A break in the reel, the train-station comes back into focus, and Bob Dylan, he's saying;
"And now as I'm leaving, I'm weary as hell,
The confusion I'm feeling, ain't no tongue can tell"
And I'm battering a text message into the mobile phone, something along the lines of "Our Sinéad, I can't possibly for a second step onto this carriage. I can't possibly leave this place. Mother of fuck, I can't bear to watch this glorious city fade into the industrial monotony of Outer Belfast."
But I did. I suffered that unspeakable horror for five hours, with every mile removed seething with the kinda pain known only to folks who maybe pay for to have a heated blade inserted in the urethra once a fortnight.
And sat trying to make sense of it all at half four in the AM with Metal Machine Music ripping ragged flesh from out the eardrum-holes, attempting to decipher the reams of notes with a speed-fried Lou Reed undergoing some kind of ECT trauma via the fret-board.
A terrible, terrifying loneliness, the kinda fear a man catches only in the couple seconds before dawn if he's lucky, a crippling sense of loss, all conspiring for to ensure that tonight there ain't gonna be no talk of the Adventure, just a harrowing stroll cross the brain-plains spent picking whispers out the fog of the aftermath.
And the priest, he's sat on the sofa with a pint a vodka in one hand (liberal sprinklings of ground valium floating round the surface, course), and the other pointing at me, that sneer a his starting at the seam of his shirt and ending someplace in the light-bulb overhead.
"Fuck up you insufferable cock", he's spitting. "If I hear another word of this I'll shit myself in two."
Go fuck yourself, is what The Duke counters with. What the fuck do you know? You know nothing! You know nothing of the Italian fella who looked a bit like Ben Stiller, for example, you know nothing bout how Dave Mustaine's sneer hit him like a shota wasp-fuck to the cack-hole. You know nothing bout the way Fringe #6 gave me the kinda look could only mean his head was soaked in delusions of outrageous filth fit only for shaming science.
Article comments
1 - Eric Berlin
Damn, Duke -- I fear you've infected us with your sense of anguish and weary anxiety now... which could only sit upon us until the release of the next part of this tale.
I have no idea what to expect, but I can only imagine the apocalyptic tale of love and loss and madness that awaits.
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
thank you Eric! yeah, that's pretty much what to expect, i'd say. this is the first instalment of i dunno how many. who knows how long the tale will take to spin?
3 - Bennett
Naw Eric, it's gunna have a HAPPY ending...
Thanks for the voyage Duke. My soul got yanked by Phil at the Cow Palace, in '79 I think it was.
Didja ever give the printout to HP Woman?
4 - Eric Berlin
Duke, you torturous bastard!
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
hah, it's my best quality, is my torturousness!
Bennett, the very thought of handing such a rant to HPW is far too insanial for to ever consider for a second. well, i CONSIDER plenty things, but no, no such action could ever be deemed wise or neccesary.
6 - Bennett
Duke - Maybe not wise, certainly not necessary, but we would have loved to hear about it.
;-]
7 - Eric Berlin
As my college buddies used to say...
"Come on, do it for the story!"
8 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
you fellas are gonna have me knee-deep in insufferable torment for the sake of a buncha paragraphs! worse, i think it would be a splendid idea, but no, it would cause HPW to undergo all sortsa embaressment, and no, thats not fair. if it was MY OWN embaressment, i'd be on the motherfucker. the situation, i mean, not HPW.
oh, an credit where it's due, the "ending fitting for the start" line is from Can't Stand Me Now by The Libertines.
9 - Bennett
"it would cause HPW to undergo all sortsa embaressment, "
Only if you worked with her on a daily basis. I would venture to guess that if you walked up to her and said something long the lines of:
"Hey, I don't know you, but I'm a writer/poet of some sort, and you inspired me to write a piece that went and got published on a non-porn website. I hope you enjoy the read, and thanks for the inspiration. You have yourself a really pleasant life."
Hand it to her and stroll away.
Me? I think it would make her entire year
Perhaps bhw, Margarette, Swingingpuss, Lisa, and any other BCer of the fairer persuasion would care to comment?
gotta admit Her Duke, it does make one grin to think about...
10 - Mark Saleski
dang, this reads like Naked Lunch a bit.
well, a bit more coherent tho.
11 - Mark Sahm
Bennett, have you been reading 1001 Ways to Be Romantic again?
12 - Bennett
"Bennett, have you been reading..."
Heh! Naw Mark, but I know a GREAT intro when I see one.
Duke, dressed clean but casual, with that certain savoir faire common to Irish Poets, leaning against a train station pillar whilst thoughtfully penning some deep thoughts, until HPW happens by...
"Uh... 'scuze the all hell outa me lassie..."
Damn, there's a movie in this...
13 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
both Marks, thank you for checkin in! Sir Saleski, i'm gonna take that as a compliment, since Naked Lunch is one of the finest examples of consistentally deranged language i ever did encounter.
Bennett, i dare say the actual event would suffer horribly in comparison to the image you just planted...
14 - Greg Smyth
Tres Burroughs, my friend. Tighten it up a bit and you've got some sort of James Joyce rewrites Naked Lunch novella. Top drawer.
15 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
goodness, sir Smyth, thank you! and i know, this right here is incredibly loose-limbed. for the worse, i'd say. one day in the future i might get it tightened in some sort of manner, but right now i'm up to the teeth in part two, just as freewheelin, with a tiny bit more focus, i think, and less embaressing. slightly.
16 - Eric Berlin
Greg -- You pegged it perfectly. Was gonna go the Joyce route but for fear of Duke et al saying, Great, put me with the Irish Writer, you right bastard (or some such).
Bennett -- Most hilarious use of the word "non-porn" in the history of time!
17 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Eric, more of a "oh dear god, i will never be fit to wipe the steam from off his statue's glasses" type reaction, and a general unease.
but certainly welcome, dear god aye.
and i second the non-porn thing. meant to mention that, actually...
18 - Eric Berlin
You're fit brotha, now get back to typin' !
19 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
ETA for part two - bout five minutes.
20 - Bennett
Duke and Eric - Thanks for the nod. "Non-porn" was right inspired that!
Now on to part two!
21 - gypsyman
someday we will all have the balls to write like Duke.
beautiful
22 - DJRadiohead
I will never have the balls to write like The Duke... I can only hope to curse like him.
We all have goals. That is mine.
I love this, Duke!