Can you give me some advice? My lying cheat of a husband of 20 years has done it AGAIN! It has been ongoing, as you can tell.
I have told him it's over, but I haven’t felt the need to tell him everything I know. It's my way of having one up on him… I think.
My problem is that my close friends and family cannot be called upon again, as they have been there before and, after watching me take him back, I feel they won't want to know. I haven't spoken to them and the struggle of going it alone is hard.
I am so goddamn humiliated. Before it was always 'real' women; this time he is cyber-cheating and text-cheating. I feel this is the final proof that he will always do it, at every given opportunity.
Our children are 12, 17, and 18. The two oldest ones have noticed a change in him recently and (again, without telling them what I actually know) they have agreed that he may be up to no good. And sadly, they have said they would have no problem with us separating. Our only son told me, "You'd be a better person without him, he is dragging you down." How depressing.
Please, PLEASE give me strength. The f*ck*r has gotta go. He is a Leo, and has a temper. He's always turning it around to be my fault, and I'm not keen on confrontation.
Do you have any advice for Capricorns like me who are, by nature, very faithful?
Married to a Cheat
He’s not going to go. He’s in a fixed pattern and so are you. He has no apparent motivation or desire to change, so if you want a new movie, you are going to have to be the one who takes the responsibility to assert yourself. Because here’s the script:
He is the little boy. You are the Mom. Little boys do things. They misbehave. Moms scold and chastise little boys in an attempt to guide them to adulthood. Most of them make it. But what if you have one of those fuckers who are still living at home at 29 and at 35? What then? Well, this is where you’re at.
That Mom with the 32-year-old baby boy is entirely complicit, you know. She missed the boat. Should have kicked his ass out when he was 20, 24, 27. Can you see the correlation? And the whole world agrees what needs to be done. Your own children, for god's sake. So if you don’t do something, who can you blame? Him? I don’t think so.
Look. The guy is a Leo who did not grow up. He is with the other women because his bottomless pit ego needs feeding. He needs this kind of validation like other people need food or water and I would not be expecting change any time soon. So what are you going to do? Keep this oversized baby or kick him out?
Well, you know what? Most people in your situation keep their baby. But if you do kick him out, I’ll tell you what’ll happen. There's a 99% chance he will find another woman just like you and commence doing what he’s always done. So you see where this leaves you. The only way to win is to cut your losses.