There were members in the pleased and appreciative Chicago audience for the Torpedo of Truth prepared to swear that Charlie Sheen does NOT think that Detroit sucks. Charlie in Detroit talked of crack cocaine, and other fancy matters. Charlie in Detroit was as close to alone as a man in a large theater might be when an audience chooses to rise and exit. Many of the reports from Detroit said the crowd, booing and hissing, “abandoned him.” Not so in Chicago!
Sheen’s entry into the limelight was greeted with a standing ovation, and supportive cries from the crowd of “Detroit SUCKS!” Low but audible, Sheen was heard to say, “No, they don’t.” Charlie Sheen looked about the crowd, and said, “I wrote you a letter.” Then, “Dear f—— awesome Chicago…” He went on to describe the “disturbing odyssey” of the previous night, the nightmare in Detroit.
The Chicago variation of the Charlie Sheen Torpedo of Truth Tour enjoyed the addition of an interviewer, to give Sheen some on-stage company. In response to the interviewer, Sheen answered questions on his marriages, his penchant for spending money for sex (the figure, $2 million, was bantered around), drugs (pot came up), Mick Jagger, Eddie Van Halen, and even The Karate Kid. As to that last, Mr. Sheen mentioned he had almost been in it. The movie I mean. On hand for purchase in the Chicago Theater was a concoction of vodka, Red Bull, and cranberry juice. Nine bucks. Yummy.
Charlie didn’t want to talk about his ex-wife, Denise Richards. But he quipped, “I got those f——- kids, didn’t I?” Mr. Sheen, familiar to all of us as the jingle-writing ladies’ man with the ocean-front beach house in the extremely popular sitcom series Two and a Half Men, appeared casually attired in tee-shirt and sweat pants. During the course of the evening he swapped the day-glo blue tee-shirt with a gentleman seated in the front row. Following the evening of delight, Mr. Sheen held the stage and sold tee-shirts of his own, Charlie Sheen tee-shirts, to the raucous crowd — 20 bucks each! From time to time guitarist Rob Patterson played a few sweet rifts; Springsteen’s recording “Born to Run” supplied the parting song.
The Chicago people had a great and entertaining evening. The interviewer asked, is Charlie “drug-addled and crazy?” The crowd cheered. Then the wiley interviewer inquired, is Charlie Sheen “rational and smart?” The crowd cheered more loudly than before.
Charlie Sheen is just getting warmed up; ready now to meet the fans, and sell a few tees. Only eighteen cities to go!