10 Reasons You Didn't Get Into College

Here they are:

10. In high school you had a criminal record that involved aiding terrorist organizations.

9. You decided prank calling Residence Life and asking for movie show times in your area was a great idea.

8. Your parents wiped your nose and said “what a good boy/girl” about fifteen times during your visit to the campus in front of important people.

7. You decided sucker punching your tour guide would be a great way to impress people.

6. When asked for your previous academic experience on the application you wrote, “two monkeys in a hot tub.”

5. You kept calling the Dean “Skippy” numerous times during your meeting with him.

4. You spelled college “colege” on your application.

3. You referred to yourself in the third person throughout your admissions essay.

2. You scored a 200 on your SAT and a 2 on your ACT. Those points came from writing your name incorrectly on the test.

And to give David Letterman a reason to sue me, the number 1 reason you did not get into college…

1.You sent your new college president nude photos of yourself to “win them over.”

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Article Author: Brandon J. Mendelson

Brandon J. Mendelson is acolumnist for the Albany Student Press and Blogger for the Albany Times Union. You can follow Brandon's college survival guide at The Graduate Student Survival Guide

Visit Brandon J. Mendelson's author page — Brandon J. Mendelson's Blog