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Charlie Sheen: The Day the Earth Stood Ill

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Watching Charlie Sheen unravel on television is painful to say the least. It is as if an alien has landed, was booked on all the talk shows, and started speaking in his language with brief snippets of English thrown in. I was thinking that he could almost be seen as the antithesis of Klaatu from the film The Day the Earth Stood Still. In that case the alien Klaatu spoke perfect English and was understandable as his giant robot Gort stood silently on guard. Even Gort would probably have made more sense than Sheen is doing now.

I wish no harm to this man and actually hope that someone will help him. In this case, since he is an adult and father of children, the one person who really needs to step in and help is him. You cannot expect his father Martin Sheen or his brother Emilio Estevez to take charge or custody of Charlie. He has to make the decision to help himself, but each day brings new headlines, crazier antics, and the media loves this because it sells and there is no end in sight until Sheen crashes, hurts himself, or gets arrested.

I have tried to watch some of Sheen’s interviews, but they really make me sick. Here is a guy who had a great job (making $2 million bucks per episode on his CBS show Two and a Half Men), beautiful children, and a mansion. None of this seems to have mattered to Sheen as he has slowly self-destructed.

He kind of reminds me of Elmer Fudd from the Bugs Bunny Show who used to babble about being a millionaire and owning a mansion and a yacht. Despite that, Elmer was wasting his time trying to shoot Bugs Bunny all day instead of enjoying a normal life. Elmer never ended up very well in those cartoons, and I am afraid that could be the fate of Charlie too or worse.

So I am officially sick of the story, and hopefully (maybe) everyone else is getting there too. It is sad that Charlie’s show is probably history, especially for the cast and crew that lose their jobs. Hey, maybe they can bring in Emilio to take his place and they can rename it One and Two Half Men. I know that was a low blow but – oh, there I go again.

Since I don’t think there is anyone out there who can help Charlie help himself, maybe we can get good old Gort to come back and exchange Klaatu for Charlie. He might be happy up there, and on another planet he just might think he is a god because they worship him from seeing the film Hot Shots five hundred times. I just hope they don’t ask him if he is Rambo, because then things are not going to go well at all.    

Photo Credits:

Charlie Sheen – deadline.com
Elmer Fudd – librariumonline.com

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About Victor Lana

Victor Lana has published numerous stories, articles, and poems in literary magazines and online. His books In a Dark Time (1994), A Death in Prague (2002), Move (2003), The Savage Quiet September Sun: A Collection of 9/11 Stories (2005) and Like a Passing Shadow (2009) are available online and as e-books. He has won the National Arts Club Award for Poetry, but has concentrated mostly on fiction and non-fiction prose in recent years. He has worked as faculty advisor to school literary magazines and enjoys the creative process as a writer, editor, and collaborator. He has been with Blogcritics since July 2005, has edited many articles, was co-head sports editor with Charley Doherty, and now is a Culture and Society editor. He views Blogcritics as one of most exciting, fresh, and meaningful opportunities in his writing life.
  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/alan-kurtz/ Alan Kurtz

    I am officially sick of the story, and hopefully (maybe) everyone else is getting there too.

    If I wasn’t before, I am now. Why is Blogcritics covering this story? It’s already been done to death.

  • http://www.RoseDigitalMarketing.com Christopher Rose

    Alan, Blogcritics doesn’t cover stories as it doesn’t give people assignments. As you should know, all the writers write about what they want to cover, and why not?

  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/alan-kurtz/ Alan Kurtz

    Well, in that case, go right ahead and delete my comment, which I’m sure you are poised to do anyway.

  • zingzing

    and if he doesn’t, alan? what then? will you stop being [the way you are]? or will you continue to bitch? you must recognize the pattern by now.

  • El Bicho

    I also wonder why someone sick of Charlie Sheen would be writing about Charlie Sheen

  • http://viclana.blogspot.com/ Victor Lana

    Because it’s like hair of the dog, El. I had to get it out of my system.

  • http://joannehuspek.wordpress.com/ Joanne Huspek

    He’s sad, he’s dangerous, he’s just like watching a train wreck. Which is why this “story” is all over the place, and some people will never get enough.

    I wish people were smart enough to get of the Sheen train(wreck) and go read a book.

  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/alan-kurtz/ Alan Kurtz

    Joanne Huspek (#7), here you are commenting upon this story, demonstrating that you are one of us gawkers who can never get enough. Too bad you’re not one of those other people you write of, who are “smart enough to get of the Sheen train(wreck) and go read a book.”

  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/alan-kurtz/ Alan Kurtz

    Note that typo “get of [sic] the Sheen train(wreck)” is in the original, which I copied and pasted for accuracy rather than correctness.

  • Costello

    Odd that so many comments negative about Charlie Sheen coverage are allowed to stay when mine was deleted on another article. No wonder people find the censors work in an arbitrary manner

  • Boeke

    The comedic heart of “Two and a half Men” is Jon Cryer.

  • http://joannehuspek.wordpress.com/ Joanne Huspek

    #9. Alan since the media soaks everything up in this world, it’s a little hard to ignore, now isn’t it? I look and move on.

    BTW, FYI, I not only read books, I write them. In order to do that, you must back away from all electronic devices.

    p.s. I only came back because I received a Google alert on my name. In case you’re wondering.

  • http://subversivetv.blogspot.com/ Alan Kurtz

    Joanne Huspek (#12), in case you’re wondering, I wasn’t wondering about you at all.

    But I do get the impression that you consider your Internet visits to be slumming. Accordingly, I apologize for bringing you back to this place where you must hold your nose while commenting. Typing with one hand no doubt accounts for your typo that I pointed out in #9.