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Crisis! Astrology-based Advice

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emergencyDear Elsa,

I’ll get right to the point. Should I quit my job, or hang on for dear life for a while longer? I’ve known from the start that my current job would only be a stepping stone. It’s been fairly horrible every step of the way.

I know where I want to do next. I will be starting my own business. But the nature of this new venture is such that it can’t happen overnight. That’s fine. The problem is, my current job fucks with my head so bad, I can’t function. I can’t function at work, and I can’t function at home. I’ve managed reasonably well all year, but I am no longer able to.

I want to be in business with someone who will be both my life partner and my business partner. That could mean I start the business and the partner will find me. Or I’ll meet someone who already is in business, and go from there.

Either way, I don’t know what to do. Should I just hang on a bit longer, or just get the hell out of there immediately?

Going Crazy Here

Dear Crazy,

As described, your situation is an emergency, so think “triage”. First you must stop the bleeding. Hemorrhaging is more like it… and it’s self inflicted!

Let’s say there was a drug out there that scrambled your mind and made it impossible for you to function. If you took it, you’d say, “Jeez! This shit completely disables me!” So what would you do? Keep taking it? That makes no sense.

This is what you’re doing by going back and back and back to your job. You say you can’t think while bleeding like this, and I believe you. So stop the bleeding and you can expect things to rapidly clarify. You are the only one who can do this, you know.

Er… or if you want, I’ll do it. Just tell me where to call.

Briiiiing! Briiiiiinnnnnng!

“You know ‘Going Crazy Here’? Well she quits. Bye, now.”



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  • WTF

    As corny as religion. Wait it is a religion, what was I thinking?!?!?!