Home / Christmas from October to January: Bah! Humbug!

Christmas from October to January: Bah! Humbug!

Please Share...Print this pageTweet about this on TwitterShare on Facebook0Share on Google+0Pin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on StumbleUpon0Share on Reddit0Email this to someone

Yeah, I know, it sucks – yet another Christmas season being crammed down our throats from October to January.

Ferrett has a few things on the burner regarding the “Merry Christmas” / “Happy Holidays” thing, so I’m not going to go there; he says it quite well enough for the both of us:

One of the main joys of not working in retail these days is not having to hear the same twelve songs played over and over and over and over again.

This is my main issue with Christmas. Right here.

See, Christmas season seems to bring out the absolute worst in people – particularly entertainers without a speck of talent. (You thought I was going to complain about people’s bad driving? Hah!). Most of these folks think that they should do a Christmas CD, that somehow, mysteriously, will help their career.

Not quite. Don’t even go there.

I’m really getting sick of going into a store and being forced to listen to some lame-assed, downright awful rendition of an ancient song that had meaning at one time, and obviously not to the entertainer singing it. (That is, if you can call it singing). They sing sour notes, over-slur the glissandos, scream, wail and belch their way through what used to be pretty music extolling the reason for the season.

All the while, they think they’re sounding pretty good; all I want to do is retch. It usually sounds like they’ve been hitting the egg nog just a wee bit too hard.

(By the way, I went into a local Hallmark store back in October to get my wife a birthday card – which takes a while to find just the right one – and the folks in the store were playing the most horrendous version of Carlos Santana’s “Black Magic Woman” by some gal who couldn’t sing in tune, let alone in tempo. What made this even worse was that it was on an endless repeat cycle, replaying itself over and over and over and over and over – ad nauseum – or should I say, “no need to add nausea.”)

In my opinion, the only real good Christmas recording to come out in the last 30 years or so is the one by Bare Naked Ladies – and just about anything by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. The rest just don’t cut it, regardless of genre; they all stink because it’s all about money and ego.

I think I’m going to start wearing my iPod into stores. To Hell with them if they don’t like it.

(Cross-posted at my home site, collisionbend.)

Powered by

About Will Kessel