These folks here, though, these are obviously your Van Morrison types, the Dylan's circa-66, geniuses twisted rotten by the weight of their own brilliance. They detest every customer, but ain't one of those fuckers leaves unsatisfied.
Mind reels back to December 1999, wandering this self same city, ending up in a similar KFC, just turned 18 and in the midst of a three-day blackout, just the occasional glimmer of a Zinger Tower Meal here, or the cardboard advert for a Socialist Party meeting that I took down from a lamp-post as a souvenir.
2001, browsing through the record store cross the road from the hotel, searching for the first Clash record as a Sorry Present for my then-fiancée, on account of I got bladdered the night before and ended up ordering 24 hours worth of Cable Porn that I had no intention of ever watching, just cause why not, it's what you do in hotels, you watch other folks screwin.
Shit, what's this, a guilt pang? Now, four years later, a slap in the back of the brain says "Yeah, you were a cunt sometimes", and this is true, but also, only when I was drunk. Which I ain't been in two years, and yet myself and Sir Fleming sat in a bar by the name of Major Tom's, and I'm seventeen times as disoriented and frenzied as I was back then, back when I was trying to shut a fella up stood outside the Olympia Theater, fresh out a knuckle-bustingly brilliant performance by Shane MacGowan & The Popes, and here's this fella stood shouting loyalist diatribes at a buncha natives cross the way got a tricolour round the necks.
For fucks sakes, man, you're not in County Antrim no more, I'm in no mood for a blade in the fuck on account of your piss-soaked gnashing.
No need to worry about anything of the sort here and now in 2005, Sir Fleming gone to grab a pint, me trembling in the corner with a Red Bull in one fist and a mobile phone in the other.
"We'll be there around 11 or so" it says.
What it all concerned was that a friend of The Duke's, a lass by the name of Sinéad, happened to live in Dublin, and since we'd only bantered over phones an net connections it seemed like the most sensible thing in the world to meet up, head out someplace throbbin with industrial grindcore mania, someplace where nobody ever knows your name because most likely they don't even know their own names, most likely they're in the corner getting a quick one off the wrist and blinkin amphetamine dust out the eyes.






Article comments
1 - Bennett
Damn, there's a lot of posts hitting the BC board today, almost missed this. Thankfully my eagle eyes noted, and then remembered to follow up a few hours later when the day was winding down.
Still has a lot of momentum going right here. Very enjoyable story, you've got me tuned in, and waiting for the next installment.
Thank god BC publishes every day...
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
thank you Bennett!
i'm actually startin to get rather worried about this epic, on account of i think i'm in real danger of the kinda self-indulgence here that isn't "hilarious" or "endearing" in any way, but is in fact so far up my own arse it's bitin chunks out my tongue.
in somethin of a mental dilemma, i am.
i think previously HPW's saga was as self-indulgent as i got for any length of time outside of the journal entry things which go no further than a tiny corner of mondo irlando. this, i dunno. it's an awful lotta nothin, i fear.
3 - Bennett
Naw, stop worrying! Keep looking in the dark dank corners as you dance around the main thrust, all will be well. It's not self indulgent, it's a history lesson, a tale of grim city while struggling to maintain the Dr Jeckel of The Duke...
More please.
KFC, some of my best pukin as a child was in their honor.
Scares the hell out of me now.
I'm looking forward to whatever comes next.
4 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
you're encouragement is much, much appreciated, good sir. i thought part four would've appeared tonight, but no, turns out it's gonna be another day or so, on account of i think i might actually got to bed tonight. three hours a night will only get a man by for so long before the head starts singin delirious in all the wrong keys.
5 - Eric Berlin
Duke -- As I saw this morning on an ep of Six Feet Under... "you can't be afraid to fail."
Which you're certainly not in any way. I applaud the ventures into new arenas. Life-critic-ing, or something.
Haven't read Part III as yet, will soon.
6 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Eric, thank you man. you help clear a man's head more than a fella this foul-mouthed could articulate at this hour.
7 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
for the benefit of anyone keeping track of this epic, it would seem that Part Four will be appearing later in the weekend, and not tonight as i had expected. thanks folks.
8 - Greg Smyth
Just caught parts 2 and 3 and have to say I'm enjoying this loads. The whole flashbacks to before, the angst and your usual brilliant grasp of the vernacular. Looking forward to part four.
And I gotta say, I wasn't kidding before, this has the potential to be something pretty special.
9 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Greg, thank you, man. i can't tell you how relieved a fella is that folks seemed to be on the same wavelength with regards the back an forth nature of it all.
part 4 is in the works...
10 - Mat Brewster
Ah Duke, a cliffhanger. I was all casually enjoying the madness of the first two episodes and still being able to enjoy my life in between. Now I sit refreshing the blogcritics main page in hopes that part IV will be up and I can see how this tale ends.
Please, dear gawd, make The Duke finnish this tale so I might find a life again.
11 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heh, thank you mat, and my apologies for the cliffhanger. part four will arrive later in the eve, i'd wager.
12 - Bryan McKay
Fantastic writing as usual, Duke. Looking forward to part four!
13 - gypsyman
Screw how it turns out. it walks, it talks what else could we ask for. Inside and out, what it's not is self stroking and lint picking. Far above that, I'm not into watching or reading solo porn, wouldn't have gone this far if that's what this is.
Question? If Sir Ian's there what's James doing about geting any?
14 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Bryan, thank you! the fourth part should be up now, i'd wager.
gypsyman, thank you also. i supose when a fella's in the midst of it all it's hard to A - keep check on how obscure he's being with the details, and B- keep check on makin things worth readin even though, i think it's fair to say, it's a story with not much in the way of Dramatic Events! there's a few, an the main one of em i still haven't even got to yet, so to know that folks are diggin it regardless, that right there is a fairly damn pleasant sensation.
an with regards James, he's been hangin round my window all night shoutin bout how i better hurry the hell up so as he can get on with the flirtin an the shootin an the spyin.
sorry james.
15 - DJRadiohead
Duke, I love the shit out of this! At the risk of sounding way to gushing I always want to move across the pond after listening to one of your podcasts or reading one of your pieces (particularly these).
16 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
DJ, thank you! if you DO move cross the pond, just be sure an take a notebook or nine with you. amazing how many details get lost amidst the carnage.