"An Annoying Digression…"
Sometime before receiving Sinéad's text message all about "Yeah, come on down to the Phil Lynott statue, we're in dire need of a liver-full a Jägermeister", sometime before I had to go stand in the hotel bathroom for forty-seven minutes deciding what the fuck I could do to make the posture all the more filthually enticing, sometime earlier, myself and Sir Fleming in a pub someplace on Dame Street.
Staring cross at the bar-maid, bad sweats cross my brow, eyes red as the creases in a donkey's arsehole, I'm asking for the usual.
"Pint a Diet Coke an a couple Red Bull's, please".
On account of I don't do the alcohol no more, see.
On account of a couple hours without caffeine results in all sortsa horrifyin shit. Body starts making kinda noises you can hear if you play Blue Train backwards at half the speed. Heart slows to a zombie rasp. Tongue starts clackin hind the teeth. Freaky voodoo shit, no good to no-one.
Sir Fleming's stood over by the video jukebox, scanning through the reams of techno and trance and skate-punk in pursuit of maybe some Miles Davis, maybe Bitches Brew, something gritty and raw and dangerous, something fit for to compliment the anxiety and paranoia hanging in the air.
The night before, exhausted from all the lust and longing and popper-fumes, I had a dream all about I find Miles Davis sat by the sculpture at the gate of St Stephen's Green, he's playing Will O' The Wisp on a turkey carcass, blowin up the hole, stretching the neck out this way an that.
I ask him if he knows The Cactus Where Your Heart Should Be by The Magnetic Fields, he just spits, says all about "Baby fuck you, baby, imma play what imma play, baby, fuck."
He does Bite It You Scum by GG Allin instead.
The lass comes back with the drinks, I say all about thank you, and then, is there anywhere in the bar where it's ok to smoke?
"Sorry?"
She's leaning over, straining to hear, someone's put Killing In The Name on the jukebox thing, Tom Morello carvin chunks out the walls.
"Is there a smoking area? Y'know, for to smoke?"
Article comments
1 - Bennett
Ohhhhh man! Guitar strings? Love the line about your buddie's punch!
Hell, I yanked my braces out with pliers and wire cutters when I hit 18 because it didn't seem like nothing but mouth torture.
Then smacked out the two front ones anyway on a glass door that didn't open outwards. Caps my man. Caps!
The tale grunges on. I presume we'll hear about Sinead at some point. Looking forward to whatever happens.
Thanks Duke.
2 - Greg Smyth
McMullan, you're a bloody tease! Top notch, though.
3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Bennett an Greg, thank you!
Bennett, part five should, if all goes to plan, ie, what im thinkin right now with not quite enough caffeine in the system yet, begin to cover those particular bases. i felt all the dentistry stuff was important for to illustrate the array of anxieties runnin rampant.
Greg, thank you, as ever. an apologies for the tease. heh, i couldn't resist...
4 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
ha! a good, wise friend just pointed out the similarities between the teeth scene up yonder an the similar "punch me" scene in Fight Club.
alas, my version weren't fictional. how i wish it were...
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
just a note to say Part Five's up, if anyone's at all curious. thanks folks.