Stop what you are doing. Get in your car. If you’re already in your car you don’t have to stop what you are doing. You may remain in your car.
Drive to your nearest music retailer. Buy Guster’s Keep it Together and Ganging Up on the Sun. If they do not have these CDs at your retailer, throw a brick through their window and race to a computer and order these CDs. Then, go to iTunes and download the following songs:
You might be asking yourself why you are paying to download these songs from iTunes when you just ordered the CDs (assuming your music retailer now has a brick where their window used to be). There is a very good answer for this. You must not allow one more day of your life to pass without hearing these songs! Then, the albums will arrive and you can enjoy the many other wonderful songs on these wonderful albums.
I understand I am being awfully free with your hard-earned money. If you have never believed a word I have said, believe me now. These records will make your schlong (or your rack if you are sans schlong) bigger. These records will make your ass tighter and your stomach smaller. These songs will achieve peace in our lifetime and feed the hungry. You will be a better person by 221%! I can prove it. I wrote an article in the June issue of Scientific Proof Magazine. I would not steer you wrong. The birds will sing. The children will dance. You must do this, and do it now.
So you still need convincing? Just know, while you are stalling, the bits you want larger could be larger and the regions you want shrunk could already be smaller had you just listened to me. Two or three kids starved while you resisted. But, if convincing is needed, allow me to provide the persuasion.
What makes these songs terrific? I discussed the Ganging Up on the Sun songs with Sir Saleski in our collaborated Fanboy piece. If you have already read that, you should already own Ganging Up on the Sun. If you have not done so, there will be a refresher course. For now, let’s start with the pair from Keep it Together.
“Jesus on the Radio” – This one is easy is to love. It’s only two minutes. The banjo and acoustic guitar rollick. The melody is wonderful, but is the brilliant harmonies that force you to put this song on repeat, repeat, repeat. It’s the simplest recipe but it makes the finest damn song your ears will hear all day. You don’t have to work at it. It’s pleasing to the ears.
The lyrics, well, I admit there is nothing spectacular about them. The phrase “Jesus on the radio” is sung one time but not really connected to anything. They could have said “Martin on the radio” or “Junior on the radio” or any other two syllable name. The lyrics are not nonsense, they just don’t matter. Why don’t they matter? Did I mention the wonderful melody and the brilliant harmonies?
In the time it took you to read this you should have been able to listen to the full song. Do you feel that twitch in your finger? You know, the one that wants to press/click repeat? Get used to it. You might need to sue Guster for giving you carpal tunnel syndrome. This and many of their other songs will cause this same uncontrollable urge.
“Amsterdam” – Apparently this one was something of a hit on alternative/college radio. Huntsville does not have a decent alternative/college radio station. We used to get an okay one out of Birmingham and a pretty good one out of Nashville, but not anymore. So I had never heard this song until I bought the CD. Fuckin’ Huntsville.
“Amsterdam” relies a little less on harmony than “Jesus on the Radio” but is no less catchy. There are little harmonic flourishes but this song is built more around music than voice. The chorus, though — what a wondrous thing it is and what a lost art it is becoming.