, time to let sleeping dogs lie???
19 - Joan Hunt
Sadly, this passage
is all too familiar on a personal level.
I hurt for you, Jet. I'm in a similar predicament stemming from a back injury I received while helping a patient more than a year ago. While my injury didn't involve violence, I know the sleepless nights, the depression, the loneliness, and the struggle to maintain independence. The finances seem to pale in comparison at times, but ultimately, they kick your ass.
The one thing I'd tell you is this: it's time to swallow your pride, call family and friends, and ask for help. Tell them you need to move and cannot afford to without their benevolence. As well, keep up the writing. Share this with them. Let them know how isolated you've been. It's a big step to take, but it's a necessary one if you're going to reclaim your life. I think you'll be surprised at how willing people may be to help. In fact, you may discover that some folks disappeared from your life simply because they felt powerless to do anything for you.
As for the eye problems, if you received large doses of steroids following your initial injuries, your diabetes could well be a result of those medications.
Don't give up hope, please. If nothing else, you know there's someone else other who understands and is willing to listen.
20 - Tom Smith
I know exactly how you feel. Am there doing that. About your medicine. Contact your doctor and ask if they can sign you up with the Perscription drug companies where your meds come from, I am getting free meds from the MFG's
Good Luck, Tom
21 - Jet in Columbus
Thank you Joan #19. Sadly I wish that were possible. My born again sister didn't even tell her kids I existed because I'm gay until just recently, in fact just before my father passed away April 17th, and since the funeral we're "sort of" on speaking terms. She knows my situation all ready, but she's in bad shape too.
My brother was in the military for twenty years, and we'd get along until I'd put something in a letter or an e-mail about a lover and I'd get the "I don't want to hear that faggot stuff from you!" and we'd lose touch for another 10 years.
I've had 9 surgeries since Nov 4th, and God knows what they gave me. They were claiming at the eye exam back in Jan of 2005 that it was due to diabetes. I'd never had any inkling I was diabetic until I was tested afterward, and the doctor at the time couldn't swear one way or the other if it was from the beating or not, so he blamed diabetes.
I went through a lot of denial about having it, but I've been faithfully been taking my Glucotrol every day. This recent battery of tests were very conclusive that I have it though. My problem is I'm not testing as often as I should because of the high cost of test strips... not to mention the out of pocket costs of a doctor's visit just to get a prescription for the meds.
I've approached quite a few charity orgs related to diabetes, but they all say the same thing, they're not taking new clients because of budget cuts, so I'm stuck.
I appreciate your caring enough to express your views, it does mean a lot.
What's that line about the kindness of strangers?
22 - Jet in Columbus
Tom #20: My doctor's trying to help me out as much as he can by giving me free samples the drug reps bring him for high blood pressure medicine.
With all that's happened to me, I can go super high, and ten minutes later be normal.
I'm trying to find a way to stabilize my emotions enough to not have to need the blood pressure stuff, but it's tough when every week seems to bring a new major disaster. Sometimes when I stand up suddenly, I get dizzy, which leads me to believe that it's all emotional, because when I relax that's when the dizziness manifests itself.
I've gone on line about the test strips but no luck. They run about $65 per hundred for a 30 day supply testing only three times a day. I've cut down to twice a day, and now only once a day. It took looking for something to cut out of the budget, just to pay a five buck fee to put in for help from Access Health Columbus.
Thanks for the suggestions.
23 - Dave Nalle
As far as jobs go, it seems like you can certainly type in volume and with accuracy. You ought to look for an office job, like data entry or transcription or something along those lines. Pays better than delivering pizza.
Dave
24 - Jet in Columbus
My case is geing turned over to a career counselor in a couple of weeks, I assume the company I used to work for is obligated to find me another job if they can't fit me in with their organization somewhere.
It's hard to get my hopes up, so I'm taking it a day at a time.
You know, I used to think pizza delivery was a great paying job too, then I figured in the cost of car maintanance and replacement when it broke down and couldn't be fixed. My former car was a 99 Sebring, until I discovered that it'd cost $700 just to change the spark plugs, because the top of the engine had to be taken off to get to the back three of a side-mounted 6 cylinder. Thankfully they reengineered that problem for the 04. Yeah, now instead of that, if I blow out a headlight or a parking light, it'll run $75!!!! they have to pull the front facia off to get to it!!!
if it's not one thing, it's another...
alas
25 - Dave Nalle
I hate to even say this. I know you love your car. But wouldn't the first sensible thing to do be to give it up for something more economical and practical?
Dave