It is little more than an irresistible newspaper story at the moment, but The Guardian, and just about every other media outlet on earth, is reporting that Heidi Fleiss, the "former Hollywood madam", is planning to open a brothel with male sexworkers catering to female customers in the Nevada desert. Conservative newspaper editors will be lining up their "the world is going to hell" editorials now.
Even those who find the idea intriguing shouldn't get too excited - a lot of things get announced in newspapers that never happen - but nevertheless it does provoke some interesting questions about the relationship between the sexes.
I think the general attitude towards sex work is part of the hangover of millennia in which enormous emphasis was put women's faithfulness - however that was so defined (sometimes "close friendships" with women didn't matter; sometimes it did) - that so much stress is put on "SEX" as something different to other aspects of life.
Why should it be perfectly acceptable for someone to have, or give, say, a deep tissue massage, in which the masseur or masseuse will use many parts of their body in close contact with their client, but as soon as anything becomes defined as "sexual" there's a moral horror? (Indeed, as Bill Clinton's impeachment case found, there's by no means any clear definition of "sex".")
Of course the reality of sex work, for women, and men, at the moment is that it is often the last resort of the addicted, the disadvantaged, the trafficked, or those otherwise forced into it by circumstances. That sort of sex work is clearly unacceptable, as I've written elsewhere.
But what if it is a genuine job choice, gone into with open eyes and full understanding, and practiced in a safe way (in all senses)? (As presumably could apply in this case.) Why should society have any objection to this?
And what if using such services is regarded, in appropriate circumstances (i.e. not involving unfaithfulness to a partner), as just something that satisfies a bodily need. If someone at this point in their life doesn't want a relationship, but does want sex, why not just openly acknowledge this and make appropriate arrangements?
What's wrong with that?
Article comments
1 - Heija
The only real problem is that most decent looking sisters don't need to pay for it 'cause they can get it any time they want it for free and that's after dinner and drinks.
2 - Dave Nalle
Is that where Tom Sizemore is going to work when he's no longer bondable as an actor?
Dave
3 - Natalie Bennett
But Heija they are _paying_ - with their time and effort, in getting dressed up, making pleasant conversation etc - and there's no guarantee about the quality of the service in return for that payment.
4 - Maurice
Great answer Natalie. Too many guys are not willing to spend the time required to fully satisfy their women. To quote Richard Pryor:
"if your women wants to talk after sex, you f**ked up!"
This (male brothel) seems like a great idea.
5 - Lisa Hoover
I've long been a proponent of legalizing prostitution throughout the US for just the reasons you've mentioned. And a brothel designed to accomodate women? All I can say about that is:
Yes...yes...yessss....Oh....ohhhh...OH! YES! YES!!!!!!!!!
Excuse me for a bit while I go smoke.
6 - elsa
Nothing wrong with it. In fact, I will be a customer if my access to free sex ever shrivals up. ;-)
7 - Alisha Karabinus
Shrivels literally? ;)
I think this is great! It's about time we saw some equality in this woefully overlooked section of society. BRING ON THE MAN WHORES.
8 - Natalie Bennett
If you'd like to hear more discussion on this subject, there's a 10 or so minute slot on the BBC World Service's World Have Your Say programme this evening, about 20 minutes into the hour-long show, which is available to listen to from that site. And yes, you'll hear me talking about it then.
9 - Justin La Plante
The first problem with this concept is that Heidi is planning to open it in America. A woman being interviewed for a documentary about this said it best:
“What woman wouldn’t rather use their extra $250.00 at the local wal mart than on this?!”
It would be more likely that any such brothel would get more business from female customers seeking female companionship.
In any case, as this is the world’s oldest profession, we would have seen more of these types of businesses flourishing if they had a true market comparable to the sex industry that services males.
Heidi Fleiss is a perfect example of those poor American business practices that have lead the States into economic ruin. She will best be remembered alongside George W. Bush for this.
American laws in most southern and western states are sexually biased against the sex entertainment industry as it would be meant to service women legally. Chip N Dale’s shows are often mandated to not allow the male dancers to thrust sexually, remove all clothing or make any sort of contact with the women customers.
This idea might fare better in Amsterdam, England or Spain.
10 - Andy Marsh
Why would a woman need a brothel. I mean, come on, even if you're not the best looking lady in the world just head to a navy base and hang out in the club, some sailor will take care of you, promise!
And of course, there has to be some asshole that compares this to the presidency, somehow...
...some of you people really, really need to get a life! You forget [personal attack deleted], she was pretty well off until the govt got involved in her business, it had nothing to do with her business practices other than the fact that her business was illegal in the states she decided to run it.
[personal attack deleted]
11 - Douglas Mays
Well, conceptually, sure thing, a brothel for women should be no question. Sure thing.
BUT the problem is the prostitution in itself. Male or female. People say it is just sex. That tells me a lot about the person saying it. Sex is really deep stuff. There is a very good reason that rape is a viscous crime, for example.
Let me put it this way. Have sex (any sort of sensual contact)with someone is a bell you cannot unring. Personally, I am one who does not SELL OUT. If one is a sell out, I really cannot say much about the depth of their personality.
Sex, one is loading oneself down with human energies that are not theirs. A lot of bells are ringing in the head of a whore, sex addict, etc. There is a reason for Sexaholics Anonymous.
In general, it is not just sex. Sex is deep shit not to be passed off lightly.
Some might understand what I am saying. If you have too many bells going off in your head, it may be hard to hear and listen...
best,
DM
12 - Douglas Mays
Also, in regards to comment #1 by Heija (and Natalie's #3). "sitsers don't need to pay", "tme and effort".
OK, you know what it really comes down to? Who is the whore? Want to act cute and drss up to get dinner and laid? I guess that make you the whore, still...
Just like a crack whore, use sensual come on's to get your hit. You end up basically being raped and just get crums thrown to ya.
Wanna get fucked? Yer gonna get fucked....
get it?
DM
13 - Douglas Mays
And to take things one step further, say one goes visits a prostitute for sake of sex. Nothing else. Getting your rocks off.
Psychologically and spiritually, that is still rape. You have the rapist in the mentality of the John and you have a prostitute that is basically raping herself.
It is a sick sad world. The damage of humanity...
do better,
DM
14 - raisul musafir
I want to be a male prostitute.
15 - Silas Kain
Need training? Go to Washington. There are plenty in Congress.
16 - Cindy
lmao Silas!
Hopefully raisul is gay. If he wants female customers, he'll probably go hungry a lot of nights. I was recently reading about a brothel in NV that tried a male prostitute. He left because of lack of business. Well, what I always say is, why pay for bull when you can get a cow for free...or something like that. ;-)
17 - Silas Kain
That's why women should rule the world. They invest their money wisely. Long live Azna.