My mother's own self-image issues were passed on to me. I'm not trying to blame my life-long struggle with my body-image issues on my mother, but she played a big role. She would tell me I could stand to lose five pounds. She was the one who called me "chunky" and I would overhear her talking about me to other people, comparing me to my beautifully undernourished niece.
So then started my addiction to dieting. My first diet was later that year in 6th grade, I was 11. I only wanted to lose 10 pounds. Now here I am, 23 years later, still trying to lose those same 10lbs, plus a few more.
My addiction to dieting isn't so much the issue for me anymore. I think if I do lose the weight, then great. If I don't lose it, or if I only lose half of it, that's okay too. I think I look pretty good for my age, my husband thinks I'm hot. I'm healthy and I can still chase my kids around. I'm okay, like this.
My worry is that I have two beautiful and perfect little girls, and I feel like I will have failed as a mother if I pass my body-image issues onto them. I want to set a good, healthy example for my girls. I want them to see a mother who is beautiful at any size, a mother who loves herself, and loves them unconditionally. I want them to grow up with a self-love that I never had.
So far, I think I'm doing an okay job. I think my awareness of my own issues will keep me from making the same mistakes my own mother made. At least, that's my hope.
Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
Chantal, I think you are the double-plus superfly coolest - thanks for sharing this and your children and husband are very lucky.
2 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Chantal,
It is a wise woman indeed who knows what she doesn't wasn't to pass on to her children...
You have lucky kids. But you have a whole culture to contend with as your kids get older - not that I have to remind you...
3 - chantal stone
Eric and Ruvy...thank you very much...
Ruvy, as far as the culture my daughters will encounter...I figure if I do a good enough job early on, they will be fine, regardless of what society is doing or thinking--or not thinking, as the case may be.
thanks again.
4 - swingingpuss
And BTW, you are a gorgeous woman :)
5 - chantal stone
Thank you for your kind words, swingingpuss....and I get your point about not letting remarks like that get to you.
As an adult, certainly I've learned to let things go (even when certain members of my extended family seem to keep them coming, however, I'm not sure if one ever totally recovers from feeling that sting as a child.
All we can do is learn, and try to not make the same mistakes.
6 - lori
thanks for sharing your story. your awareness will get you through anything!
7 - gonzo marx
wonderfully written chantal....thanks for sharing with us
on a side note, you should have no worry about doing to your children the harm your mother obviously did to you...
how do i know this?
because you are Aware of the problems it causes, so i am certain you will not make that particular mistake...
no worries, you will make your own mistakes...we all do
Excelsior?
8 - chantal stone
thanks gonzo...and you're absolutely right
9 - Jet in Columbus
EVERYBODY SING!!! Nov. 15....
Haaaaaaaaaaappy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Happy Birrrrrrrrrrrrrrday dear Chantaaaaaaaaaaaall
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!
I wanna spank her'
No, me! me!
I called dibbs!
Why I aughta
Love Hugs and Kisses
Jet