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Conflict In Relationship – Venus in Virgo Square Mars in Sagittarius: Astrology-Based Advice

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Dear Elsa,

I would appreciate your advice about my relationship problems. I'm so depressed and lonely, I'm starting to have panic attacks and cry at the drop of a hat. I seem to attract difficult relationships and I tend to stay in them longer than I should, trying to make them work. The last man was angry, jealous, and emotionally controlling but, also passionate and charismatic. He eventually ended the relationship when I started to be less of an "angel" and began to fight back.

When I met my current boyfriend two years ago, he seemed like a breath of fresh air in comparison. We spent lots of time together, talked all the time, and there was lots of passionate sex. Now I experience him as cold and austere. He says he's too busy to see me very often. He rarely phones anymore. There's no affection and he hasn't wanted to have sex for three months now.

He refuses to talk about our problems except to say he doesn't have any desire to have sex and he's not sure why. I seemed to have such clear insight into this man before, but it's like he deliberately blocked me out and now I can't read him at all.

The relationship started to turn sour when I realized he had a tendency to mislead me rather than risk confrontation. This type of covert behavior scares me far more than the previous man's overt anger and I've repeatedly challenged him to have the courage of his convictions! Actually, I've often suggested he should have more balls! I guess this is why he has blocked me out. He doesn't want to be challenged. Whenever I've asked him if he wants to end the relationship he says no, but he also adds that he doesn't know what he wants.

I feel I'm being manipulated yet again, but my current boyfriend's tactics are far more effective than the previous man's. I am an emotional wreck and my confidence and light have gone. I imagine my current transits of Saturn and Pluto are challenging me to look at my relationships and patterns of relating, but I'm finding it difficult to see me at all, let alone objectively.

zodiac scarf hermes virgo leoKind regards,
Depressed and Lonely

Dear Depressed,

I am sorry you’re feeling like crap! I would like to be able to say something sweet to you, but I don’t think it will help, so instead I will be candid.

Let’s just say I’m your man and you decide you don’t like my method. You don’t like the way I operate, so you decide to stand on a chair and scold me.

When I don’t respond to that, when I refuse to fight with your ignorant ass, you call me a dickless wonder and then you wonder why I quit screwing you.

::smiles::

Hmm. Let’s think about this. All is good with your man until you figure out he does not like to be challenged. So what do you do? You challenge him, and you insist he take the challenge. Why? Because you said so! Are you getting the picture here?

This is the astrology:

You have Venus in Virgo. That’s your angel side and that’s your love, but Venus in Virgo finds flaws and wants to fix the lover. When that happens your Mars kicks in. Mars is how you fight. Your Mars (your gun) is in Sagittarius square (cocked and pointed) right at your Venus, and you see the result. You fire your gun at your love and guess what? They die!

Now one more thing. Go back and read your post. In the first relationship, you claim the man was “angry, jealous and emotionally controlling but, also, passionate and charismatic.” That sounds a lot like you in the second relationship. Getting this?

The whole conflict is inside of you. If you detect there is something your lover prefers to avoid, must you shove this very thing down their throat? If so, you can expect a high degree of animosity in all of your relationships.

On the other hand, if you are willing to alter your behavior and fire your gun at something besides your lover’s head, well if you did that, you’d be getting laid right now, you know?

Good luck.

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About Elsa

  • Virgo On My Mind

    Hello,

    I’m needing some advice on a Virgo I have been seeing on and off for 3 years now. At first it was a complete shock to me because I am 7 years older than him (I’m 32 he’s 25) and I am not used to dating younger, usually older. However, he just kept on persuing me and pursuing me. We carried on a long distant relationship talking and texting everyday until he came up here where his family and old friends are. He changed, he went back into teenager mode so I left him alone. After we both go into different relationships and are thrown back into the single scene again, he blocks my car in at church and asks for my number and aggressively pursues me again. He went away for a job for around 2 years and came back. This 3rd time around he contacts me on facebook and starts texting calling everyday. A few weeks pass where he doesn’t and boom he calls me and asks if he can come stay with me until he gets his knew place. He was staying with his parents when he moved back until he secured his own housing again. I was shocked that he’d want to be in that situation with me. But, I was excited cuz he said “at least I’d get to see you everyday.” I said yes. So he stays with me for less than a week, I believe because he was trying to avoid conflict. Anyway, the first couple of nights were great we did our own thing one night, the others we naturally planned around eachother’s schedule and went out with friends. We were having a great time! We made passionate love a couple of times and he kissed me all over my body. However, we also stayed up all night just talking one night too! The last night he stayed he says he is going to have dinner with his family because his Grandma is here from over seas. He says he probably come right back to my place because he doesn’t have a lot of money to spend. That night he doesn’t come back at all! I text at 10 o’clock just out of curiosity to see what he is doing. He said he was out with co-workers talking. I left it open and said I wasn’t doing anything so if he wanted he could invite them over to hang out for a while and have a couple drinks. He said, 0.k. he was planning on coming over in a little bit anyway and would ask his friends what they wanted to do. So, 11 o’clock roles around I asked what they were going to do?” No answer. The next morning he calls and says what’s up? And that he was on his way to my place. I tell him we need to talk. He says his phone is dying and never comes by after I said that. The next day he calls in a very nice tone “Hey, I’m gonna come by and drop your key off, and then we can talk.” He comes by, I happened to be going leaving apartment to get something outside at the same time. He says “WHERE A-R-E- you going?!” Oh no where I explained. I just had to grab something from my garage. With a skower still stuck to his forhead, he continues to stomp towards me. We go outside for a minute and he says he wants to give me my key back and get his things. He comes back out and thanks me for everything, but still looking angry. I want to tell him how I feel about him, but didn’t feel the timing was right with the situation pending and how he angered me. Regardless of where the relationship goes, I just want to make it clear to him that “he can be open with me” as long as he can just tell me something and not try to avoid hurting me by hiding it “we’re cool.” This was 3 days ago What do I do?