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Co-dependence: Fixed Signs vs Mutables vs Cardinals

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Hi Elsa:

I’ve noticed that in relationships, I tend to be happy to adapt to the other person a lot…. friendship, family, romance, whatever. They adapt too, of course, because every relationship has some level of compromise. But I’m perfectly happy with learning the other person and then working with that, and who they are… rather than trying to make them fit ME.

So the question is — is this such a bad thing? Are there some combinations in astrology that just make people more prone to do this sort of thing than others? And is it alright, or does it mean we let ourselves get walked on?

Take Care,
Curious Reader

tidesoapDear Curious,

Yes some people are more prone to this than others, for various reasons.

The Mutable signs morph! Gemini can talk to whomever, Sadge goes native fast. Virgo can serve anyone, anywhere, and Pisces surrounds others, like water surrounds solid – it makes no difference the shape of the object.

Compare to the Cardinal signs, (Aries, Libra, Cancer, Capricorn) who automatically control / boss others, or the Fixed signs, (everyone else) where it’s their way or the highway!

But none of these are preferable over the other. People need each other. For example, I’m highly Mutable and I’ve spent my life partnered with Fixed signs as a way to be anchored.

They just keep eating those Cheerios every day for breakfast. Every single day of their life. Or it’s their vanilla ice cream, or the fact they wash their clothes in Tide and nothing but Tide. This is stabilizing to a person like me, whose primary objective is to try everything.

  • Tide with Downey
  • Tide with Wonderful Bleach
  • Tide with Bleach Alternative
  • Tide Spring Scent
  • Tide Cool Breeze
  • Cool Water Tide
  • Tide – Episode 2

My main thing, if I’m going to buy Tide, is that it be the *new Tide, the different, *Tide. So who is right?

Maybe I learn something about the value of continuity from my Fixed partner. About getting what you expect, while they are introduced to the joys of variety via dealing with me.

So that’s one explanation, but there’s another. It could be pure co-dependence. For people with a lot of Libra in the chart, or people with a lot of planets in the seventh house, this is always an issue.

If you determine this describes you and in fact, you’e being “walked on” – the cure is found via incorporating the qualities of the opposite sign, Aries.

Aries is ME! ME! ME! Libra is WE! WE! WE! Neither of those is preferable, right? Aries probably needs to glean there are others in the world. Libra, not to be a doormat.

Hope this helps.

To ask a question – or read more astrology-based advice -> ElsaElsa!


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  • jesi

    as an aqurian im having a really rough time with this however ive been putting myself in the same position i dont know what to do