I tell her all about the drunken dentistry, all about the sorry state of a man's yap ever since, and then all sortsa awkwardness, since it's not like I was thinking any thoughts that would mean she would give a shit one way or the other, (and it's not like she didn't know that I was thinking those thoughts that I wasn't thinking), so why am I even bothering to tell her?
I dunno.
"Because you don't want me to run away screaming" is her suggestion, and it fits, so we'll go with it.
And Sir Fleming's saying "Is that them?" and I choke for a second with the force of the breath racin back towards the gullet, but no, it's not. A couple folks stood watching the flame-eaters, is all, these buskers who got fed up playing Wonderwall all day so set about shoving blazin sticks down the maw instead.
Fling a couple quid, he just roasted his throat out.
And I'm saying "Is that them?", but no, just a group a ladies smokin blow outside a Chinese restaurant.
And I'm telling myself over and over… Expect Nothing. She has no notions, and for sure, she knows of your notions, but who the fuck doesn't?
On account of I'd known her a fortnight before I wrote her a ten-track net-record, or rather, she gave me a ten-track net record, since there wouldn't a been two off-key notes to string together if not for the eyes and the smile and the words.
On account of the reams of references to her that sneaked into every paragraph of every review and every article what fell out my fingers.
On account of making a note in a blog entry about "I think what I thought was nothing more than a harmless obsession is careering blindly towards the L word", and then she's asking me, who is it? I'm nosey.
And The Duke all shy, ah, s'no-one, doesn't matter, nothing I can do about it.
And then a message on the phone… "By the way, I know who it is."
Flick-flung fuck, all these maniacal gabbering voices in the head when a man's trying to stay focused, trying to make sure that I look presentable whilst doing my damndest to ensure that I also look like I don't care.
I got this blue velvet jacket thing on, picked up in a store run by a fella got high one night in 1978 and spent the next twenty years telling everyone how out of it he was, and for sure, it looked good at the time, back there in the hotel, but now I'm thinking no, even if this were the only jacket this side a Alaska, still I shouldn't have flung the fuckin thing cross my back.
Article comments
1 - Mat Brewster
I was going to quote my favorite line and say you're brilliant, Duke. But then there were so many I couldn't pick one. So I'll just say, that was beautiful man. Really.
2 - Bennett
..............
That's what speechless looks like.
Thanks Duke.
3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Mat and Bennett, thank you. it means a bunch to know folks dig this ongoin thing, i say that every time, but its the damn truth of the situation. with this instalment i was convinced no-one would know what the hell was goin on. it appears i was wrong, since you fine fellas worked it out, an thats enough to send a fella to bed with a smile on the yap.
thank you.
4 - Bennett
Yaw. Twas a masterful intro, beyond belief. I'm really in awe at all of it. Signed copies of your first book is what I'm getting at. I'll ebay 'em when I need to retire.
More please.
5 - Mat Brewster
Twas danged fine writing at that. It also brings a twing at the remembrance at the pain you go through, being the single lad you are. I remember too many nights fretting over some pretty lass who might've smiled at me three mornings before.
6 - Aaron Fleming (The infamous Sir)
Blue velvet jacket! The legendary smock of righteousness. I wanna witness that being worn more often now, cafe sits, all major events. I'm sure it'd bring a certain kind of magic to all proceedings.
7 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Sir Fleming! here in the giddy climes of Blogcritics!
no, i can't get behind the wearin of the jacket at anythin other than maybe public executions. or jandek performances.
8 - DJRadiohead
A universal fucking sentiment that might not have ever been expressed better.
9 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
DJ, thank you! ah, we all know the horrors a that kinda situation. sadly. pathetically.
10 - DJRadiohead
And so now I am feeling greedy... will there be more installments?
11 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
DJ, sorry, i been away for a few days. yeah, there is an end to the tale, but i ain't got a chance to pen it yet. but it's comin, hell yeah.
12 - Sinéad
heh - you're my own personal diary, except its what was seen through your eyes, i need to hear the next account coz thats where i slowly but surely began to get wasted!!
13 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
sweet moses! Sinéad! i feel all blush-filled. well, least yeah, proves at least i didn't make you up for the purposes of an excessive ramblin narrative.
an i'm half way through part 6. and you weren't THAT wasted. nothin that wouldn't a been outta place in, say, some Tsarist opium-den back in the day.
14 - Sinéad
actually i am made up - i'm like that stupid fookin' dinosaur - the more you believe, the more power i get - i can now type, weeeeeeeeeeeee!!
hurry up with part six ya lazy cunt - i need to know what happens - or be reminded at least........and myself and annas moment better be told in the most tasteful way
15 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh, it'll be all the tasteful in the world. i wasn't gonna mention it, at least not with names, but you've gone an ensured that no, it's GOTTA have names.
an to the editors, "ya lazy cunt" is not a personal attack in this instance.
16 - Sinéad
is too a personal attack!!but you're well used to my foul mouth at this stage - you bring out the choicest of words from my vocab Dukey
COME ON NUMBER 6 ALREADY!
17 - DJRadiohead
COME ON NUMBER 6 ALREADY!
Ditto that. I only wish I were an Irishman so that I, too, could call you a lazy cunt. But I am an American which means I can't use that word. I am jealous.
18 - Sinéad
there are plenty of other things you can call him like a lazy fucker or a big fruit which is one of my personal favourites
or if you dont wanna type the whole word cunt there are ways around it like calling him a CUN fuckin' T
capital C capital U capital N capital fuckin' T
take your pick