I feel extreme emotions. I am very positive or very negative, very happy or very sad. I’ve always felt this way. My relationship is a confusing situation. My fights are like, “Go to hell, I hate you,” and the next moment, “I love you.” My conversations are filled with these extreme emotions. I am not able to work things out. I fear rejection and abandonment all the time. If my boyfriend doesn’t take my calls, I get angry and I’m sure he doesn’t want me. I feel out of control. What can I do? Is this BPD?
If you want to know for sure whether or not you have Bipolar Disorder (also known as Manic-Depressive Illness), see your doctor or local clinic. It doesn’t sound like this is the case with you because bipolar episodes last considerably longer than an argument.
Of greater concern is your fear of rejection and abandonment, so it's time to get to the bottom of that. You're mad at the very person you fear losing because they have all the control over whether or not they stay. If they leave, this reinforces your fears of being unworthy and unlovable. This in turn provokes your sadness.
This is crucial, but it isn't the crux of the problem. The bottom line here is that you’re allowing others to define you. If this is how you were raised (to ignore and not trust your own judgment), you’re likely going to look to others to tell you if you’re worthy or not, and loveable or not.
It sounds like you're reading way more into what others say and do than is deserved. You’re giving their words more weight than your own, specifically using their words and behaviors to determine your own worth.
Others do not define us, we do. It is most unfortunate when we define ourselves as someone who can only believe what others say about us and ignore any good we say about ourselves. It’s time for a new definition because this one is clearly not working for you.