A public school principal in Louisiana is under investigation for violating the federal ban on school-sponsored prayer. She allegedly handed out prayers — complete with grammar and punctuation errors — for students to recite before taking standardized tests.
Hey, shouldn't there be a federal ban on school principals who write grammatically incorrect anything? Maybe I'm just being picky.
Apparently, the principal has no faith in the students or teachers because she thinks each child needs to pray for help in passing the tests, referred to in the prayer as the "enemies." And she also seems to think the kids need to be spoon-fed a prayer, as if they aren't capable of saying their own prayers in their own way, should they wish to do so. [Which, by the way, would be the legal form of prayer in school.]
I'm surely no fan of standardized tests as the sole barometer of a school's or an individual's performance, but shouldn't the principal at least pretend she doesn't loathe the tests, just so the kids have, oh, I don't know, a positive attitude toward taking them? Or at least not a "the test is my enemy" attitude? I'll settle for a neutral attitude, okay? The "enemy" attitude can't be a good thing, particularly for kids who are struggling academically.
Do You Believe in Miracles? NOOOOOOOO!
The principal also distributed a "special announcement" to teachers last year, dealing with the school's troubled status: it's in danger of being taken over by the state for poor performance. Like the prayer, the announcement contains grammar and punctuation errors and asserts faith in God. To me, it also shows a lack of faith in the teachers and students:
We will not be taken over by the state but by faith. ... We will need a miracle. And after all isn't that what he specializes in?
Perhaps miracles are God's specialty. But doesn't the specialty of school principals and teachers have something to do with educating students so that they don't need miracles to bail them out? I guess it's too much to ask for a little positive thinking and perhaps a plan of action to improve the students' skills and, as a byproduct, their test scores.
BHW Gets the Whole Scoop and Nothing But the Scoop
Thus far, news stories have published only excerpts of the prayer and announcement. But the BHW investigative team has unearthed the complete text of both documents, and it's a doozey of a read. [You should have seen the rough drafts!] Please note that I have reproduced the writings exactly from the originals, blemishes and all.
First, the announcement given to teachers:
To: All Green School StaphContinued on the next page Page 1 — Page 2
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Shark
Things are getting so insane that it's hard to do satire any more. You can't satirize something that satirizes itself -- which about 90% of our cultural output does on its own.
Seems like in the culture war, we take one step forward and about a half-a-mile back.
At this rate, we should reach the new 'Inquisition' by about 2006.
PS: shameless plug -
more on school prayer
2 - Eric Olsen
Following up on your point, Sharky, please make sure to put in the subcategory of "Humor and Satire" on yours that are that given the escalating absurdity of real life. Thanks.
3 - Shark
Heh. Will do! Wouldn't want my fake journalism to be confused with the real fake *journalism out there!
*NY TIMES, USA TODAY, FOX NEWS etc.
4 - bhw
Shark, every sacred cow needs its day in the sun. [Oh GOD that's an awful double platitude, isn't it? Note to self: start taking lunch breaks out of the office.]
If I can't satirize stuff like this, I'll lose my effing mind from the depressing reality of it.
Laughter may not be the best medicine, but it's cheaper than hillbilly heroin.
5 - Mac Diva
There's satire and then there is trying to sneak racist crap like this under the radar.
'Sharky,' eh, Eric? Will you be loosening Psycho Shark's straight jacket straps and tucking him in bed with a teddy bear, next?
6 - Chris Kent
MD,
That's the second time you've promoted Shark's rather peculiar post. You're doing more to make people read it than he ever did when posting it.
The Dallas gorilla incident was one of the saddest things I've read about in a while. That gorilla was taunted by stupid kids and he broke out. If that gorilla had wanted to, he could have killed 5-10 people. I hate zoos, especially areas where gorillas are forced to live. It's the most depressing thing to see in the world. I don't think that incident should have been made fun of, but it shouldn't be promoted either......
7 - Mac Diva
Chris Kent, I don't remember whether you were here doing the last gorilla episode. Probably not. If you were, I think you would understand why Psycho Shark posted that entry. Hint: It is not because he has an interest in animals.
(P.S.: I am Chris Kenting you because there are so many Chrisses here.)
8 - Shark
Chris, I agree; it was a sad event. It made me really pissed and depressed. Zoos are an abomination.
But as to humor and satire, that's one way I deal with that kind of stuff. And I did think the Dallas cops angle was pretty interesting; they've been pegged (rightly or wrongly) as pretty impatient with the ol' firing arms over the last few decades.
Anyway, I don't apologize for anything, and if MacDevil wasn't such an ignorant paranoid, she'd understand the LAST thing about that piece was a racist attitude toward anybody.
9 - Mac Diva
Chris Kent, I agree that the gorilla's death was a sad event. The incident, including the injuries, is regrettable. This episode shows how far we are from understanding intelligent animals just like the Keiko/Willy situation did.
But, I was trained to look at the evidence when evaluating a situation. The evidence against Psycho Shark is conclusive. He has been major contributor to every hate thread posted at Blogcritics. He never mentions people of color without having something denigrating to say. The entry referred to is at least his second making fun of people of color. I also do not believe even an insane person would make the reference to 'minority' in the headline unless he wanted the gorilla-people of color connection highlighted.
On another thread, the apparently manic-depressive Psycho Shark is whining that people here are plotting to do something to him in real life. Talkin' about paranoid. I don't know of any such plans for the individual, but I can't think of anyone more deserving of any misfortune that might befall him.
10 - Shark
...but I can't think of anyone more deserving of any misfortune that might befall him.
Wow. What a thing to say.
11 - Chris Kent
I like everything you write Shark.....and the Dallas Police Department leaves a lot to be desired.....There was something about the gorilla incident that left me deeply disturbed.
12 - Shark
Chris, thanks, I needed that.
After such an ugly thing as McDemon said, I was startin' to feel like humanity had sorta left the building.
re: the gorilla - I know. That event haunted me for days. Still does. I believe there's a real good (serious) story in there somewhere.
13 - Mac Diva
Chris Kent said:
I like everything you write Shark.....and the Dallas Police Department leaves a lot to be desired.....There was something about the gorilla incident that left me deeply disturbed.
Since 90 percent of Psycho Shark's time at Blogcritics is spent assailing me, I gather that means you approve of old, washed up white sociopaths attacking bright young women of color. It seems an odd thing to brag about though. Oh, well, at least you have some empathy for the gorilla. My email program overreacts when I use address blocking, therefore I must ask that you no longer contact me. I've decided that I will not interact with people who back this insane (and utterly talentless) individual in his shameless behavior. You have placed yourself in that group.
14 - Chris Kent
MD,
I think Shark is a great writer and I enjoy his posts. I think you are an amazingly good writer and I enjoy your thought-provoking posts. I have teased you guys about your ongoing feud and have not taken it seriously. For that I apologize. I shall stand clear.
15 - Shark
In the space of 24 hours, McD 'removed' two people from her 'friends' list -- Chris and CW Fisher -- two of the best writers and overall gentlemen on this site.
They were sent to the "enemies" list simply for expressing pleasure at one of my riffs.
Again, I can't apologize for the insane vengeance this woman has for folks who expresses an interest in my work, but I guess the goal is to put a chilling effect on anyone contemplating a response to one of my posts.
So I have to find ways to induce the average reader to read and respond to my current and future entries.
From here on out, for all posters who even feign the appearance of communicating with me, I'll email a coupon for One Free Donut!
("Compliments" receive an upgrade to a Cinammon Roll.)
Thanks --- Shark's Management
16 - Eric Olsen
I don't like any of this "us vs. them" stuff and would really like to see conflict contained to specific issues, or if really necessary, specific individuals. I don't think a general guilt by association is helpful.
Clearly the fact that people stick around is reason to believe there is common ground to be found - shouldn't we try to maximize common ground and not extrapolate points of contention?
17 - Shark
Eric, although you made an honorable plea for sanity, it wasn't explicitly directed at me.
So for that, you get a half a coupon.
18 - Eric Olsen
Half a donut is better than none, Sharky - btw, what is the ontological status of donut holes?
19 - Shark
They only exist when you look away.
See Schroedinger's Dessert experiment for more.
(And someone notify 'duane' that it's SHOWTIME!)
20 - bhw
Donuts, schmonuts. I'm just happy people are commenting on my post.
Oh wait ....
21 - jaded naivete
Rambling, but so what.
What is so bad about prayer in the schools? Everyone wants to go back to the 50's lifestyle, whether they realize/admit it or not. People want life to be nice, where you could walk down the street without having to look over your shoulder, and worry about bad things happening. Where your kids could ride their bikes across town, and stay out till dark. Well, this writer's here to tell you that many of the issues that we have today began when the law steeped in and told people where they could and could not pray. I will catch untold amounts of flak for this view, and have on numerous occasions done so, but it is the truth. I am not a bible thumper by any means, but you would have to be blind to not be able to correlate the timings of "no spiritual guidance allowed" in schools, and when things really spiralled downhill. Schools ( where kids spend the majority of their time) didn't or wasn't allowed to care, and then the parents slacked off, and then we get what we have today - metal detectors on the doors, drug sniffing dogs in the halls, and teachers that care becoming more and more infrequently found. I do not send my children to public school, they attend parochial school. If you observe (and I have) two 1st grade classes going on a field trip to the same place, form the local elementary school, and from my son's school, there is a world of difference between the manners and behavior of the two groups, and I will assure you that it is not my son's class that was acting out in an unacceptable manner.
22 - bhw
I for one do NOT want to return to the 50's. I'm pretty happy to have missed them the first time around, thank you very much.
As for safer neighborhoods and schools, who wouldn't want that? But that doesn't mean I want the whole 50's package.
And I don't think the lack of prayer in school has caused anything but the lack of prayer in school. That and the lack of the hand of government forcing religion -- ONE religion -- on children.
23 - Mark Saleski
gee, come to think of it...i stopped drinking milk back in the mid-60's and since then society has gone straight to heck in a handbasket.
the timing is is eerie.
i'm so sorry everybody.
24 - jaded naivete
One time disclamer:
Please don't bother to attack my spelling or grammatical errors, as they are most likely typos, and I am too lazy to backspace and correct them. So relax, I probably can make things comprehensible through elaboration just as well or more efficiently than you, and with a more appropriate syntax. If you see them, at least you are reading it, and I seriously doubt that they would make the meaning unclear.
25 - Mac Diva
I assume Jaded is kidding. (I definitely hope so.) Half my relatives fled the South as if they were being pursued by men in white robes carrying torches and rope during the 'nice' 1950s. (Come to think of it, they probably were.) My older brother and sister were not riding their bikes wherever they wanted. They may have been praying in school, but it was while using second-hand books in a segregated building with a leaky roof and a rat infestation. I, for one, have no desire to join Jaded in her time machine. To do so, one must conjure a fantasy world that never existed and ignore the suffering that did.