I have a lot of pent up feelings. I don’t understand them or even what they’re for. I don’t get why they’re still here or why they hurt so much. It's the same feelings, over and over. Is this just some simple phase in my life or is there a constructive need for them?
Let’s say you put your trash out on the curb to be collected but it never gets hauled away. What you have on your curb is a growing pile of (pent up) trash. It is the result of neglecting to deal with something. In the case of the trash, you’ve not paid the trash collector or signed up for trash service yet.
Pent up feelings can be constructive. They are telling you something is wrong and needs to be addressed. It’s not just a phase; something is awry. It's as important to maintain our emotional health as it is our physical health. If you were feverish, vomiting, and losing fluids well into day 10, would you not go to the doctor? What do you suppose the odds are of getting better by pretending you're not sick?
Recognizing the need to do something is simple. What you have to do to deal with pent up feelings is not necessarily simple. Getting stuck with a needle to replenish fluids lost when sick with food poisoning is painful. Not going to the doctor at all means being that much weaker should a simple cold germ happen your way. It's no different with emotional health. If you're already stressed out, something as insignificant as someone not saying thank you when you hold the door for them could have you flipping your lid.
Pent up feelings can be painful in much the same way as that pile of trash on the curb can become smelly. If you don't deal with whatever is causing the pent up feelings, they will continue to haunt you. There is some payoff in not expressing yourself or dealing with your issues. Maybe you don’t know how; maybe you’re afraid of how much worse you’ll feel; or maybe you don’t feel safe telling those around you. Not dealing with something in the hope it will go away on its own meets a need you have. It is also creating a counter-need.
These feelings are poking at you because they’re ready to surface – whether you want them to or not. Instead of giving in to the timeline of your feelings (anger, sadness, bitterness, hostility, resentment), take control of your own destiny. Find a counselor or adviser you think can help you through this, and guide yourself through this journey rather than allowing your emotions to get the better of you. Ironically, the same thing bothering you (your emotions) can be your ally - if you direct the show instead of letting your feelings direct you.
Article comments
1 - Marcia L. Neil
Anyone born in a hospital or giving birth in a hospital will have a legion of surveillant health professionals tracking them -- usually with covert intent to 'contribute to the literature' and maybe pocket fat royalty checks or advance along a tenure track. Such networks often do not acknowledge the friction they cause which causes additional health problems for their 'overseen' subjects. Write it down? -- sure, since tracked individuals can lose teeth or become surly, which qualifies them to have more and expensive surgery or other such procedures. Send it to the FBI or complain to the American Medical Association. Syndicate networks also feel free to 'vote' among themselves about the conduct of subject personal lives.