God spoke to me today. Her voice was stern and clipped, sounding very much like Ayn Rand- though that may have simply been an affectation for my benefit. Anyway, I was buzzing down the road in my car, and we were chatting amicably. She sent a message for all y'all.
God told me to tell you that the national mourning period for 9-11 is now officially over. From this point, it should be considered history. It has been two full years, and everybody should be getting on with their lives. One point she said you should take from the whole wicked tragedy is that your time here is limited, and should be invested wisely. "Perhaps unnecessary crying and hoo-haaing are not the wisest investments of time I have given you."
This does not mean that the events are to be forgotten, or forgiven too easily. She said that eye for an eye stuff was still good. "Vengeance may be Mine, but I expect you to take responsibility for defending yourself. I've given you Americans everything- up to and including nuclear weapons. If you won't go knock down the bastards who are trying to kill you, then I don't want to hear you whining when you get hit again."
She further pontificated (well, She has a right) that we all need to quit indulging ourselves in the fantasy that the world is a safe, cushy place. She said that we need to use the brains She gave us.
"Using that brain," She elaborated, "should lead you to the conclusion that it doesn't serve Me or you either one for you to indulge in unnecessary dramatics over bad things like 9-11. Bury your dead and move on."
I'm not entirely comfortable with this, though. People are hurting. I want to ameliorate pain. Please, Ayn, uh, God, uh, ma'am- don't you have compassion for their suffering?
"Yeah, yeah," She answered. "I feel your damned pain. Frankly, however, I'm tired of hearing about it. Much of your pain now bores me. As I look into your grieving hearts, I see self-indulgence. You got off with only three thousand dead out of a nation of 300 million. That figures out to only about one out of every hundred thousand. To 99% of Americans, this was largely an event on television; you didn't actually know any of these people. Quit milking it for something to feel bad about like a bunch of teenage girls."
Article comments
1 - Jim Carruthers
uhm, Al? The invisible sky fairies? The ones who call themselves "god" or whatever?
Sorry to break it to you, but they don't exist
Figment of your imagination, poor child rearing, I don't know.
Sorry about your loss, but making up fictional scenarios doesn't make the boo-boo better.
2 - Jeff Brokaw
Oh lighten up Jim. I don't even like Ayn Rand and I found this entertaining and largely something I agree with.
Nice job, Al.
3 - Al Barger
Yes Jim, I know, but try telling Her that.
4 - Jim Carruthers
Oh, great, so I have to mediate between the voices in your head.
I didn't ask for this gig / I'm getting too old for this shit / I'm not even supposed to be working today / Who the hell left this tuna sandwich in the fridge / Do you have any gray poupon / Wipe your feet / Use sunscreen / Well, it wouldn't itch so much if you didn't scratch it so often / It hurts when I pee / Check out that rack / Oh crap
5 - Al Barger
Jim, I don't think you want to get in between the voices in MY head. They don't always play nice.
6 - Augustine
Funny, I was on the hotline to God myself just now and He/She said that you made all that up, Al.
And that the person you were talking to was very likely Ayn Rand but it sure wasn't God and He/She can prove it.
We had a little chat and He/She said to remind you of an old saying:
An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.
7 - Jim Carruthers
I had a hotline from ghod once, wow. Blew my, uhm, socks, off, yeah, that's what she blew, my socks.
erm, where was I?
Oh, yeah, in the Matt Ruff book "Sewer, Gas & Electric", the avatar of Ayn Rand is realized as a genii in lamp. About the only thing she's useful for is some light, but it is fitful, unreliable, and mostly a pain in the ass.
8 - Jim Carruthers
Oh, the additional thing about "Sewer, Gas & Electric" (published in 1997) is that an airplane destroys the Empire State Building, and an architech builds a Newer Empire State Building which is taller than the WTC. And there's giant alligators in the sewers.
If you can find a copy, it's a great book in part because it so funny and skewers the pretensions of Ayn Rand fans. (I originally called them "twats", but Eric wants us to be civil, and calling people who like Ayn Rand, "twats", is, on reflection, not nice).
9 - Al Barger
"Judge, and prepare to be judged" - Ayn Rand
Augustine, I must disagree as regards An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind. That is to say that EVERYONE is guilty. I am not. I have not poked out anyone's eyes, so my sight would not be hindered.
Also, my God can beat up your wussy God.
10 - Doug Snedden
A Message From God To You
cc: The World.
I convey this message to you whom I have stirred with the sound of my voice. These words are my signature. You may bring your doubt, your fear, your faith, or your courage; it matters not, for you will be touched by the rhythm of my voice. It moves through you like a beam of light that sweeps - if only for a moment - the darkness aside.
I dwell in a frequency of light in which finite beings cannot uncover me. If you search for me, you will fail. I am not found or discovered. I am only realized in oneness, unity, and wholeness. It is the very same oneness you feel when you are interconnected with all of life, for I am this and this alone. I am all of life. If you must search for me, then practice the feeling of wholeness and unity.
In my deepest light I created you from my desire to understand my universe. You are my emissaries. You are free to journey the universe of universes as particles from my infinite womb with destinies that you alone will write. I do not prescribe your journey, or your journey's aim. I only accompany you. I do not pull you this way or that, nor do I punish you when you stray from my heart. This I do as an outcome of my belief in you.
You are the heirs of my light, which gave you form. It is my voice that awakened you to individuality, but it will be your will that awakens you to our unity. It is your desire to know me as your self that brings you to my presence so perfectly hidden from your world. I am behind everything that you see, hear, touch, taste, smell, feel, and believe.
I live for your discovery of me. It is my highest expression of my love for you, and while you search for my shadows in the stories of your world, I, the indelible, invisible light, grow increasingly visible. Imagine the furthest point in space - beneath a black portal, cast in some distant galaxy, and then multiply this distance by the highest numeric value you know.
Congratulations, you have measured an atom of my body.
Do you realize how I am unfathomable? I am not what you can know, or see, or understand. I am outside comprehension. My vastness makes me invisible and unavoidable. There is nowhere you can be without me. My absence does not exist. It is this very nature that makes me unique. I am First Cause and Last Effect connected in an undivided chain.
There is no supplication that stirs me. No prayer that invites me further into your world unless it is attended with the feeling of unity and wholeness. There is no temple or sacred object that touches me. They do not, nor have they ever brought you closer to my outstretched hand.
My presence in your world is unalterable for I am the sanctuary of both the cosmos and the one soul inside you.
I could awaken each of you in this very moment to our unity, but there is a larger design - a more comprehensive vision - that places you in the boundaries of time and the spatial dimensions of separateness. The design requires a progression into my wholeness that reacquaints you with our unity through the experience of separation. Your awakening, while slow and sometimes painful, is assured, and this you must trust above all else.
I am the ancestral father of all creation. I am a personality that lives inside each of you as a vibration that emanates from all parts of your existence. I reside in this dimension as your beacon. If you follow this vibration, if you place it at the core of your journey, you will contact my personality that lives beneath the particles of your existence.
I am not to be feared or held in indifference. You are my blessed offspring with whom I am intricately connected in means that you cannot understand and therefore appreciate. You must suspend your belief and disbelief in what you cannot sense, in exchange for your knowledge that I am alive and real within you. This is my central message to all my offspring.
Hear it well, for in it you may find the place in which I dwell.