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Capitals Prospect Was Itchin’ For A Kitchen In The Street

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Every once in a while, when we find a story that makes us wonder what the hell goes through someone's cerebellum, we feature them in a segment on the Treehouse Fort called "What Were They Thinking," a segment unofficially copyrighted by BC's own Charlie Doherty

Joe Finley was a highly touted hockey defenseman a few years ago while playing for the University of North Dakota; so much that the Washington Capitals drafted him in 2005 with a first-round pick. Once he graduated, he signed a two-year deal with the Caps back in April. Sioux far, Sioux good.

Joe Finley, UND hockey playerNow, I've never attended UND, so I can't speak for what they teach the children up there, but I'd like to hope that "kitchen furniture stays indoors" would be paramount in the curriculum, seeing as how supping outdoors in freaking North Dakota might cause hypothermia.

Regardless, Finley and his friend, UND hockey player Matt Frattin, threw a kitchen table onto a city street in Grand Forks. To complete the set (a lone kitchen table looks quite drab), they also tossed some plates, cups, and a lawnmower. Literally, everything but the kitchen sink. [insert Paul Shaffer laughter here] The story doesn't say if the lawnmower was in the kitchen as well. But hey, you're throwin' shit into the middle of the road, sometimes your inhibitions get the best of you. We've all been there.

So we've got an impromptu episode of Extreme Makeover: Kitchen Edition in Grand Forks, and yet we're still not done with the stupidity. Frattin was also charged with fleeing, but Finley one-upped his young grasshopper of a companion by providing false information to the authorities. Yes, when Finley told the cops who he was, he showed them someone else's credit card, and claimed to be the cardholder. A dramatization of the card in question:

 Sidney Crosby Credit Card

We hope these two young men learn from their mistakes. Should Finley reach the NHL and score a hat trick, please don't throw your ballcaps. Just hurl some old tureens you were gonna sell at your next garage sale.

Update: Frattin was suspended from the team for two days. Since it’s July, we’ll assume the games aren’t for a little while.

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