"No one wants to suck a fella's been singin bout Nazi Punks Fuck Off."
Least that's what I used to think of, back in the naivety of the pre-Savage Purple existence, back when Phil Lynott was the fella on the cover of Bad Reputation. Now what he is, is the fella who was standin beside Sinéad and Anna on the night of August 20th, the fella fading into the brick and the paving just the same as everyone else in the wake a that smile, that 'lectric glow tearing the bindings of Dublin asunder.
Heading down to meet these folks, Sir Fleming's telling me all bout how there's no need to worry, the worst thing that can happen is she'll say you make her sick to the back a the brains, and so what, you'll get at least fifty songs outta that second alone.
It would be wrong to assume that I expected anything of a romantic sort, or even the casual, soul-destroying sort, to arise from the meeting. It would cost more litigation than a man could afford to assume that I imagined Sinéad might see sense, might realize that no, gorgeous as she is, drenched in that aura, that she might say sod it, I don't care that anyone with half an eye to see or ear to hear would gladly tear their tongues out should I ask, what I'll do is I'll head for the sorta short-arse fucker with the busted yap an the songs bout "My Baby Done Me Bad, and also, I Been Thinkin All Sortsa Thoughts Bout This Lass Right Here With The Smile And The Eyes And The Words Fit To Scar Me"
So no.
And thinking bout her stood there by yonder statue, what I get in my head is the image of a mermaid, cept some sort of freak mermaid that ended up with human underparts as well as upperparts, meaning she would be accepted as One Of Us by the human types, gobble gobble, but her merfolk kin don't know how to deal with her at all.
What she's doing is she's sat on the rocks out there in the sea of Spring 2005, what she's doing is she's smoking a Marlboro Red and singing a song about God and poetry.
What I'm doing is I'm saying no, no good can come from this, steer the boat some other direction, someplace away from the eyes and the song and the smile, you saw those rocks, fuck my eyes they'll pierce my every gut.
Article comments
1 - Mat Brewster
I was going to quote my favorite line and say you're brilliant, Duke. But then there were so many I couldn't pick one. So I'll just say, that was beautiful man. Really.
2 - Bennett
..............
That's what speechless looks like.
Thanks Duke.
3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Mat and Bennett, thank you. it means a bunch to know folks dig this ongoin thing, i say that every time, but its the damn truth of the situation. with this instalment i was convinced no-one would know what the hell was goin on. it appears i was wrong, since you fine fellas worked it out, an thats enough to send a fella to bed with a smile on the yap.
thank you.
4 - Bennett
Yaw. Twas a masterful intro, beyond belief. I'm really in awe at all of it. Signed copies of your first book is what I'm getting at. I'll ebay 'em when I need to retire.
More please.
5 - Mat Brewster
Twas danged fine writing at that. It also brings a twing at the remembrance at the pain you go through, being the single lad you are. I remember too many nights fretting over some pretty lass who might've smiled at me three mornings before.
6 - Aaron Fleming (The infamous Sir)
Blue velvet jacket! The legendary smock of righteousness. I wanna witness that being worn more often now, cafe sits, all major events. I'm sure it'd bring a certain kind of magic to all proceedings.
7 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Sir Fleming! here in the giddy climes of Blogcritics!
no, i can't get behind the wearin of the jacket at anythin other than maybe public executions. or jandek performances.
8 - DJRadiohead
A universal fucking sentiment that might not have ever been expressed better.
9 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
DJ, thank you! ah, we all know the horrors a that kinda situation. sadly. pathetically.
10 - DJRadiohead
And so now I am feeling greedy... will there be more installments?
11 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
DJ, sorry, i been away for a few days. yeah, there is an end to the tale, but i ain't got a chance to pen it yet. but it's comin, hell yeah.
12 - Sinéad
heh - you're my own personal diary, except its what was seen through your eyes, i need to hear the next account coz thats where i slowly but surely began to get wasted!!
13 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
sweet moses! Sinéad! i feel all blush-filled. well, least yeah, proves at least i didn't make you up for the purposes of an excessive ramblin narrative.
an i'm half way through part 6. and you weren't THAT wasted. nothin that wouldn't a been outta place in, say, some Tsarist opium-den back in the day.
14 - Sinéad
actually i am made up - i'm like that stupid fookin' dinosaur - the more you believe, the more power i get - i can now type, weeeeeeeeeeeee!!
hurry up with part six ya lazy cunt - i need to know what happens - or be reminded at least........and myself and annas moment better be told in the most tasteful way
15 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh, it'll be all the tasteful in the world. i wasn't gonna mention it, at least not with names, but you've gone an ensured that no, it's GOTTA have names.
an to the editors, "ya lazy cunt" is not a personal attack in this instance.
16 - Sinéad
is too a personal attack!!but you're well used to my foul mouth at this stage - you bring out the choicest of words from my vocab Dukey
COME ON NUMBER 6 ALREADY!
17 - DJRadiohead
COME ON NUMBER 6 ALREADY!
Ditto that. I only wish I were an Irishman so that I, too, could call you a lazy cunt. But I am an American which means I can't use that word. I am jealous.
18 - Sinéad
there are plenty of other things you can call him like a lazy fucker or a big fruit which is one of my personal favourites
or if you dont wanna type the whole word cunt there are ways around it like calling him a CUN fuckin' T
capital C capital U capital N capital fuckin' T
take your pick