So, did anyone else watch the Republican Convention’s opening night extravaganza? Yeah, me neither. But I did catch a bit of FOX News’ wrapup show (Motto: “You are getting sleepy, very sleepy…”). A few observations…
Fred Barnes: You know that old saying, “If you squeezed his head, shit would come out”? Fred is a lot like that, except if you squeezed his head, dirty douche water would spurt out from every orifice.
Mort Kondrake: What a sourpuss. Is it just me, or does his scrunched up face make you think someone shoved a very sour pickle very far up his ass?
Greta Van Susteren: Two questions: 1. When did Greta have a stroke? 2. Has anyone told her?
As for the festivities, the big news on the FOX Crawl (Motto: “We Crawl. You Read.”) was that many Republican delegates were sporting custom Band-Aid brand bandages with small Purple Hearts drawn on them. That’s hardly fair. It’s not like the Democrats walked in sporting fake stigmata (Motto: “Owww!”) or wearing beer guzzler helmets (Motto: “As Seen on the President’s Head.”).