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Can’t Get Pregnant? You Are Not Alone

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If you are a woman who has spent your life imagining what it would be like to have a child, then you know how exciting it is when you finally decide that you are ready to make that leap. You are finally prepared to put yourself second. You are willing to make a child the number one priority in life. You are ready to get pregnant.

If you are a woman who has tried and tried and who has been unable to conceive, then you also know the veritable barrage of emotions that you encounter — grief, embarrassment, uselessness.

As a 27 year-old woman I have been married for almost three years and have been with the same man since I was a junior in high school. I can hardly remember a time when I didn’t want to have children with him. I cannot remember a time at all, for that matter, when I didn’t daydream about being a mother. I feel very strongly that we are all on this planet for a very specific reason and I have always thought that my reason was being a mother.

Every woman in my family is like a fertility machine. They get pregnant the first time they try. They get pregnant every time they try. Imagine my surprise when after a year of trying I still wasn’t pregnant.

You might not think about it often, but it’s a relative shot in the dark. It is amazing how many people get pregnant unexpectedly, actually. It has to happen one of three or four specific days which are often hard to pinpoint for many women.

Frustration sets in. Why me? Why can so many people get pregnant the one time they have unprotected sex while I’m doing everything ever suggested by doctors, old wives tales, myths, and the woman down the street who has eight kids?

When you spend a year trying to conceive and are unable, it is often considered an early sign of infertility. You (and your partner) are then subjected to every test under the sun, most of which involve full or partial nudity in front of one or more people, often with legs spread in a very compromising position.

For many, these tests reveal very little. Some slight hormonal imbalances, a “barely” low count here or there. These things all result in orders to eat better, lose weight, and are more likely than not accompanied by some sort of medication that will throw your body into complete turmoil — in my case, starvation tempered by the fact that the sight of food makes me sick. Exhausted but unable to sleep. Oh, and did I mention the hot flashes?

Another year goes by. I start to feel guilty. My husband and I have always planned to have children. The doctors believe it is likely something in my body causing the problem. As a woman, if I am not able to conceive, what is my purpose? I can say with absolute certainty that my husband does not hold even an ounce of contempt or blame for me. That does not hold off the guilt and feelings of uselessness. They rear their ugly heads on a daily basis.

With the guilt comes the worst feeling of all. When you want so desperately to have a child and cannot, you begin to begrudge the people around you the same happiness you want for yourself.

One of my best friends becomes pregnant. I am simultaneously happy for her and extremely bitter. Her baby shower is torture because not only do I feel angry that things are so good for her, I feel like a heinous person for even having these thoughts in the first place. I am angry at everyone, including myself.

The kicker of all of this? Stress, they say, makes it harder to conceive. Right. No problem.

So here we are, almost three years into the process (because that’s exactly what it’s become – a process) with no results. I am on the cusp of having exploratory surgery to see if there is something being missed. Fertility treatments are not an option for us. Adoption would be wonderful… five years down the road after we can save up the $25,000+ that it would take.

It would be nice for this to have a happy ending like me writing in all bold letters “I’m pregnant!” I’m not. But, I can say that taking the time to explore the virtual tidal wave of emotions that I’ve gone through, and am still experiencing, has made them much easier to weather.

That’s the key, really — acknowledging that you are angry or sad or depressed. Once you do, you validate the feelings and they are no longer so desperate. I urge every woman or couple out there to do the same. Talk to each other. Talk to someone else. Write a blog. Whatever you do, know you are not the only one, even if it feels just that way.

For more, see Can’t Get Pregnant? Update from the Author

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About Kate C. Harding

  • Abbey Charles

    I’m Mrs. Robert from Finland i will testify to the whole world on how i was able to bear children at the age of 44 after 18 years of bareness, Dr MICLYNE did it all with his herbal medicine. I lost my womb after I had a miscarriage and ever since each time i had sex with my partner the sperm usually comes out of my Virginia. I seek for help in so many hospitals and wasted a huge amount of money but non could be able to cure me of this infections. Until when a Cole work introduced me to Dr MICLYNE who by his powers made it possible with his herbal medicine which he sent to me. Today I’m a mother of three. You out there having same pregnancy issue hurry he might be of great help to you also. Contact him on (miclyneherbalcenter@yahoo.com).you can also contact me to get information on how it work for me on my personal email address (robertlinda820@gmail.com)

  • Tamara Barrow

    I am Tamara Barrow from Chicago USA, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing was don. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don’t know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great spell caster who helped her get back her lost husband with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this spell caster Dr.voodoo on his email after explain my problem to him he instructed me on what to do, after that i should have sex with my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one month Dr voodoo ask me to go for check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant. I am so happy!! So if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact this great Dr voodoo for help via email: voodoospelltemple66.com you can also add Dr.voodoo on whatsApp +2349061243458 and all your problem will be solve.

  • Sara Khan

    I have been trying to get pregnant. I have had 4 miscarriages all before 10 weeks. I am just devastated. I just turned 35 and everyone keeps asking me when am I gonna have a baby. I don’t know what’s worse not being able to get pregnant or continued miscarriages. I am so sad and depressed. I feel so alone. No one around me has had issues in Getting pregnant. I just continue to watch everyone around me have babies. I’m so glad I came here. It feels good to know I’m not alone. God bless all of you ladies. May we all get to become mothers one day.

  • Vivian Walke

    i m happy to be a mother of two kids,after so many years.me and my husband have been trying to have babies but no luck.on still one day i was browsing through the internet and i saw a site baby center ,i saw so many wonderful testimony which the women that got pregnant was give out about the great man called Dr.oduma.i said to myself let me give it a try and i was afriad because i have never do any thing like spell in my life and i contacted him.immediately he reply to my mail and ask me some few questions which i answered back and he told me that my problem is a simple one and told me to get some items for the pregnancy spell and i did so.i send him the items for the spell.to cut the story short he did the purification and the cleansing and in 8 weeks time i was pregnant.so all the women looking for babies should contact Dr.oduma on his email: odumaspelltemple0@gmail.com or tel +2348182394798,website:https:// odumaspelltemple0@gmail.com/

  • karen dish

    Is my pleasure to comment on this site and i thank the admin of this site for his/her great work so far. one of the happiest moment in life is when you see your own wife put to bed.this awesome moments makes you a man, I really don’t know how to thank DR WILLIAMS for helping my wife get cured for over how many year of suffering from FIBROID. i came across DR Williams contact through a headline news on internet about how DR Williams help a woman to get cured of his fibroid and so many other with similar body problem ,i contacted him and he told me how to get his herb,few day later he sent me the herbal portion which my wife take every morning for 21 days, and his medicine was able to shrike the fibroid naturally,and now my wife is 4months old pregnant for our second child, and now she very okay without any side effects whatsoever, If you have fibroid, you can contact him on his email address drwilliams098765@gmail.com for advice and for his product.

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  • Angel Paulina

    Hello Every One
    ANGEL PAULINA, I’m From UK. I just wanted to express my gratitude and appreciation to Dr. Ogbefi for bringing my husband back to me,I was married to my husband for 4 years and all of a sudden he started seeing another lady (his mistress).he started hailing at me and he was abusive.. and he hated me , but I still loved him with all my heart . the situation made me unsettle and not to focus at work .so a friend told me about trying (Dr. Ogbefi)spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to him ? i did not listen to her and hoped that my husband will come back home . after 9 month of separation and depression , it got out of hand and my husband came back home to break the news to me that he want a divorce that he is getting married to his mistress .Hmm it was so shocking to me ,i felt sad and more depressed ,so i contacted my friend again and decided to try to use spiritual means reluctantly..although I didn’t believe in all those things? I never thought in a million years that i will get my husband back to me a again.it I was proved wrong.after 24 hours, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realised his mistakes..i just couldn’t believe it that we are back together. I am deeply satisfied and thankful with Dr. Ogbefi work .if you also want to fix you marriage or relationship email him at (solutionoflovespelltemple@hotmail.com) And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number: +2349057915709 Thanks Dr. Ogbefi

  • nicole dier

    My name is NICOLE from USA. I am here to give testimony on how I got my husband back, my husband left me for no reason months ago. He moved in with another woman, I felt like killing myself, my life became very bitter and sorrowful. Then one day a friend of mine told me about a great spell caster that is very good and she said that he told her all about her life history and the problem she is facing, i didn’t believe it because I’ve worked with so many of them and it didn’t work. She begged me further so I decided to try this great spell caster called Great Dr BEN . I still didn’t believe but inside me i wanted to give a try and as God will have it i used the spell solution he gave me and the next day and I really received a call from my darling husband, He apologized and came back to me. I’m very happy now with my family it worked for me and i believe it will work for you, give him a try and follow up, this is a clear truth from a testifier. Thank you Dr BEN once again, if you want to reach him via email: benherbaltemple@gmail.com or call him on +1(310) 220-0075

  • monica

    I want to use this opportunity to thank this great holy man called Priest Babaka for what he has done for me and my family. This great man has brought happiness and joy back again to me and my family. Priest Babaka has used his great power to help me bring back my husband within the period of 48 hours and also helped me in getting pregnant with his powerful prayers and after 7 days of applying his herbs.This is more than words can say, at first i didn’t believe it but today it is so true and all thanks goes to him. i will advice every one out there that has a similar issue, and also any one who is willing to get his or her lover back and any one who wants to get pregnant quick to contact this wonderful man today and forever remain happy in life. email: babaka.wolf@mail.com

  • marie boyden

    hi everyone i had been married since 3 and half years ago, since then i am trying to conceive. my age is 34 years now, my hormonal reports including FSH,LH,estrogen and thyriod function tests are normal, my diagnostic laproscopy is also normal and my husbands semen analysis is also normal. my serum prolactin levels are normal, but i have got breast tenderness and secretion after ovulation upto my periods. i have underwent three cycles of IUI without any success. now i am worried what to do? please give me possible reasons for this delay and what should be the future course of action. how can i have a baby for my husband that was my question. so a friend introduce me to this native iya basira so i contacted her, after using her herbs she sent, to my believe i was tested pregnant, it was an amazing miracle. when i showed my husband the result i could see the joy in his eyes, thank iya basira once again for your help, may the lord continue to bless you for the fertility help you are giving we women in need, this is her email contact, for you guys that need her help, she is a wonderful mother. nativeiyabasira@yahoo.com

  • Dr Joseph S Maresca

    There is no magic bullet to ensure pregnancy. The missionary position in sexual relations is a potential enhancer. Minimizing yeast infections could be helpful. Pregnancy and too much weight gain don’t mix. Excess caffeine is a classic miscarriage trap.

    Nutrition is critical too. It’s absolutely necessary to take a good pre-natal vitamin-one prescribed by your doctor or hospital. The other important actions are to absolutely minimize drinking, as well as, cessation from dangerous drugs.

    This task is essential to preclude having a baby with the dreaded Turner Syndrome. This condition can take up to 3-4 years to set in permanently. The adverse side effects are dreadful. Examples are heart valve deficiencies in the baby, kidney problems, stunted growth (dwarfism) and X chromosome damage. Early identification and treatment can help to reduce the symptoms by treating the baby with growth hormones among other things.

    The next line of defense is go to both a conventional physician, as well as, an alternative medicinal practitioner. An alternative medicinal practitioner will be able to prepare the patient nutritionally for a successful pregnancy event. Do all of these things and you may have the baby you never thought was possible.

  • Rose Clement

    To every woman its always a joy that after marriage the next should be
    holding her child, I did gave birth to mine but after 4 months I lost her
    and since then I have not been able to conceive again for the past 7 years
    after I lost my child. I have been to so many hospitals and I have done
    series of tests. Though I have a very supporting and understanding husband
    but I was always thinking about it. It became my major problem every time I
    see children calling their mommy .i was willing to do any thing and willing
    to pay any price at all just to have a child of mine own. So one day I came
    across a post of this man and how he has been helping people of the same
    problem, I told my husband about it and he said will should give him a try
    and this is the last, I immediately contacted him on the address I found on
    the net and I got to he. I told him all that I have been facing and if
    there is any solution to mine to my greatest surprise he told me to calm
    down that I was going to have a child soon I did not believe it. He told me
    that he was going to send me medicine which he did and advice that I should
    meet with my husband which I did. After some weeks I was feeling really
    weak I told my husband about it. The next morning I went for a check up
    after the test I was told by my doctor that I am pregnant I could not
    believe it I was happy in side but I could not control it so I have to show
    it out with a tears. Am so happy now because he has restore my life and my
    home. if you are reading this comment and you have the same problem or you
    know any one of the same problem please contact him. Here are his contacts
    drsunshinesolutioncenter12@gmail.com or call/ whatsapp him on +2349038790901

  • esther bolton

    look at me my fellow women am here to say to you not to give up please because a life dog is better than a dead lion when i was 7years barren i had no hope that i will ever get pregnant but one day i meet this person through the internet who resurrected my hope and told me that i will get pregnant after the evil woman worrying my life has died and after 9days a woman living close to me died of stomach attack and before the dead she told me that she was responsible for my childlessness and now am having two boys and my life has been restored, please call him or whatsapp him +2347066577237 or email him, druzespellhome@gmail.com God did so that He will be glorified.

  • esther bolton

    look at me my fellow women am here to say to you not to give up please because a life dog is better than a dead lion when i was 7years barren i had no hope that i will ever get pregnant but one day i meet this person through the internet who resurrected my hope and told me that i will get pregnant after the evil woman worrying my life has died and after 9days a woman living close to me died of stomach attack and before the dead she told me that she was responsible for my childlessness and now am having two boys and my life has been restored, please call him or whatsapp him +2347066577237 or email him, druzespellhome@gmail.com God did so that He will be glorified…

  • esther bolton

    look at me my fellow women am here to say to you not to give up please because a life dog is better than a dead lion when i was 7years barren i had no hope that i will ever get pregnant but one day i meet this person through the internet who resurrected my hope and told me that i will get pregnant after the evil woman worrying my life has died and after 9days a woman living close to me died of stomach attack and before the dead she told me that she was responsible for my childlessness and now am having two boys and my life has been restored, please call him or whatsapp him +2347066577237 or email him, druzespellhome@gmail.com God did so that He will be glorified…..

  • @sj@

    I came onto this site by complete accident was just having one of those down days. I to suffer from infertility. I always thought my purpose on this earth was to be a mother. I used to daydream of lot babies running at my feet. I started to try to get pregnant at 21 I had to practically beg my husband at the time he wasnt sure that he even wanted children. When he said that he was ready I was so excited, I couldn’t wait to hold my baby. Then after 3 months nothing I didn’t panic to bad some people take a while everyone told me. Then at 6 months, panic started setting in. In the mean time my best friend since childhood got pregnant I tried to be supportive and happy for her but inside it was killing me. I was devastated she told me she wanted a baby and a month later she was pregnant. I started to question what was wrong with me, what did I do so wrong to deserve this fate. After a year of trying I finally made myself go to the doctor. My doctor put me on clomid, I started on 2 pills for 4 days. I just new this was going to “fix” me and I was going to have the baby I dreamed of. I had to chart my temptress before my feet hit the ground and have intercourse on certain days. I would walk by the baby department a day look at all the cute things, think about its room, dream about them going to prom and college I had it all planned out. The clomid didn’t work after every dosage increase I would get my hopes up just to have them crushed back down. As time went by I can’t explain how bad it hurt. I wouldn’t walk by the baby department. My family and friends had baby showers and I would make up some excuse not to go becuase it just hurt so bad I felt like a complete failure in life. Time kept going and I finally made the decision that I wanted to adopt, when I spoke with my husband about adoption his words to me were that he could never love a child that wasn’t his. I didn’t think I could be made to feel any lower then I already did but he showed me that I could. Our love life ended that day and he left me for another woman. I gave up on kids, and I avoided them didn’t want to be near them I didn’t want to be reminded of what I could never have.
    I’m 33 now. Just finally got diagnosed with pcos. I wish I could say that everything is perfect now but it’s not. I’m on metformin now and clomid and I’m scared all over again. I’m getting to old to have babies and this is my last shot, my doctor thought all I would need is metformin but now that it’s failed she wants to add fertility meds. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. My cousin recently had a baby I can’t even be happy for her because I’m just so bitter I don’t know if I will ever truly be over it. My prayers are for everyone going through this. I hope all of you get yourban babies.

  • Jolie Robin

    I am here to share this testimony on how me and my husband was able to be become parents. we tried for so many years to get a child of ours but there was no success of child bearing. We went to different hospitals but they keep saying the same thing that i was the problem and my husband was perfectly okay. One day i decided to try traditional and spiritual help, i contacted a woman who i came across on the internet called Iya Basira i ask her for help and she told me that i was the cause of me inability to bear a child. I became more confuse and worried and at this time my husband was making moves for a divorce. I told the woman everything and she decided to help me, she told me she is going to help me by praying for and given me traditional medicine to drink, that i will be blessed with a child. At the end of the day i followed her instructions, because i wanted my husband to see it as a miracle because he was a strong christian. I did all she ask me to do and i got all the results i needed without my husband knowing and today am a mother. Thanks to mother Iya Basira i will forever be grateful. i will drop her contact here anybody needs her help also nativeiyabasira@yahoo.com

  • Kirstin Tina

    My name is Rita Ruby. i live in Australia, and am married for 15years without conceiving or getting pregnant until the issue resolved to problem in my home, i was really worried and bothered because i don’t want to loose my husband to another woman. i have went to hospital, the doctor told me that i cant get pregnant again i thought i have lost my husband and my marriage already.i decided to check the internet for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man of God who PROPHET JEREMIAH Trust helped his wife(Garry Linder) to conceive a baby. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life.i contacted PROPHET Jeremiah. Trust via email and tell him my problem and he assured me that he will help me, he told me what to do which i did and today i am a proud mom with a son and daughter. Words will not be enough to explained what this man did for me.i know there is someone in this same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact prophet Jeremiah so that him can payer for you .Tust now i have giving birth to twins a boy and a girl. and my husband now love me more than before. if you are in need to get pregnant or you need your xe back or you want to win lottery, contact him through his via email prophetmercyland@gmail.com or watch him television marcylandtv com or +2347055176617 .

  • Roula Roulaki

    Your blog sums up all of what I have been feeling. My husband is ok with us been childless but I am not I get bitter knowing has given up because I still what to hold onto hope even though I know that my dream of been a parent will never happen. I get upset when I hear of parents who don’t look after their children, parents who abandon them, put them up for adoption , even parents who need their mothers and mother in laws to help them raise the kids they do have. It gets me mad because I know I can do it on my own but for some reason its just not happening for us . I feel depressed, overwhelmed, don’t know what my purpose in this world is any longer, I used to go on holidays and enjoy it now I just curl up and cry and cry . I am so depressed I feel like suicide is the only answer at least I won’t hurt anymore. To top it all of I am bickering with my partner everyday because he seems to think that getting help to express my feelings is the way to go where as in reality what I want is for him to talk to me about the issue at hand, for him to hug me and say everything will be ok even if its not going to be ok , maybe pick a flower from outside if he is too tied to buy one something. Once upon a time I had a beautiful smile now its so fake . Then you have IVF options or adoption making them cheaper wouldn’t hurt the costs are outrageous you pay more than what you would raising a child you gave birth to without the help from a doctor.
    All this time I had a few questions that I always wondered and so asked my partner for the answer to and today I added one more to that list;

    Why can’t we have children ?
    Why us?
    What did we do to deserve this?
    Are we not in love that we haven’t been blessed?
    What is our purpose in life?
    Leave me find someone else she may just give you a child?
    So many questions but today I asked my husband this
    Why on earth are we doing so many hours of work . Who is what we have going to go to?
    The nephews who can’t even pick up the phone to say hello , who if they had a car would still expect you to go visit them because they have been taught wrong. Who ???
    I am so depressed the only thing that will help me right now is taking my own life so I do not hurt anymore.

  • Vera Santos

    hello everyone I am vera santos from canada, I have been trying for 6years to cure my cancer and get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband and that my cancer can’t be cured and I don’t know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great spell caster who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this spell caster on his email Drharrysolution@gmail.com ,after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am two weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant,low sperm count,penis enlargement,erectile dysfunction,diabetes 1/2,herpes cure,hpv cure,malaria cure,breast pills and enlargement bums or need your EX LOVER BACK,MARRIAGE SPELL please contact him for help via
    email:Drharrysolution@gmail.com website http://drharrysolutio.wixsite.com/dr-harry drharrysolutionhome@yahoo.com or you can call him on his hot line +2348143240563 thanks

  • Cahal Daley

    My Name is Cahal.I will love to share my testimony to all the people
    in the forum because i never thought i will have my wife back and
    she means so much to me. my wife left me for another man 4 weeks
    to our 4th wedding anniversary,I was so heart broken and disappointed.When i called her, she never picked my
    calls,she deleted me on her facebook, when i went to her place of work she told his
    boss he never want to see me any more I lost my job as a result of
    this because i could not get myself anymore,my life was upside down and
    everything did not go smoothly with my life, I tried all i could do to
    have her back, all my effort turn in vain, not on till i met a Man
    when i travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing
    some years back, I told him my problem and all i have passed through in trying to get my wife back and how i lost my job, he told me he going to help
    me, i didn’t believe that in the first place. but he swore he will help
    me out and he told me the reason why my wife left me and also
    told me some hidden secrets. i was amazed when i heard that from him,
    he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the
    next couple of days. then i travel back to US the following day and i
    called him when i got home and he said he’s busy casting those spells
    and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells, he said am
    going to see positive results in the next 2 days that was Thursday, on
    saturday of it, My wife called me at exactly 12:35pm and apologies for all she had done, she said,she never knew what
    she was doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she
    promised not to do that again. it was like i was dreaming when i heard
    that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him
    my wife called me and Dr UZOYA said i haven’t seen anything yet, on
    monday of it, they call me on my office to come and resume work. right
    now i am so happy with my family again.
    please i want every one to help me give thanks to this great man.
    you can also reach him through this email for solution to your relationship or marital problems.His email is; druzoyaspiritualtemple@gmail.com or call him on his phone number; +2349039134185

  • alexandra

    SANDRA by name from CANADA, . My husband decided to divorce me because i was unable to conceive after 12 years of marriage due to my BARRENNESS i visited different hospitals they were unable to help me i cried all day all to no avail, i decided to end it all by killing myself until God intervene by sending a friend of mine who was suffering from PCOS introduce me to the drclimentscott@gmail.com drclimentscott@gmail.com that cured her. i contacted him and he helped me. I really want to thank drclimentscott@gmail.com drclimentscott@gmail.com for the great work he did for me. After 12years of my marriage i and my husband was really desperate to have our own child . But through the help of great drclimentscott@gmail.com drclimentscott@gmail.com i was able to conceive a week after his spell. for more information contact me via email drclimentscott@gmail.com drclimentscott@gmail.com With so much joy in my heart, i and my husband want to recommend DR climent to everyone that has been looking for help for a long time to conceive to kindly contact Dr climent to help you with his pregnancy spell, contact him via his email address drclimentscott@gmail.com drclimentscott@gmail.com +2347036879479 . or call him through his mobile number +2347036879479 +2347036879479 …

    • Roula Roulaki

      sounds like a scam please do not play with peoples emotions

  • lizjasmine

    I want to share my testimony with all of you. priest manuka gave me the possibility to start a new and happy life with my husband again. me and my husband has been together for over 6 years before he left me for another lady who is more younger than me, but i was not able to take it because i loved him so much not to loose him for another woman. so a friend of my introduced me to manuka, so i contacted him for help and he assured me everything will be okay within 96hours. I am happy to tell everyone here that i was able to get my husband back within 96hours. if anyone need the help of the priest manuka just contact him via his email address, lovesolutiontemple1@gmail.com

  • Kimberly Fisk

    I understand completely and almost wish my problem was unknown so I didn’t have someone to blame, but my guy has no sex drive, we have sex maybe once a month and he knows-he is the one adamant to have kids. So I chart I do opks, I eat healthy and try and seduce him but all to no avail. I have grieved and am sometimes so angry at him. I have now just given up on kids and having a good sex life.

    • Raymond Natasha

      you don’t have to give up my dear just try drwafesolutioncenter@gmail.com and i can assure you that he can help you my dear here my number +447031943464 call me anytime ok

    • Roula Roulaki

      Has he had his testosterone levels looked at?

    • ByHisGrace2016

      I am sorry that you are facing difficulties with this. Most women’s dream is to have babies of their own. Most women also believe they are the problem while 50% of the time the men are infertile, and going through their own hormonal problems. Have you tried to get him to do sperm analysis? Get his testosterone checked? His lack of interest in sex maybe a huge indication that he maybe having hormonal imbalances. I pray that good news comes your way.

    • ByHisGrace2016

      Never give up. I pray good news comes your way. God bless.

  • Lisa

    Hello Everyone, I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody
    along the line. My Name is Lisa from United States NYC, I have no words to express my gratitude, Dr abacha…I have fought with infertility issues for more than a decade. My Gyn told me a year ago that one of my tubes was blocked, and had insisted that IVF was the only option left for me. I was desperate and terrified due to my relatively advanced age (I was 38 a year ago) and the 2 ovarian cysts that were giving me hell, that I would be childless. My husband and I decided we will keep on fighting as I have read many awful stories about the side effects, the low success rates and pain involved with the IVF procedure so we kept looking for a natural alternative. We almost gave up and then I found your website http://abachasolutiontemple.webs.com/ and emailed you for guidance. You were so supportive and kind that I immediately ordered your Pregnancy spell and started the program along with my husband who had poor sperm motility(I did all what you ask me). After 2 weeks of trying I got pregnant with my first baby boy. With one blocked tube and 2 ovarian cysts, I think this is nothing short of a miracle! you can visit his web site http://abachasolutiontemple.webs.com/ or email him via abachasolutiontemple367@gmail.com Thank you for everything, Dr abacha!

  • christabel williams

    Dr.OBANJO with a heart of gratitude, i want to let know to world about my happiness and i want to say God will bless you and your household for your good works. I’m christabel williams, from USA, i was confirm HIV positive and i was just living with the help of medication.i came across a comments on a blog how Dr.obanjo cured her, i was really shock but i contacted him and now I’m cured also. i will continue to talk about your good works just the same way people have been talking about how you cure them from their HIV disease, I’m happy now. you can contact him If you have any problem or you are also infected with any disease, kindly contact him now with his Email: drobanjospellhome@gmail.com or call him on +2348165692852

    (1) If you want your ex back
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) Herbal care
    (10) If you can’t be able to satisfy your wife
    sex desire due or
    low err action.
    (11) if your menstruation refuse to come
    out the day it suppose or over flows.
    (12) if your work refuse to pay you, people
    owing you?.
    (13) solve a land issue and get it back.
    (14) Did your family Denny you of your
    (15) Let people obey my words and do my
    (16) Do you have a low sperm count?
    (17) Case solve E.T.C

    Email:drobanjospellhome@gmail.com or whatsapp him +2348165692852

    And get all your problems solved
    Thank you.

  • jessicabrown

    Am Jessica brown. I want to use this medium to express my gratitude for life and to this grate man Prince Idualu who made we a successful woman in this world. I will forever be grateful to him. I have tried all means to be pregnant and get a child on my own. I did had some cells frozen off Cervix as a result of having per-cancerous condition. I have traveled, learning to get and trying to get all herbs and medication to get pregnant but to no avail. I lived all my life in pains hoping and praying just to have a kid of mine. along the line i met with a friend who directed me to Prince Idialu who help me with fertility herbal supplement which i take and before i could finish the first bottle surprisingly i got pregnant at the month end and now i am a mother of two now. If you have been experiences same problem and in the same situation kindly contact this Doctor via email: princeidialu@outlook.com or call +27731260143 He is the only Doctor that can help you

  • mimi

    my husband is a very rich and welding man.will make the money together few month later,he started hooking up with bad friends .on my noted he was having an affair with another woman .the family lawyer call me an asked me if me and my husband had a miss-understanding ,because my husband has change the name writing on the wile.he took everything we have to the his girlfriend ,meaning that i don’t have any share in the family.i was frustrated and discourage.until a friend of my advice me to visit a spell caster so that all my problems will been solve within 48 hours then i contacted the spell caster she introduce to me.dr ogun spellcaster,drogun promise that every thing will been alright.few weeks later my husband came back home ,on his kneels begging,asking me forgive and forget about the past and face the future ahead.right now i am in full control of my husband access.a big thants to dr ogun who bring back my husband .if you have same problem kindly contact dr. ogun in his via email.drogunspellcaster@gmail.com.

  • mimi

    my husband is a very rich and welding man.will make the money together few month later,he started hooking up with bad friends .on my noted he was having an affair with another woman .the family lawyer call me an asked me if me and my husband had a miss-understanding ,because my husband has change the name writing on the wile.he took everything we have to the his girlfriend ,meaning that i don’t have any share in the family.i was frustrated and discourage.until a friend of my advice me to visit a spell caster so that all my problems will been solve within 48 hours then i contacted the spell caster she introduce to me.dr ogun spellcaster,drogun promise that every thing will been alright.few weeks later my husband came back home ,on his kneels begging,asking me forgive and forget about the past and face the future ahead.right now i am in full control of my husband access.a big thants to dr ogun who bring back my husband .if you have same problem kindly contact dr. ogun in his via email.drogunspellcaster@gmail.com

  • Elizabeth Stephen

    Hello I’m Miss Elizabeth From USA and i want to give
    thanks to Dr Olodumare for the herbal hiv medicine he gave to me and my
    daughter, i was suffering from hiv when i gave birth to my daughter and
    that was how my daughter got the sickness direct from me, but to God be
    the glory that i am heal with the herbal medicine that DR Olodume gave
    to me when i contacted him. i want to use this medium to tell everyone
    that the solution to our sickness has come, so i will like you to
    contact this great healer on his email address:
    Orikiolodumarespelltemple@gmail.com with him all your pains will begone,
    i am really happy today that i and my daughter are cured of hiv, we are
    now negative after the use of his medicine,my doctor confirm it. once
    more i say a big thank to you Dr Olodumare for healing hands upon my life
    and my daughter, i say may God continue to bless you abundantly and
    give you more power to keep helping those that want your help in their
    lives. email him now he is waiting to receive you. :



    his web site is : http://orikiolodumarespel.wix.com/dr-olodumare

  • Amada Chris

    I want to thank God for using Dr. Agbi to restore my life back with herbal medicine, my good friends who have been HIV positive for 2 years and all days of my cry to God as life was a mother of 2 cute kids were looking at me, I was taking my medication the hospital, I also did some prayers to God to do a miracle in my life, this is my friends a life story playing i am sharing with you in net today, a few months ago I was surfing the net when I found some good evidence about Dr Agbi has done for me and my family. I was having HIV / AIDS for good three years without solution, the disease almost took my life cause I could work and I was losing a lot of money for drugs, but faithful day when I went online, I met plenty of testimonials about this great man, so I decided to give it a try and to God be the glory he did. he cured me of my illness and I am so happy and so happy to write about it today. if you need help you also want to be cured as I got mine,this doctor has cured so many problem such as: barrenness, to get your ex-back completely and last for ever, low sperm count,and creation of opportunity in ones life!!! So friends my advise is if you have such sickness or any marital problem, kindly email Dr. Agbi on : Diderogunspellcaster@gmail.com or call Whats App Number +2347062270775 +2347062270775 sir i am indeed grateful for the help i will forever recommend you to my friends!!!

  • Deisy Mendoza

    My Name are Daisy Mendoza From United state. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man calledDR EHIGHALOA has done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to my husband called Mendoza we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave me his contact email, then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he told me to get some items that will be use to prepared this spell casting and which i could not found but he also helped, he told me to send the little money for the items which i gladly send the money to him, that was how i get my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great DR EHIGHALOA for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:
    1) If you want your ex lover back.
    (2)If you are looking for a baby,
    contact dr EHIGHALOA on his email drehighaloaspelltemple@gmail.com

  • Raymond

    I am singing with joy today because of what God has use DR Aboki to do in my life,can you believe i got pregnant at the age of 40 year,i have be looking for a baby of my own that will call me mother for the past 21years,i contacted some many people who try their best but there was no solution to my problem, but when i came in contact with DR Aboki my story change from worst to the best,so many people think that i will never have a baby of my own,but when DR Aboki did is prayer for me i became pregnant all i did for him was to get the items which he told me to get and now i have a child i could call my own,i am so happy, you can contact him via email pregnancysolutionhome@gmail.com

  • Fednard Morris

    i have never been so happy since when i found out the good thing Dr Eghodin did for me… i am dorian and i live in sweden i was been barren for the past 6yrs since i was married, i have tried all i could to conceive a baby at all cost but No avail so a friend of mine introduce me to Dr Eghodin who reside in Africa, he is a voodooist and also a white witch Doctor who his spirit, is the spirit that brought in the mother of all unclean souls, and that of the once that are also clean,his a great herbal Doctor and also a spell caster.. so i tried all i could to get his contact and i emailed him so we chat and i gave him my part of my story and later on he decided to help me with a spell to conceive, and also gave me the procedures i should follow, so he requested for me to buy some items in which he will use to cast the spell, so i put all my effort to make sure i send him the money to buy the items because i was so eager and my mother inlaw was already on my nerves… so i sent him the money and he bought the items to cast the spell… after he was through with the spell, he phoned me and also told me that in the night i should make sure i make love with my partner in which i did… to my surprise, i went for a medical checkup and i was been given a goodnews that i am pregnant… i am so happy that all my hope were not lost because if it wasn’t for Dr Eghodin i won’t have been giving this testimony…. so if you think you are having similar problem like mine kindly contact Dr Eghodin now on his email at ( dreghodinhomeofsolutiontemple@gmail.com ) he is always waiting and i pray he helped you through your problems friends… ( dreghodinhomeofsolutiontemple@gmail.com )…

  • G

    Has any one ever heard of or tried preseed

  • Philip Anderson

    My girlfriend and I were happy as far I could tell and I never thought that we would break up. When her cousin died in a tragic car accident she went to her family in Mexico for a week. I couldnt go because I was in the middle of entertaining out of town clients for work. She did not seem to be upset that I could not go so I let her be. The next thing I knew, she reconnected with an old friend from high school that she had a crush on years back and they started to have an affair! I had no clue what was going on until she came back from Mexico. She proceeded to see this old friend and I caught her and her old friend one night hugging each other. I confronted her and she told me the truth about what happened. We broke up and went our separate ways. Neither of us fought for our relationship. I was angry and decided not to be upset about it and just keep it moving. Then after about few months of no contact with her I became sad. I wanted her to tell me she wanted to be with me and not her old friend. I contacted Dr.Muna for a love spell and he truly helped me! he was able to get her to miss me she wanted us to get back together again. She had lot of regrets and felt bad for not fighting to keep me and for cheating in generally. she cherish our relationship so much more now and we are together now! You can also get your lover back with the help of Dr.Muna contact him through his email: marvelspelltemple@outlook.com his web site http://marvelspelltemple.webs.com/

  • bella Alpha

    my name is Bella,i just want to tell the whole story about what has happen to me in the past,i was married for over ten years no issue, which nearly cost me my marriage, so i came across a friend whose name was sis Cheney, who told me that she had worst, then she hook me up with a herbalist whose name was MAMA DADA HERBAL HOME she told me not to worry about the problem,all i know was that, that same week i became pregnant with a baby. thanks to MAMA DADA HERBAL HOME who has done this great things and not only that she saved my marriage, she also broke the ten years of bareness, and now i am a mother of twins namely Jessica and harry.if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact her for help via email: mamadadaherbalhome@yahoo.com or call+2348169886942..

  • Blue luna

    I completely understand. I’ve been trying for 3 and a half years to conceive baby number 1. I thought it would be an easy process for us too since my husband mom and my mom conceived the first month they tried. I’m an only child and I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was a kid. Every picture I have is me holding a doll baby. I became a teacher because I love kids. …and I’m amazing with them too. I use to want 4 kids, now I just want one. One baby. Women kill their babies or do drugs or abuse their kids. It seems so cruel that a process that should and is beautiful for so many people is so hard for us. I was hoping when my best friend got pregnant I could be around a baby more but now we barely hang out anymore. I know life is unfair….obviously. I just don’t understand why people get them who don’t deserve them and loving people do not. sorry….I suppose this is more ranting than blogging but I haven’t done that yet online. Lol anyways just letting you know you’re definitely not alone. Hope we get the beauty we deserve….and can let go of the pain someday.

    • Rachel

      Amen I know what you’re saying I’ve been married for almost 11yrs and still no babies my brother in law got married last summer and just found out they are having a baby in august go figure I said I feel worthless.

      • Roula Roulaki


  • Yasmin

    I can completely relate to this article 100%. This is pretty much my story. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for more than 4 years and yet nothing. We did try infertility treatments for a year and unfortunately had to stop due to the loss of a job and the cost was too much for us to afford at the moment. I still never really felt like I was getting anywhere with my doctors anyway. They had me on Clomid and I was on my 4th round (since earlier in the year I had a chemical pregnancy miscarriage and gave myself 2 months to recoop) and we also tried IUI twice, the last time seemed so promising!! Everything looked like it was in our favor and we still got a negative. One of the most devastating moments I’ve had during this whole process since I knew this would have been my last chance to try since we couldn’t afford it anymore. We both have been tested for everything under the sun and neither one of us have any issues. They did do a test which showed a slight blockage in my right tube which didn’t show as too much of an issue but that my chances of getting any fertile eggs on the right ovary were slim and I could basically get pregnant only every other month. So here I am 4 months after my last fertility attempt and nothing. I wish I had a happy ending as well but I still haven’t yet to receive this miracle. It’s very hard to cope with especially since I haven’t been told by any doctor what my issue is…the advice I was given was to lose some weight and hope for the best…? Really? As if it was just that easy…I always wonder if anyone else is on the same boat as I am? I still try to track my ovulation every month but with my periods being so irregular it’s sometimes difficult to time it right. Clomid did set me straight but I’ve always heard it isn’t good to use it more than 6 rounds. So now I don’t know what my next step is, I’m continually praying and trusting in God for a miracle

  • Amy

    This article is in everyway I am feeling know I was diagnosed with pcos two days ago as well as following a ultrasound one of my ovaries appear to be stuck to my womb!! and have since felt terrible I can’t stop crying the thought of never being able to have children cripples me!!! I work with and absolu love children!! My last blood test shows that I am not ovulating!!! And I just feel as though I have let everyone down my partner for maybe never having the opportunity to make him a father!!! My family for not given them the joy of having children in their family I feel terrible I’m finding it so hard to function at the moment!!! I feel rather let down by my doctor surgery as they told me everything was normal!!! After reading this it made me feel a little better knowing I’m not the only one!!! And my heart goes out to u all!!! I am 28 and also thinking what is the point in my life I really don’t know where to go from here!!! I feel terrible stresses and super emotional

  • pretties

    thank you once again Dr OLUYOR for your help after 14 years of marriage i hard never have any sign of pregnancy until i met a friend of my who introduce your herbal medicine to me and truly as you said it all happen with your 100% guarantee after using the herbs you gave to me and it really work and now i am a mother at last God bless me with a set of twins thank you once again for you wonderful work and i will never stop talking about you ,your herbs work for more info or help for order stander email via:oluyorhomeofsolution@gmail.com or call +2348123921352

  • felicia spearman

    Hi my name is fe, i am 31 i have no kids and been told everythings fine when ive tried for 3 years no luck. Then 4 more years no luck. Thats 7 years of watching my friends my cousins and nephews have kids and not one for me . i lost 3 boyfriends to other women getting pregnant by them and afraid i will lose number 4. He has 1 child and no fertility problems i fear i will never have kids and will always be lonely. It saddens me when my friends dont understand why i dont come to baby showers or when something bad happens i dont get the same help as them. Sometimes i feel like my mom doesnt want me because she praises my sister who is 56 for having a another kid and to watch my nephews younger than me have kids made me really sad. At home my hunny talks about how wonderful it would be to be a dad again but ik it will never happen how do i cope…

    • Elena

      I know it feels like all hope is lost and that their is nothing you can do, but your not alone hundreds of women all over the world share your pain at tears, I myself have been trying for 2 years with no luck and I’m in my tweenties ….. I’ve cried myself to sleep….. You should try going a step further go to the doctor and become familiar with your body the problem could be a lot easier to fix then you think !!!! Never give up and know that there are people who don’t even know you that are praying for you good luck

  • Hannah

    I had two miscarriages last year. Before that it felt like everyone was getting pregnant by mistake…and now everyone else is. I fucking hate it. But who am I to be angry at others, I understand that it is not their fault and they are not doing it to hurt me but by god iit really feels like they are. I am a built mummy. It’s what I was made to do but this doesn’t seem to make any difference and I fucking hate it. I’ve heard that being stressed doesn’t help but this is making me stressed out. My partner took the miscarriages hard and isn’t one for having a frank convo. It’s my turn now

  • Lisa

    Hello everyone, After 6 years trying to conceive I finally got pregnant 2 weeks after I contacted Priest Iyare, It was simply amazing. I had history of recurrent miscarriages and was also diagnosed with genetic problems but using your system I got pregnant naturally at age 44& after 2 HSGs and 4 negative IUIs including 6 induction Clomid cycles and laparscopy. God will bless you and your good work more and more. I am recommending your program to all my friends. Google his name ( Prophet Iyare ) and you will get all his details you can use in contacting him. and get your problems solved. God bless you!!

  • Richie Jack

    I’m Richie Jack from SPAIN MADRID I really want to tell the whole world what Dr Akereco greatest spell caster done for me this’s tears of joy. My wife left for USA last six months and there after she refused to come home i called and i called and she persisted then instantly i new something was wrong somewhere i searched for helped from the vertical to horizontal and yet to no avail. I cried and cried but she was not gonna come back to me. on 8st of January 2015 i picked up my computer to get suggestions form anywhere that i can then i came across his dr_akereco@yahoo.com I email him but to say the fact though i wanted to do anything to have my wife back i still have doubt that this couldn’t work cause i don’t believe in superstition. The reply i got was striking that my wife had been spellbound by another man. i screamed help but he said not worry. this is what i should do and i did. to my greatest surprise 24 hours time on 9th of January my wife called and she was crying to me and not knowing what to do i bust into tears too but of joy. so i will use this medium to urge every single soul with problem of any kind try and contact this email. DR AKERECO IS A PROBLEM SOLVER. Again his email is dr_akereco@yahoo.com

  • Shoro Niyenn Loalo

    I am full of happiness and delight, on the grounds that I have my significant other once more at my palm. My partner left me for just about 2 years. He doesn’t pick or even return my calls and sends I tried each approaches to get him back, however no way. Until I met with this extraordinary spell caster called Olorun Agbalazzy, who did magic for me to get him back in less than 42hrs. I exhort anybody going to this site to run to him promptly for any relationship offer assistance. He is an extremely effective and experience spell caster you can get help from.you can contact this great man Dr Olorun Agbalazzy on his email OLORUNODUDUWASPIRITUALTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM


  • micheal james

    i was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster…so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn’t believe in all those things… then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his email address marcuscruz1111@gmail.com ]spells is for a better life. again his email is marcuscruz111@gmail.com] call him with this number +2348167636906

  • Mandy Slate

    I’m turning 35 and I feel the torture of not being able to get pregnant .. it does make you question the meaning of life your purpose.. on a daily basis I feel worthless .. sounds pathetic I know .. but as a young woman you believe your ultimate goal is to become a mom and the ultimate and rewarding job of life.. so sad I won’t get to hear mom or mommy .. that’s life I suppose

  • brookcampbellsweet

    How to restore broken relationships and marriage

    Hello to the people of this forum< Am Brooke Campbell from Texas and i can say that am the happiest person on earth since last week with what DR ABULU has done for me , it all started last year October when my fiance left me in Texas and travel to see his parents in Ohio at first him was still calling me and show love even when him was away , but it gets to a point when he no longer gives a shit about me , and i noticed it so when i tried to confront him , he told me that he dose not love me again that he feel like being alone i was shocked and heartbroken when i tried talking he will hang the phone on me i was so heart broken and i was frustrated about this , but on a second thought i was not convince that he was on his right senses so i discuss this with my elder sister who lives in California and she directed me to DR abulu of abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com saying that the man has helped her friend in such case before so i said to my self let me tried i contacted this man and explain everything to him and behold dr abulu said to me what am to do and i did exactly what he and he said after three days my fiance will call me and once he calls me i should pick the calls and he gave some other instructions . so i said okay , but to my best surprise on the 7th of November my fiancee called me and started saying on the phone am sorry it was like a dream to me , with this i said i will tell the world of his dr abulu goodness in my life , so if any one is out there and needs help in his or her relationship can also contact him today via

    email abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com
    web abuluspiritualtemple.webs.com

  • tee

    I miscarried at 16, and over night I grew up when I found out I was going to have a baby, only for my world to come crashing down a few weeks later.. well I am 25 now, been with my husband for 6 years, and since then we have been trying for a child.. Never have I had another positive pregnancy test.. I hate it when people say ”but your so young, you have a long time yet” but I feel old, this situation makes me feel even older.. it add years to me.. Doesn’t help all my family don’t do emotions, and if I try to speak to them, they tell me they are not interested, when im in ”one of those moods” yesterday I found out my brother was having his first baby with his wife.. and I said congrats etc.. only to gulp down tears myself, I had only recently been diagnosed with Polycycstic ovaries, the same thing my sister in law had, so when I found out I went to her.. and balled my heart out, thinking she understands.. all the time talking to her she was pregnant, and couldn’t symathise at all.. Only people who have been struggling 9 years, like I have can feel the pain of this, every day.. you can t put it in the back of your mind, but it never goes.. I feel useless, hopeless, pointless. it would be the only thing I am good at.. the only thing I know I will excel in.. Im just so so lost..By the way, the lady who wrote this, I felt each word you wrote.. you pin pointed exactly how I feel…

  • lola

    my husband of 9years left me just because i could not give him A child, i did all i could to make sure i give him a child, i even went to an extent of forcing him to have sex with me every night but could not work. not untill one evening when i was browsing through the internet, i saw a comment on how a woman in same problem like mine was made home by A man called Dr onofe. i read about him and decided to contact him for help, i did as he ask me to do but i was still wondering how can someone just bring back my love he don’t even know but i keep doing as he ask me to do. i was very surprise one morning my husband came and started begging me to come back to his life. at first i pretend to be angry then i accepted him back. Dr onofe also cast a spell for me to make me have children and as i speak right now i am a mother with 3kids. if there is any one out there who needs his help you can contact him through his personal EMAIL: onofetemple@yahoo. or website: http://onofetemple.wix.com/http i wish you good luck

  • lola

    my husband of 9years left me just because i could not give him A child, i did all i could to make sure i give him a child, i even went to an extent of forcing him to have sex with me every night but could not work. not untill one evening when i was browsing through the internet, i saw a comment on how a woman in same problem like mine was made home by A man called Dr onofe. i read about him and decided to contact him for help, i did as he ask me to do but i was still wondering how can someone just bring back my love he don’t even know but i keep doing as he ask me to do. i was very surprise one morning my husband came and started begging me to come back to his life. at first i pretend to be angry then i accepted him back. Dr onofe also cast a spell for me to make me have children and as i speak right now i am a mother with 3kids. if there is any one out there who needs his help you can contact him through his personal EMAIL: onofetemple@yahoo. or website: http://onofetemple.wix.com/http i wish you good luck

  • carajones

    I have good news to share with the world today, i made a vow to my self that i will tell the world about Dr Ijebu after he helped me with his spell that made my wife and i settled our difference. We where both married for years without issue, we visited different hospitals but nor could help us. i loved my wife so much and never intended to drive her out for a second woman. One day as we where both deliberating on how to solve our bareness we got a news from a radio station that Dr Ijebu can put a stop to all problem with his spell so we called his mobile number and then emailed him for a solution and after all was done i and very glade to announce to the world that my wife had a set of twine 9 month later. Do you have problem of any kind and you think all hope is lost then you have a chance to met Dr Ijebu today for help his email is: drijebuspellhome@gmail.com..

  • Angela Felix

    I have been married for over 2years and no issue(baby) to show for it, I and my husband have gone to different places for help for me to get pregnant, but all our efforts where fruitless. My husband became tired of me and started accusing me of the cause of our problem. I tried to make him believe that I don’t know why I cannot get pregnant. But as a man he pays deaf ears to my words. It came to a time when he gave me an ultimatum to leave his house. I became more crazy and restless. I search for help including where there is no help. My husband finally sent me packing after 5years of our marriage. when I was in my parents? house I was still searching for a solution until I met an old friend whom gave me the contact of this spell caster Dr Eziza, she said he saved her marriage too. I contacted him for help. He told me that it is never too late that I will need two spell in one. Which means an ex back spell and a fertility spell. He actually cast a spell for me after 48hours of his spell; my husband came to my parents? house looking for me. We got back together again. That made me so happy. Still with his fertility spell, I became pregnant after 2months of his spell. What a powerful man. I am the happiest person on earth. If you need any help, I recommend this great man to you, I am so sure he will help you the way he helped me ezizaspiritualshrine@yahoo.com Tel: +2347054206121


  • Moore Juliet

    I am MOORE JULIET from Australia, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don’t know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great spell caster who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this spell caster Dr.Sam on his email after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via email: miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam. You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. my blog post: http://moorejuliet.blogspot.com He is a good spell caster

  • Jessica Williams

    What will i do to thank Doctor Atete the great spell caster for the help he rendered to me? how do i appreciate him for helping me get my lover back after 9 years of breakup? this is a testimony i must share because Doctor Atete is a God on earth. My heart is filled with Joy because Meyer the father of my three children is back. He left me 9 years ago for Jessica and said he does not love me any more because we had a fight, though i did all i could to get him back but my effort seems abortive just 4 days ago a friend of mine told me about Doctor Atete who helped her to solve all relationship problems so i decided to contact him also via email. Today i want to let the world know that Doctor Atete’s spell is active, he is a man of his word and can be trusted 100% because as i speak now Meyer the father of my three children came back to me yesterday on his knees begging me to forgive and accept him back. Do you need help of any kind then Contact Doctor Atete today via Email: doctoratetespelltemple@hotmail.com or website:http://drzazazworldofpowerfulspellwebscom.webs.com or Whats-app:: +2348068784784 or call him: +2348068784784 or +2347056505954

  • Chizzy Peace

    Hello I am CHIZZY PEACE ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to DR ADAGBA the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Dr Adagba about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR ADAGBA at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com. and get your problems solve like me….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

  • Besilica

    In 39 years I can’t get pregnant

  • Margaret01

    Please know this is completely honest, and no one has forced me to write this. I am a 37 year old woman who has been trying for 9 years to get pregnant I finally got pregnant 2 weeks after I contacted priest Iyare on his website http://iyareyarespellstemple.webs.com/ It was simply amazing. I had history of recurrent miscarriages and was also diagnosed with genetic problems but using your system I got pregnant naturally at age 37& after 2 HSGs and 4 negative IUIs including 6 induction Clomid cycles and laparscopy. I had zero side effects.. God bless you and reward you. I HIGHLY recommend this product!”
    Margaret From USA

  • Margaret

    “Dear priest iyare, After 9 years trying to conceive I finally got pregnant 1 week after I contacted you from your website http://iyareyarespellstemple.webs.com/ It was simply amazing. I had history of recurrent miscarriages and was also diagnosed with genetic problems but using your system I got pregnant naturally at age 44& after 2 HSGs and 4 negative IUIs including 6 induction Clomid cycles and laparscopy. God will bless you and your good work more and more. I am recommending your program to all my friends. God bless you and reward you!”
    Margaret From USA…

  • Nicole

    Hi everybody ..well what can I say, reading so many stories similar to mine breaks my heart. I’ve been trying to get pregnant almost 4 years now. Ive been with my bf 5 years we were planning on moving in together but just recently I decided to break everything off because I also feel useless and everyday I feel less of a woman and I don’t want to put him through my pain. I think it’s every woman’s greatest happiness to have children and it hurts me to try soo hard and not be able to. I love him but I’m ashamed of my problem.I just wish I could understand why things have to be this way.. . I know he loves me and understands what I am going through.He has 2 kids from a previous relationship and I see what a great father he is. My biggest wish is to be able to have a baby one day. But I get so emotional when I think about this. I dislike the fact that women out there are so lucky to be able to have children yet some do not appreciate it. I pray each night that one day I can too be able to say I’m pregnant. I think that will be the happiest day ever.

    • Justin Karissa

      My name is Justin Kerissa and am from Trinidad…. I have been trying for 10 years to get pregnant and needed help! Been going to the doctors but still nothing positive happen. The doctor said me and my husband are fine , I don’t know where else to turn. Until one day I read how DR OGBIDI helped others get pregnant ONLINE… I decided to contact the great man via email (DROGBIDISOLUTIONHOME@GMAIL.COM) OR (DROGBIDISOLUTIONHOME@YAHOO.CO.UK) and DR OGBIDI cast a pregnancy spell for me and gave me a 2months sure guarantee that i will become pregnant , and exactly 6weeks later I went to check and to my greatest surprise i was pregnant, i was so happy…… i can never forget what this great man did for me….. Thanks to Great DR OGBIDI who opened my blessings of conceiving , i want to use this medium to tell other women out there who is having pregnancy issues not to wait for years like i did contact DR OGBIDI NOW and be happy FOREVER ….+2347050203191
      CONTACT HIM TROUGH HIS WEBSITE http://drogbidisolutionhome.webs.com/

  • aleksandra

    Hello, everybody. I am nearly 31 years old woman, been trying for a baby almost 2 and half years,still nothing happened. I am so angry, stressed and disappointed with myself.everywhere I look everybody area pregnant or already have babies. So many woman at workplace are pregnant, some even didn’t try just got caught.that’s why I am so angry.everybody says relax and blah blah blah, but they don’t understand how hard it is for me.i am starting to loose hope.i am deeply depressed and don’t know what to do with myself :'(:'(

    • Justin Karissa

      My name is Justin Kerissa and am from Trinidad…. I have been trying for 10 years to get pregnant and needed help! Been going to the doctors but still nothing positive happen. The doctor said me and my husband are fine , I don’t know where else to turn. Until one day I read how DR OGBIDI helped others get pregnant ONLINE… I decided to contact the great man via email (DROGBIDISOLUTIONHOME@GMAIL.COM) OR (DROGBIDISOLUTIONHOME@YAHOO.CO.UK) and DR OGBIDI cast a pregnancy spell for me and gave me a 2months sure guarantee that i will become pregnant , and exactly 6weeks later I went to check and to my greatest surprise i was pregnant, i was so happy…… i can never forget what this great man did for me….. Thanks to Great DR OGBIDI who opened my blessings of conceiving , i want to use this medium to tell other women out there who is having pregnancy issues not to wait for years like i did contact DR OGBIDI NOW and be happy FOREVER ….+2347050203191
      CONTACT HIM TROUGH HIS WEBSITE http://drogbidisolutionhome.webs.com/,,

  • Little sam

    I do have a little girl she’s 8 I fell pregnant with her pretty quickly, i have been trying for 19 months for another baby and can’t get pregnant, I went to the doctors but because I have a daughter with the same partner and because my periods are regular he doesn’t seem interested, I think about it day in day out feels like every one else can get pregnant but me, I long for another baby so bad, I really feel for you all its just so unfair xx

    • Merica Fukyeah

      I have a son abt to turn 10. Had him not planned never married to his dad. Didn’t ever intend for him to be an only child. Now almost 10 yrs later I have the fairytale, met man on my dreams got married have a nice home will be 35 in couple months so I know times running out and been trying for a baby for 15 months with NOTHING. I cry every time I get my period. He doesn’t have any children.I don’t know why I can’t get pregnant. Tests came back normal from doc now they want me to go get my tube checked. It’s slightly invasive and I’ve been avoiding it. Ugh. It’s irritating and depressing.

  • anonymous

    You need help to get pregnant? contact Dr Osemen spell temple on this email (healinghomeofallsickness@outlook.com) I am MARYJANE from SOUTH AFRICA, I have been trying for 6 years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. the doctor said me and my husband are fine , I don’t know where else to turn. until one day my friend Amanda introduce me to this great spell caster who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this spell caster Dr Osemen on his email (healinghomeofallsickness@outlook.com) after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i had sex with the man I love most in this world, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant am so happy!!!!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact his email address: healinghomeofallsickness@outlook.com he did it for me and he can also do yours. Goodluck.

  • Shella Staten Morris

    Hello my good friends i want to say a big thanks and appreciation to the great man Dr Molemen of drmolemenspiritualtemple@gmail.com who bless my womb, i have been married for the past 5year without a child i have look for all kind of help that can make me get pregnant but nothing works out for me, few time back now i came across Dr Molemen email on internet when i was searching for help on how i can get a baby, Quickly i contacted him to help me out, he said he will send me some herbal herbs which i will have to Drink for some days,According to what he told me few time after contacting Dr Molemen he actually sent me a package which i took as directed by him, My friends after doing all the instructions given to me by Dr Molemen, a couple of months later i went for test and they told me i am 2weeeks Pregnant,and now i am here taking care of my baby girl all this i never believed will happen but with the help of Dr Molemen my problems where solved, i still hope for another Baby. If you need any help with your problem of getting pregnant or any other disease issue just email Dr Molemen on: drmolemenspiritualtemple@gmail.com or call him on +2347036013351.

  • Shella Staten Morris

    Hello my good friends i want to say a big thanks and appreciation to the great man Dr Molemen of drmolemenspiritualtemple@gmail.com who bless my womb, i have been married for the past 5year without a child i have look for all kind of help that can make me get pregnant but nothing works out for me, few time back now i came across Dr Molemen email on internet when i was searching for help on how i can get a baby, Quickly i contacted him to help me out, he said he will send me some herbal herbs which i will have to Drink for some days,According to what he told me few time after contacting Dr Molemen he actually sent me a package which i took as directed by him, My friends after doing all the instructions given to me by Dr Molemen, a couple of months later i went for test and they told me i am 2weeeks Pregnant,and now i am here taking care of my baby girl all this i never believed will happen but with the help of Dr Molemen my problems where solved, i still hope for another Baby. If you need any help with your problem of getting pregnant or any other disease issue just email Dr Molemen on: drmolemenspiritualtemple@gmail.com or call him on +2347036013351..

  • Robin laura

    I really want to thank Dr Ero for saving my marriage. My husband really treat me bad and left the home for almost 1 month i was sick because of this, then i contacted eromosalelovespell@outlook.com for help, he told me that my husband is under a great spell of another woman. then he cast a spell of return back of love on him. And he came back home and ask for forgiveness and today we are happy again, i want you all who are having relationship, ex and even husband problem to contact eromosalelovespell@outlook.com or call him with +2348161850195

  • Francisca luis

    My name is lius Francisca, and I base in U.S.A…My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Jatto, which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Lydia,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Jatto E-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him VIA Email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr Jatto, is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man… If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Try drjattosplltemple@gmail.com anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. Here’s his Email drjattosplltemple@gmail.com OR CALL +2349035512062.

    10. BEAUTY SPELL.,.

  • vera09

    Hello every one i want to use this forum to thank arigbo for bringing joy into my marriage , i have been trying to get pregnant after my miscarriage 6years ago , but to no avail until i contacted Dr Arigbo, of Arigbo spell temple and Dr Arigbo made a cleanse and pregnancy spell for me , thanks to Dr Arigbo am a proud mother of my baby boy and am expecting another baby very soon , you can contact Dr Arigbo on email (arigbospelltemple@gmail. com) or call +2347060960158
    for all your spiritual and family issues..

  • thewonderer

    My self is in the same situation I been with my husband for 4 years and nothing and I looks around and there is woman that can look at another guy and become pregnant then there is someone I know that told herkids she is going to kill them and is pregnant again there is someone that has 3 kids and she moved out of state she took the oldest cause his father killed him self so the kid gets benefits and she took the youngest cause she was marrying the father to her and then she left the mild child I .here home town with his father

    • vanessa

      contact dr ashra for help on this email ashraspelltemple@gmail.com , he helped me in my case i had block tubes but he used some spiritual method to make me conceive

  • Stephanie

    I am too in this situation I have been ttc for nearly 5 years now it’s breaking my heart everyday to know that my best friends is pregnant don’t get me wrong I want to be happy for her but I just can’t be happy knowing that my rainbow baby still hasn’t come and the worst thing is she didn’t even want the baby I’m sorry to rant I just feel so alone I don’t have anyone to talk to as she is my only friend and my partner just doesn’t get that I feel less than a woman and that I’m broken x

    • thewonderer

      I feel the same way my husband has kids so you can say I have step kids but the live in like 4 states away so I really don’t feel like a step mom my husband doesn’t understand why I feel the way I do and my friend just had a kidand don’t get me wrong I love that little boy but everytime I look at the baby or my nephew that is. A year old it breaks my heart I sit and wonder everyday why. Me why can’t I have kids whhen there is people out there that can be a one night stand and just pop out kids I been having pregnant dreams for like 2 weeks now I don’t know what it means there is this song called I would die for that and that is exactly how I feel

      • Stephanie

        I would die for this too I just feel so alone and all my best friend does is talk about how nice it is too be pregnant knowing that I have pcos and it’s harder for me to don’t get me wrong I’m happy for her but in my eyes she don’t deserve a baby she’s too selfish and trtrying to control her partner and she drinks and smokes weed whilst she is pregnant all I want is a baby of my own I just wanna be a mommy :'(

  • Luca Gabriella



    contact him today via _ lordgbukasherine34@gmail.com OR his quick contact +2348060933128


  • Luca Gabriella


    I have been married for the past 3years without a child i have look for all
    kind of help that can make me get pregnant but nothing works, but through
    an insight i came across LORD GBUKA profile at the internet when i was
    searching for help on how i can get pregnant Quickly i contacted him to
    help me out, he said he will cast a spell that will make me sleep with my
    partner and get pregnant, he cast the spell for me and ask me to go and
    have sex with my partner so i did to my greatest surprise i became pregnant
    after some weeks, with so much joy in my heart i want to share this out to
    everyone in need that i have found favor in the hands of GREAT LORD GBUKA,
    contact him now to via email : lordgbukasherine34@gmail.com or on mobile
    number on:+2348060933128,Casey Deborah

  • Luca Gabriella



    contact him today via _ lordgbukasherine34@gmail.com OR his quick contact +2348060933128


  • desperateformorebabies

    I too have been going through similar situation. two and a half years of trying and nothing. my heart is dying inside and my spirits get torn every time I see a mother blessed with a child, a jealous feeling but yet happiness because I realize that maybe they don’t see the special gift they have been given. every month I go through these crazy ups and downs of depression and my husband tries, but doesn’t quite understand. in this last year I had thrown a baby shower for my sister, who so deserved to have a baby after her battle of about 10 years trying. and I was in the room while she gave birth, even coaching her along the whole time. but still it was so hard to keep the tears from falling, and sometimes I had to lie and say I was crying because I was just so happy for her, even though I was happy for her I was more upset for myself and my husband. selfish, I know but it is a feeling I can’t get rid of at times, when it comes to us trying to get pregnant. my doctors also tell me there nothing wrong everything looks good down there, but still no baby to show for it. repeatedly I hear just relax it’ll happen when the time is right but I feel like that’s just a smack in the face. people don’t get how much it really hurts to want to be pregnant and not be able to. they just blow it off as if someone bought a scratch off ticket and didn’t win. I have no one to talk to about this and thought sharing here may help me and other women in the same situation know they are not the only ones either. although it sure feel that way a lot!

    • thewonderer

      I been to about 3-4 different doctors about my situation and Evey doctor said something else it tares me apart everytime I see new borns the doctors said that I am not olavlting then there was one that said she don’t know be hat is wrong I just with I new what to do I gave up going to Dr’s cause o was sick of every time I walked into a doctors office I would get my heart torn out from my chest

    • A1976

      Hi , ok woman dont feel bad. It took ten years and here i am pregnant. But pregnancy is soooo horrible i feel why i indulged into this. I am jealous that some people cannot get pregnant. Wow no severe morning sickness to deal with etc etc. i will trade places with u in a heartbeat.

  • Great article, shame about the horrendous comments.

  • Great article, shame about the horrendous comments.

  • Cayla Mella

    The first time i got married every body in my husband family love me but after five years they begins to develop hatress for me and i became unhappy because i was unable to bear children and one faithful day i discover a testimony through the internet of a woman who was having same problem with me and it was solved by prince idialu the great man who help her with root and herb , so i contact him with the email address i saw in the testimony after the work of prince idialu i got pregnant 4weeks later because it was my ovulation time after my period and now i am happy because the email adress i found the man who owns it prince idialu help me for good and now am eight months pregnat and i know i am going to give birth by december because he told me that entelope give birth without losing a child, pls reach him that man is real i have tested and trusted you will conceive naturally without any spiritual things email him via : spellcasttemple@gmail.com or call him via:+2347051705853

  • Deb Millar

    My name is Deb Millar and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful man DR OFURE a spell caster in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started 5 months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behaviour, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 4th of April 20st 2:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things, that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he want to quit the marriage which i have built for over 6 years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family’s and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare, rent-age and all of it, i really went through hair. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet DR OFRUE, i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after 2das my husband called me Telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily as husband and wife, i still can believe it just too real to be real it highly unbelievable on this great joy for those of you that are going through heart broke or any kind of problem i must tell you this great man has the power to solve any problem hear is the great man email:Ofurelovespell@gmail.com. or you can his cell phone on +2348149158514.,

  • Deb Millar

    My name is Deb Millar and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful man DR OFURE a spell caster in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started 5 months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behaviour, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 4th of April 20st 2:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things, that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he want to quit the marriage which i have built for over 6 years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family’s and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare, rent-age and all of it, i really went through hair. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet DR OFRUE, i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after 2das my husband called me Telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily as husband and wife, i still can believe it just too real to be real it highly unbelievable on this great joy for those of you that are going through heart broke or any kind of problem i must tell you this great man has the power to solve any problem hear is the great man email:Ofurelovespell@gmail.com. or you can his cell phone on +2348149158514

  • Brown Mark

    My name is Brown Mark and am from USA,let me share this testimony to the world to hear about him too this man really exit I was HIV positive over 6year I have being in medication and I try to look for cure to my problem and I go through internet doctor and I found a tradition named DR. CAFAI i contacted cafaispiritualtemple@yahoo.com for help he give me all his laws and rule that if I get cured I should write about him and that is what am doing now, this man ask for some information about me, which I give him this man cure me from HIV what a great man thank for your help when he get the information he told me that he is about to work on it 20 to 30 minute this man email me and told me what to do for the curing which I did after all the things needed for the cure is provide the man call me in 45mins later and tell me to go for test what a great day to me I was negative thanks Dr CAFAi you can through his email address,cafaispiritualtemple@yahoo.com or his phone number +234 7067607073

  • Patty

    i want to express how grateful i am, because i finally got what i have been looking for. My husband left me and our kids i have tried all my possible best to reach him but is like every time i tried, i am making things worst for myself. But thank the God that lead me to DR OYE of ABUYE SPELL TEMPLE, he helped me to restore the love my husband had for me back within 3days of me contacting him. he came back just as DR OYE told me, he will make him come back. if you are in situation like this kindly contact DR OYE on his email abuyespelltemple@gmail.com

  • Lucas Aaron

    I have read testimonies about this great
    man called Dr. Sambo how he helped people to get pregnant and also help
    people to cure HIV with his herbal medicine, so i decided to give him a
    try, i am here today to give my own testimony on how this great man
    helped me to cure my HIV disease and also helped my sister to get
    pregnant, i just told him and he said he was going to work on it
    miraculously and in a short period of time i was lifted from these
    terrible disease. And it took my sister just a week to get pregnant
    after he was done. Contact this great man and He will help you no matter
    the the problem you are facing. Email him at sambolaherbalcurecentre@gmail.com

  • sandra martins


    I never use to believe in spell casting until i met Dr wellborn a powerful spell caster who helped me to be a happy person again. My name is Sandra martins and i reside in CANADA. After 3 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with three kids. I felt like my life was about to end and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a Great spell caster called Dr wellborn which i met online on one faithful day when I was browsing CANADA Athrough the internet, i came across a lot of testimonies about this particular Great spell caster how he has helped so many people. he has helped people to bring back their Ex lover, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer and other sickness, and so on. I also came across a testimony, it was about a woman called Amanda, she testified about how his spell made her to be pregnant after so many years of bareness and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr wellborn email address. After reading all these, i decided to give it a try and i contacted him and explained my problem to him and he assured me that in less than 48 hours, my husband will call me and beg for forgiveness but i thought it will not work. When he had finished casting the spell, the next day my husband called me and he was begging for forgiveness just as Dr wellborn said. This is not brain washing and after the spell has been cast, i realized that my husband love me like never before and the spell caster opened him up to know how much i love him and how much love we need to share. We are even happier now than before. Dr wellborn is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and a genuine spell caster to solve all your problems contact Dr wellborn now on wellbornspelltemple@gmail.com he will help you solve your problems. Once again thank you Dr wellborn for your good deeds.

    Sandra martins _CANADA

  • camille

    My name is Camille bruno Valdez my partner and I have been trying for a baby for over two years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 5 months before somebody told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email; arewaspecialisttemple@yahoo.com, for him to help us, then we told him our problem, he told us that we will either conceive in February 2014 or March 2014,but after two years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I’m glad we came to Dr Dahiru, Because his pregnancy spell cast put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email: arewaspecialisttemple@yahoo.com if you are trying to get a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine

  • Mariam Mercy

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    or are you on a black magic spell and you need a spell caster? we are also specializing in the fields of a spell of Love one back, Money, Power, Success, Sickness, Pregnancy, Marriage, Job, Protection, Lottery, Court Case, Luck. etc. contact ebhodaghespell@gmail.com

  • sarah

    Testimony On A Spell Caster Who help me to get pregnant, So me and my HUSBAND have been trying for a baby for the last 2 years now and to all in vein. I don’t have a regular cycle so it is hard for me to tell when I’m ovulating or not, but we always have sex at least 2 times a week, sometimes more. I know it can take up to 9 months to conceive but everyone i know who have had a baby have conceived within 2-3months of trying and it is was really hurting me so badly. My HUSBAND had a fertility test about a year ago and his sperm were fine. I’m thinking it could be a problem with me but I’ve never had any symptoms of any problems. My HUSBAND does smoke and have the occasional drink, and i used to smoke and also have the occasional drink. i know I’m slightly overweight but that shouldn’t affect our chances too much,one faithful day my friend told me to contact a spell caster that help sister, then i contact the MAXI OWOLABI on this email: owolabispelltemple@yandex.com. DR. MAXI OWOLABI told us all our problem and promise to help us, he told us that 2 month later i will be pregnant, with the faith in me i believed him but my husband never believe. And after 2months later i was really pregnant and i gave birth to a set of twin, a girl and a boy. what a wonderful spell caster. Once again contact him with his email if you need any kind of help: owolabispelltemple@yandex.com Thanks.

  • Jude

    I am Victoria Glen from USA i want to say hallelujah to lord for using Mama Alisha Lura of getyourexbacksolutionspell@gmail.com to bless my womb, i have been married for the past 10year without a child i have look for all kind of help that can make me get pregnant but nothing works, but through an insight i came across Mama Alisha Lura profile at the internet when i was searching for help on how i can get a baby, Quickly i contacted him to help me out, he said he will cast a spell that will make me sleep with my partner and get pregnant so he said he need to buy some of the other items he will use in casting the spell from the market that he want me to send him the money he will use in buying the items so i gave him the money and he cast the spell for me and ask me to go and lie with my partner so i did to my greatest surprise i became pregnant after that week so with so much joy in my heart i want to share this out to everyone in need that i have found favor in the hands of Mama Alisha Lura of getyourexbacksolutionspell@gmail.com, contact her now to via email : getyourexbacksolutionspell@gmail.com or you can visit her website on http://weeblyalishaluraspell.weebly.com/available-spells.html

  • Jude

    Victoria Gle

  • Marisa Martin

    my name is Marisa Martin from Canada, i want to testify to the general public how my relationship was restored back by the great power’s of dr agbeve after three months of loneliness, my ex-lover called me after my contact with dr agbeve that he want us to come back and start a good home, now we are happily married with two kids. All thanks to dr agbeve for his spiritual help. You can contact him on his email if you have similar problem, or any solution you may need, job, divorce, promotion in you place of work, healing,money spell, etc.you can Contact him via email:agbevespellhome@gmail.com or you can also reach him directly on his cell phone number +2348110745073

  • Tami

    I was married for 8years with out any child,because of this my husband start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about Prophet Osaze from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Prophet Osaze for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address:spirituallove@hotmail. com

  • Lidia Mckinney

    Hello i want to share my testimony on how i married for the pass 12yrs without even conceiving a baby and i have done all the medical check up and the doctors said am okay yet i was still unable to conceive until one faith days i was on the internet doing some research and i saw a testimony share by someone on how a man call Dr. Ogbefun help her to get conceive a baby after casting a pregnancy for her and i have no option than to also contact this man on this same email which is miracletemple11@gmail.com and to my greatest surprise after he has cast the spell for me and he told me told have sex with my husband and i did as he instructed me and to God be the glory at the end of the month i miss my period and i want for hospital for check up again and the doctor said and two weeks pregnant and i was so surprise and all this all came through with the help of Dr Ogbefun once again contact him miracletemple11@gmail.com or call him on +2347060552255 for your help because he just save my marriage and i know many of you are out there with the same problem don’t hesitate to contact him now

  • kathy

    it’s sad, I am 43 and never was able to have kids, it is unfair and only gets sadder as each year passes. I have a cycle on time every month nothing. A cruel joke.

    • Lucas Aaron

      HELLO, i have read testimonies about this great
      man called Dr. Sambo how he helped people to get pregnant and also help
      people to cure HIV with his herbal medicine, so i decided to give him a
      try, i am here today to give my own testimony on how this great man
      helped me to cure my HIV disease and also helped my sister to get
      pregnant, i just told him and he said he was going to work on it
      miraculously and in a short period of time i was lifted from these
      terrible disease. And it took my sister just a week to get pregnant
      after he was done. Contact this great man and He will help you no matter
      the the problem you are facing. Email him at sambolaherbalcurecentre@gmail.com

    • Dana

      Hi Kathy, I am 43 too and I have never had any problems with my cycles either. At my 40 I still had a good count of eggs. During the last year I had three IVFs, all unsuccessful. I was left with only few options, either to use a donor egg, or adopt. So… I guess it is the end of the road for me.

      • kathy

        I’m so sorry Dana. I understand your grief. Got teary eye reading your reply. I know people who are upset because they only have one. If only I was so blessed. To never be called mom or grandma is just too sad.

  • Bradley Speck

    I was married for 9years without any child,because of this my husband
    started acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending
    time with me anymore.So i became very sad and lost in life because my
    doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make
    life so hard for me and my family.my sister inlaw told me about
    DR MALAA from the Internet,how he has helped people
    with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him
    and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days
    later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me
    he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i
    got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are now happy with
    ourselves. Thanks to (Dr MALAA) for saving my relationship and for
    also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested
    to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell
    caster email address is (BESTSPELLHOME@GMAIL.COM) or you can call his mobile phone on+2348159645271. thanks for your time…

  • how i got back my lover





  • Jerry mike

    Hello friends, an awesome and amazing testimony about a
    Great spell
    caster i really love to share. My name is Jerry Mike from the United
    States. Getting my wife back is what i least expected and could never
    imagine. I and my wife have been married for five years and we have been
    living happily but all of a sudden she changed completely and turned
    away from me and i never knew what was going on, i tried to ask her but
    she refused to tell me what the problem is, and as time went on she
    sought for a divorce. I was so worried and confused, and i did all my
    possible best to get her back but it was all in vain and i thought all
    hope was lost, and during my search for a way out, a friend of mine who
    had similar problem told me about a great spell caster called Great
    Ovoko who helped him to solve his problem. I never use to believe in
    spell casting in my entire life because i never thought it will work
    but i tried to give this man a chance and to my greatest surprise, he
    did his work and it yielded a positive result and i was able to get my
    wife back. Even after the spell caster did his work, i discovered that
    my wife fell so much in love with me like never before. This spell
    casting isn’t brain washing but he opened up her eyes to see how much i
    love and needed her, and now i am a happy man again and so i am using
    this opportunity to tell anyone having the same or similar problem to
    visit him on Ovokolovespell@gmail. com and he will help you because
    is so real and trust worthy. TRUST HIM AND DON’T ASK TOO MANY
    thank you Great Ovoko and may your gods always reward you for your good

  • Clara Thompson

    Hello, To all my fellow ladies out there who are still finding them selves of my old situation,my name is CLARA THOMPSON and i am here to tell you all about my life this is my testimony and the great experience i have had with life, i was married for good 15years with no issue(child) i was so worried my husband was getting furious i never blamed him because he was very patient with me since all this years,i needed help so bad i went to different hospitals to see what was wrong with my womb and why i cant give birth to my own baby.the doctors always confirm that i don’t have a problem,it hurts me deep when ever i see my friends breast feeding their own babies and also inviting me for their baby shower and naming ceremonies.i had no option i always attended hoping that one day i will blessed with my own child.my life was turned upside down i was ashamed of my self my mother was putting pressure on my husband to get another wife my husband declined because he truly loves me and wanted me to be the mother of his children,i needed help and had no where else to turn to.till a very good day when i was browsing through the internet i read about a spell caster that helps people to get their lover back win their money back,i never saw anything referring to the help of childlessness i just had to try this great spell caster,i contacted the spell and told him about my problem and he told me that my problem is very easy for him to handle i was shocked and thought maybe he is just trying to take advantage of my present situation,i gave it a thought and finally concluded on giving it a try.i did all the spell caster required and he told me to go and make love with my husband.this happen in June 12-2012 and i got pregnant i was so happy and last year February 22 -2013 i got my first baby girl (DISNEY) i was very thankful to this great spell caster for the great help he has rendered and for coming to my rescue when everything i had turned against me now i have my life back and my husband is so happy with me and he is telling me about having a another child for him as soon as possible.i want to use this medium or opportunity to tell all my fellow ladies who are going through my previous situation that all hope is not lost if you need the help of this great spell caster you can contact him via email extremesolutiontemple@hotmail.com or via phone number on:+2348052168467 you might just be the next to give your own testimony,

  • sad

    Just brought me to tears. I am 28 years old and have been trying for the past 5-6 years. My boyfriend has 2 children from a previous relationship. Almost every time we fight he brings up my infertility. He will say things like, if I was with another woman I would have 2-3 more kids by now. It makes me feel soooo horrible. I wish I could get pregnant. I feel so useless, and embarrassed. What is wrong with me? Why ME?

    • Autumn

      I’m so sorry. I cannot BELEIVE that your boyfriend would ever say such an emotionally abusive thing to you. Clearly he has no idea what you are going through and the mental/physical weight of being a woman who cannot seem to get pregnant when everyone else around seems to do so just as easily as sneezing. No offense but, if someone who should care about you and the children you will have in the future would say something like that to you, he doesn’t seem fit to be a father himself. Don’t blame yourself. Your time to be a mom will come and when it does it will be with a child who life will fit perfectly with yours.

    • Lucas Aaron

      i have read testimonies about this great
      man called Dr. Sambo how he helped people to get pregnant and also help
      people to cure HIV with his herbal medicine, so i decided to give him a
      try, i am here today to give my own testimony on how this great man
      helped me to cure my HIV disease and also helped my sister to get
      pregnant, i just told him and he said he was going to work on it
      miraculously and in a short period of time i was lifted from these
      terrible disease. And it took my sister just a week to get pregnant
      after he was done. Contact this great man and He will help you no matter
      the the problem you are facing. Email him at sambolaherbalcurecentre@gmail.com

  • vicki

    My name is Vicki, and I live in Charlotte, NC with my five…yes five…spoiled rotten cats. This blog is a documentary of my my life’s journey, its ups and its downs, and how God is bringing beauty from the ashes in my life. until i met oduwa legba who help me out and this is his details; +2348165061583 or oduwalegba@outlook.com

  • roselyn

    Great article. I am a similar age and have several friends who are facing the same realization you are, and at times, it can be heart-breaking, though they still lead fantastic lives. I struggle with medical infertility, and learned about it only after waiting until after grad school to get pregnant, but do not find the sympathy you refer to, unless,until i met oduwa legba who help me out and this is his details; +2348165061583 or oduwalegba@outlook.com

  • love

    when i first got married every body in my husband life love me but after five years they turn against me because i was unable to bear children and one faithful day i discover a testimony through the internet and now i am happy because the email address i found the man who owns it help me for good and now am eight months pregnant and i know i am going going to give birth because he told me that antelope give birth without losing a child,until i met oduwa legba who help me out and this is his details; +2348165061583 or oduwalegba@outlook.com

  • george W

    look at me my fellow women am here to say to you not to give up please because a life dog is better than a dead lion when i was 7years barren i had no hope that i will ever get pregnant but one day i meet this person through the internet who resurrected my hope and told me that i will get pregnant after the evil woman worrying my life has died and after 9days a woman living close to me died of stomach attack and before the dead she told me that she was responsible for my childlessness and now am having two boys and my life has been restored, please reach him +2348165061583 or oduwalegba@outlook.com

  • Sofia

    everything you said is exactly what i feel. but it has gotten to the point that i watch a movie and see a baby and all i want to do is cry. it is so unfair. and to make it worse i know women having abortions on a regular basis. i have worked with children since i was 16 years old in a hospital and i just can’t understand why. Why can’t i have children? why is it so easy for everyone else? I am starting to hate myself. it’s so hard. and i feel like no one understands.

  • Charlene

    I can relate. We have been trying for 5 years starting when I was still in my 30s. 2 years ago, I joined FF and a private group of wonderful woman, who I am still connected with on Facebook. All of them conceived and had a child, except me. Some went on to a second child. While it took time, we did manage to get pregnant in the last three years. I lost all 6 pregnancies to miscarriage by the 8th week. My husband loves me very much and says he is OK with it, but I still feel broken. Fertility treatments are not an option and each loss takes a small piece of my soul. I know I should feel lucky to even get pregnant at all, but it is not any easier when you lose the baby so many times. I work in an office where there is always someone new pregnant. Especially some that were pregnant around the same time I was. My time for this is fading away as each year goes by. Next month I will be 43, and my window is closing for have a child of my own with my husband. I find it ironic that I spent so many years being a responsible person and using protection, and then I finally married my love and now cannot have a child of my own.

    • pat

      charlene, have you tried testing for genetic trombophilies?

  • JoJo

    Finally a group that is for those that have not got their BFP! I too am one of those women, who desperately would love to be a mother, and reality is likely I never will be. I am 39 DH is 47 and he has low sperm count and it seems I may be experiencing early menopause….so now I am trying to make some good of it, offer comfort to others, thinking of sharing our story–to help others who struggle, and also to help me–I still struggle even after 20 years, yes that is right no kids TTC for 20 years. My first time here.

  • So sad

    Thank you so much everyone for sharing your stories of pain. I too am with you, so desperately trying for a baby for 2 years with no success. Doctors cannot find any problems with me or my husband. It feels like everyone in the world has a baby except me. I know that I am so lucky to have family, health and a wonderful husband who loves me, but somehow it does not feel like enough all the time. I also feel like I am failing him. I am so afraid that our future will be childless. Just got my period today. Mega blues. Good luck to everyone. Maybe our joint prayers will help us find success. Trying to be hopeful.

    • JoJo

      Do not feel inferior or like a failure, that will not help you or your husband. I know it is difficult I to have felt these things–I have been ttc for 20 years and have never yet. Plan for the worst and accept it, know God has a plan for you and as much as you want children maybe that is not in the plan for you. No one wants to hear these things I didn’t either however do not waste your life waiting for the moment and the BFP, keep living life and don’t dwell on it…for it may happen and it may not, and weeks can turn to months and to years, and live a happy life not one obsessed by having a baby!!

  • Heather

    We are trying to get pregnant and it is not happening. I am 31 turning 32 this year. My best friend called and told me the FIRST TIME they tried she got pregnant. My other friend just had her baby. Then there is me. I am trying so hard to not feel sad. I want to just let it go and if I don’t .. I don’t. I am praying and trusting God that it will happen if He wants it to happen as there is nothing else I can do. My heart aches when I have to talk about babies with my friends, my sister-in-law who has 3 already and complains because she wants more. I just ask for one. Just one and I will be happy. I feel like a failure. All my friends have kids running around at our dinner parties, get togethers and they are all talking about their children and I have nothing to say. I feel I am an out-cast. Unworthy to speak as I have no idea. I want to travel .. be a different sort of person .. I will have an excuse as to why we have no children. “She is a world traveler” people will say. They won’t say “she is the one who is unable to have children”.

    • Jjb

      Strangely i am in the exact same position. I say and feel exactly how you do all the way down to the age a d traveling. You are not alone 🙂

    • JoJo

      I feel your pain, I really do…Avoid those situations give yourself permission I finally did–took me 15 years but it isn’t worth the torture, the other thing I finally did was got honest real honest, let other people know we couldn’t conceive and didn’t want to hear their tales of wo–oh I wanted 5 not four, I wanted 2 not 3, oh they are so much work, and all their dumb good advice, just wait, oh you will have one, just relax etc…no we wont 20 yrs ttc–we have none and now the clock has ran out…we wont have any, I don’t go where it is painful, family or not, it is torture so we don’t go and if they don’t understand too bad, and they don’t understand, how could they ??? they have kids, we don’t. be different fill your lives with other things we did and we are still very happily married and blessed in other ways–and we will never have teenagers 🙂 just kidding…please don’t torture yourself or feel you need to endure those things, get some childless couple friends or go on your own!!

  • Autumn

    I have been trying to get pregnant for 5 years. I have had 4 miscarriages all before 10 weeks. I am just devastated. I just turned 35 and everyone keeps asking me when am I gonna have a baby. I don’t know what’s worse not being able to get pregnant or continued miscarriages. I am so sad and depressed. I feel so alone. No one around me has had fertility issues. I just continue to watch everyone around me have babies. I’m so glad I came here. It feels good to know I’m not alone. God bless all of you ladies. May we all get to become mothers one day.

    • JoJo

      and may you still have peace and happiness if you do not get to be a mom. God has a plan, as hard as it is –trust and believe that…ttc 20 yrs 39 yrs old, no babies yet….and likely will never be….live your life it is okay to be child less it is okay…accept his plan!

    • lillybet

      I know how it feels I have had 8 misscarges and I suffer from PSOS I don’t feel like a woman it kills me I’m having to plan my sisters baby shower and feel like screaming but i have to look happy because if I don’t I get the ‘aww you will be a mum one day’ look I just no I won’t I’m the only female in my family who hasn’t had a child and it makes me so angry and sad

  • Bubbulu mom

    I am 30 and married for 9 years. I have a 8 yr old son… I am trying for second child almost 3 yrs with fertility treatment so fr numerous miscarriages . Nothing seems to be working. Very much frustrated my husband says be happy with our son,but I always feel somebody is missing in my life.

    • Amy

      dear god you were able to have one baby! some of us cant even have one! ungrateful makes me even more angry

      • JoJo

        I am sure she doesn’t even realize how blessed she is to have the one, and as a person struggling with fertility we can get her frustration on one level and on another feel angry as she should be happy with just one…she doesn’t mean to be hurtful but trust me it does hurt…I am with you 20 yrs ttc and 39 yrs old….not looking good for me…

    • JoJo

      I am sure you do however please be grateful for what you have not what you don’t…some of us have none and never will. it is frustrating I know that first hand. cherish the one you have and if that is all you get you must be satisfied.

  • shawntel wilson

    I have 3kids already,but my husband had a child but the female LOST it and we try and nothing I been to the doctor a lot and they say I am fine but nothing,my first came quickly my second 3yrs later n the 3rd 4YRS later now it’s 11YRS since last child I get regular checks and I FINE they are worried about me getting pregnant then anything but so far nothing

  • kim

    I have been trying for 3 years now. I have been on clomid, femera I’ve had my tube checked and my cervical mucus checked. Everything comes back ok. My husband has had 2 boys so I know it’s not him. I just don’t understand how so many women who don’t even won’t babies, have but women like us can’t! ? I use to not get frustrated with ppl when they say “oh just give it time” it’s not your time yet” but now I can’t even stand to hear those words! I feel like we’ll what is even the point , why if I can’t have kids why can’t I just not care and be like the ones who try everything to prevent pregnancy! I get so mad at myself bc the one thing that makes us so great is making a baby, bringing life into this world and I can’t! I do so much ive read everything possible on ttc . I dream about having a child and guess that will be the only thing I have close to being a mom is just in my dreams.

    • JoJo

      people don’t know what else to say, and until you have ttc and cant they don’t get it–I have ttc for 20 yrs and cant…don’t be sure it isn’t your husband semen/sperm can change at anytime, women have had 3 babies and then cant have anymore and it is her, he could have something wrong now too, a guy is so easy to check, id start there for sure….good luck to you!

      • Alison

        I am a 40 yr old woman and I have just been told that I will never have children after 4 failed attempts at Ivf I’m now struggling to know how I feel about this… I get all the platitudes from people saying they know how I feel but how do they know 1 when I don’t wen know and 2 they have children

    • kvh

      that is certainly NOT the one thing that makes us great and shame on society for making you believe that.


    My Name is MARIAN DUSS, I wish to share my testimonies with the general
    public about what this man called Dr YAKUBU of( lovespellhome@live.com ]
    has just done for me , this man has just did what I thought nobody will
    ever do for me, I was HIV positive when
    one of my family friend introduce this man to me, I never believed that
    great DR YAKUBU could do this, when I contacted him on this same issue
    on ground, he casted some spell for me and gave me some parcel to drink,
    now I am so happy to say that the virus I was having In my body have
    left me. All thanks to DR YAKUBU. If you are out there passing through
    this same kind of problems you can contact him today on his mail (
    and he will also help you as well with his great spell caster
    Should You Really “Stay Friends” Afte

  • cocoalove007

    I know what you are going through. I too have been trying for a while, got happy, had a miscarriage, and nothing since. I have been with this man since i was in high school too. we just celebrated our second year of marriage and i cannot, for the life of me, figure out why, at the age of 24, I have yet to fall and stay pregnant. It’ll be a year since I’ve been off the Pill, and I don’t want to hear anyone say ‘be patient, it’ll happen’…..but all my friends and sisters are now mothers, by ‘accident’ they say. I’ve been planning for day one, have a heap of baby things…..but no baby, and dwindling hope. Thank you for allowing me to rant a bit.

    • JoJo

      rant away…..it is tough and I share your pain…20 yrs ttc with my jr high sweet heart, and now 39 and time is running out…

  • anounymous

    Life was colourless before Doc Obodo helped me with a love spell to reunite with the father of my children. My will to live and enjoy life is back now that my family is saved. I will never feel lonely again. Thank you Doc Obodo of templeofanswer@hotmail.co.uk for bringing my husband back to me! need help call Doc @ +2348155425481

    Karen, UK

  • Silvana


    Thak PRINCE IDIALU for the help of making me conceive at last after 6years of marriage without a child,oh Thank God PRINCE IDIALU has surprise me with a woderful pregnancy will be a mother soon all thanks to PRINCE IDIALU.It really works finaly will be a mother soon.email :princeidialu@outlook.com to see the wonderful hand work of him or call him via:+2348107996889

  • madam joy

    my name is madam joy i want to testify to the word about a great man who has made it possible for me to have a child of my own after4years of barrenness i have nothing but shame until a friend of mine introduced me to a great man by name priest Obom of solutiontemple220@gmail.com, he made some enchantment on my be-half and after 3months i fell always dizzy and then i went to see my doctor who discovered that i was 2months pregnant, i feinted at the moment because i was so surprise i never new that it will work thanks to priest Obom who made it possible for i to have a child of my own and i believe he will do yours today ,you can email him via email: solutiontemple220@gmail.com

  • lucy

    I can’t thank you enough Email: ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com for all that you have done for me. About a year ago I my partner had a misunderstanding that lead to break up, we had both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. He ended up moving away from me to pursue a new life. I knew in my heart that he would be the only one to make me happy. I was relieved when I found your site and what you had to offer. I requested 3 to 4 day casting of the reunite us love spell and within 4days Denny company had relocated him back to our hometown where I still lived. We immediately reconnected and move in with each other i am so happy that i found you and i was all patient to following your order thank you Dr Ekaka….

  • Justina armada

    Juliet armada

    good day every man am a woman without a child until i meet a man who really gave me a help and now am a happy woman and i want you to contact him via email priestokha@gmail.com

  • TTCsince2007

    Its the worst feeling ever.. to feel less woman because you can not have a child.. I’m told to adopt .. Id love to but it’s scary !! I’m 38 I have PCOS .. I actually tell my husband to leave me to find a new wife to have a family with… the anger .. the depression..the guilt of not being able to give him and I what we’ve always wanted… I’m in tears feeling lost and alone .. I’m sorry for all of us… we’re not alone and if anyone feels as I do I know it truly sucks 🙁

    • nadineOrt

      I wish I could reach through this screen and hug you!

    • JoJo

      I too feel your pain, but do not let it ruin your life or your relationship….that would suck, there are worse things then not being able to have a baby. Im 39 and DH and I have been ttc for 20 years…you are not alone..hang in there be a good wife don’t make 2 problems out of 1 I know it is hard. I have had your feelings from time to time, infertility is tough but a depressed infertile person is worse, a infertile angry person is worse….

    • sofia

      i feel your pain. i have PCOS and broken adrenal gland and too much testosterone. and Cysts burst recently!!! pain, anger, i understand. i want a child more than anything. and sometimes it makes me more mad when my husband understands and says he doesn’t want another woman. i get even more mad when he prays for me. or says it is what God wants. It feels unfair and i hope you get your miracle.

  • BelieveHopeFaith

    I am 28 married and been trying for 2 years the doctors can’t explain what’s wrong with me. It breaks my heart to know that there is so many of us going through this. The feeling just gets worse with everyday that goes by. It’s so hard to be positive. Treatments are so mentally and emotionally draining. After 10 yrs together of talking growing together speaking of the family we one day would have we find ourselves here. It’s like a nightmare we cannot wait up from

    • BelieveHopeFaith

      I’ve been following this blog for a while and ladies stay strong. Two yrs have passed since I a last posted and nothing has changed been to new doctors and so far nothing I still have hope that something will change. Maybe somehow I can ovulate maybe they can fix me. I’d like to say it gets easier but that’s a lie it seems to get harder and the more ppl in ur life having babies the harder it gets. Your not alone out there.

  • Kitkitty

    I feel this way as well fustrated useless many times when i go to have intercourse with my partner i feel useless his great the love of my life we have been together 4 years and have never used protection and i havent got pregnant am 20 years old i pray to God i can have a baby is my desire and his also but if i cant ill have to let him go and let him find someone he can form a family with evan do it would hurt so bad

  • Susanlucky James

    oh… thank you priestokha for making me a mother again imagine i was told i won,t conceive again because i have fibroid said the doctor but when i meet priestokha he told me not to worry and i believe him oh………. am just happy. for i now have a baby girl, reach him via email: priestokha@gmail.com

  • jennish

    I want to testify of what a spell caster did for me and my
    hubby.we have been married since 2007 without a sign of pregnancy.I went
    off birth control then and did not have a period.my gyro gave me
    progesterone to jump-start a period and it did.,but i did not have
    another one.we did another round of progesterone followed by 100mg
    clomid for 5 months,we followed all doctors instructions but all to no
    avail.I have been buying ovulation kits pregnancy test AND i finally got
    3 test when i was ovulating! So ever since that we been trying for
    years now! Well i was very confused because i keep taking ept test AND
    they all keep turning out to b negative! I really want a baby girl while
    my hubby want a baby boy LOLL! I think maybe we are just trying to
    hard, What i can tell you is that its been so many years now and i still
    yet do not have my period??nobody to help because every body around us
    was already at the verge of losing their faith on us.no were to run to
    until one faithful day i was reading a magazine and i stumble on a page
    were i found topic or a head line {A SPELL CASTER} who can heal someone
    from HIV AND AIDS,bring back your EX,enlarge your BREAST,help you win a
    VISA LOTTERY,losing your WEIGHT and even get six PACKS AND flatten your
    BELLY,I gave him a try and before i could no it Dr OJuku rescue me from
    my problem by casting a spell for me and told me to go and make love
    with my hubby,then nine months after the spell and making love with my
    husband i delivered a twins A BOY AND A GIRL.This spell caster name is
    Dr Ojuku so many people have witness his wonderful work..He is nice,
    contact him on (droyekpenspelltemple@outlook.com if you are in any
    predicament Hume•Thanks so very much!! All thanks to Dr Ojuku

  • philomena john

    Susan Moses
    i want to thank priest okha, and his favor in my condition of know have a child over 12years of barrenness my husband was not happy with me till i met a friend of mine who priest okha,restored a baby boy in his home,it also did to me there is nothing priest okha,can not do please this is email address:priestokha@gmail.com

  • Lisa

    my husband and I have been trying for years and married for 6- I just feel so broken and I cant afford the 16500 IVF and they cant tell me what is wrong with me. I am so broken and heart broken. I’m the old friend in my friend group that doesn’t have children-some people don’t understand and I just feel broken.

  • TM

    I have been trying for a year and still not pregnant. I’ve been so depressed and feel hopeless at time. Watching friends and family become pregnant has not been easy for me. It’s been a rough year!

    • John E Garver

      My wife was having similar problem with you,,,,,then 1 day she told me of a man that helped her friend in the same issue,she said he was a great spell caster,@first i was shocked,because we are Christians.
      But we later agreed,we contacted him through his mail,which we were told to buy some items for the spell casting,After that 2weeks later she missed her period.
      we were so shocked of the way his spells work very fast.
      contact him on his mail

  • sally

    I am 28 and not pregnant even after an yr of trying. it sucks life out of life 🙁

  • happy

    I have been with my husband for 26 years the pain I have endured has been indescribable. We have had 3 ivf attempts the first was successful but I miscarried. I always felt it was never going to happen and it has nt. The depression is never ending and the family and friends who have been pregnant and have made such a mess of it is immeasurable. But hang on there is light at the end of the tunnel I foster now and I have best of both worlds. I have the best husband in the world, I can t believe we are still together after what we have been through. ( don t let anyone give you good luck stories its not what you need right now). When I look at our friends and what they are going through no thank you and there will be times when you feel like the bottom has fallen out of your world but you will get through it. I did. Good luck we are special and don t forget it x

    • doris

      i was lost of hope but now you have brought it back to me thank you priestokha for making me a mother. contact mail address: priestokha@gmail.com.

    • JoJo

      thank you thank you….Ive been married and ttc for 20 years, and now really the time clock is out of time. I am social worker and see people everyday who probably should not be having children, however they give you and I the gift of being able to parent.. so they serve a purpose too. so thank you for fostering and giving back and thank you for not letting infertility ruin your life or marriage as it can…and thank you for saying not to listen to luck stories NO reality is you may NEVER have a BABY PERIOD!!! and if that is what happens as sad as it is you cannot do a thing about it so accept it..

  • K327

    I’m just seeing this but I’m currently going thru this. I’ve ALWAYS dreamed of being a mom one day. I knew it would be complicated when I found out I had uterine fibroids at the age of 27. I wasn’t ready at the time so I brushed it off. Years later they began giving me problems and I had a miscarriage in 2010 assuming due them. So, 2012 I met this guy who was the ideal gentleman and marriage material. We get involved then get married then I start looking into staring our family. 1st step I had the fibroids removed(37). That gave me more hope in completing our family. 3 month follow up I had a HSG done only to find out my tubes are now blocked. How disappointing and distraught I was. My husband was upset as well but wasn’t comforting me like I thought he would with him knowing how bad I wanted my own family. His has 2 kids already. So he REALLY dint know how it make me feel so less of a woman PERIOD!!

  • Ange0285

    I know this was written a long time ago, and I hope to god you finally have your miracle… And I know exactly how you feel. I was reading this crying because it sounds exactly like what I am currently going through.

    • Still hope

      I’m currently 27 and also feeling the same tears and pain cannot express the emotions I feel everyday. Try to keep strong and hold hope it’s all we have to hold on to. Best wishes going your way.

      • SamK

        my goodness we should all get together. Im 27, married 5 years to the love of my life. We have been trying since my 25th Bday. pelvic exam normal, HSG no results. My best friend is pregnant and I am outrageously happy for her, too bad I cant stop the tiny little voice that says, “how come you can be?” – makes me feel like a bad friend. i frequently tell myself “ok, your best friend is having a baby, thats going to make you the coolest aunt ever!” and i try not to think about how that just isn’t enough. All the “oopsies” in the world and i feeling hopeless 🙁 Sorry for the rant, just got my period 3 days late and feeling extra worse.

      • JoJo

        to all of you, I feel your pain, I do I spent 20 yrs ttc and still do nothing to prevent conception however time is running out due to my age…however please think of positive things and other ways you can be and do meaningful…don’t spend your whole young adult hood in misery –live it up enjoy life you don’t want to look back in 20-40 years and see you wasted your youth trying to have a baby and being miserable. it takes time but look at the positive if you can I know it is sad I have and do live it every day however I have 2 choices cry and be upset, or live my life and accept I am infertile and will be childless and trust me I don’t like it but it is the way it is so I may as well accept, no I will never like it but keep on living and having a good time rather than being depressed!

    • sonai

      True…..I am also crying. The feelings are so similar. I am also feeling the same. Feeling so hopeless today. 3 failed iui’s, not sure for the fourth. Not sure what is going wrong.

  • annonymous

    I am Eden from USA i want to thank DR.Monodu for the herbal drugs he gave me that made me pregnant within 21 days.Today i am a mother of 3 kids thanks to Dr.Monodu whose contact details are homesofchildren@gmail.com or you can call him on +2348064013760 for a better understanding for what i just said

  • Tiphani

    First off, I want to start by saying I agree completely to what you are saying. I feel that I was put on this earth to be a mother and a mother only. I remember when I was young I actually use to beg my mother to adopt a baby for me. I was that obsessed with the desire of becoming a mother one day. I have always believed I was unable to have children, even before I lost my virginity. I have always had this feeling in the back of my mind that told me so. When I lost my virginity I literally freaked out. I thought I was pregnant, nope. Thought I was pregnant a few times but nope. Was with him for 6years and decided to leave for other reasons. No baby. Afterwards I got with someone who previously had children so I was a bit happy that It could be possible. 3months later, I was pregnant. Ended with an Ectopic which hurt my possbility of getting pregnant again. We have “tried” but not religiously to become pregnant again but it seems almost pointless. Everyone around me is getting pregnant, my family members are getting pregnant. I… am not.

    I wish you luck in everything that you do and I hope one day you will be a mother. 🙂

  • Dinah

    My husband & I have been married for 5 years & just last year we decided we are finally ready to have a baby. I’m 36 & he’s 38. Talked to my OB & was put on clomid for 6 months but nothing. Last month I decided to see a specialist. He did some test one really hurts I think it was the HSG where they check if your tubes are open. He said mine was but I have low progesterone level & have endometriosis. He suggests I do IUI. The day before my ultrasound to check if I was ovulating so we can proceed to do IUI I had a panic attack at work. I guess there was so many things going on in my mind. How much it will cost us? Will it even work? Why is it so hard for me to get pregnant when everyone around me is. I have a co-worker who’s pregnant again with her 6th kid & I can’t even have one. Anyway I called the clinic & told the nurse that I can’t do it this time coz of all the stress & anxiety I’m feeling right now & I wanted to take a break. I’m trying to get better trying to clear my mind & finding ways to calm myself. I’m thinking of maybe seeing a therapist & I’m really relieved that I came across this online support group. I’m going this month & just hoping for the best.

  • I’m reading a lot of these comments and I’m sorry to all the women who have not gotten pregnant yet, but are still trying. There are women out there that are getting pregnant into their 40’s and who thought that they would never get pregnant.

    It is emotional and stressful, but please do not give up hope!

  • I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It is very unfortunate. Even after all the methods of trying to get pregnant it still doesn’t happen for everyone. There are other things like adoption, but it’s not the same thing.

    This was written a few years ago and I’m wondering what has happened since then? Update?

  • shani

    and soooo yes big fat not pregnant , after my second iui … anyway im so disappointed

  • az

    Zawadi, could you please tell us what traditional herbal medicine did your firend use?

  • az

    I feel like my whole life is meaningless. There is nothing to live for. but what can we do??

  • az

    I have been trying for 7 yrs and nothing happen.

  • zawadi

    a friend of mine tried for ten years she finally got a boy 2 years ago but she used traditional herbal medicine,

  • Marisol

    Ive been trying to conceive for over a yr and nothing has happened, i have 2 boys from a previous relationship but im trying to with my fiancé bow. He has no kids and also wants one….i really want another child..im just list on why i cant b…

  • Rochelle

    I just want to share this dream i had a day ago..i was in a black van i dont know why i was in the van but it was six guys in the van with me with guns talking about hiting some place up and the rest of they convo was like blah blah because i was now thinking how the heck im gonna get out the van lol..finally the van stops we jump out all i see is that we are in the ghetto for sure trash on the ground and the smell of trouble in the air we rush through this ally way which was fill with graffitti every where then one of the guys walked to this werid guy that had a boy with him that looked about 7 with a mean frown on his face he look like he played more with guns than toys and they talked to him like he was an adult like yo where the drugs at he like chill follow me b$#@% &im like wth? Lol then the boy said wait a second imma throw it down the steps wait in this hallway soon as he threw it cops came they ran back in the van the boy did too pulled off then one of the guys in the van tells the boy to gtfo he reply back like yo i cant i dont have no where to go the guy says so pointing to his gun the boy rolled his eyes hoped out the van & as soon as he took one step away i said wait! He turnt back around i put my hands around his waist & tickle him he had laughed? I was shocked i thought he’ll push me or somthing worst then i said your coming home with me in my monster voice & he smiled..that was my sign from god to adopt a child that really needs help a child that has the same hope in there heart to have a mother they never had like my hope in my heart for a child i never had.

  • shani

    im sorry i meant 20, 000 ,000 m

  • shani

    i had done one iui and BFN
    today i did my second iui i had two folis one on the left and one on the right diagnosed with unexplained infertility me and my hubby , soo fingers cross this time will do it sperm count 20,000 and motiliti 90% this is post wash sooo i cryed after the procedure it doesnt hurt or anything i just cryed formyself sooooo hard , its really hard want to have a baby and not getting one ;( my age 31 hubby 38

  • jessica

    hi all, i just want to say i am in the same boat as everyone here. im 24 years old, and my partner and i have been trying to fall pregnant for the last year. it has been a very up and down roller coaster for me and my partner. twice now i have missed a period and we thought yes we have finally done it only to go to the doctors and have a test done and it come back negative and then a day later i get my period. last month was the second time this has happened. for 3 days straight i didnt want to talk to anyone including my partner. we were fighting over stupid little things and our friends didnt know what was going on. my partner spoke to his best mate and it made him feel alot better. ive just had one of my best mates give birth to her second daughter another one of my mates is due in may 2013 and my sister in law is due june 2013. a few of my other mates are pregnant as well. it has been really hard to congratulate them as i feel so angry towards them. after speaking to my sister inlaw who had to go on clomid to regulate everything and had success at falling pregnant.

    it got me thinking, since my periods are so irregular and are all over the place i cant determine the exact time that i am ovulating. i went and saw my gp and he is now testing my hormone levels every week on the same day around the same time for the next 8 weeks to see what they are doing and how the react to the cycles of my body. i am also being tested for pcos and my partner is having his sperm count checked.

    what a lot of women dont know is that women actually have 3 cycles a month not 2 like we are all told.

    since we are getting married in september 2013 we are going to wait to see what the doctor comes back with from these tests and go from there. we are going to keep trying no matter what.

    i recommend that both of you get tested for pcos, sperm count and hormone levels before you start trying, that way you wont go on trying and trying only to get heart ache and then find out something is wrong. get tested before you start trying.

    good luck everyone and i hope that all our dreams of becoming a parent come true.


  • Joshua

    Man for long i have thought of a son then i realized i was a man

  • Dave

    Do you not realize that the planet you live on is currently way overpopulated, with no sign of slowing down? Why are you trying to get pregnant in the first place? That’s such a selfish concept.

    Why don’t you adopt a baby?

    WHAT A COCK !!!

  • Chandra

    Oh yes and I love when Everyone around you is pregnant and keeps asking when your finally gonna have kids!?!? I dreamed of it too, all I wanted as my “career” was to be a mother. After 35 years on this earth and 15 years with my husband I have come to the realization it won’t happen. I guess I’m ok with that. I still get angry at God and the world when I hear the horror stories of some mother or father killing their children. Or a child being taken away because of abuse and I wish I could ask god REALLY??? This is who you would choose to have a child over me???? Seems like unless you were either blessed with fertility or are rich your never going to have a chance or a shot at being a mother. I have come to terms that it will just be my husband and I for the rest of our lives. At least I will have someone to sit next to at all the little kid birthday parties and christenings. Good thing I like him 😉

  • Miriam

    I am exactly 25 years and we have been trying for about 1 year with no luck! I have been experiencing irregular cycles since we got married and I know the fault is in me.I don’t want to ruin my husband’s life in any way. He is always very nice to me. I am now seriously thinking to leave my husband and ask him to marry someone else who can be productive to him. I really have tears in my eyes writing all this. I dont know why this has happened to me. May be I am the most sinful person on earth. I madly love my husband and its killing me inside to leave him. I dont have the courage to convince him for someone else. and how would I survive without him? How would I face the world?
    I am totally clueless but I will not let my husband suffer!!!

  • Begermin

    Dear Prophet Aluta,
    I am writing to offer my thanks and deep gratitude to you to keeping my true love Ben and I together during his time in Iraq. He just never stopped thinking about me, because I got letters almost EVERY DAY, which is very unusual; he is in a high-tactical area. I was so afraid he would stray, being on his second tour, but he has NOT. He has stayed true to me because of the spells I got. you are powerful! Magic Works!!! All my devotion thank you [personal contact info deleted by comments editor] for the good work you have done for me, Leigh Talbott.

  • Deb

    HI. I’m 40 yrs old and trying to have a baby, one sister has 5 children, her frst at 17 and my other sister four. I have 9 nieces and nephews…I love them all but it was hard to be happy for them over the last 15 yrs. I quit school at 15 yrs old, all i ever wanted to be was a mom, still 40 and nothing. But in reality my bf and I have only been trying for three months, but in my heart I’ve been trying since I was sixteen. I worked in child care I was a foster carer until the children I had 6mths and 18months and were supposed to keep were given back to their mother…within 16 months… I lost my heart and said no more I want my own child who can’t be taken from me, hated looking after someone elses kids. I want to be a mom. I can’t adopt I’m not married, and I’m not a wealthy actress and there’s always a chance of parent changing their mind. I’m done with other peoples children. I want my own. 40 and still trying to be a mom…kinda sad and depressing really…23 yrs I’m still waiting. still hoping..but soon I won’t have any left…40 is pushing it.

  • Angel

    I really feel for woman who are unable to have children, i am 28 and have 2 boys and just had a baby girl, they are the love of my life, to put the point across i would love to have a child for a couple who arent fortunate enough to fall pregnant, im a very caring person and would do that for anyone, im still very young but to see woman older than me talk to me at the shopping centre talking of their story of not been able to have kids really hurts.

  • Me

    Relieved to see here that I’m not the only one going thru this. I’m 33 , had my son as soon as we started ttc. He’s going on 5 now, and we’ve been trying for over 3yrs to give him a sibling. Everyone around me, both young and old are getting pregnant. Used clomid, hated it so I stopped using it. I strongly believe in God, putting all my trust in him! And I know he will answer us all. I go to http://www.kcm.org, click on prayer, look for those desiring to have children, click on it and there’s a prayer there or you. I pray that when next I come back to this site, i write that God has answered my prayers. It is well!!!

  • trylo

    I was barring for 22 years and my husband hadly talk to me because i was unable to conceive and my mother-inlaw was not even talking to me all she was saying is that my husband should drive me out of the house and marry another woman.so i keep on praying and i say this spell caster online and i just say let me contact him and explain my problem to him and he gave me a herbal potion and after i have take it i mate with my husband for 3 night and the next month a great miracle fell on me and i was tested positive that i am pregnant.I am very happy to this man who help me his contact is ultimatespelltemple@gmail.com,i will not stop publishing his name because he is great ultimatespelltemple@gmail.com.

  • Hey Alexandra here, for women having trouble getting pregnant, this is a product you might find interesting

  • Crissy

    I was in the same situation, I thought I would never get pregnant, I had been trying for 7years. I went to the doctors recently because I was spewing for days on end. They did a blood test that confirmed that I was pregnant. I’m now 14weeks and everything’s going as planned so far. I wish u all the luck just remember don’t give up after all mine took 7 long years..

  • Sadaf


    This is exactly my story I am going thru exactly the same pain.
    I had a list of friends and family who are still not parent. but one by one all friends younger older cousin are pregnant. when they tell me their pregnancy issues..feels like they are rubbing on me. I don’t know what have I done wrong? Why me? some of them don’t even know about ovulation they did it first time and it happened for them.
    I dont know…. why cant I?

  • Magreth

    Hi..I’m 20 years old my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 3years without any success..I feel so angry for not getting pregnant that easily like my friends who have 2-3 kids by now …I get soo depressed most of the time,I wish I’m NORMAL like other women out there…I have no doubt that I’ll have a baby soon I hope..

  • Miranda Fabela.

    hi, well I’m Miranda and me and my husband have recently been trying for a baby. its been 5 months of trying so far, and nothing! we’ve tried on ovulation dates, high fertility dates, even during my period although its unlikely! I’m afriad that I might be one of those women who cannot become pregnant, any suggestions of what I should do? I don’t want to wait before its to late, and find out I’m unable to have children..

  • sxien

    ive been married for almost 2 years. and in this country, a woman after married, normally get pregnant about 3-5months later. Iam 29years old now, and iam really really stress because i cant get pregnant, like many of you here, i tried traditional chinese medicine, i tried hormone pills, i drinks lots of pre-pregnant milk,taken lots of vitamins. My menses never regular, i have to rely on hormone pills almost every month, it makes me so sick! & there was many times i cries so hard, i wish i could just bang my car at the road, i wish iam not living. Im getting older, my mother in law always commenting that iam unable to conceive, everyone showing their baby’s picture on their mobile or facebook, everyone ask me “why?”. i’ve lost faith in god, i feel like god never wants me to be happy.

  • Lonely Silver Spring

    I understand your feelings,Kate! I always wanted to be married and have babies. I saw how my younger cousins got pregnant, and I keep wondering “why not me?” I just celebrated my 2nd anniversary with my bf,we have unprotected sex in a regular basis, and I’ve never taken the pill and nothing happened yet…As you wrote, I feel sad sometimes thinking that I might not be able to conceive, and I’ll spend the rest of my days with no husband or children…I’m not getting younger either, I’ll be 35 this year. I’m so afraid… men don’t stick to me that much either. I’d love to have a kid to love and care about for the rest of my life, even if I don’t find a man who loves me. I’m a very caring person,have a decent job and loving parents…but I feel empty sometimes…I don’t know what I’d do the day my parents will be gone, all by myself. Life doesn’t seem fair sometimes…I wish you the best luck to all of you ladies…At least, you were a bride and are wives now. I don’t think that would happen to me…

  • digchild

    I have to sympathize with couples who really want kids,but have difficulty conceiving.They try for years to have kids,but if they cannot have at least one kid,then they typically adopt kids.These couples usually treat their kids well,as they know they worked hard to have them.On the other hand,there are couples who can easily have kids,but who treat their kids very badly and are basically atrocious parents.Life is unfair,but that’s the way it is.

  • rayan

    i am a male and icant have kids
    and ireally really want a wife that she cant have kids

    cause i think we well fit in

    i cant live with a women that she is capable to have kids but not from me

  • Misty

    My husband and I have been trying to have our 2nd child for 16 months. Everyday is agonizing and time has been so slow I don’t even want to do this anymore. Period after period after period, letting my hopes up and then having them crash to the floor. Everyone around me scoffing and rolling their eyes saying “give it time, don’t rush it, it’s not as nice as you think having more than one child” and i want to slap their smug faces. They don’t know the pain. They should be grateful to have a van full of rowdy children. Mine is turning 3 soon. He’s not so attached to Momma anymore. I long for another baby and a sibling for me son. Im too poor to see a doctor about all this. No one around me agrees with what Im doing and they even say “if you’re so stressed out now, imagine a toddler and a baby!” Im like “THAT IS why Im stressed out! I can only imagine!” Selfish, heartless people everywhere. Have some compassion for the rest of us. It’s not easy having kids, but it’s not easy not having them either. Im blessed with one at least, but he just keeps on getting older and older. 🙁

  • Carrie

    Please don’t ever listen to people like Dennis. They are so consumed by their own misery that they want to deny others that most basic joy of being a parent- the world isn’t over populated. Adopt because you want to give a loving gift to yourself and someone else, not because you think there are ‘too many people’ out there.


    hey im trying to help pppl like having a baby for them well im doing some research but i dnt no how go about it i have three kids so i no i can get preg [Edited] im just crying reading some u post [Personal contact info deleted]

  • mekia

    im crying with so manny tears reading some of u women post cuzs i no every women wants kids its only normal i have 3 kids i wish i can help some women just by reading some of u guys post makes me wanting to help

  • Deanna

    I connected with all of you commenters as I sat here reading this blog today. I too am added to the list of the unluckies. I have been trying to get pregnant since I was 21. My 29th birthday is in 2 weeks and I feel so sad. I feel like my “motherhood” time is fading away with each passing year. I to attend birthdays, christinings, and baby showers with mixed feelings. I love the children in my life but I want a child I can call my own. My husband and I have been together for 9 years, married for 5. I have went through miscarrage after miscarriage in hopes that one day I will have a child. I don’t know how much longer I can do it. My husband is very supportive and we have looked into adoption but YES is is sooooo expensive. My family is against adoption because they say it won’t be a “blood” relative. How can I look these people in the eyes and tell them how much being a mother would mean to me. I want the waking up at 3 am, the following after the baby as it crawls on the floor, the first day of school, the halloweens and christmases, and the family time. Why can’t I have it?

  • Memes

    Here’s an update: I been trying for over 5 months and gave up. I decided I don’t want a baby anymore & I felt that my feelings of love for my boyfriend had changed. I thought he couldn’t fathered a child so I let him cum in me even after I gave up hope. It’s ironic how just a few days ago I was reading over everyone’s comment and some said they’d become pregnant when they gave up hope. Anyways, I am late on my period this month, 2 days ago I actually took a nap (which I never do) and woke up with a very sore on my left breast. Today, my days was just so darn tiring I couldn’t do much and my right breast becomes very sore. I noticed the last 3 days, my underarms was very moisty but cool & no oder smell (not hot like sweating). My belly was very mushy soft and pants were tighter than usual. I felt pregnant, but didn’t think I could be since we haven’t had as much sex as usual this month. My bf went & bought 2 boxes of pregnancy tests from the Dollar Tree and both read Positive. We were still in shock so he decided to go Walgreens EPT before he finally believe the results. After 7 months, I finally become pregnant when I gave up. I guess you become pregnant when you least expected. Just enjoy the sex & it’ll happen when it’s meant to be. Good luck to all of you…

  • Lulubelle

    I have seen some of the comments,my husband and i have been trying for a baby for over 15 yrs,4 IVF cycles,6 miscarriages,2 ectopic pregs,lost left tube,right tube rendered blocked!!! Phew…. Okay im now being investigated by specialists… I have never stopped wanting a child,that is my right to want and feel this as well as well as my husband. We have paid over £18,000 pounds on trying… yes we have looked into adoption and fostering as an option.. But any women who is going through this,will tell you they will exhaust every chance to be pregnant. Im 44yrs old and my husband is 48yrs old.. 1lov Blessings to all

  • Anonymous:)

    I really enjoyed reading this article. Even though Im 19 and not financially ready to have a baby. I still want one. I think its because I know its going to be very hard for me to have a baby. Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years.. we dont use protection. But I also dont have periods, I have to take pills to have a period. Doc. said Ill have to take some sort of pills in order to have kids. It hurts knowing my brothers and sister has kids and i cant. I feel as if im the black sheep. Ive always dreamed about being a mommy. My boyfriends so ready to have one also, but i just fake a smile and say we’re not ready. but deep down… we are. I play it off like pfft. i cant have a baby so what? thats what women are suppose to do? right? be a mommy and a wife? It just hurt knowing I cant have kids. I do indeed really enjoyed reading your article.

  • Memes

    It has been 6months that I been trying. I wanted a baby so badly that I was stressing out. I got jealous of my friends getting pregnant, but pretended to be happy for them. I felt like I put more effort into having a baby that I follow my schedule days that I’m futile to make sure we will conceive. I crossed my fingers when it gets closer to having my period hoping I will not get my period. Every month negative, negative. Lately, I felt like I’m falling out of love with my bf. I decided I don’t want to have his baby anymore, but I can’t tell him to hurt his feelings. I asked myself, “Why can’t I get pregnant?” Now I feel like there’s a reason for not being able to get pregnant. Maybe God is trying to help me realize that this man isn’t the man I once fell in love with. Maybe God has other plans for me. Do you think that the stresses of not being able to get pregnant causes me to think this way? I guess when TTC turns out negative, it has a big effect on relationships. Anyways, good luck to everyone who is TTC. It’s been very tough when I was rally trying, but I gave up hope. If it’s meant to be, it will happen sooner or later.

  • Lisa N

    Thank you Kate for posting this article. I just wanted to say that you are not alone and I feel your pain and the others pain who have replied. It is tough. My husband and I have done three ICSI cycles without success and each time have been very upset by the outcome. This month we are taking some time out. We have been trying on and off since 2009. I am 40 turning 41 this year and my husband is 51.

    Trying to focus on being healthy and happy. Also stress does terrible things, so trying go somewhere every 12 weeks or so just to break routine. Nothing fancy, just a change of scenery can be good for the soul.

    Thinking and praying for everyone on this journey.

  • sharon

    @Shani: Hi Shani I share exactly the same problem that u do, even our and our husbands age details are the same. I am also so insecure about my age, his age. Everyone around me just seems to be growing babies while i just look on.At Church I see these beautiful children run around and I pray to God for my kid to join them. I know its hard very hard especially when the Doc says all is good yet u don’t conceive. But remember that God will never let His people down,i agree i get angry with him at times but then I know He will bless us with a kid. Keep the faith 🙂

  • shani


    IM ACUTUALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW over this pregnancy , i was searching ( why im not gettting pregnant) and took me here , i was feeling so lonely and now by reading these i feel better , 30 years old 8 years been married , we didnt want kid at first , we set time we will start triying by the time im 30 , my husband is 37 , sooo its almost a year now we are trying and nothing happening everytime i see my period i cry sooo hard , honestly all the waiting was we wanted to be in better financial situation and work and this kinda shit , and now its not as we are in better situation it just we felt time is passing and getting old is not funny and al of a sudden i wanted to be pregnant and now for a year of trying nothing i dont know im soo upset everybody in our family is getting pregnant with a 2nd or 3rd child ,as if it just not happening to us ,its the worst feelind waithing every mounth and try and at the end nothing , im sooo sad extremley angry and i keep asking why me why me??? my mom left me when i was 2 :(( i wanted alwasy be 100% be ready for my kid be there for her/him and now i dont even get pregnant .

  • Amber

    I am 22 years old have been with my boyfriend fon thinking about it i want a child so bad or i could at least live with knowing it will happen in due time it seriously crosses my mind everyday e ery time i get my monthly i get angry most the time at god witch isnt right i knowright

  • Alysha Garcia

    Wow! I can’t stop crying reading this article & others comments!!! I have tried for 5 years & nothing. My ob/gyn put me on Provera & nothing has worked…I’m actually considering the fertility blend from GNC that one of the others comments suggested. I too feel resentment towards all my friends…one just had a baby today…I have about 10 pregnant friends & about another 10 who have recently had babies who are 6 months or younger. My husband’s sister never wanted kids & just had hers in Dec…she loves & adores that baby but never wanted or planned on kids. Why is it that so many females get pregnant & either don’t care for them or abort them or give them up but the women who want children & a family of their own don’t get blessed? Today I began to wonder if I’m just not cut out to be a mother! I’m a toddler teacher & am so attached to my kids…but is that my purpose? Is that why I’m a teacher without any children of my own?? Are my students the only kids I’m gonna have??? Idk…but I’m seeking help from God more than ever cuz I’m soooo lost…I just want answers & a blessing my way!!!

    I’m hoping & praying that there will be a day that the undeserving stop having children & the deserving get blessed with their miracles!!!

  • Maria Nilson

    I believe that anyone who wants a baby as much as you do, will surely be blessed with one! There are thousands of stories of women wanting SO bad to be a mother, and after years og trying, they finally get pregnant. It took me and my husband almost two years to get pregnant the first time, and we had almost given up when finally the test turned positive. It will happen for you – I am sure of it! I send all my love and hope for a baby in your future 🙂

  • sandy

    i have been trying to get pregnant for 8years now but to no avail. its so painful i have tried chlomid no results, i want out of my marriage cause i feel bad when i look at my husband and he so wants a baby. May God grant me thy wish.

  • babyhopes

    I read your blod today and I must say it was exactly what I needed to read today. I thought for sure this month I was pregnant. NOPE this morning, she came. 1.5 years and I feel like less of a women. I have been where you were with the baby shower. My best friend who tried once at 38 and got pregnant. It killed me to go, but I did. I am glad I did. I feel I have a different purpose in life. Maybe being the awesome Aunt that I am, or the awesome mommy to my fabulous golden retriever. I am scared to not have a child and to live my life without that love.

  • Anjali

    How do you ladies do it? How can you be so strong? Please tell me, so I can do the same. I’ve only been trying a year and I’m already depressed. I want a baby more than anything and it’s so hard to deal with the fact that I may never have one.

  • Anjali

    Hi Kate. I’m 27, and your story sounds similar to mine. I’ve known the man who is my husband now since I was 15 years old. We have also been trying for a year and have not been able to have a baby. He has low sperm count and so that has made it harder for us. I know this thread is really old, but if you happen to read this, [Personal contact info deleted] I really can use someone to talk to. It’s the worst feeling ever when you finally decide to have a baby and it doesn’t happen.

  • swathi

    i came that i have pcos yesterday… feeling so depressed… i was pregnant before my husband dint wanted baby so had abortion… now we want a baby… but i’m not able to get pregnant…

  • stacy

    I Know how you all feel.I have tried to have a child of my own for about 10yrs. My husband and i have been together for almost 14yrs.He has 2 children of his own.HE had a vasacetomny with his first wife.We fell in love and he had it reversed.We have spent soo much money trying to have a baby that it almost broke us..We adopted our son in jan of 2010. I love him dearly.I still want a child of my own.I get soo tired when someone in my family gets preganet,that i don’t even want to be around that person.I know that’s wrong,but i can’t help it.I don’t even go to baby showers.I love my family,but i wish they understood.

  • JJm

    I too am devastated that i cant have a child with my fiance. He already has 3 children of his own but i would like to give him a child. We have tried every day several times a day for a year and nothing. I want to have a child with him so badly.

  • Confused and sad

    What a releif that I’m not the only person having issues.
    I agree that I get jealous or angry. Its do hard not to. I
    Do my best though to control thoughs feelings.

    Is there any thing in local areas that have a support group?

    TTC with husbsnd for three years. Im Only 21. Have no children but one molar pregnancy when I was 15. I feel hopeless. Less of a woman, angry and oh so confused. My new doctor suggested PCOS but to me that sounds like hell. My whole menes life was normal up until after my life saving d&c. I am scared and feel alone.

    Like no one gets it. I’m 21 and feel like my dreams of a family have been riped from My hands.

  • Glenn Contrarian

    No, Earth is not overpopulated. We’ve just got too many people who think that seven billion people, half a billion cars operating every day, rampant deforestation, and pavement in place of dirt can’t affect the earth’s climate.

    For instance, a gallon of gas weighs a little under 8 pounds…but simple chemistry shows that every gallon of gasoline burned results in twenty pounds of CO2 in the atmosphere – the added weight coming from the combination of the carbon of the gasoline and the oxygen from the air in the combustion of the mixture. Think about that – half a BILLION cars operating every day, and every gallon of gasoline pumps twenty pounds of CO2 into the atmosphere.

    And some people think we can’t be affecting the environment!

    We CAN support our planet’s population and more – but ONLY if we get a clue that yes, green energy and protection of our environment are crucial to our civilization.

  • Mrs. B.

    WHOA. First of all, the planet is NOT overpopulated – one of THE BIGGEST lies ever!! I have done several research papers on the subject, and each one comes to the sure and confident conclusion that we ARE FINE!!! In fact, the earth’s population could be double what it is now, and we’d still be fine!! We just need to be wiser in how we use our resources, where we choose to live, etc. THE EARTH IS NOWHERE NEAR OVERPOPULATED!!!

    Second, we are NOT “just here”! We each have a purpose. When you see a painting, do you say, “Oh this just appeared out of nowhere.” Or when you see a car, do you assume it just fell out of the sky? No, everything that exists only exists because it has been created. That is the only thing that makes sense!! We have been created by God, each with a specific purpose, and the desire to have babies is also God-given.

    Kate, do NOT listen to people who make such uneducated, ridiculous comments.

  • hem

    I have been concerned with me not getting pregnant, because I am 26 years old almost 27. I have decided not to get pregnant til I am married. Hopefully to a man in his 30’s.

  • Raju

    Newly i got married. and my wife is studying now. so we are planing for child after three years. in that time my wife age is 21. so i need help that how it will be possible wihout any trouble. and plz reply in my mail id. my mail id is- uma_sagar05@yahoo.com please help me.

  • haley

    I am 26 yrs old and havent be able to get pregnant. My friend who is in his 50’s wants me to have a baby. I keep reading about the risks for downs syndrome and autistic defects in men over 45 years of age. Does anyone know about this?

  • Sarah

    Im 21years of age and my hubby is 33,we’v bn tryn 4a baby for the whole of december even nw. Idk wat to say to hm i fil helpless and less of a woman when i tel hm im nt pregnant. Im young i dnt smoke nor drink what could be a problem? I love hm very much hes waiting 4 me to get pregnant and his family too

  • Sarah

    Im 21years of age and my hubby is 33,we’v bn tryn 4a baby for the whole of december even nw. Idk wat to say to hm i fil helpless and less of a woman when i tel hm im nt pregnant. Im young i dnt smoke nor drink what could be a problem? I love hm very much hes waiting 4 me to get pregnant and his family too

  • Luna123

    i am in your shoes.

  • cat

    i have similar experiences,we have been trying for over 2 yrs. I’ve done chlomid with no luck. Then put on metformin and told i’d be pregnant in no time, well 4 months later and still nothing. Going back to fertility centre in feb to start the iui process. If that fails my husband and i have agreed to adopt from the childrens aid society. But i to become depressed and frustrated, especially when people around me are having babies no problem.
    I noticed this post is old, just wondering where you are now.

  • charity

    kate l know how u feel just remember u are not alone .if l explain my .u will be surprise and even cry. but l can not write all down. but always l hope in God who give me life.but never lost hope.susan too God is love he will never forget u .just have faith in him.l knew one or two people who have kids but they are not happy.because of the problem their giving to them.always be happy and hope for the best.be positive.try and use nature ways like herbs supplement very health.l can also help.try,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

  • Charlie

    I would go to your doctors and get them to take bloods.

  • angle

    i did not get my period form 1 months and its going know 2nd months and a did home test allso and come negative but still i did not get period what i shall i do???? i am pregant or not plz do let me know???

  • Charlie

    Hi, I’m 18 with a 17month old little boy.. Me an my bf have been trying for another baby since October!! But nothing! It’s really getting me down, any tips guys?

  • in india we have an hospital where we try 2 get 2 cure fertility problems with natural medicines made of plants …. for details contact me

  • hayleigh

    When I was 21 I fell pregnant really quickly but my boyfriend was very violent and stamped on my belly and I miscarried since then I have started a new relationship with a lovely man we have been trying to get pregnant since september but my period comes every month I’ve used all the tips but nothing works I really don’t know what to do anymore and I’m scared I can’t have kids because of my ex partner I am 29 this year and I would love to be pregnant by then. Do anyone know what else I can do to improve my chances if not I’m just going to have to stop trying and maybe one day I might get lucky

  • Travey

    I have always wanted kids. Me and my sister were out in the driveway playing with our kitchen set, gathering rocks to cook. My dad came home for lunch my sister went to b nosy and left me out there still playing,,I was 3 she was 5 years older…my dad got done,with lunch and was going back to work little did he know I was still behind the car playing,,and my older sister was .o where to b0 seen. He started the car and back up over me with the back tire and I laud there the second tire came and when it ran over me he turned the wheel and when he did it. Aught my clothes and took me up and over the tire as be turned his wheels, that is how he knew something was wrong when my head hit the quarterpanel, and he looked out and realised I rode it all the way down that long driveway. Once he realized what happened my mom was already out there scooping me up off the ground (even though she knew,she shouldn’t have) they took me to the e.r. and they kept me overnight nothing,was wrong with me but,tire tread marks across my belly. And both,tires ran over me.they sent,me home the next day….skip forward to 2002 I went to the Dr, and he said my ovaries were crushed and I could never,have kids, and it all came from when I got ran over, the technology just wasn’t there in the 70s….I have always wanted a baby and now it is so out of my reach. It is so depressing ,the thought of what if I could the baby I,could have, what would they look like, what kind,of personality they,would have

  • Brita

    Reading these posts are comforting while at the same time they are not. I have not shared my story and kept it to myself.
    Long story short, I am 25 years old and I am married to a man much older than I am. He has 6 children from a previous marriage. I adopted the 5 minor children as my own. I never thought I would feel the way that I do seeing as I have 5 children who love me and see me as “Mom.” However, when my husband and I were still dating, I asked him if he would be willing to have one more child if it were possible. He said he would love to, besides, with that many what is one more LOL.
    I know that it sounds selfish, but if you were in my shoes you would understand. I have always wanted to conceive a child of my own and I think it would bring me closer to my children relationship wise.
    When we decided to try and have a child, we were not concerned about dates and planning, we just wanted it to, “just happen when it happened.” Thus, we had unprotected sex and that was the extent of it. We wanted to have a child while our youngest was still a toddler. It has been four years and no luck yet.
    I love my children as if they came from my womb, but there is an emptiness that I feel not being able to conceive. My husband is very insensitive to my feelings because he has bore children himself. He does not understand why it breaks my heart. But at the same time in my husbands defense, he does keep saying that it will happen. To me, he is very optimistic seeing as we still have not had any sign of success in 4 years. But then again, he also has biological children and has not had to go through what I am battling mentally. On top of that, he is a man who does not long to feel a life growing inside of him.
    My husband is much older than I am and I want a child that is a part of him and myself for when we get older. There is a strong chance that he will leave much earlier than I, seeing as we are 25 years apart in age. I know it is a big age difference, and I was judgemental of age gap relationships before I met my husband, so I understand those who think it is crazy, but you cannot help who you fall in love with. 🙂
    Anyway, the point to my story is this,…
    I am fortunate to have 5 children. That alone is worth more than what most have. But the feeling associated with having a child from your own womb is also very emotional. I do not feel this way all of the time, only on occasion. I find myself “looking for signs” that I could be pregnant. It has even gotten to the point where if my period is a day short I hope I could be pregnant. For example, I found this post looking for the answer to whether implantation bleeding can occur after your menstruation instead of before. I had light pink spotting days after my period and now I am hopeful, but realistic that the chance is low. I fear my husband getting any older before we have a child of our own. He will be 50 next year and now I have considered tying my tubes if we do not conceive before his next birthday. THe more time goes by the more broken I feel.
    I understand the emotional pain we all have when facing the chance of being infertile, and sadly while I have 5 adopted children, the longing for a child of my own has not gone away. I am not selfish, and I never bring up th subject, but I think of it while no one knows my true feelings. My brother and sister both had their children on the 3rd of January and the 5th of January. This may be why these emotions are running in my head again.
    What bothers me is how a mother, who did not want her 5 minor children who allowed them to be lice infested without food or a place to lay their head was able to bear 5 beauiful children, but I cannot even have a miscarriage. At least it is a sign that conception is possible. Most people have miscarriages before they are successful. Some are unaware of those cases. I do not wish a miscarriage upon anyone or myself, I hope that you get the point. I am just saying that to stress the point that I have no evidence for hope. My OB is still working with us :).
    Wow, this is much longer than I intended. I apologize for the length but it was relieving to vent others. Thank you Kate for your post, if you still keep up with it 4 years later :). I wish you all the best!If my luck changes and God decides to bless me with a child I will let you know!

  • Memes

    I know exactly how you feel. I’m in the same boat. I felt stupid because I told my friends that we are trying to have a baby. Every month, someone asked, “Are you pregnant yet?” I had to say we’re too busy and didn’t have time to make a baby. But, in reality we been really trying. I used to be so furtile and didn’t think it’s this hard. I’m too embarrassed to tell them that I’m NOT pregnant. I love my boyfriend so much that I wanted him to have his own child. Plus, he’s getting older and I don’t want him to regret never being a father. It’s so frustrating when you tried everything right, but still nothing. Just this month, I was a couple of days late and I was never late on my period unless I was really pregnant. I’m usually on time or early, so I was SO sure, I got my boyfriend hopes up. I know deep down he is sad because I told him that it had to be him of why I’m not pregnant. I know, I’m such a horrible person to make him feel this way. I feel so bad but also frustrated. I said to myself, if I’m NOT pregnant within 2 months, I’m giving up hope. I’m so exhausted that sex seems like a chore instead of making love. I missed just making love with him passionately without trying to get pregnant. I guess I have to accept that I may never be able to give him a child and just enjoy each other. Otherwise, I’ll go crazy if I am doing this just for a baby. If it’s meant to be, I guess it’ll happen when the time is right.

  • chhavi

    this is chhavi … probably i m trying to write a blog or share my feelings abt my motherhood for the first time..

    it is hard and very hard to be true to yourself when i am married for four year.. and trying for 2 years to be a mother met the best gyn in town took several opinions.. all had one opinion me and my husband both are healthy and fit to be parents… normal folic acid was given to me..as prescribed medicine
    As if for god this was not bad enough… my sis in law who is marrried for one year is expecting to deliver in feb 2012 i have gone thru that phase and still going thru it.. when u have to nurture a woman in front of u.. pamper her privilege her when deep within u want all dat to happen to u ..

    it hurts very hard when u see all d excitment happiness shopping frenzy of which (i am also a part of )and want all dat o happen to u…
    my family doent say nething directly to me.. bt dey compare me like ething ppl have started gosiping …

    i am tired of proving it to my family that i am normal, fertile and NOT INFERTILE .. to d ppl around me
    i have no clue wat to do whom to talk to… i have lost all hopes i have no where to go i feel miserable and helples i wish i wuldnt have been married ever .. m fed up completly.. its better nt to live

  • Jenn


    I’m sorry, didn’t realize you commented. Yes, I did have a miscarriage…I was almost done with my first trimester. I know it is very common to have a miscarriage during the first trimester. It is very sad. No matter how many days, weeks, or months your baby was, its still very devastating.

    It doesn’t effect my daily life. Although I am very sad, it doesn’t stop me from having faith and hope. I’m sure it just wasn’t time. But thank you for your support 🙂

  • Sharon

    Hi Im Sharon, me & my husband have been married since 2007 and have been trying for a baby since day 1 but have not been able to have one yet. I am overweight and most doctors I went to were of the opinion that my weight is hindering my conception.
    I have started working on my weight and finally have found a nice Gynac who does not discourage me. I have left my job to work on my health and conception. I hope I get pregnant sometime soon or else how long can i sit idle at home as my hubby works away from home 9months a year.
    I feel so guilty at times for not being able to give Seby a baby, add to that ppl are so insensitive, recently a fly fren delivered and we went to meet them but the lady did not show us the kid as if we were there to cast an evil eye on the baby. It was so insulting I cud not stop crying for weeks,I realised at that min how the races who are discriminated against must be feeling. I am now resorting to a positive lifestyle and thinking and I am sure I will log in again later this year to share the news of my pregnancy.

  • chris

    hi guys me and my gf have bin trying for about a year and a half we both have had test which has come back posotive we are able to have kids as we was told apart from my sperm count is abit low , so now iv stoped somking and i hope for the best and my wish go out to all ov you trying we no how hard it is

  • Marlene

    Hi Kate
    Thank u for sharing your feelings with all of us…….However let me tell you my story.
    I am trying to conceive for the past 9 years. I have been to gynae’s, have done tests the way u described & yes I lost the weight when gynae’s told me I was overwieght & that was my reason for not falling pregnant. I lost 44kgs in a few months & dropped to a size 32, after having lost all that weight, I was waiting for a prize at the end. Little did I realise there was none. After having lost the weight, the gynae’s told me they ‘DID NOT KNOW’ wot was wrong with me. I look, feel like an idiot. I have spent sooooooo much at specialist trying to find a problem, after everything & hoping a solution would be awaiting me I only then feel as useless as ever.
    Then I realised GOD has a plan & a purpose for each of us, not matter wot he is there to guide us through all dificulty & through your/our heartache of trying to conceive the great thing is that he has made us strong to deal with this. Today I left my faith in Gynae’s I have put my faith in GOD, cos our destiny is from him & I have no doubt that he will give me that bouncy happy baby I deserve.
    So cheer up thus being 2012 start afresh & focus on GOD, he will never leave you …Trust in Him..at all times

  • Loren

    Hi Kate – Gosh life can be so hard cant it !! Im a strong believer that life just isnt fare and beautiful, but yet we are here for a reason. Im 29 with 2 kids and had a miscariage 5 months ago and have been trying since to get pregnant, i usually get pregnant first time and this is making me rack my brains hard on why! Im a Christian and as i lay in bed last night going ok God what can it be . . . Ive given it to you so i guess we can trust your timing which is what we ask, for his will to be done . OR maybe this is consequences for past actions …. (I dont think this ones right) OR You are just drawing us close to you …. Hmmmm yes mabe this is it because it is working we are pressing in more . My point is i believe that things happen to people because he wants our attention ,to let us know hes real. I just wanted to post this because maybe you havent thought of God as an option ( Hes in the miracle business you know ) 🙂 And it says in the bible he actually gives you the desires of your heart, so if hes given you that desire, maybe hes waiting for you to just ask him 🙂

  • Bulie

    Iam married for six years we have try to make children wth my husband bt we didn’t get them.i was always cryng all night having a stress.then we went to a cultureral healer get some herbs but it didn’t work. We are now prayng to god to have children so guys lets not lost a temper coz in god we trust

  • Melisa

    this story, has made me cry… sounds just like me i am 26yrs i have been with my husband for since 9th grade we been married for 3 years now, and i have been trying to get pregnant for 2 of those years. every month i think its my month and i think i am pregnant but then i get my period. i have gone to the DR and they advise “us” that everything is fine with me. i have tried everything that everyone tells me.. and nothing happens.. my friends and family members don’t even try to get pregnant, and they get pregnant. i am so upset with myself and sometimes all i can do is cry myself to sleep… i know that if i every have a baby i will be a great mom..

  • Memes

    @Jenn, were you pregnant and had a miscarriage? How far along if you were pregnant? I heard that the further along you are in the pregnancy, the harder it gets because you built that bond. I’m just curious because I had some friends who were a little sad but stayed positive and said maybe it wasn’t meant to be and I know some who becomes so devastated that it affect their daily lives. I hope that your wish will come true soon.

  • Jenn

    I sort of feel at ease after reading this blog…knowing that I’m not the only one to feel this way. I’m 21, yes young to be trying to have a child. But my fiance and I have been together for almost 6 years now and we’re ready. I was ready when we first found out we were going to have a baby, back in May of 2011. Since the pregnancy didn’t work out…I was devastated and wondered why? My family is pretty fertile. Now everyone I know is pregnant. I should be 7 months right now. But instead I’m on my 6th cycle. I keep hoping and praying to God that He will bless with a child once again. I just have to keep praying. I just want to thank you Kate for writing this blog. It’s very touching to all the women out there trying. Good luck everyone.

  • Memes

    I am a mother of 2. I was married but things didn’t work out. I thought I never wanted to have children again until I met this wonderful guy who has this bond with my children that are not his own. My children adores him and wishes that he is their father. I, too would love to have him be a part of my family. He doesn’t have his own child and would love to have a child with me, but he never pressures me and told me whatever I decide, he’ll respect my wishes. I been with him for many years and everything going well for us, so lately we been talking about having a baby. We been trying for the past 4 months and I’m still negative. We tried everything to educate myself. I know that I been pregnant, but it was never planned. I actually had an abortion because I didn’t want to have another child at such a young age. I am now in my early 30’s. It seems so easy to get pregnant without trying before. Now, it seems so difficult. The first month, I thought it was pregnancy symptoms, but was negative. Again, second month, I felt like I had pregnancy symptoms and negative. I guess I wanted to be pregnant so badly, I was reading online looking for early signs and what I need to do to become pregnant. I never thought TTC could be so frustrating. I feel bad for blaming him, but because I could get pregnant so easily in the past, I didn’t think it could be me. He doesn’t have a lot of sperm count. Could it mean that he can’t fathered a child, miscalculate on my furtile days and having sex on non-furtile days instead, or maybe it’s because I’m getting older? It’s becoming so frustrating that I told him if I’m not pregnant within 2 months, I’m giving up. I also just found out that one of my friend is a couple of months pregnant and she’s almost 40. It seems like it’s easy for her to get pregnant because she had just mentioned not long ago that she’s ready and TTC. Like Kate, I felt angry, frustrated, and felt like I’m being punished. I know he will be a wonderful father because he has shown and share his love and dedications as any father would have to my children. I’m very thankful to have him in our lives and for that, I want to give him a gift of having a child he always dream of having with me. Thanks Kate for writing this! I am not alone. I guess if it’s meant to be, it will happen sooner or later. I’m praying for the both of us. You really inspired me by sharing your story and that it’s okay to vent our frustrations. I’m too embarrassed to tell my friends because I don’t want them to think that something is wrong with me. Good luck and keep us posted.

  • Andy

    Freedom is overrated guys. Especially when we all have to work 60 hours a week. That is not freedom. Freedom to me is being able to spend time with your family and child, Which i do not have since i deal with the same problems. My wife cant concieve as of now. So leave the glass half full mumbo jumbo out of the blog considering everywhere people turn you’re reminded of children or not being able to have them. Good luck everyone who cant concieve….everyone else…mind your own business

  • DS

    It took my husband 5 years! to get our child-naturally and then NO MORE!?! for 10 years! We had the same sort of medical results as above. We, too, did not want to go IVF. I did use Chinese medicine before I got pregnant at 32, but he second time produced no results. Dong Qui does regulate estrogen and ovulation and its cheap. It does work. I went through the same bitter feelings as I approached 40, and then I made peace with it. But now, my husband is 41 and is in a panic that we do not have another child!! Adoption is charitable, but is always going to be a different relationship, especially when it take 3years+ these days to get a toddler and miss out on their infancy anyway! We are left with prayers now…

  • HEM

    I have a friend who is trying not to get involved with a older man that could or does have grown children older than her. On top of all that he is married; and his wife can’t have any children for him. She really wants a baby and hasnt been able to have one. The man wants her to get her psych meds started and get checked out to see if she can have kids. I dont think he is on the up and up with her. Do you think he is trying to trick her into getting pregnant; so he and his wife can take the baby and raise it?

  • HEM

    I AM 26 years old and want to get pregnant. So far it hasn’t happen through out my past relationships. Do you think a man over fifty has a good chance his sperm will cause birth defects?

  • Huma Adnan

    After reading each n every comment, i thought i do t need to write anything because so much has already been said.. But i think it will help me feel better if i play my part by contributing to this blog.
    I am married for 3 years, ttc since last 6 months, im 28, my husband is 37. Through with all the tests. Everything normal! But still no god news. Im getting stressed out and due to this, my husband is also geting performance anxiety. He feels like he has lost all of his libidi to make love. We’ ve tried several suppliments for this problem but apparently, nothing has helped yet. My husband is not o er weight, plays tennis regularly, semen analyais showed excellent results(as per my Dr). May be i have pushed him too much! But is it my fault if i so despertely want to get pregnant? I have stoped complaining my husband for not having him around when it is needed and it is killing me from inside. He says that i’m getting too much obsessed with this,knowingly we both r normal, i should not panic! But believe me, i am pretending all the time! I dont know where to go and what to do..!!
    I pray for all of the ladies, who wish to be a Mom, that may u all get preggo when it is best for u. Coz u have to trust God that of it isnt happening now, its not the best time to happen than.. (I keep telling myself this all the time.. It helps… Sometimes 🙁
    Baby dust to all you beautiful ladies. Remember, you all are very precious!

  • Huma Adnan

    Hi all

  • Amber


    Good luck to you. I hope you get the baby you want.

    Stay positive and God will bring you your miracle!

  • jessica

    Tip 6.

    You may have heard, there has been an ongoing debate about whether drinking coffee (or other caffeinated beverages) can cause a delay in getting pregnant. Studies have been done and the research is mixed – some conclude yes, others conclude no.

    Some studies now suggest that even one cup of coffee per day can reduce a woman’s chances of getting pregnant within a 12-month period by more than 50%!

    Although the caffeine debate is far from settled, Dr. Mark Leondires, M.D., Medical Director at Reproductive Medicine Associates of CT, encourages patients to stay on the safe side and avoid caffeinated beverages while trying to get pregnant.

    I’d say that is excellent advice. If you are trying to get pregnant faster, or it has been taking longer than you had hoped, don’t you think it’s best to err on the safe side and stay away from coffee?

    If you’re feeling depressed about the thought of giving up your morning “fix”, you should know there are some other beverages that can be a worthwhile substitute, as they actually enhance your fertility. One fabulous beverage I already spoke about is water.

  • jessica

    Tip 5.

    I ‘m going to talk about a food that can be both good and bad for your fertility, so make sure you read this carefully to learn the difference.

    There is a food that some pregnant women know to avoid, but not many women who are trying to get pregnant know about this. What am I referring to?


    No, I do not mean to avoid all fish, because most fish can be beneficial to your fertility as it is high in Omega 3 fatty acids. The fish you need to avoid are the ones that are high in mercury.

    Here’s why. When you conceive, and then find out you’re pregnant about 2 weeks later when your period doesn’t show up, the baby has already been exposed to everything you have put in your body during those two weeks. Now hopefully, you have cut out most of the obvious things that would be harmful to the baby, but you might not have thought about fish high in mercury.

    Mercury can get stored up in your bloodstream from too much consumption, and then passed on to the developing baby. Too much mercury can effect the nervous system of an unborn baby.

    One fish that many people eat quite frequently is “white” tuna fish in the can. This can have high levels of toxic mercury in it and should be eaten only in small quantities.

    You should completely avoid shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tile fish (also called golden or white snapper), tuna steaks (fresh or frozen), orange roughy, Spanish mackerel, marlin, and grouper because these fish contain the highest levels of mercury.

    But remember, do not avoid all fish, only those that are high in mercury, because fish is loaded with protein, vitamin D, and omega-3 fatty acids — all of which are an important part of a healthy diet. There are plenty of good fish choices such as salmon, rainbow trout, and canned mackerel, for instance — that contain low levels of mercury and are high in healthy fats.

  • jessica

    tip 4.

    Alright, the next tip for getting pregnant is about stress. This is sometimes a delicate topic among couples trying to get pregnant. People are always saying….”just relax, and it’ll happen.” Sheesh, don’t they know that comment just causes even more stress!!

    If you could just get pregnant, you wouldn’t be so stressed, yet being stressed might be keeping you from getting pregnant. Talk about a catch-22!

    In any event, I am not going to tell you, “hey, just relax”, but I will point out that there are increasing reports of the link between stress and fertility.

    But here’s something very interesting…

    In some recent studies, women exposed to “laughter therapy” actually had greater pregnancy rates than those who did not participate. What is laughter therapy?

    It’s just what you might think. For at least 15 minutes a day (more is better), you need to find an activity that makes you laugh!! Personally, I think one of the best ways to do this is to watch a comedy show on TV, or rent a really funny movie. Or you can visit a comedy club if there is one in your area. It doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as you are doing something that makes you laugh!!

    Believe it or not, this works much better than trying to force yourself to relax!! Give it a try and see if it makes a difference!

  • jessica

    Tip 3.

    In it, I give you all the details on many vitamins that you and your partner can be taking that can have a significant impact on your fertility. You would be amazed!

    For now, I’m going to talk about one that you need to avoid, as it can actually ruin your chances of getting pregnant if you take the wrong dosage. What am I talking about?

    I’m talking about Vitamin C. Here’s the deal..

    Taking some vitamin C is actually a great idea, because vitamin C (in small doses) can do something wonderful to increase your fertility. It actually improves your cervical fluid. You may know that the cervical fluid is crucial for transporting the sperm to your cervix and on to your uterus, where it will eventually meet up with your egg. Without good quality cervical fluid, the sperm just doesn’t have a chance of surviving for very long.

    But here’s the catch… Too much vitamin C can have the opposite effect. Yeah, that’s right… too much can cause your cervical fluid to dry up, and that can just about ruin your chance of ever getting pregnant. So you must be extremely careful to avoid taking high doses of vitamin C supplements (especially during cold and flu season where we’re often advised to load up on vitamin C).

    How much is too much?? I would recommend 500mg of vitamin C supplements daily, or you can go as high as 1000mg, but definitely do not take more than 1000mg per day.

  • jessica

    Tip 2.

    getting pregnant, including timing, positions, and quite a few secrets I’m not at liberty to divulge here.

    But getting back to tip #2… many couples are under the mistaken impression that it is helpful to avoid sex during the month except for the time around ovulation. This comes from the idea that if you “save up” the sperm, they will be more plentiful when you need them!

    Turns out, this is a very BIG mistake. It’s true, if you save up the sperm, you might actually have more when your fertile time of the month comes, but there’s one big problem. Most of these sperm will be tired, and sluggish, and unable to fertilize your egg!

    In order to have the best chance of conception, it is necessary to keep the sperm supply fresh!

    That means your partner should be ejaculating at least every 3 days throughout the month. Then, when approaching ovulation, it is time to increase the frequency of intercourse to improve your chance of conception.

  • jessica

    hi monique and other please take these tip’s in,

    I am willing to bet that many couples who are finding it difficult to get pregnant, are making some of the exact same mistakes.

    Here’s the first one… Did you know that something as simple as using the wrong lubrication when you have intercourse can spoil your chances of getting pregnant? I had no idea! In fact, I thought a little lubrication would actually help–were you thinking the same thing too?

    Well, it turns out, most store-bought lubricants will damage the sperm and so they are strictly forbidden! The same goes for vaseline or KY jelly. If you are using this type of lubrication, you could be reducing your chances of conceiving by half!!!

    Luckily, there are a couple of things you can use as a substitute. One is egg whites. Yup, as in real eggs! You just leave one out for a while (they’re much too cold, straight from the fridge), and then you crack it open and use the egg white (not the yolk) in place of lubrication. Believe it or not, eggwhites are extremely sperm friendly!!

    Another option is a fantastic product called Pre-Seed, which is specifically designed not to be harmful to sperm.

  • Monique

    I feel like i should give up but as they say when you stop trying it might happen. im so sorry for all these women who have tried for a long time and maybe not a mum yet but never lose hope and have faith. it sound like im pretty selfish coz im alread a mum but it still hurts like every other women who have tried and failed in getting pregnant

  • Monique

    Hi im Monique i have a beautiful baby boy which was not planned pregnancy and now we are trying we have tried for 5 months and im scared that something could be wrong. i just hate it when we have tried and every month it didnt work. im very grateful i have my son but I just want him to have lil brother or lil sister

  • jessica

    Fertility-Ovulation Calendar Calculator

    Try this all women trying for there first or second baby’s. and so on. 🙂

  • jessica

    i havent read all of your comment’s but that is so how i feel. shoot down. i had a late menstrual, it was about 2 week’s late i really fort i was pregnant but all my HPT’s was neg. then came on. so gutted. it was like my heart had been torn apart. I dont want to just have 1 child i would like to have more. well any way try not to feel down cause people say that does’nt help, i know it’s hard. 🙂 good luck and wish you the best in the future. oh and have you tryed babymed they do a free ovulation chart try it. i have been. now just gotta wait to see if i come on or not. dont worry ill let you no if baby med worked or not.

  • jessica

    DENNIS I think your very rude and should not have said that yes there is loads of kids up for adoption but maybe just maybe she might wont her own kids. you dont get it cause your a man you would know what the feeling is like to be pregnant then to be a mum. D*ck Head. any way sorry people for that but had to say my peice. i am a mother to my 22 month old daughter and she can be very naulty but i love her so much. Me and my fiance have been trying for a second for 16 months now and nothink’s happening. It’s heart braking cause im so broody and every were i go there are pregnant ladies or new mummy’s with little tiny babie’s. I would love to give my daughter a brother or sister so any one in the same sort of situation as me please do not hezertate to leave me some advice. thx to all and good luck in trying for a baby. hope all goes well for any women in the world trying to concieve there 1st, 2nd, 3rd and so on baby’s. 🙂

  • Rashida

    Thank you for posting this. I am also 27 and my story goes a lot like your’s. No one understands the pain a woman feels when she has that feeling of hope…then to be shot down by a late menstrual. Please keeping posting. It truly is nice to know that I’m not the only one.

    Thank you!

  • varsha

    this is varsha, i am trying to conceive from last eight months but no results had come, we both are of 26. every month whenever we try to conceive my periods come by the date or late by 2,5,4 and even 7 days.always i cross my fingers that this time i got pregnant but every time i get depressed. i dont know what to do. i consulted doc. had few tests.all tests are ok. we both take natvie plus medicine as advised by doctor from last month. we both have rh factor -ve and both working.plz help me…………………… in hope of reply

  • Brooke H

    I love the comments above; I read each and every one.

    I turned 30 this year. Got married when I was 27. We have been trying for 2 years now and nothing. Nothing. Not even close. We did the Clomid 50, 100, 150mg for 7 cycles! Nothing but a monthly urine test that rendered the “you suck” sign. Totally heartbreaking. We moved on to a specialist and have now completed two IUI’s also with zero sucess. Thinking about moving forward with IVF by the end of the month.

    My husband has been so supportive, really. I do think I hold a lot of my hopelessness in, hoping to look strong and emotionally undefeated with those I come in contact everyday…but I am starting to lose this battle. Simply can’t do it anymore. I am getting close to exhausting my options and that worries me, A LOT. I know I need to have a better attitude but cannot seem to find it.

    I pray a lot for me and for you during this horrific journey in our lives. In the end though…it will all pay off one way or another.

  • chelcie

    hi i feel like a waste of time, embarresed, stressed, annoyed angrey and it goes on but reading this makes me realize that there are more people out there that are worser then me and maybe im taking this all the wrong way and should go on a diet and lose weight, i would like to thank people like you writing stuff like this because it makes people stop and think of the things they are doing wrong well it did that for me so thankyou xx

  • Tara

    reading this article has brought me to tears as its exactly what i am going through a year has gone now and ive been diagnosed as depressed but just for the reason i cannot gt pregnant, i am happily married and have a lovely life, just one thing missing…. its not to populate the earth, its the want to get pregnant, to give a baby all my love and all my husbands love, i want to make something that is us, you know? i cant explain the desperate want for a baby, ive finally found some people who feel the same and its kind of a relief, thanks for sharing x

  • Tammy

    Pippa. Congratulations. Enjoy being pregnant.

  • Tammy

    Hi. I had to write. We tried for 5 years and then my husband quit smoking and developed pneumonia. He went on strong antibiotics and I got pregnant. I feel for all of you who have been trying for so long. After 4 yrs. of trying everything I to stopped going to baby showers. Now my daughter is going on 11 yrs. We haven’t used any birth control ever. Don’t give up. Keep praying- God hears all your prayers even if at times you can’t think of the words. Love to all

  • pippa

    Hey kate and all of u bloggers,
    After a struggle of 1 and a half years, I finally found out that I’m pregnant, cannot believe it though.I am very happy but nervous also. I need lots of good wishes and luck to have a safe and healthy pregnancy ahead.

  • Christina

    I wanted to say that your story has really touched my heart Kate. I have never wanted to write on the fertility blogs before, I suppose it would mean that it makes my struggle more real. Your story is very like mine. My partner and I have been together for 16yrs from the age of 18. We always knew we wanted a home and a family one day. But first we wanted to travel and establish ourselves in our careers. We spent our 20’s doing this and having the time of our lives. Then finally at 30 we decided it was time to start our family. 4 years later and we are still waiting. I find it so hard to believe that I am not yet a Mother at 34 when it is something I always wanted so much. I live with grief, embarrassment, bitterness, and fear that it will never happen for us. I have been proactive and we have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility, as there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with either of us. We are now on the waiting list for public funded IVF and this year is all going to be about our health and lifestyles – like it hasn’t been for the last four years- ha!! Everything we have tried does not seem to work. But we still have hope, my partner has an amazing amount! We need to believe at this stage that something will happen just as it can and very often does for people in our situation. If we get further down the track and still nothing, I tell myself I will have the strength to deal with it but now my focus is about positivity, hope and excitement about our future family. You write so well and I can tell you are an intelligent women who is strong and loving and I wish you all the best!

  • Jamie

    Well I am 26, been trying for 3 years… PCOS, Thyroid problems and a reversed Uterus… Thank you for all your stories 🙂 Glad to see there are positive outcomes

  • danielle

    I’m glad that I found this site. I have nobody to talk to about this situation because I’m embarrassed. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I havent had one pregnancy scare. all my friends and cousins have kids, even my dad has kids the same age as my friends. My boyfriend and I never talked about kids. Everytime somebody brings the topic up we always say we r waiting to have a house. the other nite boyfriend had a couple drinks and the words came out his mouth” do u wonder if people thinks its wierd we dont have kids” the question i am so scare to face was here. but my luck he feel asleep right after that question. everr since that i nite its been on my mind. i sit at home and cry because I’m scared. what if i cant have kids? what he wont want to be with me if i cant have kids? I know after all these years it is time to bring the subject up, being as though we both been avoiding the conversation. I’m 25 and I’m tired of having everybodys kids, i want mine own. good luck to all you out there who are in the same position as me. I wish you all the best. As for me, I go to the doctors next month. Im very nervous.

  • Nat

    I know how it feels to have no one to talk to and because other people may not find it important to have kids it doesnt mean that it’s not important to me. I feel Luke im being punished or something why else would I be denied to have babies. I love kids and it breaksmy heart that every time I take a test it comes up negative. I know people say everything happens for a reason but I really can’t see the reason for this. I hate the world at the moment as I just dont want to be in it if I cant have children. I know this emotion will fade but at the moment this is how I feel.

  • Coreen

    I would also like to know if you ever fell pregnant? I have been trying for 4 years and nothing… I hope your dream came true xx

  • Kristen

    I know this is years later since you posted but I’m curious to know if you ever got pregnant! 🙂

  • Haley Mueck

    I have been in 4 Different long term releationships and never got pregnant. My mother had 2-3 miscarriages before me, set of twins miscarry and then had my brother. But me nothing at all. I used to cry or get upset/happy when i saw other women that were pregnant. THE ONLY ONLY ONLY WAY I COULD KEEP MYSELF FROM GETTING UPSET IS TO LOOK AT IT A DIFFERENT WAY::
    What if i died giving birth to my baby, I would still die the happiest woman on the earth.Or what if my baby came out still born or with problems. There are a lot of complications and risk for you and oyur unborn child to go thrU.
    yes maybe it isn’t or wan’t my time or the right person. But how many people in reality actually stay with their partner or get a long after pregnancy. Its kinda of hard to find now a days. if i were to get pregnant i would hope to be with the father. But thats a risk i don’t care about taking. I feel if i dont have a child: what part of me or my family will live on. I feel i will not belong to anything or anyone, same as marriage.

  • diana

    I got pregnant after trying for 1.5 years. we tried clomid, vitamin tablets , organic food everything.Finally my sis in law told me to write my desire in a paper and keep it in the bible. we did that and started reading bible every day. In that month we went to church and in our seat we saw the st jude novena that says pray this and your needs will be heard by God. we did that too and by that month end we saw our test results as positive.

    Eat good food, enjoy sex(counting the calendar and doing sex may not work always) and engage in other activities and strongly believe in God.That is our experience

  • Carrie Ann

    Kate, You could also become a foster parent. There are so many children out there that need someone to love them. It’s a shame that so many people that have children,don’t deserve them. Anyway, that aside if the child you foster is taken from the family for good, you will have the option to adopt for free. I just wanted to put that out there, it’s a good way to avoid very high adoption costs. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you.

  • anonomus

    OH yeah I forgot to mention the stupid sister in law doesn’t even know who the father of her “fake” baby is. SO WATCH OUT GUYS!!! as soon as my husband told his family is when this all came about.. and who throws a baby shower for theirself!!! her answer is to get fired from her job and collect WELFARE!!! oh and she lives at home with MOMMY AND DADDY still!! they pay for everything for her anyways!!!

  • anonomus

    I know exactly how you feel!!! I’ve had trouble myself and I’m 30. I went off my bc pills this past march. I had 3 periods then they quit all together.. I was having all the soft signs of being pregnant..but all the home tests and blood tests and even an ultrasound said Negative!!! In the mean time a friend who went off her bc pill a month after I did is now 20 weeks pregnant her first try and bam she’s pregnant..Then I have a stupid sister in law pretending to be pregnant.. I didn’t know your belly can get smaller and bigger in a matter of a week .. small then big and back to small again all in 1 week… for myself I’m going to keep trying though!!!! I want to experience a life growing inside me and we don’t have the money to adopt either. GOOD LUCK!!!! and GOD BLESS!!!

  • smile

    To all the women and men on this site: Stress and depression can cause you to not be able to carry a baby. Worrying aobut it so much to the point where you are harming yourself, wont do you any good at all. Not to say that it will be easy, but TRY to smell a rose; think of a time when you were truly happy and hold on to the happiness for as long as you can. Not the “well that was then this is now” thought, just the feeling of being happy. Try to do something that makes you smile atleast once, a day, then maybe twice. I’m not saying it’s a cure…and it doesn’t necessarily matter if you believe in God or not….but this is the life you get to live, so live it! None of you are failure’s but all of you are human (I hope anyways….:) You have every right to be upset, but every right to live you life in a happy place!

  • cindy

    I’m 22 years old, been married for 3 1/2 yrs, and have been trying to conveive for 3 yrs. I feel depressed, worthless, i feel that my husband deserves someone that can give him children! Infertility is eating me inside and out because i feel like im been fake infront of my family because they dont know what we’re going thru. They all have kids and everybody is always asking us that what are we waiting for to have kids, that we are staying behind. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore, sometimes i wont think about it as much but theres day when i just can’t forgive myself for holding us back from been parents. How do i come about telling my family what we’re going thru. I feel like they wont understand.

  • Edwina

    Hi Kate,

    I know what your going through. I have been married for a year now and still I cant conceive. Its so depressing. I just found out today that my sister in law is pregnant, I am happy for her but at the same time bitter with jealousy because I long to have a child.

    Why cant I fall pregnant?, sometimes I think that God is punishing me for something that I had done wrong. I pray everyday but still no luck.

    I cry myself to sleep at night. I feel depressed at work, useless and all. what can I do?

    I am in desperate need of a child. Life just falls right to the bottom when things like this happen. life is just too hard to live, I might even consider suicide but I am too much of a coward. I have not gone to see a doctor as I am too scared to hear those words “u cant conceive”….i just cant. I cant go for IVF as it will costs thousands of dollars.

    Life is just too hard to live

  • aliyah

    i am 21 years old, i have three year old daughter. after i had her i decided to have another one right away. i cant concieve i dont know what happenend.. it has been three years since we started trying.. did my body change? with my daughter it didnt take even a month. two month later after i delieved my her i started bleeding after sex? what is causing this? did something wrong with my c-section? I went back to my doctor and she said everything is normal. if everything is normal why am i bleeding? why cant i conceive..in my culture we are suppose to have many babies.. if you dont have baby people will start talking about you.. i am feel sad sometimes, i fill disapointed..

  • Pia

    I tried over an year and wasn’t getting pregnant. I harbored secret resentment to my friends who got pregnant even when they didn’t really want a baby. After doig rounds of clomid, fertility tests I tried Pre seed lubricant. Used it and lo, I was pregnant almost immediately. Had implantation bleeding 4 days after ovulation. Turns out, I needed lubrication as I was very dry which made it difficult to conceive. Now am 12 weeks pregnant and going strong.

    Lots of baby dust to all of you. Try Pre seed, am surprised how quickly it worked.

  • ikafai

    Hi there. Hi Kate. I’m so glad unexpectedly found this article and suddenly i know i’m not alone who suffer here.
    I’m surrounded by people who got pregnant easily, my mom, aunts, cousins, and friends. we’ve been trying for one and half years, and i always in a huge depression everytime i got my period. I feel that i’m alone who’s not normal here.
    I cried everytime i heard the news of a friend who recently married and then pregnant easily. I blame my hubby, i blame everyone around me, i blame mothers who yelled at their kids, and i even start to blame God.
    Seem like i’m gonna be crazy rite?
    But i do realize one thing like u Kate, there must be a reason why i’m not pregnant yet. And i keep telling myself never quit trying, never lose hope, and always put my marriage first.

    On Wednesday we’ll see Urologist, since the last sperm test of my husband showed abnormal sperms, low motility, we wanna find if there’s something wrong with him.

    let’s finger crossed guys.
    Like almost every people i met told me, it will happen in the right time.


  • Janz

    The author of the ebook i bought online sent this link to me.. i am 27 years old and really want to have my own baby. we’ve been trying for 4years now but still to no avail. my obgyne told me that i have PCOS. i tried pills, metformin and clomid 50mg but still i did not get pregnant. i always research online on fertility,ovulation and how to get pregnant, we’ve done everything and still hoping and praying in Gods time that an angel will come in our life..
    wish u the best of luck. hope God will grant our wishes..

  • Suada

    Wow . I know that all of you are very upset and that it’s not easy. I am 30 years old , and my husban is 35 we hav been trying to get pregnant for 9 years ( since the day we got married ) my husband has very low sperm count. We have tired ivf’ s sooooooooop many times. I gain weight and no luck. Every time we get negative answer. In January we starred seeing a urology doctor. He states that my husband needs to have a minor surgery. The vains that the sperms travels before release are to wide. So now we are waiting for this, he is a bit ugents it but we want children a d have to try all the possibilities.

    Everyone don’t give up, and remember what’s god wants it will happen. .

  • Hope

    It’s 22.30 I have just returned from a birthday bbq for a friends one year old. During the evening I learnt that another couple were expecting. The couple are mid to late 30’s, keen drinkers and smokers. My husband and I have been trying to concieve for three years. We are late 30’s and early 40’s so time is not on our side. I have PCOS, and we are trying the right route not jumping in straight to IVF. I try to maintain a smile and a balanced view on this subject. I believe with all my heart that I have married the most wonderful man in the world. We are happy, we laugh everyday, we have a full and complete life, I find him continually physically and mentally attractive. What I hate is my intermitent feeling of failure. It is nothing that I can control, hence the problem. I have more realistic moments of sanity and optimism than despare. All I can say is, it is not everyones god given right, but when the hormones kick in, there is no one that can tell you otherwise. A happy relationship is everything. I came from an unhappy childhood, and I would not swap what I have now for anything, baby or not. Without my husband, well…. it would not be complete, all said, I feel for anyone who has not concieved over a long period. The barage of daily comments needs intense training to deal with them…why don’t you have children, what is wrong with you? my all time worst….you are not a woman until you are a mother… bollocks! I am a woman, I love,I feel, I get angry, I laugh, I live and I do hope that one day I become a Mummy. I want to skip that sinking feeling of, I am happy for you, I want to be happy for me. To all couples trying to concieve, I wish you well and wish you the day when you look at that test and scream with joy!

  • Sara

    I’m 27 and live in Hungary. I still didn’t conceive, though I’d really want to. We haven’t been to a doctor yet, because I’m afraid of the examinations they’d do, but I’m wondering if there is a problem with me.
    I still believe that God would give what is best for us, and He is the perfect timer. I’m just so sad now…

  • Angie

    I am moved by your story so much. I never respond to these things…
    I am Happy you made the time and.. I am sad..to share your pain. I too cannot have children after 5 years trying. It is also “me”. I waited for my love (who I now have) I refused to have children with men I knew didnt love me and men who would leave me if I had their child..
    so many stories of couples who finally did it.. I love that you had the courage to tell the truth that so many of us deal with daily.. that we cant ever do it. And you are right it is the suprise of it. Everyone has a reproductive perogative dont they? but not us. And we find out so cruelly. And it costs us so much. Both of us, my man and me, are heart broken. I am not going to say best luck I hope you have a baby. Im going to say remember the soul you have in YOUR body. I LOVE that you say embrace the pain of loss, a grief, a death. I wish most people understood thats what it is.

  • Sam

    Hi, I am 28 years old and we have been trying for 4years now. Every night I cry myself to sleep, asking myself the same question why can I not get pregnant? The doctors have said everything is fine with both of us but still there has been no luck. However I believe that there is a reason for everything, maybe it’s not our time yet. I try to be positive but when you see other people around you get pregnant and see them really happy, it really hurts but then I think to myself, when will it be my turn to be happy? Only god knows.

    Just like to say have faith and I am praying for you guys.

  • Tish

    Six yrs strong and I’m only 24 but I have gave up on trying guess I’m just not one of them ladies that can have kids oh well my life has to go on… I love all of y’all dearly I hope y’all get to be the mom’s and dad’s y’all all have dreamt to be.!!!!

  • Tiffany

    This was a very beneficial article for me. I am also 27 and have been married for 4 years. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for two years. We got our hopes up once when I found out I was pregnant about a year ago, but within the weekend after finding out, I miscarried. The year that has followed has been excruciating. Still no pregnancy, meanwhile so many of my friends from high school and college are either pregnant or have had their babies. My husband’s cousin and his girlfriend (who live next door to us) even had a baby. So like you said, while I want to be happy for them, I am also angry and frustrated. I have not taken any fertility tests and only recently have started charting my cycle and BBT. Hearing that I am not alone (though also not wishing this kind of emotional rollercoaster on anyone) it is comforting to know that there are others who understand. I realize your blog was written about four years ago, so I hope things have turned around for you and that you have gotten to experience the miracle of pregnancy. But I also want to thank you for helping to put things in perspective for me.

  • casey

    Noone in this world can imagine the pain and hurt a woman feels when she sits on the toilet and wipes her period, in denial that it could be implantation bleeding. Its sad to see how many people are so insensitive to people who want children. A child is the most precious gift someone can have. Not traveling the world or saving money. A hug of a child or the little voice calling you mom cannot compare to anything in this universe. So before you say hurtful things to someone who’s reaching out to us for positive help, u guys need to think before you hurt people’s feelings. Good luck to u lady. I hope u get pregnant. I will keep u in my prayeres. 🙂

  • R

    Hi Kate, I am 27 years old and I have been married for 3 years. I have known my husband since middle school. I too have been trying so desperately to get pregnant and it has been hard. I’m to the point where I just want to give up. As much as I want to be a mother I don’t know if I have the strength to deal with it all. I hurtful knowing that my husband is ready to be a father and I can’t give him what he wants, but fortunately he has been very supportive and loving.

  • Pippa

    Month after month just keeping my fingers crossed that hopefully this month will bear some good news….but:-(I even got two pregnancy test strips hidden in my handbag so that if by any chance I feel something…I can test it….I went to work for a childcare nursery last month n there were all these beautiful,cute and chubby little toddlers toddling and playing around n I was soooo happy to see all of them n almost tears rolled down my cheeks for not to b having experienced such a beautiful creation of God myself…..Why did it had to happen to me? All my cousins and friends seem to get pregnant the very first time they try…its just that I never thought this would happen to me n I guess noone ever does unless n until we face the situation directly in our lives…I used to b such a chirpy,bubbly and lively young girl, happy-go-lucky always and now I am this fat,depressed and confused housewife who is unsure of everything around.I’m petrified of facing my parents and in-laws and their questions.I’m sick of taking preg tests and ovulation tests.Just so tired of discussing this whole thing over n over with my hubby…I try to keep my mind diverted somehow….watching movies,going out,talking to real close friends.Hope that helps.

  • Pippa

    I feel a lot better after writing here because just moments ago I was feeling miserable….feeling suicidal….confused and terribly frustrated.Now I pray to god that if u r giving me this hard time then plsss do give me the strength and courage required to face n handle the situation as well coz it seems that I don’t have any left……:-(((

  • Pippa

    It was sep 2010 when I first found out this blog and wrote.I’m so frustrated that its been almost a yr by now and I’m still not prego…after trying so hard 4 all these months.I fail to understand when all the blood reports and test reports are normal,we both are in perfectly healthy conditions…….why is it not happening? I’m 25 now and he’s 30….we love each other but now I’m so depressed n sad all the time that even Love isn’t enough I think….Everyone suggested not to think abt it, pray hard, eat n stay healthy…etc etc….I did everything to b happy n not think abt it……but it just took its toll upon us…now at times,during utter frustration,I fight bitterly with my loving hubby…..The worst part is I love him so much that I don’t want him 2 b sad abt this whole prego thing….but unfortunately I feel guilty 4 not being able to give him the happiness that he truly deserves…..n Oh did I mention the pressures from friends and family when it seems that everyone else around is popping out babies at worst possible times…..God what to do…I pray with al my heart for all of u out there…

  • Chrisinda

    I have struggled for 3 years before finally falling pregnant. I really want a brother or sister for my girl but she is already turning 3 and we have had no luck so far. I have also had lots op injections, pills, examinations, operation ext ext. It is not fun at all. But I must tell you that I will do it all again and more to increase the chance of having a baby. If I new all the pleasures my girl would give me I would have cried a lot more during my first 3 infertile years. Do whatever it takes. You would not regret it.

  • Cristy B

    Some people in this blog have said that this earth is overpopulated and that is selfish for us to want to have a baby. How ignorant and insensitive!You must not believe in God. God is not stupid, do you think He created the earth for his children to live in it and after He created, He went”… Oops, I made a mistake, it’s too small and not enough resources, darn…” God is not stupid, I have traveled all over the world and have seen from planes that there a millions of inhabited acres of land, plenty of resources, God got it right!the problem is that we unfortunately have corrupt governments who don’t know how to handle these resources. Dream on girls, I hope God fills your quiver and blesses you with kids to your hearts content. Do not lose your faith. Ask and it shall be given, knock and it shall be opened unto you. And if for whatever reason is not His will, trust Him, He sees the bigger picture, we only see a small part of it. He loves us, we are His daughters.

  • Cristy B

    Dear Father in Heaven:
    Please, comfort all my sisters in this website who are hurting so deeply, grant them the righteous desire of their hearts to provide a loving home for a baby as they turn to thee in prayer for that miracle, and when their prayers are answered, that they will remember to raise these children to walk in thy ways. Nothing is impossible to thee, please open the wombs of the barren and dry their tears.

  • Wannabe Mom

    Try being alone and trying to conceive – forced to pay $1100 for every try and being told 4 times – you’re not pregnant. Do I feel suicidal? Yes

  • rachel

    hi my is rachel i know how you all feel i just find out that i’m not pregnant i been trying to get pregnant but just can’t i really wanna be a mom . it just isn’t fair that everone around me keep have baby and i can’t have one . i’m 27 yrs old and wish i took get pregnany. i don’t inderstand how god lets all this teenage girls have baby but not me .this suck

  • Lu ivey

    Hi, my name is lu. Im 26 almost 27, n ive never been pregnant, nor had a miscarriage, not even a scare, n Im startn to thnk somethng is wrong w me. Thnx kate, for lettn me kno im not alone, this hurts, especially since all my freinds have kids or bout to. Im jus scared, n it doesnt help tht my bf is also 26 n has had two hernias n his balls as a child, he believes he cnt either. Weve been tryn, alot, also udin wives tales n myths n still no luck. We both talk bout havn babies, n still pray. It kills me to look at my bf whn hes playn w our freinds kids n c how happy he is, he always makes the comment to me, we could be, makes my heart feel a lil better. Thnx for lettn me comment, I needed to let ths off my chest.

  • Rachael

    Thank you Kate for sharing. I have been married 9 years and ttc for 5 years. My husband recently got another woman pregnant in one try. Talk about feeling less than a woman! Now at the age of 37 I know that there is something wrong with ME even though the doctors can’t identify exactly what it is. I wish I knew why god does not want me to conceive a child. Then maybe I could move on.

  • jack

    my wife is a fat ass and cant get pregnant. I want a divorce. im pissed off but listen, if you want to stuff your face and trah your life, do it on your own time fool!

  • Caline

    I’ve been married for 3 years and we have been trying to get pregnant for that period of time. We have had 4 IUIs and all 4 failed. Last year, I got pregnant on a natural cycle; however, I miscarried at 9 weeks. We found out that I had a high blood clotting factor and not enough blood got to the baby. Got that fixed with aspirin.

    This year, in March after 2 failed IUIs, we decided to take a break from all the medication that were driving my body crazy, and again that was the month, on a natural cycle, that I got pregnant. Both times, it happened when I threw my hands up in the air and said whatever happens, happens. I am now pregnant for 16 weeks; however, have had to deal with a major issue. 3 weeks ago, through a CVS and later an amnio, we found out that our little baby has Trisomy 13. This is worse than down syndrome and the abnormalities are not compatable with a normal enviornment. These babies in most cases die before birth, and those who do get born die with a month to a year of birth. I have consulted with 3 doctors and everyone has said that the best thing to do is to terminate the pregnancy. This is also to save my well being, as I could be at risk if the baby dies in the womb. This has been an agonizing time for us, ehically, emotionally and morally. However, my husband and I have come to the decision to terminate the pregnancy. It will be very selfish of us to give birth (at its best) to a child who will not live long after birth.

    I don’t know what God’s plans are for me, and why He has allowed me to experience this, but I have accepted His will. However, I am angry (don’t know at whom though) and upset.

    One thing I do know is that we won’t give up. We will try again. I have been pregnant twice, which is a good sign. I am told Trisomy 13 isn’t inherted. It is a freak accident of nature, and has nothing to do with my genes or my husband’s.

    When I look back, I have gotten pregnant every time I let go of the stress and need to become a mother and just said that I will enjoy my life and allow God to bless me with a child, when He knows it is the right time.

  • Stacy

    I tried for 10 yrs and nothing. I wasn’t ovulating. I finally got my weight down, blood sugar and blood pressure in check. I assumed my body was done. I am single and out of the blue I missed my period. Sure enough I am pregnant at the age of 41.

  • Asian 31

    Hi all/Kate 🙂

    I’m married almost 4 yrs now and been trying to have a child since last year. I was in my 8 weeks pregnancy when i miscarried this time last year and until today struggling to have a lil one.

    My hubby and I both been to a specialist and results were normal. I can’t help but still wonder why its so hard to get pregnant. Depression/anger/frustration is getting the better of me. I love kids and really praying hard that God will grant my petitions to have a baby somehow n become a fulfilled mother and wife to my husband. Only God knows when its gonna happen.

    For those who are still trying, i feel for you and my prayers for u all beautiful wives out there – I believe that God loves us and HE knows whats best for us ALL.

    G’luck God bless 🙂

  • Mellisa King

    It really hurts,Ave been married for almost 3 yrs now,ave tried for 2 yrs with no luck.But one thing i believe is that God is able to do the impossible.I have never gone for major tset neither my husband, but i believe i will hold my own baby in Jesus name.

  • Katie C.

    My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 7 years and ….nothing. I am only 23 years old (yes I know I started early) but I have always wanted to have a big family. I want a baby more than anything in the world and it has turned me into a bitter person. I have no friends left, mainly because I seem to be unable to enjoy life. All the friends I had, now have children and this has driven us apart. I am happy for them, but this is overshadowed by my sheer hate for…well I guess myself. There are so many times I’ll pass by a display for children’s clothes or toys and just cry. This is not only embarassing for me but I also feel bad for my husband. I know there is nothing he can do, but I feel like my depression has put a rift in our relationship. I know I sound crazy, this is the main reason for posting here, I need to get this out but do not want anyone around me to know how I feel about the situation. I have told everyone that we do not have children yet as a choice. No one but my mother knows the truth. I was the oldest grandchild and the only granddaughter. I was supposed to have the first great-grandchildren, and yet my cousins have surpassed me. My grandparents seem so happy with each new addition, I want so badly to have a child before they are gone. Adoption is not an option for us. We simply cannot afford it. Plus with our family medical history I dont believe they would ever see us as fit anyway. I can only hope that this lost feeling goes away. I get so very angry when I see people who do not deserve children have 3 or 4 of them. I work with children and I cannot tell you how many cases of abuse and neglect I have seen. These are the people who should not be able to have children, instead of people like me who can love and provide for them as they should be. It simply isn’t fair.

  • Joanne

    Hi Kate,
    Thank you so much for bravely sharing your story online.
    Ive read so many of the comments attached to this and hope that you dont take too many of them to heart.
    i wanted to let you know that my cousin and her husband were trying for 9 years…horrific huh. She would fall pregnent, but then miscarry before her 3rd month. An issue with her and her hormones, but you shoudl know now that they never gave up, and learned lots of relaxing techniques, put the ‘fun’ back into their lives instead of just trying and trying like it was an endless goal – they had made peace with the thought that they wouldn’t b parents until one day when she got pregnent, and stayed pregnent! a real miricle and after 9 long tiring year, they have a little girl, and what a cheeky wee thing she is!
    Don’t give up, dont listen to anyone who invalidates your feelings, you have every right to want a baby, and i hope that you could update this post with some great news one day! 🙂
    Its human nature and the reason we are hear, to pro-create and our natural instinct is to want to do this! I wish you and your husband all the luck in the world and in the meantime, just stick to having fun and loving life and all it has to offer for you both!

  • Maddison

    these posts make me sad… i have been pregnant 3 times and FALL STRAIGHT AWAY and trust me dont judge me and tell me to close my legs because u dont know why i had to abort these children.

    1st abortion. i was 16 the condom broke ( the after pill doesnt ALWAYS WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

    2nd abortion.i planned to have a child as i was financially stable and was engaged but then my partner had an affair and said he will not be apart of my babys life and i will NOT BRING an INNOCENT child into a WORLD with there biological father not wanting them!!being single mum is harder then it looks.

    3rd abortion
    i was being very careful and being safe untill i went up the coast to see my family and forgot my pills. so i had missed 2 pills.

    Pregnant with my 4th. I was on antibiotics and i SPECIFICALLY ASKED THE DOCTOR WITH IBLEX 500MG ANTIBIOTICS AFFECT MY PILL?!?!?! and he said no!!!

    and now im stuck here pregnant and now my partner has broken up with me & wont take me back. i finally started a NEW CAREER and open up a BUSINESS , i bought a new car, just put a deposit on a house everything is going so well.. i dont have time to have a baby and i feel guilty. and i know people say give it for adoption but really THINK TO UR SELF!! that wuld be HARDER GIVING ur baby away then aborting it!!!!! PLUS having to go THROUGH 9 MONTHS on pregnacy and then people asking where is ur baby ?? and on top of that my dad was adopted and his HEad fucked from it!!!!!

    i really dont know what to do!!! all i can say is if ur tryn to get pregnant just go with the flow stop thinkin bout it so much and also have sex 3 days BEFORE OVULATING so when the egg drops the sperm is waiting…

    i asked my doctor about the 4th termination. he said there is NO RISK of being INFERTILE from ABORTIONS. the rish of being INFERTILE is if u get an INFECTION AFTER the abortion. the healing process. and yes the scaring on ur uterus will tender it but that can easily be removed.

  • mel

    take back my last comment i am sorry. i was confused

  • mel

    this site is a load of crap man. i just released a load of my personal stuff to people tht i thought were on the conversation. Naaa are they hell… anybody thinking of writing on here dont!

  • mel

    Antoinette Brown… Im 19 and i really do think that im infertile. My mum was told that she couldnt ever have children…HA. But please dont ever let yourself go, keep hope and at the end of the day, life is what you make it xxx

  • mel

    im really scared. im 19 and been with my boyfriend 3 years nearly, i know thats not the best age to be having children, but i know that I can be an amazing mother with my soon to be fiance. After 3 years of having no protected sex I’m still not pregnant, I understand that its wrong not using protection unless you want children but now as me and my boyfriend are coming onto our 20s im gettin afraid that I cannot have children as we have’nt used it…ever. After not using protection with the person I would love to have children with what should I do, is there anything I can do, or ior is there anything wrong with me. Please someone give me some true advice as im too nervous to go to the doctors x

  • Sandra

    I would like to thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I have been trying for two and a half years. Over a year ago I got pregnant using clomid. I had a misscage at seven weeks. It is so fustrating that we haven’t been able to concieve again. I feel so sad and angry. My friends and family are all having babies and I just can’t help feeling unhappy. Like you we’d love to adopt but by time we save up enough money I just feel it will be to late for us.

  • Charita

    I get sad just thinking about it sometimes. And then i’ve had so many encounters were I thought I was prego and actually could of been, I even felt like I was, stomach got bigger, gaining weight, but it was yet another false alarm, how embarrasing is that? Im just sooo frustrated, huhhh…

  • Charita

    Hey ladies, I completely understnd your frustration about wanting to bare children, but not being able to. I am 23 yrs old and im turning 24 next month and I have been married for 1 year and 3 months anf i’ve Always wanted a baby. Remind you i’ve been working at a daycare for 7 years and im the infant teacher because I love babies and thats as close to having as I can get and the bond that I share with them is Great, but I truly want my own 🙁

  • patsy

    What a insensitive thing to say about the planet being overpopulated [personal attack deleted by comments editor] if you havent experinced infertilty please do not comment because you dont know what the fuck youe saying if you siad that to me in person I would slap you. An you are being selfish [personal attack deleted by comments editor]

  • Bill

    Sorry…..John is wrong. we are put here to multiply and have babies. Unsaved people don’t understand this truth.

  • Ola

    Hi All, I have read so many comments here, I just had to reply to offer Hope to all those desperate to concieve. Not been able to have children as it seems is a world-wide issue that affects millions regardless or colour, age or greed. I know of a book that I am prepared to buy and send it to every single person that is open to recieve it, if you read the Book with a desperate heart and geniue opened mind, I guarantee you that within less than a year, you would have got pregnant. The book contains 100% true stories of people just like yourself who have not been able to have children for years some up to 20 years, who read the book with heart felt seriousness and conceive shortly afterwards, some even in there 50’s, all true stories, some even conceived twins and triplets. The book is called “you shall not be barren”, If you are open to receive the book [personal contact info deleted] I am prepared to post people copies no matter where they are in the world at my expense, who ever sends me an email will not regret they did because they will certainly have a story to tell, the book not only details stories of totally hopeless cases of people trying to get pregnant, but also gives details steps that you can take to concieve, the Book is a christian Book written by a serious strong Pastor from Africa by the name of Bishop David Oyedepo and it seems that who ever just reads the book and follows the heart felt prayer within it from the bottom of there soul just conceives even defiling all medical explanations and assessments. The sepctives that think, what book could that be..its all fake, no worries, no problems, I’m afraid the search may just continue, however for those desperate enough to email me longing for a true change..in there circumstances I sincerely hope all your stories end in laughter, laughter of happiness and laughter of conception, no case is hopeless until you call it so, I have seen this myself. Please note that this is not a spam email effort, I have much better things to do with my time,but having read some heart breaking comments I am moved to offer help, particularly when I know many have over come this challenge too.

  • Nettie

    I never realized so many people were having difficulty getting pregnant. I think we always think its just us but we look around and there is a lot of others with the same issue. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for about 3 years now. I have a son I am truely greatful for! I just don’t know what is wrong with me now. Before I with a guy for 3 years and never got pregnant. Was young and glad I didn’t get pregnant I would have been way too young and stupid to be a mother but I didn’t get pregnant in those 3 years I was with him. Then I was with a new boyfriend (under the impression I can’t get pregnant)but in a few months and in no time at all I got pregnant not meaningly to we were together for a few years after having our son but didn’t work out in the end. But now I’m wanting another one and he wants a sister so bad and I can’t give that to him. He is definitely my miracle baby. Hes now 5 and I still can’t get pregnant again. I’m 26 and I know I shouldn’t be sad but I missed a lot of big things in his life by working and I don’t want that to happen again! I shouldn’t be upset cause I was lucky to get my son 😀 who I love more than life itself. I’m just confused. Why then and not now? There is people getting pregnant left and right. Its crazy. Just seems like I’m not suppose to have anymore. Sorry if I sound ungreatful and greedy I’m not I really think our bodies work in mysterious ways. I have a few friends and family members pregnant and they just got pregnant like it was a normal easy thing to do. Good luck too all you lady’s. I hope you all get to experience mommyhood wheather you become pregnant or threw adoption. Being a mom has its ups and downs like everything & changes your life in the best way possible! Made me learn a lot and grow up! 😀 HUGS to all!

  • cass

    I actually got teary eyed reading this… I have wanted so desperately to be a mother and haven’t taken birth control since I was 20.. I am 27 this year and have accepted that I obviously cannot get pregnant. I had a co-worker that got pregnant and didn’t want to be since the baby was from an affair she was having and she (knowing the problems that I had) actually had the nerve to ask me to drive her to an abortion clinic. I begged her not to do it… I would have gladly taken her child, would have even paid all of her medical expenses that were not covered with our insurance along the way. In the end she did it and no I refused to not take her. I am still trying and still praying. I also pray for you that you can conceive. So many people just don’t understand, but I do.

  • Sara

    Oh goodness, I just got through crying because your story moved me so much. I am going through the same thing. I have been trying to get pregnant, I am trying to acknowledge all these bad feelings I am having, it is so hard because your story is exactly the same as mine, I have only been trying to get pregnant for about 10 months though. It just hurts so badly. One of my friends got pregnant about a year ago on accident and was crying about it, not happy tears sad tears. Its just hard to understand. But I also believe everything happens for a reason, and I am going to see an gyno this month and Im just going to keep praying!

  • Heather Lilly

    I just want to say that it’s sad how many people would love to have a baby and there are so many children out there without a loving home.
    I, like most of you, came across this blog in hopes of trying to get some advice on how to get pregnant.
    For as long as I can remember that was the only thing I wanted out of life…to be a mom.
    I’m a newly wed of 6months and have been trying since the beginning of the marriage. For whatever reason I must be doing something wrong because I come up short every time I use the ept. It upsets me that I haven’t been successful yet in conceiving but I keep the faith. I have recently been told by a family friend of a fertility drug for both men and women and I’m pretty for sure it was mentioned here as well, so I well try it and hope I have good news soon. I know how it feels to avoid pregnant friends because you can’t deal with the pain. I may have not came across an answer to my problems but I don’t really have anyone to talk to about my problems and I don’t want to burdeon my husband who already blames himself for our unsuccessful attempts. So thanks for those who have expressed there feelings.

  • lisa

    I understand everything you said. I am in the same time frame as you and my cousin is only 19 and shes been pregnant twice after saying she can not stand kids. I have seen her with children she literally can not stand them and my other cousin burned her child because she was in her way now she has two more. A girl that married into the family got pregnant like a month after they were married and my older boy cousin has so many kids he honestly doesn’t know how many he has. I try to be happy for them but it is also very hard. I do have good news though about adoption. I thought it would cost that much too but I was informed if you go through dhs or your local office that deals with family services such as foodstamps that it is free. They pay for all the legal things you just have to get the chids room all set up with clothes and things as if you were expecting a child. We are in the early stage of it but so far it is going well. I am not sure if you knew this or if its been mentioned in other comments I read quite a few but didn’t see anything about this so I thought it would help. Its easier to use my email so if you ever wanna talk one on one my doctor said its good to have to talk to others who have the same situation and besides you could always use a new friend shastadoll_2009@yahoo.com

  • savannah

    Your story is exactly my story! I have the same feelings and emotions. I have driven friends and even family away because I just can’t find it in my heart to be happy for them. I know it’s very selfish but I want this more than anything! I feel so incomplete.

  • ALi

    i have a question if the tests are clear for the husband and wife then why wife is not getting prgnent.
    can some one reply my this question . i will be very thank full to them. [Personal contact info deleted]

  • clearhope

    Thanks so much Kate for telling your story.It can feel very isolated and lonely when trying to pregnant goes on and on.
    I can relate as we have been trying for two years now. I think its not knowing exactly what is wrong that’s the difficult part.

    I had a positive outlook for the first year, but the second year is taking its toll. At the school I work in all the teachers who I work directly with are pregnant (3 work in the same room as me !!), and two more also who I work closely with. They have conceived very quickly, and each time I am told the happy news, I am happy for them, but it breaks my heart too.Several friends have now started trying also, so more bittersweet news on the way.
    We too have thought of adoption, but I am thinking of going back to college , and so will have thousands in fees to pay , as I feel a happier more fulfilled me , will be good for myself,my partner and any eventual children (:
    I try to focus now on my lovely partner of 12 years, and how lucky we are to have each other.
    I am sending positive thoughts to you and all those that have posted here with similar stories.
    Maybe if and when a child comes either by conception/adoption or fostering a child who really needs a good family, it will be all the more precious (:

  • Susan I know how you feel. I’ve been trying for 7 years. And getting older. I’ve suffered depression and need sleeping pills sometimes. But God hasn’t abandoned you. God is a good god and loves you. He will bless the crooked path – Hold on to your faith. We need His guidance in our situation.

  • Antoinette Brown

    Dear Kate, I’m so thankful to have found your story. I really thought there was no one in this world that could possibly feel the same was I do, that I was being punished and at the same time feeling stupid and embarrased for feeling the way I do. My story is similar and different from yours, I have been dreaming about having a big family since I was very young. My grandmother raised 10 children as well as my greatgrandmother. As I got older and into my teens, I decided I would do it right and wait until I found the perfect one, who loved me and I love and I could tolerate for the rest of my childs life. I was in college when I decided to give it a try. I was fortunate enough to get pregnant. Then I have a miscarriage. If at first you dont succeed…So It happens again. Miscarriage. So I’m like maybe I should give it a break, get my body and health right and a year later, pregnant again. Miscarriage. Oh and the last time, I actually made it to 3 months, thinking my baby was alive but my first ultrasound showed it died weeks earlier and didnt expell on its own like the others. I had to have it taken out, kind of like an abortion. So it may seem like Im fertile, but my body cannot carry a pregnancy. I am now depressed. No diagnosis, I just can feel and see the difference in myself. I feel so worthless. So lonely, so so sad because I feel as if I have no place in this world, no purpose as a woman. I didnt realize other women around the world. with the same issue could have the same feelings as me. I pray you get your wish. I pray God plants a strong seed in you and that seed lives and grows. I hope one day soon or one day in the future, happiness comes your way. Thank you for inspiring me to write out my feelings like this. I never thought this would help me but it has. I feel as though writing it can better help me put into perspective where to go next? I’ve tried the fertility doctor and they don’t know exactly what is wrong either. But I’m more confident now, one day my dream will come true. God Bless.

  • Sarah

    For all of those who think you know and understand what we women who never get pregnant go through… it is a very heartbreaking thing to go through. After 15 years of marriage my husband and I adopted 3 beautiful children. We love them as if we gave birth. But it still does not take away the desire to actually feel that baby inside you growing that is a part of you and one you love. I would still love to have that. Good luck with whatever you and your husband decide to do.

  • boo1234

    Hi guys,

    ive been reading all the comments, we’ve been trying for nearly 8 months, & im coming to the point where im sick of peeing on a ovulation stick, just for it to be negative, every month. according to the doctor i do ovulate & am healthy but why isnt this happening. i symptom spot & think this is the month, then suprise suprise the witch arrives. my OH has told me to stop stressing about it, and it will happen when we least expect it, but its just not happening, and every month it kills me, it knock every piece of me & i can feel my heart breaking. i love my oh so much, we have a fantastic loving relationship, & all i want is to have a child with him but after the months of heartache i now think it will never happen. i take my hat off to people who try for years i just dont know how much longer i can go on this way, but on the other hand i want it so much. it breaks my heart evertime i see that negative on a pregnancy test

  • Saada

    My dear friend, I understand what you went through, because for the past 8 years I am trying to have a baby, I pray that you and all the women on this planet who are strugling without baby, without a child will conceive this year. I pray that all of us will conceive, and be happy parents this year.
    And do not listen to people who says many things. just believe, and never give up. We shall have our babies in our hands soon!!!

  • jack

    my wife blamed her inability to get pregnant on me and put me thru a humiliating experience. She is 150lbs overweight and (duh!) it turned out to be her. I just finalized the divorce yesterday.

  • Jo

    Hi everyone, I was 16 when I realised that I wanted children, about 10 of them! I married young at 20 and over the next 5 years tried for a baby with no luck. His family kept on about it as his brothers and their wives produced child after child. My marriage broke down and we divorced, the worst moment was when we appeared at the court for the decree absolute and he turned up with his new and very pregnant girlfriend 🙁

    I found an new man about a year later and we eventually married, we were together nearly 10 years before he ran off with someone that he’d also got pregnant. I felt so useless!! The doctors can’t find anything wrong with me. I have a large family, 6 siblings with 13 children between them and now I’ve just turned 40 their children have started having kids and I have 3 great nieces and nephews! It makes you wonder what’s wrong with you??

    After 20 years of trying and having told my new partner that I was unable to have kids the unbelievable happened and I fell pregnant last March… We were gob smacked then absolutely delighted. I would really love to tell you this story has a happy ending, but unfortunately life is so very cruel and after all of that I miscarried our little boy.

    I don’t know what is worse, knowing that you can never have kids as I thought before, as you eventually reconcile yourself with that fact or having something like this now to deal with? We’ve been trying again like mad ever since, and been back to the doctors and the hospital etc but my body clock is now against me and I’m too old for NHS infertility treatment so we’re not sure what the next step is. My doctor has advised me not to get my hopes up about falling pregnant again but how can I not?? Being pregnant meant everything to us and re-affirmed just how much we actually DID want a baby together…

    I guess we just have to wait and see what happens….. I’ll let you know!

    love and baby luck to you all, Jo xx

  • Mrs Shah

    I am getting married in few months and yes I am a 26 years old a virgin girl.. I am worried to death after reading this article and comments. Everyone seems to be worried about getting pregnant.I hope,I won’t have any problem.I m taking prenatal already. Goodluck to Kate and everyone else. I just prayed for all of you.
    May God helps you all.Amen

  • Amy

    Sorry, I hit send to fast.
    It is good to know that you are not alone, and I agree, adoption in one of our “next” plans, BUT for the cost of it! That need to be a mother is so deep and each time a new friend tells me they are going to “start” trying, I can look at my husband and say, in 3 or so months they will be pregnant. and I won’t be. Then to be asked to be a part of raising that child as a close friend is so horribly painful, because I do want to be there for my friends, but how can I be happy for them when this is something I have wanted for so long? uuuggh. ok. now I have to stop typing or I’ll short my keyboard from these tears…

  • Amy

    Thank you for this article. It is me word for word, other than I have not gotten over this feeling yet. I feel so… empty inside. I am an educated lady, I know my biology, bla bla bla, but this has become a purely emotional thing.

  • Faith 336

    I am a 24 soon to be 25 year old female & I cry everyday. I cry because every prayer I have every sent to the Lord has been answered but not this one, not yet at least. I want nothing more than to hear the words “I love you mom” from a child of my own.
    I know the Lord isnt making me suffer but I cry because everyday hundreds and thousands of females go to abortion clinics to remove a blessing that God has given them. If given the blessing I would accept it and embrace it NO MATTER WHAT! I dont care if my child was physically or mentally disabled I would love my child through it all.
    I certainly want to adopt a child one day but nothing compares to feeling life grow inside of you for 9 months. I want that feeling. I want to know what it is like to feel something so precious grow.
    I pray to God EVERY single day. He probably gets tired of hearing my same ol story day after day but I have faith in him. I know that if it is meant for me and my boyfriend to have children then we will one day.
    I am not as fortunate as others, I can not afford to do fertility treatments such as IVF & etc. I am stuck trying to conceive the old fashion way.
    Aside from being depressed and having a constant feeling of worthlessness the periods just make it worse. Every month you have this small little feeling like maybe just maybe I might be pregnant and here comes the menstrual. The blood tears. I sometimes feel like why must I go through the pain of the period if I can not get pregnant. It just makes me feel worse.
    I will say this much to the ladies and fellas out there trying to conceive just keep your head up. Never give up no matter what any doctors tell you or no matter how many times you see 1 line on the pregnancy test. Believe that a higher power up there will bless you one day.
    I have faith that he will bless us all one day with a child. I will continue to pray for myself and for all of you as well. Our day is coming.
    Remember to keep the faith! God is good

  • victoria

    omg i cant believe what i just read fr jonamonhonaman quote ”
    i am built to breed as a real woman is and should be. ” what a horrible thing to say.

  • victoria

    me and my partner have been ttc for 4 years now with nothing..:( we have had all the blood tests all ok i had a overy scan that was ok, and he had his sperm count ok but abit slow. now finally got my gyne appointment on the 15th march im praying that they will help us. the only problemis i have rheumatoid arthrits and on lots of medication so i dont know what they will say. i have recently found out 1 of the tablets ive been on for over 13 years sometimes causes reversable infertilty, which noone told me about,i found by checking the web. :0( my periods are usually reg but this month im 18 days late (negative tests) so i havent had it since 25th december, then on the 1st and 2nd i took a ovulation test strip and i was ovulating?? so im thinking maybe i didnt ovulate last month because if i was pregnant it would of showed by now surely??? theres only 1 thing i want and doesnt seem to happen for us. people saying its not the most important thing in life are proberly the ones that already have children. each to thier own i guess but nothing will ever take this feeling away apart from being a parent. x

  • Liz

    My husband and i have been married for 13 years this year, and have been trying for a baby since 2002. We’ve done three IVF cycles, all of which failed. We can’t afford any further IVF treatments and adoption is not an option either.
    I’m 36 and still feel like it will happen some day, but everywhere I look people are getting pregnant and it is upsetting.
    Over the years I have tried to move forward with life and not let my infertility rule my life, but it is hard. Occassionally I’ll be late one month and the little thoughts start in my head, ‘maybe this time’, and I let my hopes rise, only to be crushed when my period arrives.
    Its comforting to read everyone elses stories and I wish everyone well.

  • jonamonhonaman

    i can get pregnant, i love it so much, the feeling of a life growing inside u is amazing, if i couldnt have kids i know now i have felt this feeling quite a few times that i would have no reason for living, i am built to breed as a real woman is and should be.

    Game on joanne xx

  • Tanya

    Another year passed, another year without a child. My husband and I will have be married 13 years this year, we’ll both turn 39. . . Late last year was very difficult for us. We finally found the perfect home we wanted to purchase and we almost had it, but last minute lost it to someone with a cash offer. The reason I mention this is because we had hopes of finally moving forward. We were never blessed with our own child, adoption wasn’t working for us either, we had moved on to fostering children. The house we live in now is utterly too small to invite another person to live with us. We were so devestated. Then, the following month, 3 days after Christmas, my brother-in-law passed away at 41, leaving behind a family of his own. My husband and I were again devestated and I prayed very hard for a sign of hope. We needed a reason to move on, something to hope for and look forward to. I prayed for a child to help ease the pay of such a great loss. That month I was very late, but again not pregnant. We are so hurt and angry and don’t understand why?

  • missey

    I have been trying for about 4 or 5 years and still have not been able to get pregnant and I have not got pregnant yet

  • Rho

    Well, three years isn’t that long, try 18! I believe I hold the record in this country. I did IVF when they started out 0.02% chance it was the worst experience ever. My sisters, mother grandmother where all pregant in a playful moment but not me. My husbands family, no problem. I did acupuncture, herbs IVF etc you name it. I went to a faithhealer in Brazil. I had a little boy 1 year later at 42. 18 years of despair, anger, frustration, crying, hate, loathing, gutted, mood swings. People even say to you your selfish not having children, or suspicious about you looking after your children. you can’t win. I love children always wanted 7. I conceived when I was stressed out of my tree doing5 assignments and an exam looming for university. Stress has NOTHING to to with conceiving. If I had been brave I would have remarried. Going back to uni and changing my career was the best thing I did. It was under MY control. My husband has not given me any support throughout this empty and lost time. He has never shared his feelings. A hug or his presence during the IVF or the tests would have been terrific. I am back at IVF down the path again. It is much better this time. I will not give up. I understand with the greatest of empathy the emptiness and the wasteland you feel inside. Even when I felt dark inside I attempted to do something that made even a little bit of difference to someone else or to do something a little special for me, it let the sun shine back into my heart.




    ya this is what i was looking for,iam not alone!worse is that i think my husband blames me sometimes but i am going to stay posetive and pray to the lord to answer my prayers.i know 1day i will have a baby but that time is just not NOW.

  • coconut61

    Well, except the usual advise, there are tools nowadays that can help you with that.
    Some sites advise on fertility monitor or an ovulation prediction kit.
    but have you tried all the tips? this site describes it nicely, for example or this one describes the problems that may cause problems.

    Good luck!

  • Ashly

    I just wanted to say i have been trying for two years with no luck..i got a postive on a test once and three days later it was negative i didnt get a period for 9 months and gained 30 pounds..but no baby..i have had all the tests all fine.im on hormone medication and soon am to start the fertility program by a special doctor..Her name is Leslie Forrester she is a chiropractor in Poplar Bluff,Mo she has helped many woman and has helped me.I wasnt having periods and she put me on whole food medication and it is taking time but i get a period every 6 weeks now..im hoping once i get to the every month i can start the program with her
    Best wishes

  • jenny

    I am married for 5 years.Trying for a baby since last one year.Tried fertility drugs,did not work.Had 3 failed IUIs.I have resigned from my job because of these treatments.It was tough visiting clinics on an average of 15-20 days a week and then going for work.Sometimes I feel God is teaching me how to face challenges in life.Sometimes I am so depressed.I have lost interest in most of the things I enjoyed doing earlier.I feel really bad when my cousins/friends have their babies.My husband is quite supportive.But at times,he too gets frustated especially when we come to know that a cycle did not work.Most of his friends have kids.But I feel there would be a good day for me too.Lets see what God has in store for me.All I know is I need to be more patient and stay calm.I am determined to enjoy this wait period.Having kids is definetly an essential part of every woman’s life but not having does not mean its end of life.God has some other plans for you baby.

  • Jennifer

    Hang in there everyone! I’m SO glad I found this post…I’m not happy there are other people going through this, because I know what it feels like, but it does help to know I”m not alone. I’m 36, and have been married for 12 years. We finally found out the reason we can’t have children is because my husband has no sperm in his semen. They aren’t sure why, but most likely it is related to a cystic fibrosis gene or from scar tissue from a hernia surgery when he was little. Whatever the reason, there is NO chance of us getting pregnant. We tried IVF/ICSI which was horrible…I technically have no problem fertility wise, and from the very LOW doses of all the IVF meds I had to take, my body over-responded and they cancelled the cycle. I’ve never tried again because it was so painful and expensive, as insurance won’t cover it. I also cannot afford to adopt…$25,000 is actually on the lower side! I’m SO sick of people telling me “just relax, you’ll get pregnant” even when I’ve told them it’s scientifically impossible (no sperm=no pregnancy!!!). I am heartbroken. Severely depressed. I’m not even working anymore. I’ve given up even pretending to be happy for others who are pregnant. I’m not a bad person, but I seriously am just not happy when I hear about unmarried women having their 4th, 5th, 6th child when my husband and I cannot have a child. I’ve abandoned my faith in God. I’m hanging on by a thread. People who have not gone through this have no clue what its like. My heart goes out to all of you!

  • Sarz

    I just wanted to thank you for your story. Ive been married for over 5 years and have been trying for four. Your whole story is what I’m living exactly. So I just wanted to thank you, just reading everyone else’s posts helps me know that I’m not going through this alone.

  • JLG

    I want a baby so badly, I have wanted one for a very long time. I am 41. I am afraid decisions in the past that I have made with my body are preventing me from becoming pregnant now. I am also afraid my husband of 10 years has a low sperm count as well. The odds aren’t in our favor. I am getting used to the idea that I will never be a mother. Maybe that’s just the way it’s supposed to be. It saddens me to think this but I don’t see how we can get pregnant if we haven’t for 10 years ( not using protection 1x).

    Bless you and I hope your dream comes true.

  • vanessa

    I totally understand what you are coming from me and my husband been married for 5 years. We have been trying, did the infertility medicine and everything, nothing seems to work..it is very emotional, actually cried while reading your article because it pretty much sums up my whole life…with 13 nieces and nephews on both side, i feel like a loner. I really feel helpless, and not happy all the time. I don’t know , many people dont know what it feels like until it happens to you..Which it is and let me tell you it emotional roller-coaster….:( but good luck, and i guess im glad im not the only one out there.

  • Kimi

    Hi im 21 and a proud mum of one. My daughter liberty has brought the best out in me and makes me smile everyday. i feel for all women who cant have children because i know how happy i am being a mum spite the crying, late nights nothing compares to the first smile, word and steps. my dream is to help a mum who cant concieve and be a carrier i know i will have fulfilled a womens wish making her a mother.. email at kimcollier2010@yahoo.co.uk im more than happy to be a oven i dont smoke, drink or take drugs i have a relaxed lifestyle at college whilst libby goes to nursery. 🙂 x

  • chelle

    Hi im chelle and my husband and I tried the whole engagment trying to have a baby but it didnt work. Now its year two of marriage things are getting out of hand with much stress and i think my husband even gave up, he’s starting to point fingers at me like it’s all my fault we cant concieve what shall i do

  • sam

    hey im 25 years old and have been trying for 6 months now..had 2 misscarraiges and going through a massive deppresion now

  • beth

    i have been with my partner of 3yrs and since we’ve been 2gether i have not fallen pregnant once, i feel for u because i’ve been through all the tests for hormone levels fertility etc its not a easy thing 2 go through i must say this. all my closest friends and family have had kids and i wish that i could be just like them and have a big happy family. i hope that one day maybe i can actually have children of my own or i may well consider adoption. i wish u the best of luck kate and i hope u have a little family very soon 🙂

  • Crystal

    My name is Crystal and I actually googled “Why can’t I get pregnant” and I found this website. In a way I feel kind of obsessed to have honestly googled that topic but I really want to have children and thought that maybe there would be some tips and tricks that I might find useful. I’ve always known that I’m not alone with how badly I want a child but reading this I am really glad to know that I’m not the only one who feels all these mixed emotions and the jealousy. I am 20 years old and me and my husband met when I was only 12 and he was my first love. We have been together for almost three years straight this period of our on-going relationship and got married Aug.2, 2009. We have been trying to have a child for almost three years now and all I do is hope. I haven’t been to any doctors or really talked to anyone about how I feel because I am afraid that people will tell me that I we are too young to have children. It really just hurts that you see people almost everyday popping out babies left and right that don’t even know who is the father of their children and how people who really don’t even need children can get pregnant in a heartbeat, while on the other hand people who are married and faithful and that would give anything to just have one child and they would want to give them the world can’t even conceive. I inheritated alot of things from my mother that I really believe may be the cause of why I cannot get pregnant. Like I started my cycle at age 11 or 12 and never was regulated. The doctors had to put me on birth control @ such a young age but unlike most people that use it to prevent them from getting pregnant, I had to use it just so I could be regular (and believe me I had not even thought about sex yet.) I never give up and I just keep on trying. I think I’m just afraid to go to a doctor because I am afraid of hearing the truth that they think that I will never be able to have kids. So instead, I just keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting. In a way I believe that god has a special plan for me and I try to believe that my time will come when he wants it to come. But I will agree that I find it very difficult because my best friend is pregnant and she has been pregnant already about 3 times but she was on drugs and alcohol so bad that she miscarried all three of them. Now she is pregnant again but this time she is not on any drugs, she hasn’t picked up a cigarette or beer since she has been pregnant, and she is currently living in my living room with the father of her baby.(don’t get me wrong, they are only staying because their dreamhouse is being remodeled and we offered to let them stay with us until the repairs are finished because I don’t see any reason why a pregnant woman should have to stay in a hotel.) But I really want to be there for her and my new coming god son and it is really hard. I have gone with her to alot of her doctors appts and ultrasounds because the father of her baby wanted to be there but had to work and I find it really hard on myself but I don’t want to tell her that it hurts because I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable being around me. But I just want to know does anyone think it’s not normal when I’m in the ultrasound room with my best friend finding out the sex of her baby and I start crying not only because I’m happy for her but also because in a non selfish way I wish that I could be in her shoes. Well, I guess I still have a lot of time ahead of me to look forward to hopefully having children, but some of the bad effects of not being able to get pregnant at such a young age is that if I never get pregnant that is just something I am going to have to look forward to being let down about alot in the future. Well, I wish all of you the best of luck and I’m going to keep looking for some tips on how to get pregnant. Not giving up …

  • gaL220

    I’m relieved to read all of your stories….

  • Karen B

    Hi everyone!

    I wrote on here a little more than a year ago. Me and my husband had been trying to conceive for a couple of months before I first wrote on here. My husband is in the military and I’m always surrounded my military wives and all their children and babies…..

    I’ve been surrounded by pregnant wives… and usually babies born after wespac or deployments are called “wespac babies”….. usually the wife will be pregnant before the husband deploys or the wife is pregnant when the husband gets back from deployment…. we had been trying hard to get pregnant before he deployed but it never happened…. and it was hard seeing the wives of other military personnel pregnant or carrying babies….

    I was only 25 years old…. so I thought I was still young… but I finished college…. became a registered nurse….. and thought i was ready…… even the floor i worked on was devastating… because i used to work grave yard (12 hour shifts) and women on that shift usually got pregnant…. so people always said there was something in the water… but it never happened to me…..

    even after trying to get pregnant just for a few months… and not getting pregnant…. it was devastating…. i just hated myself and the world…because i have a cousin who is pregnant w/ her 3rd child and she didn’t even want to have another baby…. at first… i thought god just gave you one thing… because my cousin doesn’t have a job… her husband is cheating on her… but yet he blesses her w/ a child…..

    so i really don’t know how God works…. i’ve prayed to God… and have had my share of crying a waterfall of tears… and holding a pain in my heart that could not be relieved by anything… however… my husband left Sept 2009 for a 7 month deployment and during that time… i’ve kept myself busy w/ work mostly…. and enjoying being out w/ my friends who are single and have no children…..

    and husband got back in April 2010… at the time…. i still wanted to have a baby…. but i was very pessimistic because time had healed the scar in my heart when he was away… and slowly started living again….. and so i was not hard core into making a baby…..

    we both agreed…… “let’s just let it happen” …and so we weren’t really trying to have a baby…..just going w/ the flow of things… Out of intuition….. i was just curious…. more like “what the heck”….. and took a pregnancy test May 1, 2010…… and it came back positive….. couldn’t believe it and took 4 more pregnancy tests and they all came back positive……

    went to go see the doctor the next day… and they confirmed I was pregnant… but yet… i didn’t want to believe it until i saw the baby in the ultrasound….. and finally say the baby on the ultrasound and got to hear its little heart beat

    I am currently 36 weeks and due Jan 7, 2010… but like all things…. I don’t want to count my blessings before they actually happen… like i will not be truly happy until the day i would be holding my beautiful healthy baby in my arms…

    all i can tell other readers is…. have faith in whatever God you have believed in… God works wonders and the day God gives you the gift of a child… he has reason he had given you that child that specific day…. mostly….. stay positive…. it doesn’t help to conceive a baby if you are always down in the dumps…. keep yourself busy and when you least expect it or actually stop trying it can happen!

  • Amanda

    I was told just over a year ago that it will be dangerous for sure and probably impossible for me to conceive and carry to term. I cry every time I talk about it. My finance’e and I have decided to adopt but it’s still not the same. I hope you have one to call your own. my mom says my baby just hasn’t been born yet and she’s right because Bill and I are no where near finalntially ready but all my closest friends(other than Bill) now have a baby, and I’m left out.

  • Lacey


    I cant believe i am writting this. I am 25 my husband 28 we have been married for almost 2 years now. I was born without a uterus and have known since i was 16 that i could never have a baby. When i first found out i was younger and it wasnt near as bad as it is now. I am at the age now where i want to be a mother more than anything in the world. I feel so left out when in groups with women, they all have something in common, they all talk about their kid/kids. i just cant take it anymore. i cry all the time. i dont know what to do. i wont attend baby showers. I went to a friends a few years ago, and had to run out because i broke down and just lost it. i feel like i am always holding in my sadness, sometimes i lose it and let out a really hard cry and it feels better…for a while. i feel like there is a hole in my heart and it hurts all the time. I envy women who have children and catch myself just staring at women who is expecting. i dont like the way this feels, cause i almost feel like i hate them. i would be a better mom. Seeing everyone eles post today has made me feel a little better knowing that im not alone. it’s hard to remember that, when you dont know anyone around you who knows what your going through. Thank you for all your storys.

  • Sara

    As much as I hate to say…I know what you mean. My husand is doing the dishes and I am trying everything to not cry.

    My husband’s sister had her fair share of men so she went to women. About a year ago she decided men weren’t as bad as she thought and bam she was pregnant. I love to see her glow and everything but i try so hard not to cry. Unfortunatly she isn’t the only one in my life pregnant. His brother just had a a boy 2 months ago and a 2 year old girl. For thanksgiving we went to go see them and all i could do is hold the baby and smile.

    My husband and i have been trying for a year and a half. At first i thought it was him so i made him take fertility pills but as the time passes by i feel like its me.

    Someone Please tell me what i can do. I cant handle the stress and the feeling that i will never feel what its like to be a mother.

    As for you guys im happy for the ones that got the happy ending and as for the rest. I hope for the best.

  • natasha b

    Hi number 3 I’m sorry to say but you have no clue what us cicks feel like trying to have a child with the person we love so much and nothing happend that dosent make us selfish it just makes us happy to have a kid we can share our life with and adopting a baby is not the same feeling as having your own. But any way I know wat all you chicks are feeling it sucks and so time you wonder why me and why can’t I be the specail person to be come a mother I should of been and its not easy for people like us . My mom always brings me down with so when are you going to have my grand child wen knowing that I’m the only one left to not be a mother out of my brothers and sisters well only shape for one and he is 16teen but it hurts because me and my fieonce is trying like hell and doing wat ever we can and still nothing and it puts me down in a dark place were so times I can’t eat can’t sleep I stay awake at night thinking about it so I know wat every one with this problem is going threw and all I can say is I hope some day your wish comes true as well as mine and just hange in there you can never know what happends .(Natasha b)

  • gambit

    my wife cant get pregnant; now im filing for divorce

  • Krystal A.Thomas

    hello Kate, my name is Krystal…. and I have been trying for many years to get pregnant as well. I know how you and all the other women feel. Reading your article and the other comments brought me to tears…. My doctor did assure me that I am not the only person with this problem, but reading and hearing just brings me back to reality and proves that this is not just a bad dream. I find myself being so depressed at times that the only thing I can do is cry and ask God why me? I then begin to think about all the women that get pregnant and abort ( not for health reasons ) I know many women who have 2 or 3 abortions and they still get pregnant again. Yet here we are who want so bad to have a child and God has not blessed us with one. I am not one to judge but I can’t help but feeling like its unfair. I always feel like I dont pray and ask for material things. All I ask for is to bring a child into this world to love and care for. My Fiancee wants a child more than anything else in the world as well. It hurts so much when he says things like ” babe, when will you have my baby?” and all I ccan say is ” I dont know I hope soon “. All my friends ask me when will you have your child and its so embarrasing and depressing that I pretend that I dont want a child now,and that I am ” waiting for the right time “. I feel like I’m less than a woman…. all i can do is continue to pray for a miracle. Ladies you are all in my prayers. God Bless and Good Luck! **big hug**

  • Nal

    Hai thr……….I wan 2 know sumting………….help me…………. I have sex and the sperm in for one time one…………Then the following time i nvr in sperm…Thr got any of change 2 get pregnant?

  • I guess ovulation monitors help..try them

  • MissK

    Please help keep me and my unborn baby in your prayers and I’ll keep you in mine too… and Thanks for all the posts – they helped keep me strong.

  • MissK

    I have been trying with my husband for a year now and Ive already had 3 miscarriages and I’m currently pregnant after taking Clomid, am afraid not to loose this one too… I’ll die. *tears in my eyes*

  • Lillyann

    I can’t stop the tears rolling down my cheek when reading this. how many like me want but can’t. when I see the news how a father or mother killed the baby it make’s me sick. why god gives them babys, but we can’t? the ones who will love and cherish ever morning waking up at 1 and 2, only getting a hour of sleep.. and then he gives the stupid dumb people babys? like really?? or the single mothers who just want a father figure so they sleep with any and all JUST to have them but end up with more kids as the dad walks out on them. or the duggers wanting MORE.. is 20 not enough.. (a t.v reality show on TLC) I can afforda baby that I know, but the testing for me or my husband I can’t. adopting is far to much when you think about it. just to give a baby a home you have to pay thousands? having to go to a baby shower more then 10 times a year and yet you had not a one. trying to keep the faith in god but starting to re think it all when he gives half witts babys and not loving mother and fathers such as us. my story is not like most, however I have tried and nothing. I was raised to share my feelings, and that I do well. but when it comes to this I never let it out till I had it with my sister having no job, not wanting a job, thinking that her boyfriend can support her, the two little ones him , cats, dogs, no home, living with his father due to he can’t keep a place for more then a moth. can’t keep a job for more then a year… and is planing to have YET ANOTHER. or when your best friend has a girl and you want one to grow up with hers to be like us. seeing a women walk down the road with 7 kids all in rags, not well fed, and for sure no heat in there home winter time when most are sick 99.9% of the time. I hope that all of us can have some peace with the fact we just can’t. or do get our with and have the bond with such a amazing person that is your blood. I am going to try again in hopes my dream will come true. I hope you all never stop trying. it is never to late! my 50 year old brothers mother has proven that to be true!

    again thank you ALL for your postings.

  • Star

    I want to thank you very much in posting this. I know the feelings you are feeling “kinda”. I only tried for a year before I found out I was. I took over 100 pee tests that all but one came back -, the last was a faint +. took one more with my doctor and they said it was a -, so she went on and did a pap for me. right as she got done the nurse came in and said it’s a faint positive so got me in for a blood test that came back positive. a few week went by and one day at subway I felt as if I was starting my monthly. went into the bathroom and I was, cramps 10x worse then anything, but the pain was nothing to my fear and broken heart of having to go into the er that moment and not wanting to here that I had a miscarriage. they did many tests and other things only to tell me I had a 50/50 chance of keeping it or loosing my baby. 3 weeks of blood work went by and I got the call that set my depression in. my hcg levels went down. now what? wait and try again, or go back on birth control? last month 3 years ago is when I had the miscarriage and till this day I am still afraid to try. not that I haven’t. my sister is working on baby #3, my aunt has 4, my mom had 3, my aunt had 2, my uncle had 4, my dad had 4, and so on and more more more babys.. I feel as if I am also in this as NO one in my family have had the same problems. I was given meds to help me try but failed. I feel as if the almost 5 years I have been with my hubby that he is ready to pack up and leave me for someone who can, or who will try without being scared. I know he wont and never will, but that will never stop my mind from wondering in that direction. my 15 year old cousin is about 3 months along and so badly wants me to adopt the baby. I would in a heartbeat;; however my hubby is not having it, said no right from the start. I can understand him but at the same time why make this baby go to a foster home when it can have a loving home with us, and still stay in the family. (yeah kinda odd I know but who wouldn’t not only help there family out, but have a baby at the same time when you think you can’t) stress WAS a problem with me. always wondring why everyone I know is having a baby and not me. always getting asked why we don’t have a family yet. but I look at it the same way as others. not my time. nothing I ever type sounds right on the computer as it would coming from my mouth but I hope many and many of you know there is a god and he works in very strange ways. so keep your head up, and I wish ALL of us the best of luck.

  • Zayda Kebede

    To all those who are hoping to concieve I’d just like to recommend trying complementary therapies. I have been fortunate enough to treat 3 women with homeopathic remedies who did get pregnant quite quickly. The fourth lost patience after about 3 appointments, and went off to fertility treatment, and got pregnant immediately, presumably because the remedies had started to have an effect. Look for a homeopath ini your area who is registered with either the Alliance of Homeopaths or the Society of Homeopaths.

  • Colorado

    What we may not realize is having or should I say wanting to have a child is not shelfish, when you are with the man you love, and want to be with this man forever, you want to share something special with him. I selfishly gave my viginity to someone I don’t care about, wishing and begging I didn’t do it. Why can’t I give the gift of a child? Can you imagine, the one you love and what you just created. A child is a creation and is truly a blessing to have. Knowing you and him made the biggest connection to your hearts, a child, sharing both your blood, doesnt that sound amazing? I have been trying for over a year now, and with hope still, this child will be the greatest gift of all. We share together, making or connection so passionate and so close. I love you honey, and I cant wait to create the best possibility of man kind with you! Good luck to you all, over here in Littleton, Co

  • Victoria G.

    Well i know that this thread is several months old and perhaps noone will see this but sometimes it is better too talk even if noone hears it.

    i will be 21 years old in december *less than 41 days* and i have been with the same man since i was 18 years old. we were married last december when i turned 20. We have been trying too conceive since i was 18. but too no avail. and it hurts. every month that goes by i just want too break down cry my hear out practically die. I was raised too be a dependant woman but also too be a good mother. But yet we have only had success once, and it resulted in a spontaneious abortion. i fell apart and could not even sleep with my husband for 3 weeks. i was heart broken. and i often wonder if there is something wrong with me. my family is so fertile that they LOOK at the opposite s3x and boom they are pregnant.

    So what is wrong with me? well i was hit by a car at 16 had some damage and a head injury. then i was on birth control that had me on my period for 6 months not a days break! did that do something too me? i dont know and i dont have the money too get tested nor too get my husband tested….

    sometimes i wonder if god is punishing me or if i just dont deserve a child! even writing this article i am in tears. I want too have a child with my black hair and bone structure and his beautiful eyes. have his baby….we have had the names picked out for almost 3 years now…perhaps i will never be a mother…but i hope that i will because, that is what i truely want. i want too have a child one of my own.
    MY baby

  • People should mind their own business and not be telling other people what to do…

  • kary

    Susan, if you are in this state of mind and financial problems to worry about, it is very selfish of you to want to bring a child into this world. Also, since you are older than 35, the child wouldnt have you around as long as they would like to. People shouldnt have kids after 35, it is way too selfish. Do you think a child is going to help you cope with being 44? go to church and read the bible or something, do something for you to make you feel better, but having a child seems like a horrid idea in your situation.

  • Shannon

    I am 28yrs old and never been pregnant. I always wondered why it seems like I can’t get pregnant. I’ve been trying for 2 yrs and nothing has happened. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy that some of my friends are married and have kids but it sucks when everyone around you have exactly what you want to have and can’t seem to get. I’ve been heartbroken for so long because I figured I would at least have one kid by now considering that I’m in my late 20’s and 30 is appoarching very closely. Well about 2 months ago I went on line and I googled fertility pills and found something called fertilaid. They are recommened and approved by doctors that it is safe to take and they are like an herbal supplement with chasteberry to help indeed get you pregnant. I’m not pregnant yet but I told one of my friend’s about this and what happened to me while I was taking them and she said it sounded like I had implantation bleeding which is a sign of pregnancy. I was thinking the same thing when I looked it up but I took a test a couple of days ago and I’m not supposedly but I will definately keep trying. So if it helps try fertilaid, it may not get you pregnant right away but it will help regulate your cycle while trying to get pregnant so good luck to all because I’m definately going to keep trying until I achieve pregnancy.

  • Sandra

    Me and my husband have been married for 13 years , i did evry thing —————————————— i don’t knew if ???

  • sarah

    i am so depressed and feel so alone and angey it feels as if everyone in my life gets pregnant. Every month it feels as if a little more of my heart gets torn away and broken. Ever since i can remember i wanted to be a mummy. I am 27 and my husband is 35 we having been trying ttc for 2 years now which feels like forever. When i recently found out my sister in law was pregnant i stayed in bed for nearly 2 days constantly crying i just felt so sad angry. Not only angry that yet another couple were pregnant but angry at myself for being so horrible. All i want is to be a mummmy and for my adorable husband to be a daddy. Please if someone is out there and could talk to me i would be grateful for a reply xxx

  • PLEASE SEE POST 416!!!!!

    Few people can put their heartbreak into words as eloquently as this Lady’s original post. You are an inspiration Kate, one of life’s giver’s, and in return, you received.

    “Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace”
    A. Earhart.

  • AshleyP

    Like most of you, I’m trying to conceive. I have been blessed with one beautiful healthy daughter and I thank the lord for her everyday. She is now 5 1/2 years old. Since I had her, my husband and I have never used protection and we never used protection before we had her either and we got pregnant pretty fast but here we are 5 years down the road and not another baby. We havent really been trying the last 5 years but we havent not been trying either. With never using protection, and getting pregnant to easily the first time, I didnt figure we would have any problems. Just here in the last year I have really been trying and I really want another baby and my daughter really wants a little brother or sister. Everyone around me is having their second, third, fourth and so on child and I hate to admit it but I’m bitter and sad and upset and I tell myself Im not going to let it get to me but I let it everytime. I cry about it everynight cause I’m just feeling like its never gonna happen. What could be wrong with me? I had no problem getting pregnant the first time. Im just so confused. Im hoping myself and all you on here can have your dream come true and get that positive test! baby dust to you all!

  • Clare

    I agree with most women on here and think Dennis is an idiot. I have only been trying for 8 months but I do have endometriosis.

  • nikki c

    Me and my better half have been trying to get preggers and no luck I’m going to get my tubes checked on wenes I want my own kids to carry are name I want my own fam adoption I’m not rolling with I want my own blood

  • wendy

    Hello, I’ve been on the pill fort over 13 years and stopped it 3 months ago and still not pregnant what can I do please? Thank you

  • amy greene

    hi me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years , im only 19 so this might sound crazy but we have been trying for a baby for the last six months having unprotected sex every SINGLE day and nothing seems to be happening . im am really worried because i really want a child and its getting me down really down .i would love to go and see a doctor about but would feel silly because of my age . i really dont no what to do . and kate i feel so sorry for you ive only been trying for six months and i feel like this so i just cant imagine how you feel .

  • Christine

    I am 40, have been married for 10 years, my husband had two children and a vasectomy from his 1st marriage. He said he would have it reversed but we never had the money and when we did have it had been almost 10 years since his vasectomy and the odds were not on the side of pregnancy for me. So we used donor sperm and after 5-6 IUI treatments, still no pregnancy. We couldn’t afford any further IUI treatments or testing to see if anything was wrong with me physically, since my insurance didn’t pay for any of the fertility treatments. We/I decided to adopt thru the Foster Care system, at least in KS it is cheaper than conventional adoption.
    I get very frustrated with my husband, he says he wants children with me but doesn’t always act that way. He/we have been thru Hell with his daughters and Ex in the last five years. Not only have I dealt with my own pregnancy problems but one of my best friends has similar troubles but without all the financial stress, her insurance covered her infertility treatments. My friend understands but she got pregant and has a great son, what do I have?
    I feel, like I missed out on something, that something is missing in my life. When women start talking about their pregnancies and deliveries, I feel left out and uncomfortable. It also makes my work environment stressfull, I work with women and young girls who are pregnant.

  • ash

    yes 25 and married 5 years. No Children. husband had a vasectomy reversal one year ago(so TTC one year) Not pregnant. (vasectomy was from a previous marriage and she kept getting pregnant and hemorrhaging – basically he got a vasectomy for her Safety 25+ years ago) But of course they had a child together.
    Anyway he is fine everything is flowing great.
    wtf is wrong with me?
    I’m young work out too much maybe? to much testosterone? Not enough body fat? Stressing out and annoyed that EVERY SINGLE person my age is getting pregnant even before they tie the knot…. My husband already is a father, he wants kids but he does not understand my position a s a complete failure that his x and other women everywhere have no trouble at all

  • Nicola

    I havent used contraception with my husband for the past 8 years, im 26 year old woman, im ovulating but no monthly period!!! everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant, 2 younger sisters, 3 of my cousins and my best friend….really hard hitting to watch pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, infants and still not a mother myself….it really is a scary thought to not have my own flesh and blood with the love of my life…i would be a great mum and my husband matthew will be a fantastic, brilliant, amazing dad =] i pray it will happen for us xxx

  • Nicola


    How dare u even leave a comment like that, u have no right, no understanding and no empathy for this situation, u dont know how a woman feels and never never will [Personal attack deleted by Comments Editor].

    u will never know how humiliating, how hard, how sad and how desperate a situation like this can make a woman having difficulty/no luck concieving feel. How is it selfish to want to be a mother???? please do answer????, why should she / we consider adoption first without trying every possible avenue to have a baby of our own???? who are u to even comment. If adoption means so much to you, then off u go!!! people like u make me feel sick…. disgusting man!!!!

    Kate… hun i wish u all the happiness in the world, i pray u are blessed with a baby of your own to love which ever way u decide to persue =] and i hope that people such as ‘Dennis’ do not bring you down. xx

  • Shiny Sharal

    I have been Trying to conceive from past 4 years without any luck, I miscarried once, I am so disappointed every time I will have my A/F , Annoyed with everyone and so depressed. Do not want to step out of the house. Just hate this life.

  • Rachel

    I found your blog or article, not sure what it is, but I found it spot on. I had a child when I was 17 and she is my pride and joy. 7 nearly 8 years on after wanting another from the minute she was born. My husband and I decided that yes now would be a good time. But the more we try and the more we wait the more our hearts are broken. It is hard to think that what you want so bad and what others are doing in the blink of an eye could be so earth shatteringly difficult. I often regreat not trying sooner, I blame myself for not trying even when the time might not have been right in our lives. And I feel bad because I already have one child and I should be happy with that.

    I also find that often there is no help for the emotional rollercoster women who are trying to concevice and failing to do so go through. Doctors just say give it more time. Keep trying you are young. Family say it will happen, when you least expect it. None of this helps when you lie in bed at night and cry or sit at work and do nothing but pine and look up ways to improve you lack of conception technic.

    The only little help you have is knowing that other women feel the same way. That even when you feel alone you aren’t. I hope everyone who is trying and have fail will at one point be happy with or with out that child they so desperatly want.

    I will keep trying. I have no other Option and maybe it will happen maybe not.

  • lauren

    Hi I’m touched by your story I also have had problems I’ve been with my partner for 3 years and we have never once used protection and only been pregnant once but sadly I miscarried ever since I will go months without a period then come on extremely heavy iv been to the doctors and he said you’ll be fine just keep trying but he didn’t examine me or anything I’m distraught and keep thinking I’m not fit to be a woman and the fact that I’m only 18 makes it a hell of a lot worse. All I can say is just keep doing your best and hope one day your dreams do come true as I am myself 🙂 x

  • Jessica

    Dennis, didn’t your parents ever teach you about compassion or tact?

  • Dawn

    Need to know that there is hope. Hope to need the knowledge. Just took another pregnancy test; and my 25th in a row has been negative. (being one a month for 2 years and one month) I found this article in frustration. I read it with tears in my eyes. I’ve decided today to give up, because the doctors tell me everything is fine.

    Kate; I hope you had your happy ending.

  • Ababy

    Is there any over the counter medications you can take to help you and your partner to have a baby or does it all have to be prescribed by a doctor?

  • Haydee

    Thanks Nara I will give Dr. Kim a call. Hopefully I have a baby soon. =)

  • Haydee

    I am 19 years old and I am married. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby but no luck. Last november I got a cyst removed on my left ovary. I got checked and my doctor said everything was fine. We want a baby of our own. I am afraid I could never have kids =( maybe there is something wrong with me..??? =(

  • Daisy31

    We have been trying for a year too and I am terrified I wont be able to have children and give my husband what he (and I) so desperately wants. I have wanted children for as long as i can remember. I just keep thinking maybe this is God’s way of telling me I would be a bad mother.

  • Betty boop


  • elisa

    hi, having sex for a baby is very stressful, it puts alot of pressure to perform as you are only concern about the end result. my husband and i got to the point where we jus couldnt for 4 mths after all the schdule times of ovulation calculation, many test results being negative etc

    2 years later since we first started trying, we are more in an acceptance this may not be for us, we are still trying just not with a schdule, temperature or mucus update. we worked out the best thing for us will be every other day roughly as the sperm can live up to 72 hours and its too weak if more than once a day everyday our doctor said.

    still hoping to get there, i hope this is some help.

  • Jenna

    when is the best time to do the deed, because we were doing it like 4-5 times a day 4 times a week, then switched off to 3 times a day everyother day because thats what the doctor said. now its like everytime i go to have sex with him all i can think about is the fact that he wants a baby and how i can give him one… please some advise would really help!

  • Jenna

    me and my boyfriend have been trying to get pregnant for the last 4 months, i get sypmtoms, then they go away… month after month i wait. he rubs my stomach every night asking when im going to give him a son, and my only answer is “when the time is right” i want to give this man a baby. i just dont know if i can have children

  • elisa

    Jenn (514)

    your view has combined all my torture for the last 3 years. adoption. PCOS, failure, part of a grand plan of natural selection – all things i think of day after day.

    thank you for helping me feel less paranoid its jus me in this world who is going through a million emotions a day.

    i am currently stalking my pregnant sister with loath, envy and hope all in one. As her FB is full of scans, weekly photos of her bump and her 1 year old

    makes me feels awful, but its like a drug

  • Jules

    I’m in tears because this same exact thing is going on in my life right now. He has 1 child from a previous relationship. I feel so along b/c ALL of my friends are either preggo or already have a child and I’m 25. Its been six years of unprotected sex and nothing, NOT A SLIPP UP , ABORTION, MISCARRIAGE, MAYBE, or I THOUGH I WAS,….it really hurts in my heart.

  • Mia

    What can friends and family say or do?

  • emma

    i am 27 i have had one chid and i would like another one but i can not have one becuse i have been trying for the last 8 years and still nothink i get realy down some days and it takes me ages to pick myself up then i think to myself i will get there one day and so will you

  • Jenn

    Does it seem strange to anyone just how many couples are infertile these days? I am in the same category. I (like need help) alos have PCOS. Getting pregnant (I’m told) is not impossible, but not probable without help. My husband and I have been trying for about 2 years…and not preventing for nearly 4. We have tried clomid in many doses. The only difference in the increased dose was my increased desire to kill someone! Not really, but the mood swings were intolerable.
    I am very lucky in that I have THE most loving, caring, and supportive husband in the world. However, I am tortured by the fact that he is also the most intelligent, gorgeous and perfect husband in the world. I feel as though I am really harming humanity by not being able to have a little him. Not to mention the fact that he would make the most perfect father.
    Like most here, I have always wanted to have children, but I have also always felt a desire to adopt… to help a child. One of each was sort of the way I thought my life would go. But every month I seem to get a different perspective.
    We have not gone above and beyond to conceive. Aside from 3-4 rounds of clomid, we’ve just been trying te old fashioned way. But every time I get a monthly (although its more quarterly for me) reminder that I am not pregnant…again…I go through all the pain and sadness. For those of you who have tried more invasive methods to conceive, please do not take offense to this. What is right for you may not be right for another, and those methods just feelwrong to me. I feel as though I would be disrupting the natural order of things. What if the growing rate of infertility is the natual way of comabaing the overpopulation. Maybe its part of natural selection.
    I don’t know. I go back and forth. Some months I accept failure and decide to focus on adoption. But here is the problem – my idea is that I would be helping, right? That I would be saving a child from a loveless life. While that may eventualy be true, it doesn’t feel that way. Adoption is a business. A money making industry. A child begins to feel manufactured. Also, just the fact that its so competitive takes the way the feeling of helping a child. If there are so many people wanting to adopt, really how many in need can there be? Ok,I know there are many in need, don’t get me wrong… but if you want a baby… esp of the same nationality… good luck! Add in any desire to have a child born of a mother who is not putting things into her body that she shouldn’t…or a baby without a disorder. Now the process sounds a lot like picking out the best cantelope at the grocery store. It sickens me.
    So, can’t have a kid – I’m a failure, worthless, a terrible wife, etc. Have a kid – I’m selfish, unnatural, etc. Or adopt the child I want – I’m prejudice, immoral, and not helping anyone (except myslef..again, selfish). Are these really the options?

  • need help

    i have recently been diagnosed with POCS and been tolod that i d be best trying for children sooner rather then later. just wondering what my options are?

  • Janice

    Thank you so much for writing this article, im in the same boat right now with you! Im really trying hard not to stress out about this but how can I not when everyone around me is getting pregnant! I need someone to talk to! Im so depress!

  • elisa

    oh kdubb, my heart goes out to you, to loose a baby after 6 mths, i wish you luck and prayer you become happy one day with a family.

    i found out my sister in law is pregnant again. so depressed, it hurts so much to feel unworthy of having a family. what did i do to be punished this way.

    wish i knew what to do

  • kdubb

    Im in the same situation. I have been married for 5 wonderful years…I had trouble getting pregnant. We were able to save up and see a fertility specialist. I got the best news of my life feb 2 2007. Just to have a miscarriage at 6 months. That was the hardest thing for me. Now we have been trying since with no success… Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Hopefully one day we will all get pregnant..

  • lisa

    day by day we can get through, all we can do is hope. i am still waiting and trying to figure out a life without kids maybe, i never taught at 28 this would be my life, i have been trying for 3 years, i am diagnosed PCOS. i feel punished at times, i try to be happy for my friends with new babies who fell pregnant without even wanting to. i try not to cry, or be consumed with resentment and anger (all the time)

    i want to be a happy. with my wonderful husband. without kids ???? i will still hope and prayer

    my prayes to all you wonderful strong women suffering too. may we become happy again, and be the wonderful mothers we strive to be. either to our own babies, or nephews or nieces or god-children

    prayer for strength

  • Pippa

    So do I …my husband is so good to me…..such a nice person and he would be a wonderful dad….but…

  • Pippa

    I’m 24 and been married fro three years now….my husband and I started planning pregnancy from this year and he’s 5 yrs elder to me. To my surprise, even after trying since june…I haven’t gotten pregnant yet…..Its september now and am so depressed and frustrated…..each month my periods get postponed we cross our fingers…but nothing happens…..God help me….I want to be a mother so badly…

  • jen

    hey there im 28 me and my husband have been ttc for 4 years and haven’t been successful yet im still on a waiting list to see a specialist anyways i feel you i really do everybody aound me are having babies most of them didnt even plan it and it makes me sick to my stomach because i want it soooo bad and they dont even have to try i try not to think that way cause its an aweful though but i cant help it i try and be happy for people but on the inside i scream …..i just hope that one day soon i will be able to experience this i wish you all the luck in the world….

  • susan

    If you have tried several methods and treatments that do not work, I definitely recommend ” Pregnancy Miracle ” to you.This book is a must read for any woman trying to get pregnant. I was devastated and so was my husband after being told by my fertility specialist at age 38 that I had no option but to consider adoption or donor eggs (according to my doctor I was out of eggs and gave me 4% chance of getting pregnant and a 2% chance of carrying a baby to full term). After much research and dozens of hours reading infertility related articles and posts online, I have found this book! I never believed in anything alternative to western medicine and thought all the other stuff like Chinese medicine was a hoax. But I was soon glad to be wrong as I followed its step by step guidelines. After one month of trying I became pregnant and had a beautiful healthy boy. Nine months after that I did everything in the book again and after 2 months of trying I got pregnant again and gave birth to another perfect little boy. I would recommend anyone with an open mind to read this book. It just might be the answer to your prayers.
    It is worth a try!
    please visit

  • evr

    i really hopples, sadness and etc cant speak about my feeling, all my friends hav childs but iam not, doctor speak im normall , but why i not pregnant until now?…, my husband want get childs and me too…help plz what can i do ?….

  • evr

    iam 31 years old , i was married 2 years ago, but until now , i dont have baby, i go to the doctor but never change my condition, i really want hav baby, but how to get it

  • mel

    i was diagnose with PCOS when i was 25 and been trying for a baby since, i been through all the tests but am still waiting to be put through to the fertility dept. as my periods are inconsistant. sometine non stop for 2 mths and sometimes nothing for 6 mth which is why my doctor wont refer me until its “settled”

    it is so difficult i have cried more than i can admit, everyone else has a baby boom in my family and friends soooo difficult being happy for them.

    i feel punished for some great wrong, where life seems empty.

    my husband is such an amazing person whom i feel i am dissapointing.

  • mel

    i am in a similar boat. i feel dreadful i cant have a baby. i feel incomplete and unfulfilled. i love my husband and i know he’ll be a great dad. i feel i have robbed him a complete life.

  • Elisha

    There are a LOT of people in this world, but it is not nearly over populated, that is a theory not a fact. I believe that adoption is a beautiful way to build a family yes.

    Being in a similar boat as Kate… I know God called me to be a wife and a mother. Being a mother is more than just having a child. It is a personality, a calling. Most women can have babies, but that doesnt make them a mother. It has been my hearts cry to have just one of my own. To experience the journey, even if only once. I am here to love people, and take care of them. I have been “like a mom” to many, and I will continue to do that. And prayerfully one day, will most likely adopt as well. I agree, that most men probably don’t understand that deep yearning in the deepest parts of our hearts to love someone in this way. Loving other peoples someone’s you usually have to give them back, I greatly desire someone who is literally a part of me. The amazing fact that a little baby started, grew and continues to grow. It really is amazing. And beautiful. Luckily, there is a lot of understanding out here Kate. Even if men may not, many of us women have or are there and do sympathize with you.

  • Hi me and my partner have been trying for a baby for nearly 4 years now I’m 24 years old and already have 2 children, but had complications with my 2nd child, I was just wondering if this could be the reason why we are having problems this time round? Can sum1 advise me on what I can do about this.

  • Shannon

    Dennis, adoption is more difficult than you must think. You mention “just” adopting as if its like grocery shopping. I would also not expect you to understand the desire some women have in their core to grow a child in their own womb, give birth to their genetic offspring, and nurse an infant at her breast. So therefore, instead of finding your comment appauling, I will simply find it irrelevant and ignorant. This desire is no less natural and no more selfish than a man actually wanting to have sex for pleasure.

  • shannon

    Well I’m the same as every women in hea…I’m 33 I’ve been trying for years…the last time I got pregnate it was 10yrs ago and I lost the baby….so I thought to my self God knows what he’s doing and I didn’t question it…..so I tryed so many times within the yrs and still nothing I’ve been seeing this new doctor and I’m praying it works? But I’m starting to feel I’m no longer ovulating….I go into phases now where I miss a period for 2months and then I get it for 2months? Its been wackie? I’ve been praying and keeping my faith up about it…and yes I do get so depressed …..idk ….well I will keep people up dated and I would love to hea more storys to see how us women are not alone in this…..we are strong we all will have a baby ……;)

  • hi everyone
    I wanted to share my story with you.We are very fortunate to have one very happy healthy boy who is now 3 1/2 years old.
    Thanks to “ Pregnancy Miracle ”? infertilitycurecenter?,it teaches me how to get pregnant quickly and naturally Within 2 Months.
    You can goole

  • jenn

    i know exactly how it feel…every little bit that you spoke is happening to me even my best friends pregnacy this also the only difference is i don’t have insurance so i can’t even get the test needed to find out whats going on.

  • Simona

    I got my period yesterday -I kept some hope despite of the fact that the pregnancy test was negative I week ago- so sad… I managed to breath again and recovered. Then I opened my e-mails today and two friends had pregnancy news. It hurts.

  • fred

    just let go of it – and adopt – you’ll make a child so happy – and you’ll be happy too

  • H

    hi everyone, ive been married for a year now, my husband and i have been trying for a baby for a 5 months now but still no baby. i know my situation is know where close to kate’s but i dont know what to do?

  • Ky

    No matter what anyone says…until they have been through this they will never completely understand how or why you feel the way you do. All those people who talk about how over populated the world is and say you should adopt aren’t even worth the time it took me to write this…I pray thay you and I both receive the blessings we so desperately dream of and get to one day hold our beautiful children. To those who have children and complain about them, talk about how inconvenient they can be etc don’t take them for granted!

  • Simona

    Hi everyone!
    It was very important for me to find these blog. I started trying getting pregnant in 2008 and I made after 3 months trying but I unfortunately had an involuntary abortion. Then I got really sad and frustrated, and decided stop trying for 6 months. So I started again in July last year, I am still getting negative results in the pregnancy tests. I understand I have being traveling and separated from my husband sometime during my fertile periods, so being honest with myself I have probable tried all together 10 times. I still get very frustrated because I work with children and I love them, I am the kind of woman that always wanted to be a mum. I understand life changes, I understand it means giving up freedom, but still my desire is stronger, and I am willing to do all that. I am 33 and my husband is 32, I know I have chances. I appreciate so much to be able to read you all, it helps to keep positive. I wish the best to everyone.

  • paula

    hey there
    i was one of those feel you and i know. i think it’s probably the hardest thing i have ever experienced my husband and i tried for seven years.those were the hardest seven years of my life and they aged me a lot. but thank God after alot of praying and ivf i finally have twins 3.5 years boy and girl so they were definitely worth the struggle but it didn’t make the pain or the struggle any easier susan you hang in there girl if you miscarried there is a good chance you will conceive again just don’t give up on God!!!!!!

  • mercy

    One thing i can tell you is we don’t make babies ourselves, God gives them to us. Don’t lose heart, if He said it will come, it shall come. I for one am in a shuttering relationship. I haven’t conceived a baby with my fiance but unfortunately some else says they fell pregnant from him. At first i was humiliated but later i got to understand that if my time and chance is coming to have a baby with him i will. For now just leave it to God. I’ll pray for you



  • Angela

    I am the same situation my fiance and I have been trying for about a year its so frustrating I really thought it would happen straight away for me within a few months I never thought I would be one of those people that it would take a alot longer to get pregnant. Kate I too am feeling bitter but I try to stay positive and think it is going to happen one day my thoughts are with you I hope you do get pregnant soon fingers crossed for all those trying to get pregnant


    I got pregnant accidentally when i was 15 n my son is the best blessing in the world. i have always wanted more children. my fiance has no children & we have been tryin to get pregnant for 5yrs now. im lost and confused n dont know what to do because no matter what we do its not happening. I have been in the depreesed stage for over 3 years now n it has gotten to the point that i dont even want to have intercourse because i feel its pointless. i wish i could shake this feeling but i know in time God will see me thru this trial i hope

  • Beth H

    First of all, I congratulate you for putting yourself out there, even for criticisim. It is not easy. Believe me.

    I can relate to every single thing you are going through. I am 29 & my husband & I have been trying for close to 3 years now. It is a heart breaking process. Sometimes just walking past the baby isle in Walmart makes me tear up! The worst thing?? I am a preschool teacher working w/3-5 year olds & sometimes I just want to cry b/c I experience kids @ work then go home to my dog….

    I know the Lord has a plan. I hold on to this with everything I have. That does not mean that it is easy.

    Thanks for voicing your feelings… it is nice to know that I am not alone.

  • katie

    My fiance has a son from before me and he lives with his mother and my fiance isn’t allowed to see him. We have been together three years now and the whole time have never used any type of birth control and one day he told me I would make him extremely happy if I got pregnant and we have been trying ever since and nothing…I’m getting mad because everyone around me is getting pregnant and I’m not. It makes me mad to see people who shouldn’t have kids are having kids and those who should aren’t…so you’re not alone

  • Kristy

    I understand how you feel about all the baby showers and things. My cousin’s girlfriend is having a kid. She’s like 18 and he’s like 20. They are kids having kids and I feel like an older person still trying. Everybody in the family looks at you with pity. It doesn’t get easier. Every month theres a new person having a kid and you have to hear about it. That’s why I stopped going on facebook to talk to my friends because I would come across someone having a baby and I’d hate them for it, even though it’s not their fault. You just can’t help it. But the worst is when someone says, “it’s not your time.” Okay, it’s the high school girl and her boyfriend’s time. Both of whom don’t have a job or steady income. It’s their time but not yours. A 28 year old woman and a 36 year old man with a nice home and both have jobs and all the love in the world. Yeah, that makes no sense. If I hear that from one more person, I just might scream. I had a friend who tried for 3 years. She ended up having a baby just recently so it can happen so I’m not giving up and you shouldn’t either. No matter how bad it gets. 🙂

  • Anonymous

    Hello… I feel like crying after reading all these comments. I’ve been trying to conceive for 11 months now and I know that it’s not a long time compared to some of you. But I know that in one month everything is gonna change. I hve a drs appt next month and I’m so worried. Last time I checked everything was perfect. my husbands checkup was good too. I don’t understand why it’s taking so long. I know I shouldn’t question this and i shouldn’t get stressed but I can’t help it. The only thing that keeps me going is what my mom once told me- ” don’t get mad at anything that god chooses for you even if it’s bad, because it could be for a good cause”. Both my sisters got pregnant within 3 months and it seems like there are more baby showers than ever. It seems as if everbody is getting pregnant, and I’m happy for everyone that does, it’s just frustrating to be in the background thinking when is it going to be my turn. It seems like everybody looks at me and says godwilling you get pregnant, or they will give me that look that says they feel bad for me. My inlaws want a grandkid. My husband and I both want a child. It doesntmatter girl it boy as long as it healthy. I vent to my family but they always tell me I have a career, a husband, and good health. They tell me to enjoy my life while I can because everything changes when you have a kid. What if I want that change?? I obviously act like I don’t care if I get preggers or not but deep down it hurts… It hurts to celebrate someone elses pregnancy when it’s taking me so long. As evil as that sounds it’s the truth. These are my feelings. Judge me the way you want but if you’re in my position you feel the same way.
    I wish you all nothing but good luck! Stay strong and remember eerything happens or doesn’t for a reason

  • Kristina

    I wrote a little earlier. It’s now been 1 year and 4 months and still no positive results. Both healthy and normal weight and regular periods but no baby. My doctor doesn’t believe in taking a fertility drug more than 3 months so I took Femara 3 months. Had 1 positive test during one, miscarried extremely early. As in, didn’t miss my period. And now I’m not taking anything. He doesn’t seem like he wants to do the thing where the take the scope and go up and look at everything. He just wants to send me straight to a specialist. I’m scared of how much that will cost. I asked him if we could try Clomid instead. He told me to take 2 months off and come back and we’d try 3 cycles of Clomid. Very discouraged. 🙁

  • Mary

    I am in the same situation. Married for seven years. But we started too late. My husband has two children from previous relationships, so to have children with me was not a priority for him. And now I am 37 and have been trying to get pregnant for two years, sressed and resenting my husband because at heart I know he doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t have an idea how it feels not be able to have your own children.

  • Katie

    Thank you…….
    3 years 2 months and 10 day’s, still no further forward. I was moved by your blog as I now know that i really am not alone with these feelings etc.
    Good Luck

  • Rachu

    Such a strange!!!
    U wrote all what I suffering…I got married in May ‘2007 and we trying for baby more than 1 year. Me and my husband passing from the all the related tests and According to doctors our all tests are not okay but excellent.
    But unfortunately still we are trying & trying & trying

    So keep faith in god…god is gr8 planner …god think something nice for us

  • vliranzo

    god help us all

  • vliranzo

    i know how that feel cause my husband and i trying to have a family……i did get pergnant the first time but i lost it……..then we try other time and nothing it about two years and no baby……i get sad when i see my friends geting pergnant before me ever if their not trying like me….i really what to be a mother someday

  • Kat

    You are not alone, in this. Every woman, man or even couple reading this, is living this.
    Thank you for sharing so much.

  • Nette Zarriz

    hi there Kate. I do feel you. I’m 27 and hubby and I have been married for 5 yrs now. I was diagnosed with PCOS and have been ttc for the 4 yrs of that 5 yrs. Now, I’m on medication and I am really crazy about having babies…I have been crazy enough thinking that I was pregnant, when I miss a period and would go online join pregnancy sites and having those signs and symptoms and then after a week or two would take a pregnancy test, even a blood test and wpuld come up negative….This time I’m taking control of my body and really would take this seriously now…I do hope that this medication and all that costs too much..would make me a mom someday next year…It’s really very expensive to have the treatments and all that follicle monitoring…I have more to come..I’m on my first try…babydust!!!

  • elly

    Nancy, a family friend had the same problem as you but she got pregnant- i was just telling my husband the story last night…

    the family friend was told she was infertile because she never had periods (not enough estrogen i think). accepting they’d never have kids, her and her husband bought a small house. they couldn’t believe it when she fell pregnant. in the end they had 3 beautiful kids and had to add more rooms onto their house to accommodate their happy family.

    my husband and i are also having trouble conceiving and it’s painful to go through. we may conciser adoption but unfortunately it’s a very difficult and expensive process. i think it’s a travesty the government makes it so complicated with so much red tape.

  • logan lee

    look if u want a baby thats good im 17 and have 5 babies it dnt matter wat people think bout u wantin a baby

  • Nargis

    Hello everyone,

    It is so sad to read so many people’s comment. I have to duaghters. The first one I got pregnant within the first month but the second one we tried for almost 8 mons. I went to see my PC doctor and she said so many people can’t get pregnant becouse they don’t have enought of vitamins…. She give me the B12 shot. I got the shot for two mons and the third month I was pregnant. Eat you Vegs….. Keep you body very warm. Don’t drink cold water…(both, wife and husband). We have something back in our country, (Olba) which keep your body very warm, even if you just eat 11 seeds of it.(you can find it from any Afghani/or irani store, ir if anyone interseted I can mail it). Before having sex make sure to give your husband a hot glass of milk, tea….anything warm. good luck everyone….

  • JASMINE NEGRON 7/30/10


  • JASMINE NEGRON 7/30/10


  • JASMINE NEGRON 7/30/10




  • maleyraelyn

    I raelyn can feel what u are goin threw.I am 31 years old and i want a baby more than anything in this world.I had surgey in May 2010 and the doctor cleaned me out.And told me that i have endometriosis.He said he removed it.And told me i can still have kids.So i had a period on time in june then july rolls around and i have no period.So i think I am pregant but i take 4 pregancy tests and they came back negative.So i go see my doctor and he feels around and where i had that cyst it feels like it has came back.So he gave me medicne to start my period.And told me that i am not goin to be able to have kids.I have been cryin four 2 hours and still upset.I was hopen to have a child.My mom died in oct.2008 and my grandma did to.So i was hopen i could have somthing to replace them.But guess its not.I want to give up in life.

  • Horrible trying to get pregnant again after a miscarriage, I know. For the first time I fell pregnant I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, we started to try again as soon as I had time, but it was six months before I fell pregnant again. Not long at all, and looking back, I wish I'd spent so much time worrying … but every month it seemed a year, and I remember just hearing the way you describe now, so afraid that I would never be able to become pregnant again. And I felt so low I did once, not only because I was not pregnant, but also seemed to remind me of bleeding when bleeding failed. Give honestly do not think the pain never completely go away, but over time you learn how to live with it and accepting it and not overwhelm the whole of your life more.

  • chitraprakash

    dear sir,
    i am not getting pregnant since i got married before 2 years back i am not getting pregnant please tell me when i want to get fucking with my husband please tel me my last period cycle date is 04/06/2010

  • Nancy

    Hey to all us people who want to get pregnant so badly, maybe we should come up with a new way to go about it..
    Seeing as everyone who hates kids and never wanted kids has kids, then maybe we should think the same way!

  • Nancy

    Hey, I totally understand!
    I bet you there’s no other person out there like me.. – It’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to have babies.. – I’ve never got my period.
    Well, not really anyway.. When I was 13 – 17 years old, the Dr. gave me estrogen and provera pills. That gave me my ‘artificial period.’ I stopped taking them when I was 17 years old. I never thought anything of it.. It wasn’t a big deal at the time.. I had no boyfriend, I didn’t want to get married at the time.. So I considered at a joy not to have my period. But from the ages of 18 – 28, I had about 5 natural periods. I’m now 31. I went to the Dr. 2 years ago, before I got married. My Dr. could not give a care in the world. He told me it’s impossible to have kids because I don’t have enough estrogen in my body and because my ovaries are too small.
    I find it so weird how God gave me this desire for children at such a young age. I dreamed of being a mom. But nope, I can’t have kids. I feel like an ant that was squished. And then, you get these stupid people who take their ‘money makers’ for granted. They hate kids, but they have like 12.. And like you said.. your inlaws.. It’s so frustrating!! I feel your pain!! I want to die a lot.. My sisters rub it in my face when they are pregnant. It makes me so mad! They hated kids, never wanted any. But of course, they are so fertile.. It ticks me off.. I feel so mad. I feel like I’m a handicap. It was hard telling people because a lot of people (like my siblings) don’t have a care in the world.
    But I feel your heartbreak. I’ve been there, done it.
    But hey, good luck, I wish you all the best!
    Take care, and thanks so much for sharing!!

  • nikki

    hello everyone. it’s nice to get a chance finally to speak out about this since telling certain people makes no sense because they would not understand.

    My DH and I have been ttc for the past year with no result. My DH already has a daughter from a previous relationship and from ever since i could remember i’ve wanted to have a baby. We have been together for 10 years but married for 2 years now. I found that i have PCOS last year after my Ob/Gyn ran some blood test but he did not go into detail of what this condition was really about. All he said was to lose weight and look for the egg-white mucus to know when to do it. Well I joined a gym and have been going ever since but still nothing. I’ve cried and asked God why and i’m still ashamed and afraid to tell my family.We got married in 2008 and ever since i get all the comments and advice on how soon I should get pregnant and what i’m waiting for etc. I try not to think about it but unfortunately it’s not as easy. My DH is very supportive but at times i feel so ashamed and sometimes unworthy to be his wife.I just could not come to grips with the possibility i could not conceive.

    Anyway after doing what the doctor said i decided to go to a herbalist he gave me Red Raspberry herb and a tincture to help clean my lymphatic system. I did a lot of research on the internet and i even bought some e-books which gave some helpful hints. i used the herbs from day 1 of my cycle along with the tincture and for about 2 months i have been using EPO, a vitamin B-complex and a folic acid.Everything does not work for everyone but glad to say i ovulated this month for the first time in almost two years. i still did not want to conceive this month because i want my ovaries to be free from the cysts first however i BD the day after i ovulated so there is a possibility i could be PG.I do not want to get my hopes up too high so i’m praying that whatever the results i’m going to be happy because i Ovulated!!!

    There is much more to my story but i cant’ just go on and on..I really hope that thing work out for you and by the way i am 27yrs old. Always dreamed i would have my first child at this age. Goes to show i’m not in control!!!

  • christine

    how old do u have to be to get a fertility drug?

  • Ginger

    My boyfriend and I have been trying for 2 years now and no luck. I can’t believe i spent most of my life trying not to get pregnant and now I want to get pregnant and it is so hard to happen 🙁 myy boyfriend acts as if it does not bother him but I know it kills him just as much as it kills me

  • april watkins

    As I was reading your story I thought I was reading about my own life. Currently on Clomid but nothing. I am so frustrated.

  • Beatrice M.

    I know how it is frustrating every month whem you belive that it worked that time around and you get another negative test result. The worse part is having everybody asking when are you guys having a baby? and you feel so ashamed and don’t want to tell anyone that you are having problems. But what hurts more is feel jealous when someone gets pregnant, like my sister who has a two year old and just had twins.
    It make us feel so insignificant.It is not about being selfish but just wanting to be normal.
    God bless us all and relive our pain.

  • Thaze

    Hii, i am 29 and trying to conceive since the past 1 yr without any luck what so ever. I was so anxious to conceive that in the 2nd month of my marriage, my hubby and i had gone to the gynae for fertility examination and turns outs everything is rosy and picture-perfect. Unfortunately for us things are not easy. I am depressed at this thought. I am currently on fertility treatment, although after one month of treatment, my pregnancy test was negative. i would not understand y these things happen to me and only me. all other colleagues at work have beautiful kids. to top it all, families wondering the reason why I am not gettin pregnant. I somehow feel, God is angry with me and not blessing me.

  • Ava

    I’ve been trying to have a kid for over a year now. I get so angry with every month that goes by. Today I feel like I’m going to explode. I want to scream. My husband is always away. I see him 12-24 hours every 2-3 days (he trains soldiers). He wants to deploy again (he feels that it is his righteous duty) on top of everything. I want to conceive before he goes back over seas… Still no luck.
    I pray constantly. I kind of feel alone.

  • M C M

    kate already has a 2 yr old daughter. just google Kate C Harding and read abt her method dont know why she has not been her to update these women. Have Faith.

  • Lady C

    And I’m like you Sally, I just want ONE!

  • Lady C

    I am 27 years old and I too am having difficulties getting pregnant. I have been trying for the last 5 years and to no avail. When I talk to my close friends and family they always say “girl you can have kids, it’s just not your time.” Well I don’t mean to sound unfaithful, but I am doing everything you are suppose to do with my man to conceive a baby.:)I have been in a manogomous relationship for the last five years and my guy has a baby from a previous marriage so I feel like its me with the issue. I really wish I had the courage to go to the doctor and find out what’s wrong…but I’m more discouraged because of all the stories I hear about doctors not finding this to be an none important medical matter. I also hear so many stories about doctors saying there is nothing they can do about the situation. I just wanted to share this story with all of you because I see I’m not alons.I do feel many days like if I can’t get pregnant why am I a women and why do I have periods!!!! I also worry that me being raped when I was younger might be the reason for my delay. Anyway, I am a praying woman and I know God can make anything possible.

  • Sally

    Oh I forgot to mention. Two weeks after our miscarriage I found out my sister in law is pregnant with her 3rd child. I just want ONE!

  • Sally

    Hi. I am a 37 years old women and my partner and I are desperately trying to conceive with no success. We had a miscarriage 6 months ago at the 9 week mark which devistated us and cannot not manage to fall pregnant since. My periods these last 6 months have been a little irregular. Each month Im hopeful and then incredibly disappointed when it doesnt happen. I understand the anger and feelings of utter despair. Feel like my body has completley let me down.

  • swedeE

    I guess some of the people on here don’t understand how bad you want a baby of your own, to have life inside you. There is nothing wrong with adopting. But there is nothing like wanting something that is a piece of you. I understand you, I understand exactly. you are not alone. Almost Everybody on here understands you.

  • mandee

    Well its been eight years i know i cant have kids but every month i try and become extremely depressed when my period comes i feel less of a women that i cANT give my husband a son he says thats ok but i see how he plays with his neice and nephews and since im almost 28 now people always ask when are you having kids and i have to pretend i dont care and also act like im soooo excited when someone says theyre pregnant every pregnant tummy i see i cant help but stare and wonder about what they feel cause i know i will never experience it its scary to me because i know i will never feel that joy i try not to be but im mad at God i mean why be a women who cant reproduce and theyre women everyday who abuse theyre children and dont want them yet they can get pregnant wth it just seems so screwed up

  • June

    Me and my partner have been together for two years, we have been trying to have a baby for nearly a year now and everytime my period arrives it breaks my heart a little bit more making me feeling useless and thinking there was no point me being put on the earth, alot of my friends and family have had a least one child or more. I have lost weight, started eating alot healthier and changed many of my routines. What am I doing wrong?

  • shirley

    hi..me and my husband got married in nov 2008. We have been trying to get pregnant since then. Now i am still not pregnant but i am not going to give up easily. i want to keep trying with anything and praying harder. anyway, anyone ever tried this suplement: fertilaid.com? i read many positive testimonies. i myself have not tried it but i will try after this but first, i want to try the Noni enzyme. wish me luck!


    HI my name is:Annabella-Alleyne I am 20yrs of age..
    I was 3 went i fough out dat i cant have children i been seein this boy for almost 3yrs and his name is Chalers – divied he always talkin about havin children but it is so had to tell him i cant have children but you know wat i do every night before i go to bed i would look at a star and wish that i can have beautiful children 1èach boy and girl but it burn me on the inside to see some of our beautiful young lady cant have children but please take this from keeep on goin for that dream dont ever give up keep on going for it one day the lord will give and make it better yet just as how you want it so dont give up now that day will come i no it make you very miserable but have fairth within yourslef ……………….
    your friend ANNABELLA-ALLEYNE

  • mamtaa

    my husband travels a lot and its even more difficult for us to get the right days to make love (well if you can call it that when your TTC). I have quit my job and go to where ever he is to just have sex… and im still not preg. Today I start feeling my menstrual cramps again.. and I just cried.. and im glad im venting out bere

  • Lucia

    Love to all of us, girls! Im feeling your pain too… In fact, I staid at home today as I couldnt face the work..

    It got too much on me… I found love of my life about year and half ago. He became my best friend… After 6 years of abusive marriage (Im still just 29), I was grateful every morning for what I finally have… I’ve always been the type of person who wanted to have children – one day… It was actually my partner who propose us to have a baby together just 4 months into our relationship. I took it as a joke, but suddenly, in a space of literally just a moment, something big happened inside me and bringing new life into this world seemed so right. I never forget the day when I decided I am ‘ready’… I dare to say it was one of the happiest days of my life… It just felt so right to have a baby with this man…

    We’ve been so excited first couple of months. My mum, my sister and even grandmother..they all got pregnant ‘from their partner’s toothbrushes’. My sister got pregnant when she was 18 and being only 9 – the way I understand it at that time was, that my sister just ruined her life… And as I was much more outgoing then her, I spent my teenege years up till I was 28 and made my big decision, trying not to have a baby… Never thought once I will want to be a mum (perhaps better one than my own being an alcoholic), it will never be a trouble and all I went through whole my life, it all had a reason…to make me better person, stronger, so one day I can be a great mum…

    And here I am, 18 months later…never even had a chance to have a feeling of being pregnant, not for a week, not even a day… It hurts..every day. Going through the exams watching more and more babies being born around me. It doesnt make me feel bitter, just very very sad… Maybe its not meant to be..maybe not now… I started taking mild antidepresants again yesterday hoping I will feel better, my depression and anxiety will go away and I will again become positive, happy person that I am…

  • tuyeny

    I have been married for three years now and we are still ttc and we are keeping our heads high. There is a say that what is meant for you, God will not give it away. So we believe that one day, God will answer our prayer. We have gone through treatments and nothing seems to have worked.
    God bless all those who are ttc and answer their prayers

  • Reading your thoughts was like looking in a mirror. I am turing 25 in a couple months, and a few months after that will mark the 3 year anniversary of my husband and I trying to conceive, with still no results.
    Everywhere I look I see babies. First it started on Facebook, seeing people I knew in high school getting pregnant, but now it’s close friends. I’m happy for them, but like you said, jealousy and bitterness are not far behind. My friends are afraid to tell me when they get pregnant, knowing how long I’ve been waiting. People, friends or family, say inappropriate things to me, thinking they are helping, when they are only hurting. “It’ll happen some day” ->YOU DON’T KNOW THAT! “Babies cost alot of money” -> That’s debatable. They can, and you also can find ways to help with the financial burden. None of these things make me feel better.
    I’ve asked myself if God has abandoned me, but I don’t think so, not yet. For now I just have to wait, and pray for the best. I mean, I can’t afford to do anything else, so what else is there?

  • Karen

    My name is Karen and I am 21, I meet my fiance when i was 17. Once i turned 19 we tried to have a baby. I thought it would be no problem because before metting him i had a miscarrage with an ex two months into my pregancy. Miscarrages are comman in my family, but so is fertaily, half of my family didn`t plan to get pregnant, just happened. For the last two years now i have been trying to concive with no luck, at first it didn`t bother me, then after my fiance moved in we started having intercourse everyday and nothing, i was starting to worry slightly i tried many tips, natural remedys counting my ovulations days and even taking ovulations test but they don`t even show that i am ovulating.
    My fiance talked about getting his sperm counted a few times but never gets around to it and always has an excuse when i ask him, i talked to his brother about it and found out that he doesn`t want to find out that he has a low count because he will be embaressed and less like a man. I also don`t want to go get checked because i am afraid to face the truth that i may be infertailty and that there is no way for me to have kids.
    My finace has mentioned about being older and trying to adopt but i know we will never have the money for it.

  • nikki

    Hi Kate I just wanted to know have you had any luck yet. I have been married 4 years and we have been trying that long and still no luck. I took one of those at home fertilty test and it was positive and then I took the at home ovulation test and they were all negetive. I don’t have med insurance so I can’t go to the doctors. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I was pregnant in 2007 but I miscarried and haven’t had any luck since. If you have any advice for me I would love to hear it. Thanks

  • shit

    im so pist of i cant get pregnent iv bin trying naw for one week every night i go find

  • Yady

    I always wanted to go to one but was always scared, if you think you have a tipped uterus then you should try my method put the pillow under ur hips so the pillow can help lift ur uterus and allow the sperm to go through it. make sure when you notice a clear white mucus coming out it means that your ovulating. have sex every chance you get sperm lives up to 3 days. I’m very irregular and i didn’t get my period for at least 6 months and look at me now 2 months pregnant. good luck and god bless

  • Yady

    well to my surprise im 2 months pregnant after a 5 yr journey but i was involved in a car accident and due to that i got prescribed muscle relaxers which i really believe helped me ovulate and help me get pregnant i got pregnant around mothers day and we just couldn’t believe it. but i’ve been watching “I didn’t know i was pregnant” and i noticed the girls on the show got pregnant when on birth control and antibiotics because they both interact and help with the conceiving process. oooh by the way i used my old technique of putting a pillow under my hip to tip my uterus while having intercourse. i hope my suggestion help and dont lose hoopeeee it will happen be patient and try to avoid stress. good luck and god bless


    It is nothing wrong with obsessing about getting pregnant. I’ve have been trying for six months and I can understand what you’re going through. Everyone have things in life that they want and I feel a baby is one of those things that completes many women. I know for me my marriage is great but I still feel incomplete without a baby.

  • Teresa

    To clarify, I adopted my daughter when she was born. I did not terminate my pregnancy.


  • Teresa

    Hi Kate,

    I thought I would share my experience here as you have been so kind to share yours. My story is very similair to many, but with a little twist and I am sure that people will have their opinions on my decisions.

    I am now 37 years old, happily married and have like most been trying to get pregnant for over a year. Currently on clomid and the side effects aren’t bad, but the kicker like all of you is the two weeks every month where you dare to hope.

    Unlike many of you I have had a child. I was 18 years old when I got pregnant and coming from a loving family with both parents, even though I wanted to keep the baby, rightly or wrongly, I thought she deserved the same opportunities I had, which where to grow up in a loving family with 2 parents who could give her what at 18 I felt I could not (don’t get me wrong…I wanted to keep her). I always though that I could do it with good consiounce, because one day I would be blessed with children of my own that I could provide for, now that day has come and although my life is very full, my heart breaks just a little wondering if this is my penalty ( and I know it’s not ). I had cancer at 29 years old and have had radiotherapy and tamoxifan (induces menopause) and my husband had testicular cancer last year at 34 years of age.

    I guess we always knew we may face challenges having children and we will live a very happy life if we can’t, but I hope and I pray and I am truly happy for the 6 friends of mine that have all gotten pregnant and had babies since we started trying and the baby showers I have organised and attended.

    I hope we are blessed, no I know we are blessed and I am under no ilussion to how much a child changes your freedom, relationship and life, but we are women and a women’s heart is made with so much love that it is incredibly special to pour that love out and not only creat another person, but create a life where that other person can achieve his or hers wildest dreams.

    Good luck to you all


  • comcool

    (…) Gary & Tony have a baby…

  • California

    Has anyone had a uterus massage from a sobadora?

  • I have always been worried about this, thanks so much, the comments are very helpful too.

  • angie

    Also want to let everyone know my husband was actually excited when I presented the idea to him of fostering or adopting a child with a disability. I would LOVE to put my medical experience as a nurse to use to love and nurture ANY child. Several yrs. ago I mentioned it to my hubby and he wasn’t ready for that as he has a physical disability of his own & found it too emotionally challenging. There is hope after all for those whose spouse is not ready to move on with treatment (in vitro, AI, adoption…)Please pray for us as we look into the possibility of adopting a special needs child. For those who feel they cannot handle that, it might help you to know that my hubby has a rare neuromuscular disease called CMT or “Charcots” disease. He wears braces to walk and has difficulty climbing stairs… Had his parents given up on him he may have ended up in a wheelchair. He has a college degree, owns his own business, and leads a more physically active life than anyone I know. He’s never received one penny of government assistance. His parents taught him to make the most of his life and live to the best of his ability. Every individual is different and there are no guarantees in life, but If you feel that a child with physical special needs is too challenging, maybe this can give you hope if that is all that is available to you. Maybe we are just the parents that child needs to prosper and lead a life full of love…something I’ve been thinking about lately. Thank you all for your prayers & support and for allowing me to vent openly and honestly without fear of judgement!

  • angie

    Does anyone know of a sperm bank who does not require a doctor to sign an authorization form? My husband and I could do an Artificial insemination procedure blindfolded and I don’t want to pay for yet another md visit and have more tests…

  • andrea

    ok let me see im a 15 year old thats realy curious about this.. how come some girls cant get pregnat is there something wrong with them or what? please answer my question cause i have heard that if u try to get pregat but you cant then you can die. is that true

  • Andrea

    I hope you become a mom soon. I just got married in May and we have been trying since March. To some, it’s not that long, but it’s frustrating. We are just 40 and I hope that’s not too old. I’ve wanted a baby for a long time, but just hadn’t found the right person. I hope it works out for both of us..)

  • April

    My heart aches for all of you. Whether it is because you can not conceive, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage. I am 27 y/o and unable to get pregnant either. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with so far in my life. All I’ve ever wanted was a family. I was in a 6 year long engagement which ended badly. He never wanted kids, yet now he has a beautiful girl with the girl he cheated on me with. How is that fair? Well none of us were ever given gurantees but it is hard to stay positive and strong when everytime you get your hopes up, you get knocked back down. I try not to compare myself to others because we all lead different lives, however this site has opened my eyes and heart to so many people who feel the same as I do. I do believe everything happens for a reason but that does not entitle me to a baby (unfortunatly). I have been with my soon to be hubby for almost 5 years now and he is my everything. We have never used protection or birth control and I even got one of those ovulating kits. According to the kit, I do ovulate. Unfortunatly he has an erectile dysfunction which is embarassing to talk about. He is embarassed to talk to the doctors about it and I’m embarassed to talk to the doctor about it. Especially because we are not married yet. I know it shouldn’t matter but there are a lot of people who judge. After marriage we plan to go to specialist and I know it will be hard for both of us because we are afraid to know the answer. If they even have answer for us. From all the above posts I see the frustration and am a little sad about it. It sounds like a lot of you have been through a lot, spent a lot, and have nothing to show for it.It is hard to get past the whole baby thing and I have my moments but he is always there for me. If I can’t have a baby, it won’t be the end of the world but I know for the rest of my exhistance in this world I will always struggle with depression. It is hard for others in different situations to understand all the heartache, jealousy and turmoil infertility brings. But I beg of all of you to not give up on life itself. I say that because I had also considered suicide once. It’s not worth it. I’m not going to let satan win.We may not get to choose our paths in life but should make the most of it. I say that because I have had several jealous moments and nights of crying myself to sleep, begging, even threatening GOD. Well, obviously that didn’t help so it’s time to live. Sometimes I feel like GOD wants me to focus on others, at least for now. Like my best friend. We are so close in age and we can totally relate. Although she can get pregnant, she can not carry the baby. She is working with a fertility specialist but so far, no go. I know the feeling of being excited and jealous when someone announces they are having a baby. You are so happy for them, but sad that you will (or feel like) you will never experience anything like that. I guess the moral of the story is don’t give up and take each day as it comes. Also, it’s ok to cry. Sometimes that’s the only thing that helps get all the anger and frustration out. If you find yourself crying too much, talk to your doctor, priest or friend.

  • Tanya

    Over 12 years of a loving marriage and I knew my husband 6 years prior to that. With each person I see getting pregnant or women 10 years younger than I having 2 or 3 children, it kills me. I look and think, I should have children that age now. I have a hard time leaving the house anymore. I have a good heart and wish everyone the best but its killing me to not know why we were never blessed (doctors say there’s nothing wrong with either of us). Last year, we finally decided to move ahead with adoption (costs of adoption kept us from doing it before now). But, we haven’t had luck with that either. I’m starting to feel too old and worried I’ll be too drained from bitterness to be a proper mother. On top of that, I’ve been out of work for 3 years now, which makes me question my existence at all. I feel like a useless burden to my husband. I can’t stand to see how he looks at me – with such sadness for my (our) entire predicament. . . I love him so much I hate being like this. I try not to be, but he knows me too well. Found out last night an old friend’s wife is pregnant. It really burns me up that the last time we visited them, she was smoking pot. I’ve never touched any type of drug, I don’t drink. I eat well. I exercise. Why then?
    Thanks for sharing all your thoughts. Although I feel for each and everyone of you, it helps a little to know there are others out there that understand.

  • jeniffer

    i belive that everthing will happen in it’s own time just don’t give up and don’t give up on your faith because having a child there is always a way ivf, adapstion etc..

  • Amanda

    My husband and I have been married for almost two years and believe me when I say that I feel your frustration.

    Before we got married I found out that I was pregnant and was so excited to then find out 3 weeks later that I was having an ectopic! I went through one of the most painful surgeries ever and when it was over an overwhelming fear set in because I didn’t think I was going to be able to conceive.

    A year after we had been married I again got pregnant and had my 2nd ectopic pregnancy in which I lost one of my tubes and went through yet again another terrifying surgery.However this time it was more emotionally painful.

    My husband and I are scared and sometimes give up hope! As a women it seems like the only gift you could give your husband is a child. My husband is very supportive and tells me when it happens it “will”. Sometimes you have to believe that if God put such a pressing desire for us to have children, then it will happen but in his timing!!!

  • angie

    I forgot to mention adoption. We tried it once and the mother changed her mind, but thankfully it was after only 4 mos. of pregnancy, so our hearts were hurt less than they would’ve been had we actually seen the baby. However, I completely understood. Yes, she did call us when the baby was almost a year and ask us to babysit for her. I declined. you’ll also be happy to know that the guy with five children came off of welfare for the first time since having them, just in time to adopt their two new little girls…

  • angie

    I am 36 yo and my husband and I have been trying for almost 9 yrs. I have never been pregnant. We tried 2 failed IVF cycles r/t my husband has extremely low sperm count. He had a procedure done where they cut into the testicles to obtain the sperm they needed. The doctor said there’s no reason it shouldn’t work. The dr with sadness in his eyes came to us following the procedure to tell us that there were no sperm at all. He said this had never happened before. He had the typical uncomfortable stance of anyone who already has children and probably wanted to get out of the room but he didn’t. He sat down with tears in his eyes and stared at the floor, not saying a single word. That was the best thing anyone could’ve done. When I laugh, laugh with me and when I cry, cry with me. We were heartbroken…so we decided to try artificial insemination using donor sperm for 3 attempts and they all failed. It angers me to hear women complain about the nausea during pregnancy. I took so many pills and shots until I was nauseaus every day for nearly two years of treatments with nothing to show for it. To make matters worse, we allowed a couple to live with us because the hospitals here are really good for maternity, so while we were being told that we can no longer do IVF due to lack of sperm, our friends who live with us had a healthy baby girl, their second child. She drank beer throughout her entire pregnancy to make matters worse. I felt guilty for avoiding her when she arrived home from the hospital so I approached her to hug her sincerely and congragulate her and she said to me, “I knew none of those procedures would work”. I faked a smile and walked back into my home which I had opened to them in their time of need and cried.
    To make matters worse, the guy that molested me as a child now has five children (including twins) and two adopted children and they say they owe it all to God. I say God had nothing to do with it, no more than he had anything to do with the women who conceive and later go crazy and kill their own children. We live in a world where weeds grow more readily than flowers. Satan exists and I believe he is responsible for bad things. When my husband and I were trying to get pregnant for 4 yrs, my sister in law got pregnant after only a year and told us to go on a vacation and just relax and give up…that’s what they did. I am a nurse. I cannot imagine telling a cancer pt. to go on vacation and just relax and it will all go away. These are medical issues. Just because they have not been identified or because one is told nothing is wrong with them, does not mean there is not a physiological reason for infertility. Drs. were able to identify some of our issues but my heart goes out to those who don’t know why they can’t conceive. I don’t know why the 3 AI didn’t work for us. My programmed response to those who say that relaxing and vacations and not thinking about it worked for them is this: “Yes, that works well for those with mental and psychological problems. I wish we had mental problems rather than physical, we could actually correct that the same way you did.” It’s a bit mean I know but I’m a bit angry and I do not want to hear another person say that they have the answers. Back surgery works for some people but not for others…the same with infertility. People perceive it as a normal part of life and take it for granted. In the midst of my pain following my husband’s surgery, I called a friend and she said, “Some things are just too big for us to have enough faith for.” Faith??? Did the 16 yo girl down the street get pregnant accidently because she had faith? I think not. If God were picking and choosing who he would allow to get pregnant, why people who abuse their children? I believe satan causes sickness and disease, including reproductive problems and I only hope that God will extend His mercy upon me and my husband and all of those who are hurting to heal our bodies so they respond the way He designed them.

  • Harry

    Hi Kate, I believe it all comes from the god ,and there is a reason but you don’t know it, might be harmful for your body or your baby , lots of people adopt babies you mention in early post you require lots of money to adopt a baby, In some countries that is over populated people can not feed there babies and you can talk to some one like that.

  • Rebecca

    Hi everyone.

    So after six rounds of clomid I still havent had any results. I have PCOS but my ovaries are responding to the medication. My husband did a sperm test and the results were perfect. So why??? I am tired of everything…but still hopeful.

    We are going to try Intrauterine Insemination for the first time on the 25th of this month. I hope this works because I am so depressed about the entire situation. I really am trying my best to have faith..but everyday it gets harder.

    Has anyone had results with Intrauterine Insemination? Please help…

    Baby dust and best wishes to everyone..

  • Update
  • Nia

    Hi Kate, I’m in a similar situation and really feel for you. As you say some days are good and other really bad. Stick with it and I’m sure you will have a wonderful future. All the best and keep strong

  • Karen

    I’m a 26 year old who is getting married this summer. I’ve always wanted to have children and my fiance finally gave in and we began trying to conceive at the beginning of April 2010. We were one of the lucky ones and magically we got pregnant right away. Unfortunately 2 weeks later I had what I thought was a miscarriage. I went back to the hospital 10 days later with sever abdominal pains, After surgery I was told that I had a very rare abdominal pregnancy (the fetus had attached to the fat in my abdomen) and it had to be removed. I was devasted but happy that they didn’t have to remove my fallopian tubes (they thought it was ectopic when I went into surgery). Needless to say it’s been quite the journey. I’m still recovering from surgery but I’m back to work and feeling a lot better. However, I’m scared. Will this happen again? I want to be a mum more than anything in the world and I’m just so scared that this is going to happen again. There is a 1/10,000 chance of having an abdominal pregnancy and now i’m at a higher risk for both abdominal and ectopic. I just feel like I’ve failed. We’ll try to get pregnant again after the wedding and i will just have to hold my breath and hope for the best.
    Sending baby dust to you all.

  • Nikki T Selfish Me

    When I was younger, I prayed to God that I would never have kids because I basically raised my sisters and we are only 7 years apart. Since then, now that I am all grown up, love kids and want my own; but, unfortunately, I think God answered my prayer. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He has 3 children from a previous relationship. We haven’t used protection since the first year, and absolutely nothing. It drives me insane, I do understand what you are going through. I work for a non-profit, mostly composed of women. Every time I turn around somebody else is pregnant. My little sister, my little brother. Neither of them was old enough, ready, or financially stable, but oops, stuff happens, right? I promised myself that I wasn’t going to anymore baby showers, births, or funerals because I always get depressed when I go to either one of them. I feel guilty because I am jealous, plain and simple. I don’t know what life has in store for me. I’m going to be 28 this year, and I am not getting any younger. I don’t know what to do. It is nice to know that I am not alone. I wish you the best of luck, Kate.

  • Still trying

    I am 28 and have been with my husband for 11 years, we have also been trying to conceive for quite some time now. While it is sad to hear others frustrations it is also a comfort knowing y
    that other people know how you are feeling. I also come from a very fertile family and this trying to conceive thing is unheard of. We have been quiet about our efforts to family so that they are not getting hopes up every month too – but getting the when ate you having a baby quiz gets old, really old! It seems that people all around me are pregnant all the time they are in unstable relationships, unstable homes, with out income, with addictions and it happens got them. While we waited and planned and no luck… It just feels really unfair sometimes. Best of luck to everyone out there trying. I hope we all get to experience what we have been so patiently waiting for.

  • comcool

    Hello again… I wish us all good luck but I can’t be on this web site any longer. It made me feel better after reading first 10-20 posts but after 400 not any more. Misery likes company so I’m out of here. “Yes Attitude” is what I and every one of you need. So stop complaining, don’t give up and move on!

  • July

    Dear DIxie,

    Please don’t lose heart…. I understand and feel your pain and can relate to a lot of what you wrote. Lost both my parents as well in the same way …. but think of the positives in your life …. And for a change try doing something for you. seems like you have spent all your life caring for others … time you did something just for yourself … after all you deserve it.

  • July

    All the best comcool…
    Fingers crossed for you . Thanks everyone for your honesty. It is comforting (in a sad way) to find that you are not alone when you feel bitter and angry at the way life ytreats you some times. I’m 34 years old and have been ttc for the last 3 years. My sister in law hid her pregnancy from me as well fearing I might jinx her in some way I suppose.
    I must admit I don’t blame her since everyone knows how obsessive I am with this one aspect of my life. I can’t focus on work anymore and life in itself seems a little pointless and dull at the prospect of never having one’s own kids.
    I feel slightly guilty as I know my husband loves children and I feel like I am unable to give him and us what we need… he has enver made me feel that way … yet my guil persists.

    We are going in for an IVF early next month and keeping our fingers crossed. Expensive as it is, I have been saving up for it for the last 6 months which means no holidays for us this year.
    I have enough for just 2 attempts after which I feel like I might not end up in a very good state of mind if it doesn’t work.

    Adoption has crossed my mind but I don’t think it is for me. I’m distraught and increasingly slipping into depression over this. Help !

  • comcool

    I’m 32, I miscarried last August and since then can’t get pregnant. My sister-in-law is expecting, the whole family knows but they haven’t told us yet. I know that this month is my time:)

  • vani

    I am also sailing in the same boat and have been trying to have a baby for the past 7 years but in vain. I become very upset and depressed when i hear that someone in my family is pregnant which i cannot digest.
    adoption is not that easy for everybody

  • Beth

    Great blog,ignore the weirdo who said you were selfish-obviously just a sick little troll with too much time on his hands.
    Poster 104 said its not fair that “unmarried women & crackheads”can have babies,well excuse me,Im a single woman who desperately wants a brother or sister for the little boy I already have,just because I cant find a man to love me-does that make it any less right that I want a child?NO!
    Unfortunately I now have blocked fallopian tubes due to PID but plan to have ivf in the near future-I wont stop fighting to grab my dream-something you want so much is worth fighting for till the end of time if necessary.

  • Maria

    I am 26 and been married 4 years and been trying for a baby for 6 years now with NO success. I have severe endrmetriosis and hubby has hardly any sperm. We cant afford private ivf and have been waiting on NHS list for 3 yrs and now been told they wont see us because of my hubbys low sperm becuase it would be pointless! So i guess our only option is either surrorgacy with my eggs and a sperm doner ( hubby will not accept a donor ) or adoption which we are in the middle of trying. I still hope one day a miracle will happen, but to be honest i cant see it.All my mates are preg or have kids and i am the only one. I feel so left out. I cant be happy for them and i cant even see them anymore because evertime i do i come home and cry and cry. So i have shut my self off from them.Also everyone in my family is pressuring us and saying when am i gona have grandkids etc, we really do not need this, do they think we are enjoying this after 6 yrs of heartace! Unless you have been through it , im sorry but you have NO idea! x

  • Teee

    In my situation. I have a 6 year old, & that’s my only child. I met a new man and we been together for almost 3 years now & engaged. Me & him been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half now, & still nothing….he said its nothing wrong with him because his ex-girlfriend got two abortions by him, & it can’t be nothing wrong with me obviously I have a 6 year old….but let’s see…if it happens, it happens…if not, its complicated, because we want a baby together too. I truly understand. Because his younger brother is 22 and is on his 2nd child already and my fiance doesn’t even has one….and he’s the oldest out of all siblings. I totally understand where you are coming from, your not the only one that feel the way you feel.

  • claire

    well am in the same boat, been trying for 4 years and nothing, dr says there is nothing wrong with me or my partner. “Eat healthy get more active” thats all i got, am 26 this year and a hate it when ever anyone gets pregnant am very bitter… good luck to everyone.

  • joylin

    hye der..im 21 year old..n i wish to get pregnant after 24 years but i have PCOS so it fine if i get preganant after 24 years or wil there be any complications???pls help

  • Dj

    its so nice to see im not alone..i am 21 years old and have been with jeremy (my better half) for 6 years. we have been trying for a baby for a year now with no luck. every month theres a negitive test, and every month i get that gift iv been dreading. im not sure what i should do. i dont have insurance at the moment (job doesnt have a good plan and it cost an arm and a leg) so i cant go to the doctors. i too am surrounded by friends asking all the same questions “when are u n jer having one”, “pregnet yet?”…it makes me mad i feel as if im being teased. but it does make me feel a tad better knoing there are more like me out there, and i havent lost hope

  • DIxie

    I have had to face the fact that I am barren and will never carry my own child.

    I have had the experience too many times to mention about, “Why don’t you have children.” I have done everything a person can do to conceive. It’s late now.

    I don’t fit in. It’s hard to make friends. Regular people find friends at schools with other parents, they go to games, become involved in activities with other people with children. I am out of the picture. I have had, what I thought were good friends say, ” We don’t have anything in common now that I have the baby or children.” It hurts, I would never say it to them, but oddly enough, I understand.

    Some people assume it’s a selfish, “by choice decision.” The don’t hesitate to slam the hammer down with comments that cut deep, when that is certainly not the case.

    So, I spend my time now, wondering what the future holds. The marriage is a bit difficult without the children. I wake up alone. Spend much of my time alone. I live away from family, husband in the military, no roots, so you can see, it’s lonely. I have done the volunteering, I have done the school, I have worked. I have taken care of my Father in Law, my husband’s Aunt, and now his Mother, is in Nursing. I have lost my Father. I helped my Mother through breast cancer, when she and Dad moved in for seven months.
    I was told later, I did nothing for her.

    I have received the emails from friends that they accidently sent to me, talking behind our back about infertility. I have had the comments from friends and then the “slap over their mouths,” when they realize what they just said and how hurtful it was and insensitive. I don’t think they really care.

    Some guy says, “Why don’t you adopt.?” Why doesn’t he try it? Anyone that has done it, knows what it involves. How about Surrogacy? That’s last on my list and about my only choice now. The person could disappear like a friend’s Surrogate did, along with baby, money, and their heart.
    It’s risky.

    So, what’s it like to be childless? Even animals procreate. It feels like you should be the first one to jump ship, if something goes wrong, what do you have to live for? Why should I be well and a Mother ill? I should die.

    I am oddball. I am different. I feel the pain of empty arms and the sound of nothingness. No little footsteps, no child’s laughter, no hugs, or “Mommie, I love you.” No “needing” by anyone.

    Imagine. Condemn us, say go do this or that, it’s not the worse thing that could happen to you, it’s easy to do something else. You don’t know what you are talking about until it happens to you.

  • Jess

    I am so thankful I found this article, My husband and I have been married for just over two years and have been trying to concieve for approx 8 months, it’s seems like everyone and their dog is getting pregnant, all of these little 15 yr old bimbos are getting pregnant and having abortions because oops they don’t want them. My cousins are getting pregnant my husbands cousins are getting pregnant and worse than the guilt I feel about not being able to conceive I feel guilty for being bitter and jealous that they can. I am defintely having a poor me moment but I just don’t understand why these girls who are not fit to take care of themselves can get pregnant no problem but couples who are in loving caring relationships have such a hard time. My husband refuses to even consider adoption and I have thought since i was a litte girl that my sole purpose on earth is to be a mother. I do feel desperate, I do feel depressed and to be quite honest i’m pissed off, i’m so sick of hearing that “Oh, we decided to try and got pregnant the first time” good for you, what do you want a medal? Sorry for rambling but it honestly feels so good to vent. Good luck to you all and please pray for me too!!

  • Andrea

    I will say this sometimes miracles happen, I didn’t have this problem but some of the people I knew did. My first example is an older friend of mine she is in her 50’s. She had been trying for years to concieve and they told her she couldn’t that their was something wrong. She was severly overweight and had given up on having children she went to have some time of gastric bypass or lap band whatever it was called at that time done, and as they were doing the surgery they saw her uterus was irregular. When she woke up they told her that she might be pregnant and that they were doing blood work. Once the results came back they told her she was for sure and that she should have an obortion because they medicine they used to put her to sleep would leave the baby mentally handicaped. She told the doctors I was told I could never become pregnant so if God put me a baby I don’t care what’s wrong with it I am still raising it hell or high water. Her daughter is now in her 20s married and has a family of her own and in no way handicapped. Then another example is my friends, they are sisters, one is adopted and one is biological but extremely close in age. Once again the mother was told she would never have children, her and her husband had been trying for years and no result. She went through the adoption process, brought her bundle of joy and boom right after that found out she was pregnant. My friends are now close to their 30s and the adopted one is more of a daughter to their mom than the biological one lol, not to say the biological one doesn’t love her mom. So some things happen for a reason and if the doctors can’t find anything wrong with either of you then don’t give up hope, and it could just be the stress of trying.

  • fire

    I had overcome the fear by not thinking it about. I watched the Bruce Lee story and I’m fighting back with my mind. I noticed the more I think about it, the more it happenned to me. And that was in the past. When I moved out from my old house to my new house, I haven’t had any experience since then and I was able to sleep well. I’m used to be afraid to go to sleep or to fall asleep. It’s all in the mind. You have to fight that fear!!! I lived in my old house for 12 years and the only time I don’t have sleep paralyses is when I’m sleeping with my kids or my husband, but if I’m alone, it never leaves me alone.

  • faye c

    hi, i read a few of these. the top one about the over population!!! omg!!! every woman deserves the chance to be a mother. me and my ex have 4 children, and now my new partner and i are trying with out any luck, so i know both sides of this. i wish you all the best

  • Desperately Seeking Motherhood


    I totally understand what every women is feeling. I am 25 years old and have been married for four years. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 2 years now and nothing has happened yet. There were times when I was so excited because I thought, finally I am about to have my baby but no it was just my body doing its own thing. I have shed so many tears over negative pregnancy test that I am all cried out. When I see women with babies, I try to be happy for them because they have achieved what I want so bad. When I see women or hear about women that do not really care about having kids but yet they are able to pop them out with no problem, it angers me because why do they deserve to have this gift but someone like me have yet to experience this gift, and want to so bad. I have yet to go to the doctor because I do not want to hear bad news which I already feel in my heart, that I would never be able to give my husband a child. I am glad to know that their are other women out there that are in the same boat as me. I feel embarrassed sometimes and less of a woman because I can not give my husband a child he wants. It hurts every time I think about it and it hurts even more when people ask when I am going to have a baby. It seems everyone around me has that joy of being a mother but I am sitting here and will continue to sit here and wonder when it will be my turn or if I will ever have a turn. Thanks for sharing your story Kate.

  • i have been in relationship for 6 yrs..we jus statring having sex 2 yrs and 3months ago..evrytime no baby..i feel low.. everyone i wrk wit is pregnant or even has children…my boyfriend tells me every mont..I HOPE UR PERIODS DOESNT COME…im only 19 and im strarting to think i only want kids because i think i cant have any =…

  • Zara

    aww dats sad and i wish you da best in the future. you are frustrated in 3 years, my aunty hasn’t been able to become preganant in the past 20 years..if you have faith then god will bless you with kids..

  • Gloria

    I know and understand how painful it is to be married and after a year no child.I am also going through the same thing presently.I got married 2008 and still to have a child.But i want to encourage pple out there who want to be pregnant and become a mother to have faith in God and be expectant.

  • k8e

    I have been with my partner for nearly 10 years, we conceived 7 years ago but i had a miscarriage and to be fair i was only 23 (im now 29, he’s 36) and cash was tight then so i took it as a sign that it wasnt meant to be. We have never used contraception and i have not conceieved since, my partner and i both think the problem lies with him but he has never been to the doctors to check the sperm count as i think he doesnt want to hear that he is unable to father a baby. We have since have a Massive blow by him finding lots and lots of cysts in one of his testis (they have gotten more and worse over the last 3 years and has gone to get it checked out only now) the doctor has said they need to remove his left testicle, and they are also testing for cancer, so now i’m devistated that not only has he a low count but with only one testicle the chances of us having a baby have dramatically reduced. The doctor has said they can freeze some sperm but he needs to get it checked to see how active they are 1st, which he is still quite hesitant and worried. We have thought about IVF but this means using some other guy’s ‘donar’ sperm to help me conceive, and i dont think this is right as it will not be genetically ‘ours’. I hate it when people assume we can have kids and I’m always getting questioned about why i’m not a mum yet and its driving me mad telling them ‘oh i’m not ready yet’ i feel like yelling ‘coz we cant have them. OK!!’ i feel extremely bitter towards people i know who have had a baby (some clearly dont deserve one, my cousin for instance the only reason she knows who the dad is is because the baby has chinese eyes!!) i really dont know what to do anymore and i’m becoming a real miserable scrooge.

  • hope

    having read this blog all i can say is i pray it works out for you soon, my story is similiar to yours.

    we started trying as soon my husband and i got married, first year passed and i felt awful, all of his siblings and our friends were having children and everyone kept saying it was our turn next.

    we tried temp, natural fertility anything we could do at home, ovulation tracking, doing it every second day.

    by year 2 we felt like it was not going to happen, then due to tragedy in both our families having a baby was dropped to one side to deal with grief and loss.

    for a month or so after the baby topic never come up and we had not bothered with all that stuff.

    when i missed a period i asumed i had forgotten to mark it down on the calender but a trip to the doc confirmed i am pregnant.

    i know this baby is a miracle my husband is trying to wrap me in cotton wool now, our baby is due is a short time.

    i have onw friend who is 3 years trying and says my story helps her believe it can happen, thanks for being so brave and sharing your story.

  • Yvonne

    we have been ttc for the past 4 yrs. We are both 31, married 3 yrs., dated 3 yrs. We have tried 2 failed IVF cycles, where one caused me to hyperstimulate & produce 28 eggs and hospitalization for a month. I have just found out in the past month that 2 sis in law & 1 bff are expecting. We have just gone through our 1st IUI cycle on 100mg Clomid- with a failed result- I went through the stages of grief and with the loving and caring husband that I hv, I know I can continue to be strong. We did have one other couple that was going through the same situation as us, but on the 1st try of IVF- have a baby!
    Now, I really feel all alone and My husband & I are well-educated, successful, do right byothers people!
    I pray to God everyday & I thank him for the strength to carry on!
    Do not lose faith and hold on-there is always someone, somewhere working on your behalf!
    Baby Dust to all!

  • Rasin

    i am also a woman approaching my 30s in the same problem where i couldn’t conceive for
    4 long years and failed. i feel guilty and depressed ,hopeless when i see people my age are moving on with their life and having babies . i would love to have a big family of own one day being an only child i always have missed it … my husband is also waiting every month for me to fall pregnant but disappointed. we have been together for 10 yrs and married for 5 i love him a lots he supports me greatly and loves kids .. i just pray to God everyday to bless us with babies and not to test us anymore in this trying time .

  • Merrissa Waye

    Hi,readin this has left me speachless as i am going thro the same problem i have been with my partner for 7yrs i have always had protected sex before him and now we have been tryin for 4/5 years and i am feeling the same way, i dislike pregnant woman beacuse i cant fall pregnant my friends are all having babies execpt me, i always get the when are you having a baby speech, i am happy for my friends but i also get angry at and then i question myself and ask myself why i am here on this earth i feel like i am just a waste of space as i feel i am here for nothing, it just depresses me my friends and family all say it will happen in due time but i get sick of hearing that as i aint getting any younger, if only my prays would be answered i would be the happiest i have ever been but for now dont think i can.

  • Angela.

    I have a 6 years old son and had a miscarriage dec. 08, since then I am ttc with no success. Been trough hysteroscopy, laparoscopy, ultrasounds, nothing wrong. Had done treatment with clomid, progesterone and no success. What makes me feel terrible is the fact that I did get pregnant easy but miscarried and could never conceive again. Maybe the surgeries messed with my body or maybe it is not the “right” time. I just wish I could stop thinking about it.

  • Rebecca

    Hi everyone.

    First of all, i would like to say thank u for this site, it brings great comfort to me. I am 27 years old and have been trying to conceive for almost two years. I have a six year old son with my husband and funny enough, we weren’t even trying to get pregnant when I conceived him so u could imagine the surprise, nervousness and anxiety for us then. Two years after he was born, we decided we did not want to have anymore kids until some time in the future due to the fact that we both wanted to be financially secure when it happens so that we would be able to cater for all their needs and they could have a better life than we did.

    Sounds perfect right? Not so. I think its so ironic that people like us who plan and try to have provisions in place before we decide to get pregant again, can’t while people who could barely affort to maintain one, has many. The funny thing is, that now we both have secure jobs and can afford to have another and it appears to be so difficult. I was so worried to go to the doctor for fear of “bad news”. Eventually I found out I have PCOS. I had to do alot of tests, some of which were painful and embarrassing, but I always tell myself its worth it if it means my son can have a little brother or sister and doesn’t have to grow up alone. Every so often he would ask why god hasn’t put a baby in my tummy yet and it really is heartbreaking because my sisters and friends all seem to be conceiving without any effort at all.

    Every month I go through the bitter disappointment of negative pregnancy tests and each month my husband says don’t worry it will happen when the time is right. I feel so sad that sometimes all I could do is sit and cry. I tried metformin and clomid for six months and still. Did all the possible tests and still. Went through feeling sick, tired, unable to eat, nauseated and still. I feel so inadequate sometimes, since everyone always tells us its time for another.

    It has truly been a relief to write this as I feel my sisters can’t relate to my problem since they are like baby making machines. I can finally let out a long, shaky breath and continue to pray and hope for the best of luck to all the women who are trying to conceive.

    Good luck and baby dust to u all!

  • Lynn

    Thanks for sharing your article. I am too having difficulty having children. I get very depressed whenever i had a negative pregnancy test and really envy & jealous of other women who can get pregnant so easily. I went through a number of tests and each time, i got very emotional. Though i am still not giving hope yet and the path is getting more and more diffcult for me as i have no one to share. All my friends have no problem having children, therefore, they won’t understand what i have went through, emotionally and physically. I really wish one day, i can come back to this blog and tell you, that miracle does happen…For now, i am not pregnant!

  • andrea

    this truelt brought tears to my eyes its so true im still going through the bitter feelings ive been trying for two years fell pregnant but tragicaly lost it and that brought my world down. its been a year since i lost and no luck so far i try not to think about it but the day your due you cant help but think of anything else lets just hope we get what we all dream of. xx

  • eli

    I feel frustruated that i took care of myself for so long buying condoms myself to make sure i did not bring a baby that would not have everything that i wanted to give. I am ready and have read and tried everything. I did the ovulation kits and i felt like i did everything right according to what i read on the ovulation instructions. but nothing and its hard not to feel guilty. i dont feel old i am 27 but still i guess i feel like i should of stoped trying to protect myself from the most beautiful creation God has made. I will not give up, i just hope its not to late.

  • ann

    definetely you will be having baby. donn’t get tensed. Am a late 30s , trying to get pregnant for the last 12 yrs. both of us don’t have any problems. very healthy. but we both are tensed. the reason is that after my marriage my mother-in-law told that i can’t have baby. i was stunned. can you imagine of such comment passed on a virgin on the first week of marriage. years pass by, i pray but am still tensed of the comment. so don’t get panic. try to avoid bad people. may god bless you. please pray for us too

  • SIrene

    God wants the best for us, sometimes it is hard to believe. Trust and have faith that God will bless you with a baby. Note: It is when it is his time, not yours and not a doctors. 🙂

  • SIrene

    I can relate. I find comfort in God. I have ran through all those emotions. But I know that God will answer my prayers to have a baby someday.

  • kerry

    hiya my name is kerry i have been trying to get prangent for about a year and 6 months nathing as happend i have been to the doters about this lots of time but it feels like they dont even wanna help me at all all i want is a baby

  • Dear Kate,

    I am 36 years old now. I have a 8 year-old girl. I have been trying for 3 years to conceive another child but failed. Yesterday my friend told me that she is going to hospital today to do IVF. Wow.. she is really brave, I thought to myself. So, I searched on the net to find out what exactly the process of IVF, the risk factor, reason for not able to conceive…. I was lead to this website instead.

    Kate, I respect your honesty and courage to face the truth. I had not been talking about this with anybody before because it was not easy to face the “truth”.

    The time I hated most was when people asked, “when are you going to have 2nd baby?” I used to say yes we are trying. After many trial, I just smiled and that was it. I didn’t want to talk about my non-fertility issue. I felt really depressed and I didn’t enjoy other’s empathy.

    To make things worst, I don’t believe in any IVF thing too. I always believe that bearing a child is a gift of God. It is against the nature to make one.

    Until today, I still believe strongly in this. There must be a reason why God gives us a child, why God delay the gift… just that we may yet to find out the reason.

    But one thing I know for sure is I will continue to lead my life fruitfully, happily and be contented with what I have.

    By understanding this, I am not upset anymore. At least if my period comes, I know that menopause is not here yet!

    I am always happy to see people around me getting pregnant and the only good thing I will say is no matter how tough the pregnancy is, remember it is a gift of God. You will be thankful to Him for the pain and misery.

    May God blessed all who have children, who have no children or who have not enough chilren like me.

  • Brett

    @ Dennis – What is wrong with you? You know that one thing that you want more than anything in the world? I hope someone tells you that you’re a stupid and horrible person for wanting it. You are obviously a person that is incapable of any empathy for other human beings regardless of the topic. I hope you take your own advice and never reproduce, because its soulless people like you who beget a disturbing level of apathy for others’ suffering.

  • 1c?PCOS

    Kelly – I have PCOS as well…. it’s far too complex to explain here. Can I suggest that you check out Wikipedia or the PCOS society (good website).

    Kate – thank you for your honesty about infertily and the pain that is associated with it. As much as others try to understand (and I do appreicate their efforts and consideration) unless you are actually walking in the shoes I don’t think that it’s the same. It’s not even about the baby… and I think that that’s were a lot of the misconceptions lie…. it’s about the child. I could do without the diapers and midnight feedings and all the tedious tasks…. I desperately want to teach somebody about things that I’ve learned, to relish in their sucesses, to have a converstation with my growing up too fast child…. that’s what I’m afraid of missing out on. It’s not a baby…. it’s the person that I miss even though I don’t know them.

    The bitterness is an awful feeling… so disabling. Bothe of my younger sisters are pregnant now….. I break down in tears after ever visit with them. I can’t even maintain a relationship because I don’t feel worthwhile enough for someone… why would they want to be with me when the type of guy that I like is one who enjoys family and wants kids…. when I can’t give him that? It’s a really delicate and difficult mindset to tip toe around.

    Again – thank you for your honesty!

  • kelly

    so what is polycystic ovarian syndrome? Because apprantley I have that…..

  • Doris

    Hi kate,
    Thank you for your website. It has really encouraged me a lot.In similar situation.Happilly married for 19years, gone through all medications,surgeries, two IVF’s still no progress.We have learnt to encourage ourselves because nobody would encourage you.Keep on trusting, do not give up hope, give thanks to God and believe that one day God would make it happen.Do not harm yourself, if there is life , there is hope. I turned forty-three years last february and my hubby would be forty-five this June.Dont worry, be happy.Keep praying.

  • kristen A

    i am a junior in high school n i am dating a guy n me n him want to have a baby when we get older of course …. but idk i just have this feeling that i will not be able 2 become pregnant idk why i feel this way i really really want a baby too. i have been dreaming of having a baby since i was a baby n it is the same for me because my sister has had 2 babies in the last 2 years!!!!

  • brokenhearted

    Hello, i’ve been trying to get pregnant for about a year now and nothing i was told i had one chemical pregnancy which makes things worse my OBGYN is useless all she says is good luck so i made the decision to get a new doctor im to the point where i am tired of trying i dont want to get my hopes up anymore becasue each month i get my period its coming for sure it never fells i just never knew it would be so hard to get pregnant and have a baby i am so bitter nothing helps anymore not encouraing words i mean nothing i try not to think about it but i keep having these dreams about me being pregnant and giving birth and having children and they seem so vivid until i wake up WHY ME i hate i have to go through this

  • Tara

    Hi Kat

    I write as a 37-year-old woman who has been hoping to conceive since my early 30s. Yes, I left it late, but I was not financially secure enough to feel I could do it until then. (I had been a struggling actress in my early-to-mid twenties, and by my early 30s, I had been in full-time employment for 6 years, and was in a steady management job.)

    Anyway, my husband and I have been through IUI 3 times and are now considering IVF, but it’s got to the stage where it’s affecting our marriage, so I don’t know where we will end up. I will just have to take the ride and see. I am not ‘obsessed’ with being a mother either. It’s just something I thought I could be, and now I am not sure if that’s the case. If my husband and I don’t conceive, we’ll weigh up all sorts of things, but if he wants to be a dad that much and doesn’t want to adopt, then I guess we have to look at our relationship again. So even without being ‘obsessed’ with being a mother, unexplained infertility has had a major effect on our lives.

    I would say to people like Dennis that (certainly in the UK), applications for adoption are extremely trying, with a high level of intrusion into one’s life and no guarantee that you will be ‘approved’ at the end of it (often to do with earnings, health, weight, sex life, or age) so it’s not that easy to solve the ills of an over-populated world through adoption. Unless you go abroad and buy so-called orphans, of course…that casts a lot of money and brings its own ambiguities and accusations of ‘selfishness’.
    Equally, we could all say ‘don’t bring kids into this this world where they will be doomed to die horribly from the effects of war or climate change’ – but we are not seers. Who’s to say one of us won’t give birth to the next Einstein, or a Nobel Peace Prize winner – someone who ends up saving lives through negotiating peace, or through inventing scientific solutions? We cannot simply stop procreating because we think we know best for future generations. We can only attend to what we can do to help those causes in other areas of our own lives.

    So, Kate. Good luck. I am sure you wish me luck too. But life won’t end if we don’t become parents, so it’s not the end of the world.

    TP, London, UK

  • Danielle

    Ladies, I have visted this site frequently. I was really depressed for b/c we were trying for long and were not getting pregnaunt..it got to the point where it really changed my personality. I finally learned to let go and let fate happen. I was going to have my hisband and I tested after I got my period this month. This Monday I got a positive result. I really feel like the less you stress about the situation the more it will work in your favor. I really wish all of you the best and my prayers are with you! Din’t give up if its something you want just dont make it rule your life or take away your joy about other things!



  • Erin Connell

    I didn’t read all the articles written, but I can relate to many things said. My husband and I have been married for six yrs. and are deemed not fertile by the drs. Only my husband was tested due to me not wanting to pay the amount of money to have myself tested. Anyhow… we decided to let God decide the fate of our family and are now in the process of foster to adopt. My in laws adopted this way and it didn’t cost them as much as the other adoption methods. In fact they were paid up until the time she was adopted. It is risky in the even they are allowed to go back to their parents. My husband and I are in the process to do this and are very excited about the possibilities. We also do not have 25,000 to spend on adoption. We feel that God builds families no matter whether they are biological or adopted and HE has the perfect family picked out for us. I even feel more special that God has chosen us to take care of other people’s kids, ones that need a second chance and someone to love them.

  • K. P.

    my husband and me have known each other since i was 9 and i am now 20 years old and we have been married for going on 3 years but have been together for going on 4 years and have been trying to conceive for a while and we are now going through fertility treatments and i am extreamly nervious and my husband is afraid i’ll hate him if its his fault but i dont and i dont think its selfish at all to want to have a kid and my husband and me have considered adoption but do u know the costs and years it can take to be able to adopt. its more then having a kids naturally. i completely feel you on wanting to have kids.

  • another poorwoman

    Hi i’ve been married since 17 yrs.now i am 41 yrs old.though no probs in my ovulation,my husband has got low counts and also not much crazy on having babies.he just takes life as it goes.not much bothered in love or lust… i dont want to worry our kith and kin and waiting silently with prayers and wishes for some miracle to happen,a soul to call me mom

  • poorwoman

    Hi i have been married for nearly 8 yrs now. We had been trying to get pregnant untill my husband had his sperm analize. And the result came AZOOZPERMIA. I am in so much despair. Since i dont want people including my family to know about my husband inability to have babies. I am dying inside. Since we cannot afford to have any kind of treatment. I also went through polysystic ovary syndrome biopsy.
    I just wish there was a Clinic that offers free infertility treatment to infertile couple.
    I am so much frustrated and despair. Sometime i feel like killing my self but to coward to do that. I am 33, i come from asian backgroung. People call me names for not having baby. People always come up to me tell me to visit temples, priest, or take fastning on gods name. There is so much inside me that i can tell no one. Some time i want to scream so loud.

  • amber

    i am 27 and have been with my husband who is 26 for nine yrs, married 1 1/2 of them. we never tried not to have kids we just thought it will happen when its supposed to. i was eager to try around the age of 21 but he wasn’t yet. we still did nothing to stop it from happening. around three yrs ago i started to wonder in the back of my mind if something was wrong because not a thing would happen, my period came like clockwork each month. did not question it too much as i did not have good ins and was too embarrased to tell anyone, i did bring it up w/one gyn but he said i was young and not to worry about it,in hindsight that makes me furious because he blew me off and at that moment i could have started on my quest to get answers. i am ashamed that i waited sooo long to figure out what is going on. now years later i feel like i am running out of time and i feel like i have anxiety attacks all of the time. we found a good young obgyn last yr and he has been doing everything in his pwr to help us out , i have had the clomid, htcz shots , and just went though my second iui that in the last couple of days was unsuccessful. it is the worst feeling. having to hear about relative and coworkers getting preg in the time that we have been paying for fertility treatment is anguishing. i counted seven girls around me getting preg just within the time we started trying hard to get preg. today i almost started balling and getting extremely upset at work after a coworker had to give every detail of her new baby’s day… i feel like i am losing my mind. i just want this to end and wonder when this hellish tunnel will end

  • Mr. Not Here

    Karen, thanks for the vote of solidarity. I have my moments where I really do despair about not being a father – usually as evening falls or early in the morning – when I am most vulnerable, I guess. I go through a cycle where I get really bummed about perceived missed opportunities or bad choices I’ve made. I then wonder how I can live the rest of my life with this gigantic regret. I have to whip out the list I wrote above and force my self to focus on something else in order to break the gloom. It becomes a matter of will, and the more I exercise my mind to see the positive, the easier it becomes. I don’t ever expect the feeling to go away entirely, but I have decided to not let it own me.

    It’s very easy to see parenthood as the single most important event in one’s life – and it certainly is momentous, that’s for sure. It’s difficult not to focus on this one issue to the exclusion of all else when you realize time is not on your side. I wish things were different for me, for you and for everyone who is dealing with any reproductive issue and I’m glad what I wrote has brought you some comfort. In your particular case, I would think there is still time for things to work in your favor and hopefully you’ll have what you want. The fact it might not come easily or when you might want it, will probably ensure you truly value the gift you might receive. Remember to laugh and smile and enjoy the good and I’ll do the same.

  • Karen

    I really liked what you said “Mr. Not Here”. and its true that there is “more” to life than having a kid. I’m 26 years old…and yes…many may say…you’re too young to feel old….but I’m married, have a successful job, home, and my health……..I just think there is more to life than just having kids…..some people are lucky in having kids…..but others are lucky for all the other things they have in their life……I’ve come to terms as well……if it happens it happens….but if it doesn’t…..then there are other things to look forward to!!

  • Mr. Not Here

    My wife is 42. She got pregnant and miscarried two years ago and we’ve had no luck since. We’ve seen fertility doctors and they didn’t give us any hope outside of a donor egg and IVF. She’s been taking traditional Chinese medicine for many months now. Nothing has happened. She doesn’t want to adopt and doesn’t want to do IVF, which is probably just as well because we can’t afford either. Which means, in reality, we probably can’t afford a kid in the first place (a sobering reality that has been inescapable to me). It’s been a hard couple of years. I never particularly wanted a kid before all this drama started happening, but after the miscarriage, I regretted being less-than-excited about what I thought was a foregone conclusion on me becoming a parent. Since, then, I’ve struggled with all kinds of guilt: Guilt for waiting so long to marry my wife and for dragging my feet on wanting to have a kid. I mostly feel bad for my wife who would be a great mother and who is a wonderful person, as, I’m sure, are all of the women writing on this thread. Anyway, I think it’s pretty much case closed for us in the baby-making department, but my wife has a positive attitude and has decided to keep trying no matter what. I decided a few months ago that I’ll support her the best way I can, but inside I’ve accepted it’s just not to be and I try not to dwell on it too much. I still do think about it from time to time and that’s why I’m here writing this.

    I’m not Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura, but I think I have a few insights after going through this journey. One thing I’ve come to terms with is that there is more to life than having a kid. Talk is cheap in this regard, but it really is true. Having a kid will not solve any problem other than the dilemma of procreation. Parenthood has to be a wonder, no doubt, but it is not the totality of any one person’s existence, or at least it shouldn’t be. If this door is closed, go find the one that is open and try to make things good for yourself and others. If that doesn’t help, then consider that life isn’t fair and never has been. Some people win big with kids while others get snake eyes. That’s just how it goes. Get some perspective on your situation. If all that is wrong is that you can’t have a kid, then really, you’re pretty well off. If you are able to read this, then realize a huge chunk of Earth’s population would likely trade places with you in heartbeat because they live in a oppressive rat-hole with no hope of changing their fate. What has helped me tremendously is to have a sense of gratitude for what I do have. I am thankful I have my wonderful wife, a job, a home and my health. It is easy to feel sorry for myself, for my wife and anyone who can’t have a kid. I certainly sympathize with those struggling the same way we are, but I also think at some point you just accept it and move on. Hope is a great thing, but it’s important not to get delusional – and there is often a fine line between the two.

    Good luck to all those trying – but don’t forget to enjoy life despite your hardship. There is always a silver lining to the dark cloud.

  • Gloria

    Hi I am from India.I got married while I was 29. I decided to wait a year before i get pregnant as it was an arranged marriage and i wanted to know my partner better. Its been two months since i am trying to get pregnant and its driving me crazy. I am scared. I dont want to put my body through those multiple tests and fertility treatments. Infact I am pretty ok if i dont conceive. But i love my husband and he wants children. I have decided to go in for a divorce incase I dont get pregnant as i dont want him to have an unsatisfactory life. I know i am getting too worked up too early but I have seen what happens to people who try and get bitter for not having babies. Right now i am just shit scared.

  • Kate

    hey everybody,

    thanks for writing these comments and the story in the first place. it’s helped tremendously to see I’m not alone in this.
    all around me my friends have babies, their second ones even. they decide to have children and whoop, it works. My husband and I have been trying for over a year now. I pretty much know every little thing about this and cannot understand why it won’t work. I have always known i wanted kids … even when I was 15. i was just waiting for the right guy to come along. two years ago, I my husband and knew he was it. since we are both not the youngest, we started pretty soon to have a child. and whatever we do, it has not worked. almost every week though I hear from my friends, that they are pregnant. and usually burst out crying. and I’m honestly happy for them.
    I feel so helpless. the more I want it to happen, the more it eludes me. and what makes matters worse: I’m 35 and feel like I’m running out of time.
    I hope and wish for all of you out there that would like to have a child, to be blessed with one …

    thanks for sharing …

  • Didi

    I am 34 years old and childless. I met my husband in college and we dated for 14 years before getting married last year. I tried to do everything to please my parents and keep my family’s honor – so I never tried to get pregnant until we got married. Now, 8 months later, we are still unable to conceive. I know my cycle like the back of my hand. I experience very strong mittelschmerz so I can tell exactly when my egg is released. I am very in tune with my cervical positioning and mucus. My periods are regular but I do take levothyroxine for my hypothyroidism. Months ago, I decided that it was time to see a fertility specialist. Since then, I’ve been subjected to all kinds of tests – various blood tests, hysterosalpingogram, pelvic ultrasound, and I’ve had to urinate in a bucket for a full 24 hours – everything is normal. My job is very stressful and last month, I decided to start taking my lunch breaks and not stress – because my job doesn’t dictate my life. I’ve been eating fruit and more vegetables but nothing seems to help. I play indoor soccer but I’ve decided to take some time off to see if my body needs a break.

    I know the feeling of wanting a child so badly – I can barely explain it. I am a very logical person and I know that we are overpopulated and there are so many children that already need good homes. I obsessed over adopting for a long time only to find out how difficult it really is to adopt. Foreign countries have different requirements and there are more 18/19 year old children in the U.S. looking for adoption than babies. After researching for months, I discussed it with my husband who is dead set against adopting. He says that he “doesn’t want someone else’s problems.” I am heartbroken – because if I am infertile, he has basically dictated that I will never be a mother. Everyone tells me that I need to be a mother. And relatives are starting to ask questions. People around me are having babies and, just as many of you, I smile and hide my envy and frustration. Again, I tried to honor my family and I waited until I married before trying to get pregnant. And now, part of me wants to blame them for making me wait until 34. I know it’s my fault – I know it’s my husband’s fault for waiting this long before deciding to get married.

    I have not lost faith in God. I feel like everything happens for a reason – this is my struggle and there is a reason for it. I am trying to keep positive – it’s only been 8 months and some of you have been trying for years. Good luck to you all. God Bless.

  • RyAnne Sterling

    I would say that I know what your going through but I dont. I do have one child. I got pregnant in high school, and I am happily married to the same guy that got me pregnant. Well our little one was one we decided to have another so they weren’t so far apart, we’re finacially stable so why not? It has been nearly a year and still nothing. It’s so disappointing and I feel horrible. Im anxious all the time and I feel cheated. Sometimes I think maybe I dont deserve another one because of how my first was concieved. I have gone to the doctor and he says everything is fine, that nothing is wrong, which makes it that much worse, because everything is so unexplained.

  • ira863

    im sorry you guys feel so depressed i was just wondering is it you guys or have your husbands got checked 2 i had a friend who was married to her husband since 18 they tried 2 get pregnant but nothing then they got divorced 13 years later he never wanted to get checked she remarried and walla 6 months later she was pregnant so make sure its not him 2 dont give up hope good luck and god bless you

  • Tamara

    What U mean Dont? Dont What?

  • if you are under 20, you shouldn’t be having kids. please rethink it

  • Tamara

    All I want is to here the word Mommy!

    You mothers that had the same problems pleas message me and get me some pointers or tips on what i can do!

  • Tamara

    My Boy friend is almost 19 im almost 20 we have been together for 4 years and engaged for 3 years i really dont care if you all think were to young were ready ready as well ever be

    i thought i would add that i wrote the one @ the top as well!

  • Tamara

    im 19 my b/f is 18 i want to have a child so bad that it kills me inside it kills me even more knoing that we have been trying for about 2or 3 years now and well nothing i hate seeing all these young girls out here preg. and me sitting back holding the tears inside because its not me, right now im trying so hard to hold them in because i want this more then anything my boyfriend says he does to but when i talk to him about it i dont think that it bothers him that much i really think that it me that why i cant get preg. but i boyfriend had sergey on his testacols in i think 2006 or 2007 he had to have on removed but people even docters always told me aslong as he had at least one we were fine but somethings not right!!!!!
    i get on the internet trying to find a way to get preg. faster or find a way to to figger out what we can do to have a baby but there nothing that had helped us yet! 🙁
    I cant stand going through so much pain anymore i really want to be seen by a docter but i dont want them to look at me like “Why your to young?” what can i do

    Send me somthing to do or work with i really need any help that you ladies with babys can help me with im asking from a mother to want to be mother can u please help me!
    God bleased you mothers out there i want to be bleased aswell!

  • Mandy

    hai friend, don’t i am also going on same problem.

  • mee

    can someone help me here? my wife nd i have been having sex for we got married now 3-4 years and she is not pregnent. can something be wrong with one of us?
    [Personal contact info deleted]

  • thameena (precious)

    Hi Kate,
    I hope by now, God gifts you with one of the most happiest of His blessings, if not- hopefully in the near future.
    I am also 3 years into my marriage-and so far nothing as of yet. But there is always Hope as long as you dont despair.
    I hope God bestows His blessings on all of those longing for their own. and He knows when it is the best time. We may not understand why, but He always does what is best for us.
    My husband’s twin brother (who got married at the same time as us) has a baby girl- and I know it pains my husband to notice that we do not have one yet.
    My aunt was married for 10 years till she got her first child- all Praise to God- she has now been blessed with a boy and a girl. She had adopted my other aunt’s baby for a couple of months- and soon to her amazement and joy, she found out that she had conceived too.
    another friend of mine, married for 7 years- had tried everything she possible knew she could- then gave up on all the medical approaches, and turned her face to God and within a short span- she got pregnant- she now has 2 daughters as well..
    so never fear that it is too late- you are still young, and if you have firm faith in God- believe and trust that He will always do whats best for us!
    do include me in your prayers too 😀
    lov thameena (precious)

  • Idongesit

    A woman can cause in self not to be pregnant, a man can also be a prpblem of making is woman not to be prepnant, but all God made someone pregnant, that means is u need a child or children pray to God first and all thing will be possible, becos with God all thing are possible, pregnant come unexpected, when u do not think of,

  • star

    hi its so comforting reading all these articles with women who share the same agony. i too have been married for 6 years and ahs been trying to get pregnant for 4 years now. its hard i know…harder for me cause besides from all my friends getting pregnant evry month, i am a labor and delivery nurse in a local hospital here in our community. my god! i cry everytime i deliver a new baby..i always wonder teen agers, mom’s who are using drugs, can get pregnant easily and they dont even take care of themselves…and here i am done laparoscopy, lots of clomids and injections..and still no luck…my husband is very supportive but my body clock is ticking…im 38 now and the chances of getting pregnant is way way far far impossible now…i hope all of us women would be granted just even one normal healthy baby…as i’ve always prayed at night to GOD…good luck girls…baby dust to all…

  • jamie

    I know what your going threw i have dried everything to become pregnant the fertility pills dont work .I feel like what i could have wrote my self i say the same things all time time that you wrote about..I just dont understand how good people have such troble ,but all these crack heads haveing kids its just not fair or right but that life for you..I try to be possiive and prey all the time but im just so tired of being disapointed.

    i wish you all the best

  • gloria

    i got married last year in july.i have atctively been ttc but in vain.i have a friend who got married before me and she has also failed.good lucky to everyone it gives me comfort to see that am not alone.pliz send more encouraging words and whatever you are trying on so that i can also try.

  • Nimco

    it happy to me and sometime i Don,t sleep at night.I feel you. Did you any thing, I can do?

  • kemmi

    Hey my name is kemberlee and I’m 20 yrs old I have had sex 15 times and I’m not pregnant yet its so depressing I hate dis

  • gloria

    kindly advise on what one can try in this situation.its kind of frustrating.im scared my hubby might not have the patience bcoz i see the signs.good lucky

  • Lynn

    Hi, I am 25 years old and I have been married for three years. We are actively ttc. I know all to well about the tears I shed every month when I find I am on my period. Its comforting and sad to know that I am not alone in this, that other people are experiencing it as well. I too have gone to the dr, and everything was supposidely fine. Same with my husband everything was good. I had a miscarriage when I was 19 with an ex, so they said concieving shouldnt be a problem. So the bouts with the dr about 2 years ago we tried clomid for a couple cycles and it still didnt work. I have no clue as to why I am not getting pregnant and neither do my doctors. This past month I was 5 days late and when it did come it was 4 days what its normally 7-8. So sometimes it feels like Karma is playing a huge trick, it really feels that way. I can’t wait til I can find out what really is going on with my body and why I cant get prego.

  • Soon-to-be…

    I’m sorry to hear how difficult it is to adopt in Australia. I can’t imagine how frustrating the process must be, and how that must take a tole on so many relationships. I should be more positive that is still a possibility for us. Actually, I did have a conversation with my other half and we both think we want to try finding a sperm donor. Adoption is so expensive, It would take us years to come up with the funds for that.

    But what I think I got from you post was that if you had other options, you would still have got married. Its the idea of knowing you would have no children that would of made you rethink getting married. Right now for me, the hope of finding a sperm donor is keeping me here. Thank you for sharing with me, Cheryl. I appreciate your honesty and I hope everything works out for you.

  • Cheryl

    If i knew before I got married that I might not have child then right now I would say I would not have married him. Hindsight is a great thing…. If I could not have children naturally I would have tried to adopt as I was still young then.
    If I were younger I could adopt however where I live in Australia adoption is very very very hard and strict. The Australia Govt do absolutely nothing to encourage it’s citizens to adopt. I would have adopted a child from overseas if the govt made the process more accessible. Australia has the lowest rate of adoption in the developed world and there were 270 last year including international adoptions. One parent has waited 16 years and by then will be considered too old.

  • what a scary thread. if you are under 30, you shouldn’t be having kids. please rethink it

  • OMG I’m 21 and my husband turns 23 in 1 week. We have been trying to get pregnant for the past 7 months, and that just seems like it can’t happen, I’ve been having hot flashes soo bad that I can’t sleep at night sometimes, but what I don’t understand is that I have regular periods and because of bad finance we are not able to go see a doctor. Can some one plz tell me what is going on hels soo frustrated my husband lost both parents at a very young age and has no family besides me so starting our own means a lot to us. But anyway ladies just remember to keep God first, and all other things will be added onto us. God Bless

  • Glenn Contrarian

    Sanya –

    My wife had two miscarriages before we had a child. The second miscarriage was due to misconduct by the civilian hospital. We could have sued – but we didn’t. It hurt too much. The child was five months along when the miscarriage happened.

    But I’d like to share a different story. We had a nurse named Maria who was working with our medically-fragile Foster children. She couldn’t get pregnant. She and her husband had tried for ten years with no luck. I didn’t know the specifics of it, but I think that what she needed was either in vitro fertilization or some kind of minor surgery that was not offered in America. Either way, she either couldn’t get it here or she couldn’t afford it.

    She flew to Thailand, had the procedure that she needed, and now she’s got a little boy that’s probably five years old. This is called ‘medical tourism’. Mind you, it’s not for everyone. But if you’re comfortable with overseas cultures, it’s a real option.

    My sister-in-law works in the fertilization clinic in the best hospital in the Philippines. They do this kind of thing very often. If you do consider medical tourism, I strongly recommend the Philippines because almost everyone – and ALL of the professionals – are fluent in English. It’s a required course in grade school, and all college instruction is required by law to be taught in English.

    And for the cynics out there who may be reading, no, I’m not advertising or angling for personal benefit. I’m just presenting an option that someone may not have heard before.

  • Sanya

    Hey, I had 2 miscarriages last year and now I am trying to get pregnant.No luck so far. I married my Iong time sweet heart and we are so much in love with each other. I am hypo thyroidic so Im taking pills for that. I’m on progestrone too. I am a strong believer in God so I think if I m not able to have kids then it is his wish. How do we know that every woman he makes his for to have babies? He might have some other noble intentions with our lives. He might consider us special. If I am not meant to be then I am not meant to be whatever happens. My sis has 2 kids and she is pregnant with the 3rd. I don’t have any bad feelings for her ( I pray to god a lot tht I shudnt feel jealous of her) coz she is made for that. She is envious of me coz I have a great career. I hope women who are able to have kids understand the importance of it. Maybe our purpose in life is to give life to other children who is needs great love and attention. Maybe the purpose is to make money and enjoy our life to the fullest. These are the things I tell my heart when I’m really depressed. Most times it works. Let us not get disappointed and believe what happens is best for us. God should know better about us. Good luck to all who are trying including me!

  • Soon-to-be…

    Cheryl, you said “no one tells you when you walk down that aisle that you will never be a mother”.
    What if someone did. What if you knew before hand what you were getting into. How should someone handle that.
    I am going to get married soon, and I am very nervous bc I know we can’t conceive naturally. Our only options are using a sperm donor or adoption.
    But what if you were told before hand, that having a child naturally would not be an option. Would that change anything?

  • Kelly

    I am 32 and my husband and I have been ttc for 10 months now. I am ovulating every month but nothing is happening. I just found out the cost of fertility treatments today and broke down crying. The expense is overwhelming.
    I always thought that it would be easy to get pregnant since it seemed easy for everyone else. This whole experience has been completely frustrating but I have not lost faith. I was searching the internet for someone with a similar story and I was so happy to find this website. I don’t have anyone in my life who has been through this and it is really comforting to hear everyone’s story.
    I have faith that I will get pregnant or adopt a baby of my own. I have decided that I can’t beat myself up over something that I can’t control. I love my husband and our life together. I am not less of a woman if I can’t get pregnant.

  • Alix

    Hi all, i’m a young girl, 18, but i want to have a baby. I’m not trying to get pregnant but i’ve also never used protection with my boyfriend. I probably sound stupid and stuff because i am so young, but i know how it feels. I have this instinct that later in life there will be a reason i cannot have kids, maybe cancer, maybe a car crash i don’t know, so i feel like i would need to have children very young if i want them at all. If i knew for sure i could have kids later i would wait. But just like the rest of you, i’m not able to get pregnant, we believe it’s because of my boyfriend because he had testicular surgery 2 times as a baby. It could also be my body because for the last little while i’ve been getting one period every three months. The doctors say there’s nothing wrong with my hormones, and my boyfriend still after 3 years has not gotten fertility testing done. As i said i would wait if i knew i could have kids later, but i just don’t know, and it kills me. Not to mention my mother hit menopause at 38 years old, and i fear i’ll hit it even younger. When a woman turns 30 her chances of conceiving are cut in half, i feel like i’m racing the clock even though i’m young.

  • Venessa

    WOW!!! i soo know how u ladies and men feel…it’s weird to say but my family is so used to having pregnancies at a young age!

    I have been trying to get pregnant FOREVER!!! And i am tired of crying at night, feeling depressed, confused, and hate towards myself. My husband has had a child before i met him, a little girl! Everytime i see pictures of her it hurts and whats worst the mother uses her against me saying, “HAHA, at least i can get pregnant and you can’t!” That hurt soo much! You have no idea! I wish i knew how to deal with the pain but i have stopped using condoms..i hate birth control pills..i have been taking prenatals i even have been losing wieght and eating right!
    I pray every morning and night that God would give the best blessing ever! And i hope he hears me…

    My older sister had 4 babies between the ages 15 – 20 yrs old and my little brother had just 2 babies and hes married and hes only 17 yrs old!!! So now it’s just me and my lil sister..my sister well she doesn’t want kids soon because she’s young, but me i am really ready! Yet nothing has come up! My parents try to comfort me and my siblings but its no use…even my husband says it’ll happen soon you just wait and see….

    how do you all overcome that you have no children at all?

  • Cheryl

    I am 41, married 16 years. Husband is 51 and I found out he never really wanted children and has never talked about them. I naively have stayed and feel I have wasted my life with him. I feel cheated and very very sad that I have never conceived or had an accident. Like an earlier post I too feel like one day I am going to commit suicide as no one tells you when you walk down that aisle that you will never be a mother. If you have children, I envy you. You are so blessed.
    I have all the money in the world, travelled to the most wonderful destinations overseas twice a year. I would trade it all just to hear someone call me mom…………

  • bb

    Thanks for your article. It’s powerful for women like us.

  • Zara

    I am 22 years old and my husband and I have been trying to conceive since we got married almost a year and a half ago. I want a baby so bad but it’s just not happening. I started taking vitex to regulate my hormones but it seemed to stop working. Ugh!! It’s just so frustrating when you want something so bad but you can’t seem to get it. My husband really wants a child too and we know he isn’t the problem since he had no trouble conceiving his child with his ex-wife.I still have hope that it will happen one day soon.

  • jdw

    I feel that there is still hope for me after reading all the comment. We are TTC for about 7 months now and still nothing. I just keep on telling myself that the doc said that it can take up to a year to conceive. I was just so dissapointed last month when i went to the gyni and all he had to say was “keep on trying”. NO questions about how, when, or what. Well so all we do is keep on trying as we are both very healty and everything seems normal.

  • Soon-to-be…

    First I’d like to say thank you to everyone who has posted here. You are strong and brave, and I admire you. My story is a little different, and I hope I can get some advice.

    I am 25, and I have been with my best friend for six years. We are engaged to be married next Nov. While I love him with all of my heart I am nervous about our future. While we are not trying right now, I already know we will have issues. My other half is a child leukemia survivor, in remission now for 20years! (He’s now 30) While he is in good health now, the chemo has killed his sperm count. He produced little to none, and he takes testosterone shots every other week. That’s not all. Bc his treatments were done in the early 80’s, his blood transfusions were not clean. He got Hep. C from the blood. This makes it even more difficult for us to try, in fear I may get contract it.

    So I already know, that moving forward is an up hill battle. Up until now I was too young to think about having kids. Now that we are about to be married, the idea of starting our own family appeals to me. I guess you could say i’m starting to get the “itch”. So I stand here today thinking, am I about to walk down the isle, to a life of bitterness? Will I someday resent the man who I rush home to see today? I can’t even entertain the idea of not sharing the rest of my life with him. But apart of me is scared that we are doomed. I’m scared of trying various treatments and failing. I’m scared.

  • Simply Trying :)

    Your story has touched me in such a way that I can’t explain.
    I am trying as well to get pregnant. My husband and I have been trying for about six months. I have had 1 miscarriage and it sucked! 🙂 I have been feeling all of the emotions that you described; angry, stressed, jealous, confused, ect. But, I justed wanted to tell you, Thank you. You have given me the courage to keep on keeping on.
    Me and my husband have already been blessed with 1 wonderful son. He is almost six and the light of our lives. I shouldn’t be so sad. I should feel blessed.
    I will pray for you and your husband. I am so sorry for everything that you have had to go through. No women should have to be childless when they obviously want a baby so bad.
    I don’t argree with the other person who commented that a life of freedom is wonderful too. They are wrong. Giving your all to someone else is EVERYTHING! I know that it is probably not what you want to hear but….with such a wonderful and huge heart you should consider becoming a teacher. I have just finished my BA in elem. edu. and it is so wonderful. The kids aren’t yours and you can’t take them home but, they do bring you love and joy like no other!
    Good Luck!!! And, don’t give up.

  • Lola

    Oh Gosh i tried to read every reply but i;m starting to cry. Me (29 Yrs old now) and my hubby(28yrs old) have been trying for 3 & half yrs now. I have irregular periods and i dont really know when i ovulate, sometimes i do sometimes i dont. I’ve been in Clomid and Famera for the last 3 years and still nothing. Not a month goes by that i dont cry when i get my period. I tried every ovulation and pregnancy test out there. I dont have insurance but i can still manage to pay for my doc visits.
    But i know GOD will give me a baby when he pleases. And i will never ever give up, not for as long i breath. Where i come from we dont believe in adoption. But it comes up to it i will adopt. I sometimes get very mad when my friends who dont even want and try to have a baby they get pregnant, but GOD knows what he is doing.
    Baby dust all 🙂

  • Bucolic Buffalo

    Put more men on the job!

  • C

    For those of you who are not going to the doctor or not trying fertility-
    PLEASE use every resource that is available to you. If you fail- you can say honestly to your self that you truely tried everyting.
    If you wont try fertility drugs, if you wont call your insurance to see if other ways of becoming pregnant are covered- what is wrong with you? You are crying “helpless” with out helping yourself!!
    I have done all of those things and I am still struggling. I feel your pain, but I can say I truely am doing EVERYTHING in my power to help myself. I wont be a victim- I will do everything I can to make my world the best it can be.
    I waited 5 years thinking that my insurance did not cover IUI- DAMN it!! If I started 5 years ago I would have been so much better off! They do! They do! They do cover it!
    Too little too late.
    Do everything that you can NOW…

  • Christina

    I hope you do get pregnant i have tried for 3 years nothing hear either and it makes me angry to.

  • Faith

    I think unfortunately for “Dennis” he has absolutely zero understanding of the concept of having children. The DEFINITION of being a parent is SELFLESS, at least it is for the good ones! Good luck and all the best, if its meant to be it will!

  • sally

    hello everyone , yes i too am a married women who has been trying for almost three long years to have a baby with no luck, i have had every test under the sun and painful operations just to find out there is nothing wrong with me or my husband , i ovulate like clock work but still no luck , i know how painful it is ladies and i know all about depression , and feeling like life will never be whole without a baby but i keep telling myself to be strong and have faith , please know ladies that i feel really close to you all with this heartbreaking thing , i wish you all the luck in the world and how WE all get our wish , wishing you lots of baby dust now get to it xxoo

  • Buddy03

    I hate that so many of us go through this. My friend just had a bab and all i here is how her daughter is the best thing and how happy she is and she couldnt of asked for anything better..she got pregnant on a one night stand! her husband cheats on her! seriously I HATE LISTENING! i hope a baby is in the cards for me…im a nurse my hubby is i the service we are capable financially emotionally and spiritually to have a baby..im tired of asking WHY? i never will know but i have learned to have patience but im sick of it i get so emotional and hate myself some times…
    just needed to vent

  • Ashley

    My husband and I have been trying for 6 months now and it has taken a toll on my emotions by trying to be the strong one and holding everything in. I have had several episodes of small emotional break downs and I try not to put any blam on either one of us but I can’t help but wonder why us… Just every other couple that is going through the same thing… We have been together for the past 6 year and we have always dreamed of having a child together, taking our love for one another to another level having something so precious that is part of both of us is our dream! I just need guidance and help to get through this extream difficult emotional lifes strugle…
    Even though my husband doesn’t blame me I fell so sick that I can not give him a child that he has always wanted. Andhe tells me that it will all be ok… But I can not help but think about it non stop and wonder… Is it going to happen this month?… Am I ever going to have a baby of my own?… Is there something wrong with me?… It is so intense these thougts and feelings… I cry alot when I am alone and try not to infrpnt of my husband…
    But I am even more frustrated that these women who don’t expect or even don’t want a child get pregnant… How and why is this? I wish I was one of thoes women getting pregnant so easy!

  • thinker


  • Patrice

    I just don’t get it my husband has 7 kids every time i go to the docter there’s nothing wrong with me but somethings not right i feel like you said I see people that don’t have the love as me and my husband do that’s walking around with 3 or more kids can’t afford them living off welfare and I am 29 years old never been married before never been pregnant before , never was able to use birth control and I am at a point of happiness and I can not give my husband something that we both want with each other something that he don’t understand that he already has but, not with me but, something that we both want with each other it hurts like hell.

  • SD

    Hi everyone,
    Another negative test today – and I cant stop crying.
    I have been in the same bandwagon as many of you, and have lost faith now that I will ever get pregnant. I and my dear loving husband, both 35, have been married for 8 years now and have been trying to conceive for five years. We were referred to an infertility clinic four years ago when we found out that my husband has meagre sperms and my body has started aging faster than I have (low egg production). We have spent over $50,000 trying several IUIs and a failed IVF (not covered by insurance). We have even reverted to using donor sperms but didnt work at all – the result of our last IUI with donor sperms today was negative. I and my husband are both depressed and frustrated. I have a long night of tissues and wine waiting for me. It hurts especially when everyone around us just have to try once to get pregnant or are having accidental pregnancies. I am happy for all of them but also am jealous of their lives. I and my husband have a great relationship, make decent money and have a nice home and family support but still feel a void. I am tired of everyone asking me when we are going to be pregnant and start a family. OR even about why dont you try infertility treatments like IUI or IVF. What should I tell them – that I have tried all and they dont work for me, because I am different? I tell myself everytime that I am not going to worry but I still hope, every month as years pass by. We are now thinking of looking at this practically because we have to stop throwing $$ at the treatments : we dont want to financially ruin ourselves obsessing about the fertility situation. We will eventually adopt (we have discussed it) when we have enough bank balance (but it will not happen in the next two years.)
    I just wanted to vent my frustrations here -I really like this blog and it gives comfort to find out that “I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE” going through this. I just hope that our wishes come true one day and we have at least ONE baby that we can call our own, either through pregnancy or adoption – and that day comes soon enough. Good luck to you all.

  • W

    hi there… i can relate to this.. and i’m glad i found this site.. i honestly felt so alone.. been married about, well next month it’ll be 3 yrs..it’s been quite difficult cause everyone who got married after me (like my friends) most of them have given birth and some already onto their 2nd pregnancy)..i used to cry whenever i heard someone i knew was already pregnant..my periods are regular.. me and hubby have checked with our doctor.. everything is normal.. i Guess it’s just not time yet, i just have to be patient and believe that the time will come soon enough.. and i hope for the best for everyone who is trying..

  • Sarah J

    PCOS is also another problem that gets in the way of being able to have children, for the past 6 years i’ve been trying to find a way around it as well. I’m glad im not alone

  • Sarah J

    This really hits home. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for six years. Even though your writing here says to not feel useless it’s hard to feel anything but that, especially when everything short of IVF doesn’t work.

  • Buddy03

    I think the cussing and vulgerness needs to be kept to a minimum thats not why we are here! THIS IS SUPPORT NOT A FIGHT!

  • Baby T

    having a child is a blessing from God and i myself want one.

  • Baby T

    Why dont you all who keep asking why she wants a child go to hell

  • Buddy03

    So I have never posted a comment about my infertility nor did I ever think I would! I read and read everyone elses problems so i can see what everyone and not just me goes through. Im not looking for pitty but maybe just a guide of hope. I am 23 and been married for 3 years. My husband is active duty in the military and married me knowing I had a fertility problem. Anyways I have been pregnant 5 times. I have had 2 ectopic pregnancies and two miscarriages and a c-section at 4 months and obviously my child died(that was when I was 19). I havent been pregnant since 2008 and it seemed i was able to I cant anymore. I do though have PCOS and am taking metformin for my insulin. Ive tried fertility drugs and the first time didnt work. I have not tried since (that was aug 09) because it was emotional. I am going to try another dose of fertility but I have found that if I have a baby or not I will be happy. Dont get me wrong I would LOVE nothing more than to be a mother but why would I be miserable in my life when ther is alot to be thankful for…like just being alive, having a husband who loves me and a dog(jack russel) who is like my child needs me everyday! I know how hard it is, I know is sucks and as much as I hate hearing WHEN ITS MENT TO BE IT WILL or WHEN GOD IS READY HE WILL LET U CONCEIVE ect….dont let this make u miserable in ur life, dont take it for granted and only focus on having a baby and u look back and u are older and have a fewer chance of bearing a child. Trust me that was me….Ive been told and this is brutal…”what makes you so important not to have a miscarriage when other women do!” OK so IVE HAD 5 FIRST OF ALL but its kinda true…Maybe I cant have my prayers answered yet because someone else is in line for a heart or kidney or their true love in which all I have! I dont know if im talking in circles or ginna piss anyone off but this is sorta my “Coping Mechanism” I have not given up I have just calmed down but WILL still keep trying….I always pray that I wouldnt wish what Ive been through to my worst enemy and seeing all these posts breaks my heart even more….I hope we all get what we need and deserve outta life and will keep up with this blog…Its the first to make me write.
    Thanks for reading

  • Everyone said that I didn’t have any problems and after my son died (at birth) I figured I would be pregnant again soon enough. In fact I couldn’t believe when the Dr. said not to try for at least 6 months. Well, I now know the emotions that people feel about not being able to get pregnant.

    Hubby and I are looking to adopt because there are many children who are searching as much as we are waiting.

    I hope it works out for you.

  • anna

    can children 10years old get pregnant? why or why not because im ready

  • kapil

    this is very exite to all that they became a parent but in my case we are very unlucky in this case.we are very disappointed to dont get a baby.so we are going to quit our life cause we cant listen tont about we cant get pregnancy.plz help us.

  • Lexie

    I too have been trying for over 10 years. I had two miscarriages and that was 10 years ago. As I write, I set here sobbing and giving up. I really don’t know how much more I can take. I have people that ask me Hey when are you guys going to have kids and I just try to ignore them. I am really suffering because I have kept all of my feelings bottled up for so long. At this point, I am mad at the world and I have given up. I just get so upset to see other women falling pregnant.

  • Kristy

    I am 28. I am completely healthy and so is my husband, he is 35. We have been trying to have a baby for 10 months now. And nothing. I have my period every month like clockwork. My mom always says “you worry about it too much.” I hate that. How can you think about anything else when it consumes your mind day in and day out? I was married before to someone who didn’t want children. We were married for 7 years. And got divorced about 2 years ago. I got married young and thought eventually he would want them. I feel like he stole that away from me because by the time I realized he wasn’t changing his mind and found a man who did care, I lost my inability to have children. My husband is a vendor and has to visit local stores such as Wal-Mart and grocery stores to stock soda and he sees people in there all the time. Mothers who look like they have never bathed with 3 children, all of whom look unbathed. She is screaming at them constantly and they are in there day in and out. Same people. Why can they have kids and not me? I would bathe my child. I would feed my child. I wouldn’t scream at my child for ungodly reasons. I don’t understand. WHY NOT ME? This article makes me feel good to know that there are others who feel my pain and that I’m not alone. I dream every night of the baby being born. I know I would love it more than I have ever loved anyone in this world. I hope that all of the people on this board get pregnant because we would make great mothers and fathers. It would be a cruel world if we didn’t.

  • kim

    i am 26yrs old me and my husband were trying to get preg almost year and half my husband refuse to go to a hospital he is scare i want to go and see what the doctor has to say but money is not there every time i get my period i cry i hate my self i wish i never get married i hate when people ask me if i got pregnant people are ignorant they ask me why i am not pregnant what the hell i wish i can make my self pregnant but we all waiting God he has plan for us and i wish u all the best

  • Achiaamaa

    Hi Susan, all hope is not lost, God has a purpose in your life, sometimes things has to go bad for us to see the goodness of the Lord. i am 27 and i have been trying for a baby for 3 years too without success. i was really frustrated due to the fact that every thing i’ve tried with hubby has not worked, i always use to cry at night, but there is this text in the bible, which says there shall be no barren in the land, so if you belief in God. Keep on praying, eat the right foods, enjoy sex,have more rest as you can,spice ur marriage with new activities like visiting interesting places,learning and preparing new menus, watching some interesting and funny movies,read the bible, above all pray for an increased faith in life and a breakthrough daily. and stop thinking about others who has easily got pregnant. Our faith can make this happen even if it is not possible, i am keeping up the faith, and i belief it will happen soon, when we least expect it.

  • kelley smith

    I would be so nice and have a greater bond with other people and other children like my nephews I love them all to life but it’s not the same they have a certain respect for there parents and the reality is there not my kids I’ve always wanted to experience what it like sometimes I’ll say I really don’t care but I do or try not to I was just sad now I’m just going to let all this bitterness LIKE my friend she had a baby then it was issues where people were stealing other people babies because they wanted one so bad and NO I don’t agree with that it is obviously very wrong it’s just that she was so stupid and so ignorant saying why don’t they just have there own and I’m thinking to myself ok definition of ignorance it’s not that simple if it was don’t you think they would have done that all ready I told her ever one can’t have kids calmly and she goes tough. but I hope you all are blessed with a baby and hang in there

  • kelley smith

    I felt so sad so many times also I looked at all of the ovalation calendars tryed to pin point dates and it just started to get so serverly serverly irritating annoying driving myself crazy calcalating days planing times saying ok the day of ovalation a day before ovalation 5 days before and yes month afther month I kept seeing what’s called my friend in the red dress which wasn’t a friend everytime my cycle came on I wrote poems I cryed and sobbed and sobbed and almost burst into tears seeing babies or baby clothes and constantly writing names on paper constantly I never knew it could be such a struggle when I was a teen I thought it was so simple so easy have sex have a baby but it certainately doesn’t always work like that I sincerly apologize if I offended or hurted anyone’s feelings I’ve just been so hurt I felt so much pain just felt like something have just punched me in the heart type of feeling I know I would love my child have do much to offer I think it would certainately change me for the very best I think

  • kelley smith

    It really pisses me off to think about how it’s not someone’s time and they must not be ready when these rape victim children that’s 8-10 yr old having babies they don’t want them or don’t need them don’t know what there doing it’s so irritating that these idiots throw there babies in trash cans and rivers and have baby’s they abuse them abord them like there a piece of trash and guess what these evil scum of the earth have babys the one’s killing them I mean it’s anoying it’s fustrating not trying to make anyone feel bad it’s just so annoying and people say don’t stress yourself don’t think of it and it happen that’s more fustrating because people can think about and still have kids I even hate when women plan to have kids say they want them and when they have them that act as if it just happened knowing it didn’t I’ve always wanted to get this off my chest I think I kind of feel alittle better

  • Ken R.

    Being a man I don’t totally know how it must feel the wanting of being pregnant. But I do know how it feels to want to have a child of your own. A woman since she is a child has dolls put in front of her and is told she will have babies and be a mother too. If that is in your mind since you were a child and its been in your head and heart since then it is immpossible to just disregard it and move on with your life.
    Having said that my wife and I got married later in life, we to went through all the test and surgeries, midnight, 3am shots countless drugs and a lot of money, just to be able to have a baby. We turned our attention to adoption and in just a short year we adopted a beautiful baby boy he is now 21/2 and the center of our lives. No we are not rich to afford this we are in debt but work extra jobs to help pay down our loans. But even with out child my wife stills longs for wanting to have a baby. My point is I don’t think this feeling will ever go away even with having a child that feels like he is our own.

  • Jaya

    am in the same boat, we trying literally from 1 yr. I don’t know whats the wrong with me….test are normal….still….
    I just searched for ‘why cant I be pregnant?’ tears are rolling…searching for the answer….your story cached me…I Love the way u expressed….I understand u. I know one of my aunts…she was not been pregnant for 12 yrs…..can we believe it????? now she is a mother with 7 yr old cute & smart girl. So we, we all no need to worry & am sure one day we all become mothers with gods grace.

  • annemarie

    Its a good story, I know just how you feel.. Since i left school i thought of nothing else but to have children..I was not silly though and waited..I never use protection when i turned 18 ..Although i had two more partners i never used protection again after being with them for a year.. I am now 26 i am settled and engaged have a flat but there just one thing missing having a child… Its heart breaking and I agree everyone around us getting pregant and that just kills you more… I hope one day it will happen for me and you x

  • chelsea

    Hi, great story Kate. I’m amazed at all the other women here that feel the same way I do. I have a Chromosomal translocation and have been with the same man for 5 years and I am going through my third known miscarriage at the moment. We have had unprotected sex since we have been together and only 3 known pregnancies which all have ended in miscarriage.. I feel like sometimes I will never be able to have a baby and it will always lead to miscarriage. This may sound selfish but the thought of adoption just doesn’t do it for me.. just like all of you I want to feel life inside me, I want to feel like a woman. It’s not fair how there are druggies and whores out there who get pregnant and keep doing bad stuff but of course still have a baby. I’m sorry for everyone going through the same thing. I wish you all the best. I am only 22 but have been with my bf for 5 years and we’ve had a lot of sex. So on top of my Chromosomal translocation problem it is hard for me to even get pregnant I don’t know why cus besides that everything is normal in there. Anyway just wanted to tell my short story and wish everyone luck and thank you for Kate for this article. I don’t feel like such an alien now lol.

  • Leslie

    I have been married 10 years in feb i’am 32 almost 33 years old no kids my husband has one daughter i adopted it hurts to not have one know i never will.
    I get sad at times need him he refuses to be their for me.
    he says well thei’s nothing we can do so realize it get over it.
    this is something its hard to get over.
    he has a real bio child i have always wanted my own child to carry one now i cant.
    we are gettin ready to adopt 4 other kids that are again not mine from pregnancy it seems all my preganant friends are rubbin it in my face that they get to have a baby we dont.
    so i know how ya all feel

  • Joanna

    My goodness, I didn’t know that so many women are going through the same thing I am going through. I’m 23, and my hubby and I have been trying to conceive for 2 years now. We got married when we turned 20, we have been together since we were in the 6th grade. We grew up together, and we always imagined having 3 kids: two in our 20s and another one in our 30s. But now I feel like its impossible to even have one. I have no clue what is wrong with me, I have had an irregular menstrual cycle since I was 18, and all my doctors have told me its ok. A couple of months ago I went to a “specialist” who said that I might have PCOS. Well he gave me some medication to regulate my menstrual cycle, and to see him 3 months later. Then 3 months later passed on and I went to see him in October and his practice had been demolished. Now I don’t know what kind of doctor to look for. I don’t know what to do. I too also envy my aunt, she is a 43 year old about to have a baby boy. When she already has 5 kids. I know I should be happy, but i feel its not fair. But I won’t lose hope, thanks for all your stories 🙂

  • Cassandra

    hi kate… reading your story made me cry because the more i read it the more it sounded as if i was writing it… i have not gone for tests yet because of the fact that I am completely scared to hear those words “you cannot have children” i have been trying and trying… seeing friend after friend after friend getting pregnant and not wanting it. i currently have 4 friends that i hang out with that are all between 4-6 months pregnant.. 3 of them are upset because they already have a child and sit there and say they wished they could never gotten pregnant.. i went to an ultrasound with one of those 3 and it didnt even get to her she acted as if she didnt even care and was completely emotionless about it… as for me i was soooo “angry” but at the same time very upset… wishing it was me. everyday i think about this and talk with my boyfriend and the result is always the same.. me crying him holding me telling me its going to be ok. my whole life that is the ONLY thing i have ever wanted…. to be a mom… to have the big belly that everyone wants to touch… the grandchildren that my parents want… the kids that me and my boyfriend dream about… but it seems as if thats all its ever going to be is a big dream… i know theres adoption but call me ignorant or whatever but its not mine. and the fact that adopting a child is soooo expensive that people like us who sit in that middle class spot cannot possibly afford or even be considered for adoption. and as for the one comment i seen about our world being over populated doesnt mean that people like us who want a family and would not even be considered for adopting a child its kinda the only chance we have… but reading your story has gotten to me and i understand most of the things you are feeling… thank you for posting this story it truly has touched my heart…

  • Tania

    Kate, I feel what u r saying 100 percent.I am 26 years old and I too have wanted chlildren for as long as I can remember, but have come to the realization that it just may not happen. I also get bitter when I see my friends having kid after kid, when I would be so happy to just have one. It has always been a dream of mine and I know that I would be the greatest mother. I just get frustrated alot b/c there are all these young mothers having babies who dont even want them and I would love to be in their shoes.It just makes me wonder why I have to be the “different” one. I just pray that God sees the good in me and blesses me with a baby, as I pray that he does the same for u and all the other women in our position~ May God Bless u and Good Luck!!!

  • margaret

    hi my name in margaret and i have 2 misscarry. one in 2006 and one in 2009. is it because im rh negative. i just wonder if i can get pragnant agin. pls help [Personal contact info deleted]

  • Sad1

    Thank you for posting this article. It comforts me to know I am not the only one out there having trouble getting pregnant. I have been trying to get pregnant with my husband since we got married 6 months ago. I know its not an issue till about a year but in my heart I feel like something is wrong. I have the baby room all set up thanks to my mother who knew we were trying and i cant even bear to go in it because I am just reminded that I don’t have one. I feel like there is something wrong with me because my husband has a child, my stepson whoam we raise together. Yet I feel bitter and angry. My stepson and I used to have a great relationship but even he is getting impatient and constantly asking for a sibling. I never got to hold my step son when he was a baby and I fear that I will be infertile and never hold a baby of my own. I pray every day for a child but for the past 6 months, every month is another disappointment. I have always wanted my own child and it pains me so greatly that I have yet to become pregnant. All the women in our family have never had any problems. I have tried fertility blend pills, ovulation charts, sleeping well, I am of a healthy weight, and try not to stress. Everything is perfect for a baby to come into our lives but yet, she or he has yet to come. I pray for everyone on here that has to deal with this. I can’t even imagen some of your pain for trying 10+ years. God has given you much strength. Please pray for me as well.

  • ameenah

    thank u ladies i am not givin up at all…not at long as i am breathing god is good and yes we should support each other this is a stuff thing for a woman to go tru…


    Hi Kate
    I am like yourself over 3 years of trying (2 natural and 1 year of laproscoy, clomid and one course of IVF). It has been interesting reading the feedback from others and can honestly say that what is getting me through this time is planning and doing things for now. I felt the past three years have swept by and I did not get the result I wanted in the end. This week I turn 35 and believe now that if a miracle happens then it will, however it will not be my main focus as before (easier said then done as it still lingers strongly at the back of my mind).

    My heart is with you we are griefing yet we have not lost a physical being. If not careful we can lose ourselves.





  • Shana

    I can not begin to describe the feelings I have been going through. I want to thank you for writing this and making me feel not like a horrible person for feeling resentment towards people who have been getting pregnant around me. I am a teacher, and I can not count the number of baby showers I have gone to at work to help my coworkers celebrate and it breaks my heart to feel that I may never be on the congratulating side. My husband and I are about to start our 5th round of clomid, and IVF is in the near future. Hopefully, one of these things will work, but I guess not everyone is supposed to get pregnant.

  • Lindsey

    Hi I am just like you. Tryin to get pregnant and it never happening. I sit and watch all my friends get pregnant and have babies. I go to all the baby showers and events as far a birthdays. Sometimes I just feel like I don’t belong. Who wants a 28 year old women at a kids party without a kid? I don’t know what to do or how to think anymore. It makes you feel less of a women and like you have no purpose. I’m tired of also seeing people who have one kid and keep getting pregnant but they just keep aborting their children…uggghhh

  • crystal

    thank you for your story

  • cece

    [Personal attack deleted by Comments Editor] Secondly to Kate, I think that you are very brave to put your feelings out there because you are helping others cope as well. I thank you for writing this article. Don’t give up trying to fulfill your dream.

  • ameenah

    like all the ladies above i am now marry or 14yrs y husand an i was together since school day and i avent get pregnant yet and yes it is depressing fo me some days i dont want to see anyone most omy family and friends are getting pregnat but ot me…and i feel sad some of my family members they think that i am sitting and doing nothing ..our problem is my husband have low sperm count so its is hard for us to conceive and to do ivf is alot of money that we dont have..i get get dreams at night that i have a child ..then when i wake up i feel lose and depress and sorry that i wake up cuz there i had my child in my hand,and now nothing but gods know best and everything happen for a reason and my husband i know he d feel hurt but u know men they dont show it often..but as long as i got life i am not giving up

  • wannababy123

    I want a baby too.. been tryin for 3 years

  • J.N.S

    Hi all there! As I read your comments, I feel at least with you. I have been married 2yrs, was diagnosed with PCOS and blocked tubes, husband low sperm count. It is hard and one can spend alot of time crying. Being in Africa, not having children is considered a woman’s problem and you carry the whole burden. I just keep trusting God and praying though sometimes one feels worthless. Lets keep praying…..the Lord can remember us as He remembered Hannah, Elizabeth etc Shalom

  • Alicia

    how do i become a surrogate mother

  • chrys

    I understand all the articles they all touch my heart. I recently started getting feeling of wanting to be pregnant. Not that I actually tried but I have been in a relationship for about 10 years and we dont use protection and I have not got pregnant yet. I start to think that may be it not for me but when I see other pregnant women I get all choked up. No matter how I try to focus on other things it keeps coming back to me. I even went so far to ask god to take those thoughts away if me and my boyfriend cant have a child together. We both love kids but he doesnt want to adopt. Maybe one day we will all get our wishes. Good luck to you all.

  • Danielle

    Hopeless, when reading your post I felt like I was reading my own words. I feel exactly like you do. I am tired of people asking so when are you having a baby? We are waiting to hear new from you! Every day I hear about another family memeber having a baby or coworker and I wonder..why not me? I feel hurt and it takes me a bit to bounce back from it. I too used to be so positive and upbeat and its so hard when you are hurting inside. I don’t even want to talk to friends or family members b/c I have nothing to say. The only thing we can continue to do is pray and hope that it will happen one day. When that day comes we will feel even more joy b/c we waited so long! My best wishes go out to all of you!

  • yadira

    most definitely thank u for the cell phone tip. we shall try n by the way girls after 8 months i got my period im going to start the process to see if we do get pregos on our own. fingers crossed.

  • rebecca

    am my husband sperm is low am can i become preagent im tryin 4 years an notin happen wat can i do i need help

  • Hopeless

    Thank you to everyone who has shared their story. My heart goes out to all of you and you are all in my prayers! My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years and have been trying to have a baby for almost 2 years.Growing up I have always loved children and always wanted to be a mom.We wanted to wait to have children until we were both finished with school and had stable jobs.Big mistake, all that time wasted.We have been through all the tests! For some reason I don’t ovulate on my own.So I have tried chlomid and Femara. Both made me ovulate so the doctors say I should be able to get pregnant.Still nothing. I go through the ups and downs every month. I get the positive on the ovulation test, get my hopes up, and then the huge let down having my period.I try to keep my faith in god.Very difficult.I have a job where I work with low income families who receive rental assistance. Everyday I receive calls from girls that are pregnant and meet with them regularly.All these girls get to keep having multiple babies that they can’t afford.I can’t even have one!I try to be happy for everyone,even these girls who I work with.I feel guilty for the negative feelings I have.I feel all alone. Thanks to you for sharing your stories. I know I am not alone. I hope that all of you get to have a baby.My husband has been wonderful and supportive throughout this process.I use to be a happy, fun, positive person to be around. Now I feel that I am a downer. I was starting to believe that everyone would be better off without me and that I should go away for a long time, maybe forever. However after reading everyone’s stories I know I am not alone. I have changed my mind and I am going to try and stay positive. I am going to try to pretend to be happy and keep praying to god.

  • MissMongolia

    hello all! i just finished readin all these comments. Im very touched..I got pregnant when i was 15 and i abortioned.since then i never got pregnant.Now im 24years old desperate for pregnancy…im seing a doctor right now. he said we will try one more time and if its not going to work hes goin to do a thing i dont know how to call it in english.u take out the egg and u put the sperm in the lab and put it back inside the womans body. if it goes well then u will have a child..anyways for tryin over almost 4 5 years i dont know anymore…but today it was very nice to knoe that am not alone…i needed this….

  • Anonymous

    Yep Jennifer I do believe that stress factors into getting pregnant or not. I was going through a mobbing situation at work. After I lost that baby though, the 2 women who stirred it up, had a field day harassing me about losing a baby. BTW – I told my hubby what you’d said about the cell phone issue!!!

  • Both partners should keep cell phones out of pockets such as pants pockets. Basically, the radiation or whatever from the cell phone reduces sperm count, particularly causing problems for males. I hope it does not too drastically cause problems for the unobservant teens today. I am lucky to know about this. Good Luck, God speed!

  • Oh! One more IMPORTANT statement: My father told a patient to try this.

    Keep the cell phone away from pockets and other areas near private body parts They did this, and a few months later- after the husband kept his cell phone out of his pants pocket, maybe in his shirt pocket- the wife got pregnant! Hopefully that is the only problem. Give it a try.

  • Sometimes stress makes a pregnancy less likely. Make sure the sperm goes in- alot of it. And do it everyday. And eat health but enough of it… and don’t go crazy with workouts. That kind of stuff can be hard on the body. But yeah, stress really effects the body. Have you gone to see a Psychologist, just to vent? I would. But my dad is one, so I really never get to go to one. Good luck. 🙂 I want to have children someday. And hey, dude, just because all these couples are having way TOO MANY kids, does not mean I should not have them. Let THEM adopt, and I get to have kids! lol. Yeah, good luck with that one.

    Good luck to you girlie! Hows it going so far?

  • NON-pregnant wannabe mom

    My fertility Dr. told me that fertility rates go down after age 23! Argh!

    Lovely, I say we advocate our society to having children at age 18!

  • Anonymous

    I am currently struggling with infertility. Went through a year’s worth of fertility drugs/test/hsg. And nothing was physically wrong. Then a few months after quitting the fertility meds I managed to get pregnant for the first time. But when I went in for my U/S at 12 wks I found out that the baby (would’ve been my first) stopped growing a few weeks before. What made me cry was having to listen to lullaby music after the test – when a baby was born upstairs in that hospital. I just cried. I felt like, Gee the “Lord giveth the Lord taketh away”. I’ve lost my faith in god. I have tried to get pregnant thereafter and nothing. In fact recently I thought I was again – Nope. No baby just something wrong with my usually punctual 28 day cycle. I’m sick of praying to whatever God there may be out there. I’m now into my mid-30’s and sick of waiting. I just cry when I hear of other women who CAN get preggo at the drop of a hat. Amazes me. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that it would be this difficult for me. I guess if there is a god out there, he must have a real sick sense of humor. Oh, on top of all that, when I lost that first baby, I had a couple of stupid women poke fun at the fact that I’d lost it at work. Women are quite insensitive about infertility to each other as well. Must be great to have that experience of motherhood – I don’t think that will ever happen. I just wish I could have at least 1 child.

  • kristy

    hi kate-

    i know how hard it is me and my husband have a four year old daughter a blessing from God, but when trying to concieve agian I lost three to miscarraiage and almost died from a set of twins that miscarried and one was left in my tube. we are not giving up hope because I know the lord will give us our blessing when the time comes. All things are planned and directed by God. It is easy to say God I want a baby now? but God does not have to meet our demands, its a gift and a blessing. i believe God had other plans for my five children and one day I will get to have another but right now is the time to be patient and wait. Maybe God has a plan for you first then the blessing will come no one knows why these things happen but I am truly sorry for you and your husband and wish you the best of luck. I will keep you in my prayers. I know it hard to not think this is some cruel game but it is not im only 23 and i am healthy, this just isnt the right time for me. keep trying and don’t give up or get doiscouraged God has much love for you and will bring you a blessing in due time.


  • Samantha P.

    Hey Kate, very touching story.. Me and my fiance have been together for a while And it hasn’t been any 3 years or even 1 year. but it has been almost a year and i still have not gotten pregnant, and we have been wanting a baby for the longest time now. Even when we were in high school our freshman yearss yeah we were young but we still knew we were going to have one someday! Everything you mentioned made perfectly good sensse to me. Keep it up,don’t give up now please! Be like me and keep trying no matter what it takes girl!

  • jem

    hi just happened to stumble on this blog but im glad i did! Its nice to know were not alone, i have been trying for a baby for 6 years now i went to several doctors who just sent me away saying there was nothing wrong, but after years i finally went to a doctor the other day who didnt send me away laughing. We are in the process of starting treatments and i have my fingers crossed. Its nice to know im not the only one who feels angry etc towards friends who fall preganant and this site is very positive.Good luck guys and i hope we all get pregnant very soon!

  • A little perspective never hurts.

    Don’t think I don’t understand. It’s not a criticism. I’ve been there. Good luck.

  • Cindy

    We’ve been trying for 2 years and I cannot take it anymore. Will be starting my 3rd round on Clomid (cannot wait) 🙁 . Why why why? It feels like I’m being punished for something!!

  • Annie

    My period trurned up again today. My husband and I have been trying for 2 years and I do feel like the only person in this city that can’t get pregnant!
    I am also fed up of feeling so much self pity for myself and wish that I didn’t feel such nasty jealousy towards people I know that find it easy so to fall pregnant.
    I have had a blood test done by my local doctor which came back “normal” and my husband’s sperm count is also “normal”. Can can we be normal when nothing happens!! I feel like a freak, the odd one out!
    I have cried while reading all of your comments and I maybe I am not a freak after all?
    Due to see the doctor again in a week as I want to be checked out before looking at IVF as I am so nervous that I want to able to cope emotionally with the pressure.
    Thank you for all of your comments I don’t feel as lonely as I did an hour ago.

  • Alex

    Who knew this whole trying to get pregnant thing would be so hard. It is very sad.

  • Lnoelle

    Thank you so much for sharing Kate. My husband and I have been trying for over a year and nothing. All the false alarms and bitterness toward friends….reading your article is EXACTLY what I have been going through. Thanks for making me feel a bit better and being able to read others’ stories, too.

  • Ash

    I got pregnant with my son so unexspectedly. I got pregnant in november of 2008 but had a miscarriage after 6 months of trying and now we have been trying for over a year and still no baby my next step is a fertility specialist to which i hope theres something they can do. My son is four yrs going to be 5. He wants a sibiling so bad. He ask me all the time if I am going to have another baby and I always have to tell him with so much anger upon myself that there is no baby as of right now. I try so hard but get no where! I hape for a mericle! I dont understand how one of my oldest sister has 5 kids my youngest sister has 3 and I have one!!!!

  • yadira

    well ladies,

    I suppose everyone has done some research like me. i read about something called ‘pre-seed” and u can buy it over the counter. this helps the semen stay inside instead of coming back out. it’s like a ky jelly lubricant. other tips r that if u put a pillow under ur hips it helps the semen swim to the ovum, but dont put 2 pillows because it will pass ovum. so just do 1 pillow. either way the semen are already programed to swim upward. don’t stand up right after sex. lay down for at least 5 minutes and give them a head start. very important dont go to the restroom and pee right after sex. ur literally flushing them out. stress is no good either. relax, breath and don’t think of this as a job or a stress factor like u have to get pregnant eventually we will. but when we stop stressing. if u have sex every other day researchs say tht we keep fresh semen inside still trying to reach its destination. also anything with caffeine is no good when trying to concieve. also shellfish is no good because it has mercury. but if we have tried many things y cant we continue trying. i know im not gonna give up. my problems are im like a yo yo with my weight and don’t ovulate every month so i have to guess when i am. it’s interesting tht “ANNIE” said ” gods going to send them a baby when there ready,” but in reality i say the same thing and a friend said to me, god is listening to your prayer and he’s seeing in some way or the other your not ready for another one yet. I stopped and thinked shes actually right as much as i want one im still trying but im still not ready for another one yet. and god is listening to me even though he sees my pain in wanting another one, but i do have lots of faith and i know i will have another. its god willing and when he sees im actually ready. but im no expert ladies im just like you. just here researching the possibilities. and what i can do to increase my chances. good luck ladies.

  • aalexis

    I thank you for writing this blog. I read it and almost started to cry! I am in the exact situation, been with my husband since we were 16, got married in 2007 and have been off bc for almost 2 years. I’m 27 and he’s 28. I’ve always imagined having a child with him, I know we’d be amazing parents together. I don’t ovulate on my own, so I’m taking Femara now, we’ll see how that goes. Prayer is helping us get through it. Definitely can be stressful on a relationship, but we’ve kept open the lines of communication and that is helping us tremendously. He still doesn’t understand my sadness at times. I get the same feelings, so hard to hear all of your friends pregnancy news, even though you are very happy for them! Then, family and co workers continually ask when you are going to get a family going. I put on a smile and say someday, but it makes my heart so sad! I’m normally such a positive, happy go lucky girl, but now, this is testing me. The medication doesn’t help either. (: Its hard too, my whole family is very fertile, my sister is one of those who looks at her husband and is pregnant. But, I know in my heart that we’ll be parents someday, no matter how that happens. Thanks again Kate for writing this blog, it helps so much to read about so many people in the same boat as you. Free therapy! (: My prayers are with all of you!

  • audrey duty

    im with yall……im only 20 and half the ppl i knw my age are preg, and more than half of them dont deserve them… they sluts/or drugies… its not fair ya knw. my husband and i have been tryin for 2 yrs now and all the doctors and test say we are fine.. Then whats the prob?? i dont understand…..im givin up hope……i cant take the heart ache anymore… So please keep us in yalls prayers.. thannx and GOD bless every1!!! GOOD LUCK

  • oivia


  • Annie

    Hi my husband and I have been married for 4 1/2 years and we’ve been off BC for 3 of them. We have not been able to conceive. I am at the point that I look at a pregnant woman and tear up… We are getting the tests done soon. I’m gonna make my husband do the tests 1st so I dont have to go through them if its him, but if its not we will check me. I hate the fact that everyone in my family is fertile, having twins even but this happens to us. Maybe God knows something that I don’t. I just pray that if I can have kids that He gives them to us when He knows we’re ready. Even if we think we’re ready we may not be. I Keep gaining weight though, which kinda stinks, I think its from stress and cant do much about my stress I have no job, kids or anything to worry about except my dad… and he’s very ill the only way I can get rid of that stress is if he passes and I dont want that either! hmmm…what to do… maybe just wait.

  • MrsLL22

    Hello all,
    Thanks to Kate for posting this, as many have said before its nice to know I’m not alone when everyone around us seems to get pregnant on accident. A moment ago I just googled out of frustration “WHY AM I NOT GETTING PREGNANT!?!” after yet another negative test this morning (we’ve been trying since April 2007, are 28 and 30, fit, healthy non-smokers, etc) …and came across this blog. I just wanted to share one little piece of advice that I haven’t seen on here yet that I’m hoping will work for me. SEE A CHIROPRACTOR. My chiropractor claims that he has helped women who have been unable to get prenant- from those that have been through IVF to those who just seem to have trouble for an unknown reason. He told me that some of our female hormones are produced in the brain and not in the sex organs and have to travel down the nervous system- apparently if you are out of alignment this can be very difficult. He’s very confident and says he hasn’t failed yet. I’ll let you all know how goes. Good luck and thanks for being there!

  • LaMoya

    Well, I’m 27 years old and my husband and I have 1 2 yr old daughter…but it took us a year and a half to get pregnant with her! Here were are again ready for another baby…unprotected sex since July 2008 and still no pregnancy. I am a Christian and I do believe that in God’s own time, he makes things happen. I’ve been through taking the pregnancy tests so sure they were positive and having them come back negative. I understand how that feels. I feel encouraged by reading all the stories posted here. I know that if God could give “Sarah” and Abraham children as elderly people, He can do the same for all of us! Stay encouraged ladies and that “all things work for the good of those who love the Lord and keep His commandments”! Please understand that words I’ve spoken here are also encouraging me. Hope this helps someone!

  • Suicidal

    At 22 I got pregnant and had an abortion (vacum). At 25 I got pregnant and had another abortion (scraping). NOW 26 and desperate to have a baby, cannot get pregnant. Im so scared to go to the doctor. I have been using Ovulation kits and taking prenatal vitamins. I feel very guilty for having the abortion, especialy the second one. I am ready to kill myself if this caused my infertility 🙁 I have read mixed reviews on this topic, most of them say that abortion wont cause infertility. Does anyone have any experience with something like this? Also my periods have always been regular and very short only last for 3-4 days and my cycle is 24-25 days ..Thanks in advance for all your help,,,,,

  • Mandy

    Wow everything you wrote almost sounds like me! My husband and I have tried to have a baby for a couple years now we’ve only been married since oct of 09 tho we were trying b4 we got married and after all the hard trying still no baby then one day get papers in the mail saying he may have a almost 5 year old child out there now thats hard wanting so bad a baby and then poof ur husband gets one and u dont b/c before my time he was having fun.well she is his and b4 i meet her for a moment i was bitter and told him to sign over rights if it was his b/c he didnt know this child and wanting to make me happy b/c he knew how hard it was for me he said he would. But then i started thinking wow u dummy even tho she wasnt made in ur belly doesnt mean she isnt meant for u. needless to say we love her to death ! Still doesnt feel the hole in my heart and its still very hard to see ppl younger, unmarried, imature ppl having babys. My family and friends try to lift me up, but they just dont understand what it feels like to want,and try to have a baby and nothing happens and with no explnation why. At least if the drs could find something wrong with me maybe it wouldnt be as bad! I pray for everyone in the same situation boy is it, emotional and depressing!

  • Cherie

    here i am at 4o yrs old wondering if it wud ever happen…waited for most of my life for that christian husband, he never came now i find myself on d other side of the fence involved with someone who is married an wants a son…i too wud like a son/daughter it hurts my head..we have not been doing anything to stop it a year has passed nothing……i am scared, (1) he is married (2) my clock is ticking…don’t know what to do..

  • babieh

    am 26year today and married 6year also but i still can not have the child.. i am find alot of Dr but i still can not maybe coz i have a chocolate cyste than can make me miscarried the baby 2time already.. i am so weak now bc the DR order me can not do anything , I so scare i need someone to help and give me some advice to concieve the… ,





  • Yolandak

    Dear All

    I have been married for 10 years and when we got married, we both agreed not to have children for now until we have reached our career goals and financially stable, we also wanted to travel and we knew with children won’t be easy. I also wanted to be prepared emotionally to have a baby as the thought of a small baby scared the hell out of me.

    It was only last year when we went back and visited the idea of having children and we agreed and started witht t process. We both thought it will be just easy and quick and within months I will be pregnant but it did happen, none in my family or my husband’s family have had problems having children.

    I slowly started getting frustrated, angry and stressed about it, which will now contribute to the problem.

    Unfortunately my husband was not prepared to discuss it or even explore medical options, instead he chose to cheat on me with my own sister and she became pregnant with his baby, the baby is now 2 weeks old and I just find out last week, its my husband’s baby.

    I now blame myself that maybe we should have waited for so long, maybe there is something wrong or I did wrong not to conceive.

    I’m currently so frustrated and depressed.

  • BamaGirl

    I know it has been some time since this article was written, but I typed in Depressed can’t get pregnant and it was the first site to pop up. I feel so sad to see all of these comments from women who are in the same boat.
    My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now, although I am only 20 and he is 25. It is so devastating each and every single month that we fail. It has been that way ever since the third month with no luck, that was the first month that I actually fell down and cried when I found that I had gotten my period.
    All I have ever wanted to be was a mom. I would play that I was pregnant as a little girl by stuffing a pillow under my shirt and then I’d pull it out after a while and get a doll to pretend it was my newborn baby. I’ve always dreamed of what it would be like to have a life inside of me, and feel my baby kick, or see my baby on an ultrasound for the first time.
    It seems that everyone I know at my age is getting pregnant accidentally. From one time that the condom broke or that they forgot to take their birth control. And here I am tracking my bbt, cm, cp, and charting every single month to no avail. My husband went through chemo and radiation for testicular cancer and he feels guilty and ashamed that it may be him, but I of course do not blame him and also have the same feelings about myself. We love each other and only want to have children with one another. I want to show him the joys of fatherhood. I have friends who have children who they don’t take very good care of, and don’t appreciate the miracle that they have been given to be able to have a human life grow inside of them. One of my friends got pregnant at just 16 and TRIED for her daughter and now she and her daughter are on wellfare and the father is in and out of the picture. Neither of them even finished High School.
    My husband and I could offer a child such a great life. All we pray for is one, just one miracle. I would love to adopt as well, but I always wanted to have a little part of myself and my husband to hold in my arms. My husband does not like the idea of adoption though.
    We are young and take great care of ourselves, healthy and it should be easy for us. His mother has five kids. My mom got pregnant with me on an accident 3 months after she married my dad and got pregnant on the first try with my brother. It’s just not fair. I feel that if I can’t get pregnant, my dreams in life can never be fulfilled seeing as all I’ve ever dreamed about was being a mother. Why me? Why us? It’s just not fair.








  • Liz

    Hello Tu,

    Myself (& I’m sure many other readers!) are sad for what you’re going through at the moment. Hopefully we can provide some comfort for each other. Irregular periods may be due to lifestyle (diet, low body weight, stress), or hormonal imbalances such as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Have you seen a doctor? They can refer you for a pelvic scan & check your ovaries are ok. Find a nice female doctor & they can help provide advice to you. They will probably do a series of blood tests. My friend had PCOS & was pregnant after 6 or 8 months of hormone treatment.
    I’m also TTC (1.5yrs), married for almost 4yrs. Am 26y.o, husband 32. Even though we’re still young it doesn’t stop the pain. They haven’t found any problems with us yet so we’re still going through some tests.


  • tu

    oh hello can you talk to me i am very lonely please help me trying to canceive

  • tu

    my period every other month sometime every other 3 month so my period is not every month, every other month or 3 month so its hard me to get pregnant so you can tell me whats going on

  • tu

    my period unnormal its hard for me to get pregnant

  • Tiffany

    I feel your pain but if you were meant to have kids you would. Don’t blame yourself.

  • Jen

    Kate, it is good to know that I am not alone. I too feel like my purpose is to be a mother. It’s a longing I’ve always had, and after trying for over a year to get pregnant I am dealing with those same feelings of worthlessness, depression, and shame. I typically find that men do not understand, this is a female longing. My husband loves me and sympathizes, but just can’t understand my feelings. Thank you for posting your story despite the few critical comments you received, because it will help people like me who needed to know they were not alone! God bless!

  • angie

    hello everyone who is facing this fusturation I had the same problem I was married for 6 yrs. before I concieved all you have to do is have faith. I went thru the same routine taking clomid going to the doctor for blood work to check my hormone level. but thank god I finally got pregnant. I had already given up on the treatment and quit going to the doctor but I started to feel sick so I went to the doctor and I found out I was 4 months pregnant I now have two children who are my pride n joy. All you have to do is have faith and patience GOOD LUCK to all of you and GOD BLESS I will keep yall in my prayers.

  • kendra


  • Natalie V

    Hi my Name is Natalie im 23 yrs old and ive been with my Husband for 7 yrs this oct. I got with him when i was 16 and we have had unprotected sex but i never got pregos and i was ok with it since i was to young anyways.But we got married this May and i decided i wanted to have children.

    We have been trying for 4 months but ive always had abnormal periods once i bleed for 3 months, ive been to the doctors and its the same thing every time hermonal inbalance. Im affaid i will never get prgos and like you said everyone around you seems to just get pregnant it makes me so sad, angery,depressed.

    And I dont seem to talk to noone about it, but my husband. i kinda feel ashamed. But i read what you had to say about letting your feeling out and your so right.As i write these words to you i feel how some what connected even if i never met you. Me and my husband are going to keep trying and hopefully God will bless us. I will keep you in my prayers also and i wish you much luck.

    thanks for taking the time to listen to my story.


  • Lisa

    Wow, at all the comments and people going through the same thing…my husband and I are going through a fertility issue right now. We have been trying for almost 2 years. We have one son, and he will be 3 in November. Like the first person who posted, it was always my dream to be a mommy one day…not just be a mommy, but have 3 or 4 children. When we got married, I thought we would have 3 children, two years apart.. I just have to laugh about it now, because God certainly has other plans for us. I say laugh, at times, but for the most part I just want to cry. It hurts so much when you can’t get pregnant. You see everyone else getting pregnant so easy and they don’t think anything about getting pregnant and having another baby. I feel humiliated because my body is not working right. And I know something is wrong, because I am having pain in my ovaries. I had surgery a year ago, and my dr. found very mild endometriosis on the outside, but my uterus and tubes were fine, so I don’t believe that’s it. I started seeing a different dr, who told me the second half of my cycle is too short, so he put me on clomid, 50mg, 75mg, and then in May 100mg…we got pregnant with twins! Then 2 wks after my first ultrasound when I was at 7.5 wks, there was one baby and a heartbeat…then 2.5 wks later, I miscarried. So now it’s been 3 months, and my periods started back on time and everything, my temperature chart looks perfect like I am ovulating, and this last month we tried exactly on the day I ovulated…and I started my period a few days ago. It is so upsetting, month after month of the same thing…people do not understand unless you’ve been there..they have NO idea. I never would have thought I would have a fertility problem after having one child. We were married for 2.5 years when we started trying for our first child. I got pregnant very easily-second try-and miscarried at 6 wks. Then I was pregnant again 4 months later and we had our son. When he turned one, we wanted to start trying again. But here we are, and still, no baby. I am thankful we have had our one child, I know that is alot more than alot of people ever have. I just never knew it would be so heartbreaking when you can’t get pregnant the second time around. If we are ever able to become pregnant and have another baby, I will NEVER take it for granted, I will always be careful about what I say and how I act around others in public and wherever, because there are people out there who are heartbroken and it doesn’t help when you hear people talking about their pregnancies and showing their excitement…I’m not saying we shouldn’t be happy, but I will just be considerate of others because you never know when that person next to you is having trouble getting pregnant. Infertility is so hard to live with. I mean, some people just have all the kids they want and never have to think about it. And here we are trying and trying and hoping and wanting a baby…year after year, so that is on our minds all the time. I don’t want it to be like this for the rest of my childbearing years…I just have to ask God to please help me get over this feeling of wanting another one if it is not meant to be. But I haven’t started feeling like we’re complete yet. I really still hope for our son to have a sibling one day. I know it is all going to be okay, somehow. But it is so hard. I will never look at mothers with babies the same ever again.

  • MyA

    Well Adoption Is Always Good… But To Me It Wouldnt Feel The Same As Having Your Very Own Pregnancy…Besides Like She Said…It Would Take Sum Years To Save The 25,000 plus dollars Just To Adopt. Im Only 20 Yrs Old… Married 2 the Love Of My Life. Hes 26 yrs Old. And We’ve been ttc Since I Was 18…but its hard cuz i have PCOS… Dont Think Nothing Is Wrong Wit MY HUbby Since We Had Gotten Pregnant in 2007 but m/c @ 11 weeks. but Hes Still Going To Do A Sperm Analysis Anyway Pretty Soon …But My Point Was About The Whole TTC And Adoption Thing. I Want My Own Child…I Want to Go Through The Pregnancy And Pain Of HAving A Child No Matter What or How Long iT Takes… If someone thinks we should Adopt Then That Person Needs To Give Us The Money To Do So LOL.

  • Katy

    like many others, who commented I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. I have never used contraception with my husband or before we were married and we never had any close calls, so this always made me think that I was going to have issues gettig pregnant. I was diagnosed as having PCOS and was sent to an IVF specialist. In 2006/07 we went through the process of harvesting our eggs etc, as just having medication – clomid made me produce too many eggs for it to be safe for me to try and conceieve. so we had to go down the IVF path. However the process of harvesting my eggs made me very ill, i suffer from severe migraines and this medication i had to take made me have a migrane for the whole month, i was exhausted, physically ill and was hospitalised due to dehydration and severe pain. When the eggs were taken out they told us it was very successful as they had 26, my husband and i were so excited, then a day later they said 7 didn’t survive but having 19 eggs, having 19 possible babies was amazing. three days later i had to go back into have a fertilised egg put back in, before we went in they asked us to speak with the IVF nurse who informed us that only 3 eggs out of the 19 had survived the last couple of days. My husband and I were silent, we just stared at one another and grabbed each others hands, i know it sounds like we were over reacting but when you think you have so many chances of getting pregnant, and knowing how sick i was to get us to this point, it was like we had lost a part of us. a hard feeling to describe.
    after the egg was put in me, i was admitted back into hospital (migraines) my body just was not in a good place and we should have thought more carefully about it, but that need/desire of wanting to have little you or your husband running around takes over. Obviously we were not successful and after this i went into deep depression, friends were getting pregnant with ease around me, my brother’s girlfriend fell pregnant by accident (and has had another by accident too now), if people were getting pregnant i was last to be told as they didn’t want to upset me, i didn’t want to leave the house and i would get sick all the time, i would cancel friends/family engagements i was meant to go to (my husband would have to go alone alot of the time- i just didn’t want to see anyone happy) and would end up in hospital 2/3 times per year for 2 weeks with migraines.
    i didn’t want to begrudge someone the happiness of being pregnant but i just wanted to share the same experience with them.
    So 2 yrs on I am in a fantastic state of mind, i love my job, i love my nieces and nephews (they have helped the pain, as i have chn in my life, and they love spending time with me and vice versa) and my periods are now regular as before due to the PCOS i was getting them every 3/4 mths. They did an internal ultrasound the other week and they said if they had to give a dagnosis of whether i had PCOS anymore thay would say no- excellent news. So we are back on the wagon (baby making wagon i mean), i have been using that microscope- called Maybe Baby that tells you through your saliva when you are ovulating, and i have been able to pinpoint exactly when i am. However i am 35 and once you turn 35 your chances begin to decrease, we have decided to use our eggs that are left, so we are going through another cycle, but will continue to try naturally, as that part is so much fun…as im sure you all know…I have come to realise that me being not as stressed, being happy with who i am, loving my gorgous husband, enjoying life is going to help rectify the problem and help with the solution. I have a great support group around me….. and i know i am meant to be a mother and if its not naturally i will succeed with other means, possible fostering as the money for adoption would be huge obstacle.
    Kate congrats for writing this article, it really touched me and my prayers and thoughts go out to everyone. Just remember continue to live your life as its so short already….our time will come…it just may not happen the way we planned!!!

  • Christina C

    Just reading this make me understand that what I am going threw is the same..I always wanted to have a child and now that im going to turn 21 I want it more. I started to try and get pregrent when I was 18 yrs old and still cant. My older sister and me suffer from depression and it suck cause it cause us not to be able to get pregrent.. we have to take birth control to be able to have our period.

  • christy

    Kate, I am in the same boat.. trying for almost 2 years nothing.
    I notices this was back in 2007 and I was wondering If you ever got preganant?

  • Emma

    Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who shared on this forum. My husband and I have experienced late-life inferility; we conceived once after a year of trying when I was in my twenties, but could not grow our family biologically once in our thirties. Fertility was something I always took for granted. After years of monthly disappointment, I spiraled into terrible grief, and doctors only shrugged over my husband’s motility issues. Herbal treatments had no effect, and I had horrible reactions to artificial insemination. After years of tears and frustration and heartbreak, on my 40th birthday I gave myself the gift of accepting that which I cannot control. I will always probably feel sadness about that period in my life when I felt such an unfulfilled longing and sorry that my son is an only child and unhappy about it, but have made a conscious effort and decision to thank Heaven for my blessings and move forward, assuming there is another plan for me. Maybe I will focus on worthwhile work. Maybe someday we will adopt. Whatever, I can’t wallow in pain forever.

    I embrace all of you in your pain, and empathize. I know it feels like punishment, or a magic spell that grants some people’s wishes and not others. Rather than baby dust, which came to feel so brutally hopeless after a while, I wish for you what I have come to wish for myself: peace with whatever way it all goes.

  • Renee

    I’ve read so many blogs about infertility. I guess to make me feel better,even though it really doesn’t. I would not wish my situation on any other person. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over two years. Apparently nothing is wrong with me. My husband has low sperm morphology (7% strict). I can’t begin to explain how upsetting it is to go through this. I have been to two doctors now, have had ultrasounds and HSG. I am now on Clomid and the doctor wants to do an IUI. I don’t know whether the doctor thinks this will work or if its like a fertility mill, where they try to get as many procedures done as possible. I feel angry and I do feel as though I have no purpose if I can’t be a mom. The comments made by the men about being selfish are so insulting to me. A woman’s natural drive is to be a mom. I don’t know if I’ll ever be a mom, and this makes me angry and bitter. Hopefully though, this post lets other women know that they are not the only ones going through this.



  • Danielle

    I feel better having read this article and your postings. I havn’t been trying that long (this will be the 4th month) but I feel like its been a life time. My best friend didnt want to get preganaunt until next year but after I started talking about it she started to want to try. She got pregnaunt on her first try and I am still waiting. She is trying to give me advise now. It’s so hard to even talk to her about it. I just want to cry. i’ve always wanted to be a mom and it jsut scares me that it wont be possible and something is wrong with me. I don’t know how to make myself feel better. My prayers are with you all! Danielle

  • nolechic

    Hi Everyone,

    My husband and I have been with each other for 8 years and married for almost 5. I am 30 and he is 35. I finished up grad school almost two years ago and we decided to start trying. We both have good jobs, a nice house, supportive and loving families, each other of course, but we really want a little family of our own.

    I’m a girlie girl and would adore a little girl to play dress up with and paint her nails, and I love football and would enjoy Saturday afternoons on the couch with my son cheering away. I look forward to creating a loving home for our children. I know that my husband will be a great father.

    We have been trying for over a year and a half now. I have had one miscarriage, after 14 months of trying and nothing since. I really am depressed about the whole thing. At first, my husband was really frustrated about us not conceiving and would ask me what was wrong, month after month, he’d say what is wrong why it isn’t happening. I would just tell him to calm down and dismiss it, because honestly, I wasn’t worried about it. Naively, I just thought that it would happen, give it a couple months. We’ve tried everything that he’s read on the internet. I’m taking all kinds of vitamins and so is he. I’m still not pregnant. Now, he’s calm about it and has resigned himself to telling me that it will happen when it happens and I’m the one flipping out month after endless month.

    I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, ‘one day’, well that day came and went long ago and I’m no closer to that dream at all. My husband went to a fertility clinic and had his little swimmers tested and everything with him came back pretty much normal. I have an appointment with my GYN in October. Hopefully, everything will come back normal for me too. My mother didn’t conceive me until she was 32 and then had my two brothers later, finishing up her trio at 37. So genetically, I really didn’t think that I’d have a problem. I do have hypothyroidism, but none of my doctors have talked to me about how that would impact pregnancy or the lack there of. I’m so frustrated! I have officially become one of those women who only think about having a baby, morning, noon and night. Hence, how I stumbled onto your blog which has been extremely comforting and interesting to read.

    Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences and giving others hope. Good luck everyone!

  • Emily

    Great article, very encouraging. My hubby and I have been trying for 4 months with no success. I am really trying not to stress about it. 🙁 Easier said than done.

    I would absolutely love to adopt…but like your article said, we don’t have the money and waiting 5+ years would be torture.

    I hope you become pregnant soon! 🙂


  • gaye

    hi Kate
    Firstly Jeff you are a cretin as far as i’m concerned. Do you have kids, if not is you or your partner’s problem? You obviously have no idea of the ‘need’ women have for wanting children.
    righto off my soap box!
    We had been married for 8 years and didn’t want kids then suddenly, one day (literally) we changed our minds. We had our own successful business (a lot of stress and long hours)The day after we sold our business we ‘celebrated’ 9 months later we had alovely little girl. She will be 3 in october.
    We have been trying for the past 3 years to have another…… apparently there is nothing wrong with either of us. According to the doctors i have secondary infertility which is quite common but not talked about much.
    we have spent over $50000 in ivf & ai procedures in the 3 years.
    I know we are very very lucky to have our daughter, but sometimes i actually resent her for causing this issue.
    I have recently heard about hypnosis for relieving stress associated with infertility.
    Well i am going to give it a go, at the very least i hope it makes me lose the urge to have another child so i can literally get on with my life, rather than be controlled by 2-3 days each month.
    good luck and all the best for the future Kate, and thanks for your letter.

  • Rosie

    Susan God loves you try to love yourself and the rest will follow!

  • t

    I understand i amd 32 my husbands 6 years younger we have been married for 4 years no baby, everyone around me is getting pregnant both my mother and sister got pregnant while getting de-virginized, just that simple for them. 2 ladies that work with me all of us started discussing getting pregnant and how cool it would be if we were all pregnant at the same time the very next month within days of each other both of them were pregnant and i am the oldest of the 2. Sucks for me, and the worst thing to hear is “when are you going to have a baby your not getting any younger!” As if i don’t know that my husband whom i love so much is so optimistic but i really hate to hear these words every month “we’ll get him next time babe!” i just want to scream my period comes like clock work and always has i’ve tried ovulating kits only tried egg yoke once my next step is the fertility specialist. I try not to think about it so much that it ruins my day, but i know in the bible some of the best men came from woman who were barren, and since there is nothing new under the sun i just continue to look toward the hills from whene cometh all of my help God Bless you ladies keep praying!!!

  • Nichole

    Mandy, I agree with you 110%. Just got home from a baby shower for a 19 year old, unmarried, no job, living in a crappy trailer. Why is she able to get pregnant and not me? I’m 28, happily married for 6 years, have a brand new beautiful home, financially stable – why can’t we get pregnant? TTC for almost 2 years and am now turning to traditional chinese medicine since we have had no luck with fertility drugs and can’t afford a $25,000 adoption or $15,000 IVF especially when that’s not a guarantee you’ll get pregnant. Anyway, it’s good to know I’m not the only one even though it sure feels that way.

  • Mandy

    I just want to say THANK YOU for writing this. I’m about 7 months into the process and have had zero luck. I look at everyone who is pregnant with complete disdain. I cry, I get mad, I lash out at the people I love the most. I feel useless and like a failure. I can’t understand why young girls at age 14 are getting pregnant but women like me who are emotionally and financially ready to have children cannot get pregnant. I’m mad, I’m sad, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I also can no longer tolerate the question, “So when are you guys going to have kids?” Do people not realize how insulting that question can be? They just take for granted their ability to get pregnant on the first try. Anyway, thank you for expressing my feelings. I don’t feel quite so alone now.

  • Karen

    After reading a majority of the stories/comments posted on here….I can see that I feel the same way the a majority of the woman feel. I just recently got off birth control pill ….and I’ve been on it for 4 years… mainly because I was still in school and because I had horrible menstrual cramps the required me to stay at home. I’m 25 years old… the woman in my family are baby makers. My grandmother (mom’s mom) had 7 children and my dad’s mom had 5 children. Recently, my younger cousin who is only 19 but had a baby at 18 years old. I never really wanted a kid because I was scared that I would not be a good mom… but after seeing several of my cousins have babies and being able to hold them made me crave for a child of my own… I just got recently married back in October 2008…but held off on kids because I just recently started working as a registered nurse on grave yard…. I guess my job doesn’t really help especially since its so stressful trying to care for someone else’s health/life….its come to the point I’ve been so depressed that I had to quit. I’m currently trying to look for another job in my field that isn’t as stressful….but I can truly feel what so many other women have felt….the jealousy I have every time I see people hold their baby…..looking at how the father just adores their child as they hold them in their arms…. for a few years now….i have been so jealous of my husband’s cousin’s wife….who got pregnant while they were only dating for 2 months….i wanted a baby then….but I had school and thought it would be hard …. my husband’s cousin eventually married her….and she got pregnant a month after the wedding….and now that we’re trying to have a baby….i feel its so hard….and i get so devastated everytime I see the (-) sign…..I know we’ve only been trying for a couple of months….but so far…I just feel so miserable and so stressed trying to get pregnant…sometimes I feel that maybe I shouldn’t want it so much…..then maybe GOD will grant me a wish of having a healthy baby….at one point of my life….I always wanted to have a baby boy…but now, I don’t care what gender it is as long as I can have a healthy baby to hold in my arms out of the love me and husband created…..I have been with my husband since I was 18 years old and he had always wanted kids since we were together…but I put it off to finish school and get a career…I’ve even started praying every night to ask GOD for the blessing that I so want and that many other people already have… and yes…I have come to the part that always ask my self, “WHY them and NOT me???”….but I guess its really TOO early to say it when we’ve only tried for a couple of months… the hardest part that makes me so miserable is that my husband is in the military so he’s always gone for weeks…and he’ll be gone for 6-7 months starting in September 2009 for his overseas deployment. So I cry, get depressed, and thinking….I have to wait… its gotten so bad that I don’t want to even live anymore because of the pain it causes every day seeing how others are so happy to hold their precious baby….and I just have to put a smile at their little one when in fact deep inside my heart it is breaking into little pieces and I can’t wait to go home to cry….

  • jessica

    wow its great to know that there is another women out there with the exact same story as me.currently my period is running extremely late which never happens to me..NEVER. and so finally after 3 yrs i got my hopes up and was so excited and i took a pregnancy test today…and again another negitive…lord help me now all i can do is cry.me and my fiance want so badly to start a family and be happy but unfortunately it doesnt look as though god has wrote that any where in my future.and its hurts so bad to have seen the look on my fiance’s face earlier when i told him that it was negitive…he couldnt say anything he just went to bed and went to sleep…nothing more…so that leaves me with the question if he will still want to be with a women who cannot provide him with a family?

  • leann

    I totally am in ur shoes Im 21 and have had 3 miscarrages and a tubeable pregnancy I only have one tube left and I have been told i will never have kids and it sucks all I want more then anything is to have a family and raise children, and I dont belive its selfish to want your own kids and yes I understand that there are many kids who need a home but its sooo different when you want your own… I would do anything to be able to have a baby… But I guess in Gods time I will never give up my dream of being a mother I have been through a lot but I will push foward

  • meicha

    Thank you for writing that I do know how you feel. I’ve had to go to my own sisters baby shower. I just do not want to, because she get what I want more than anything. I understand, I just feel so bad for feeling that way I should be happy for her but I cnt…I

  • priya

    u said my story..this is what exactly am going through…thank you ..u hav make me feel better

  • Azni

    Dear Kate,

    Your story almost the same with me. I’m 27.I got married almost 2 years. I’m struggled TTC since we have been married for 6 months. I put a lot of effort in to it. Everytime
    If I heard something that is possible to get me possibly pregnant. I also try and go for it. I spent a lot of money to buy supplement, fertility massage, and doctor consultation.
    I’m a teacher and most worst recently is most of the teachers and staff in my school get pregnant. It looks like they get ‘pregnant infectious’ in our school.because there are about 16 person get pregnant.5-6 person in already deliver. but I’m the only one left still waiting to get pregnant.
    I feel so stress,shame don’t want to see others.I don’t know what to do.but still hope to get a baby.

  • Nicole

    I know this post is years old but I just have to comment. I am a 20 year old soon to be 21 year old, me and my boyfriend have been having unprotected sex for 2.5 years now. My only desire is to have a baby, but I haven’t got pregnant once. I’m too scared and ashamed to go to a doctor, or to even tell my boyfriend I have infertility issues. I think he might know its infertility but I just want him to think I’m on birth control. I’m so afraid he would leave me if I told him I don’t know why I can’t conceive. I have thought about being pregnant for the past year, every day, I pray constantly. I haven’t told a single soul about my infertility problem, and finally I stumble upon this website. I feel SO much better to know I’m not alone, reading all your stories gives me hope and makes me feel less ashamed. I’m so scared I’ll never be able to have a baby, I love my boyfriend so much I just want to give him a beautiful baby. He wants one so bad, a year or two ago my period was late and we thought I was pregnant. He was so ecstatic he was ready to go buy prenatal vitamens and everything. Then my period came and it crushed me. I think about infertility all the time, I too feel the same mess of emotions you all feel. I feel like my boyfriend deserves a baby and I can’t give that to him… it kills me. Everytime we have sex I pray to God a miracle will happen and I will get pregnant. In the past I would always get so excited right before my period cause I thought I finally conceived. The bloating, nausea and tender breasts used to fool me, actually it was probably just wishful thinking. Sometimes in my mind I would even pretend I was pregnant, it made me happy for a split second… then reality set in. I can’t talk to anyone about this, I feel better just confessing to strangers in some random online blog. Most of the time I feel like God is punishing me. I hate even being around babies, I know that sounds horrible, but it’s a slap in the face to me.

  • tishi

    updates? did Kate have a baby?
    did anyone else that posted? is there any positive

  • Heather Nicole

    I am so sorry to hear all the stories and disappointment in your words. I, too, am reciently married and have the urge to enter into motherhood. I have heard my share of the “when it happens it happens” and the ” you should take this time for you and your hubby” lines, but the truth is, it sucks! waiting every month NOT to get your period( then you do), having your husband not understand how it makes you feel like a useless vessle, wanting to tell the world “I’m pregnant!” but never being able to. It truely hurts. So now, after having unprotected sex for over a year and a half and not concieving, i finally understand that this is a big issue for women everywhere. And it is very comforting to have a place to come and read stories of hope, help, and success. Thank you so much Kate and all the other men and women who have had the courage to tell your stories.

  • gemma

    Hi kate, just noticed you have nt commented in a while, hows it going? Just like most people commenting, i too have been trying for a year now and my best friend who only just started trying caught on first time! I was happy and sad at the same time. Its really getting me down now, and my husband tels me to stop thinking about it and it will happen but thats just impossible. My friend and i always said we would lve to have kids at te same time so who knows? Maybe it will happen soon so we can have our children together. I just dont want it to take much longer because when i set my mind on something i do it,but trying to conceive is just out of my hands. To all couples(and myself) i hope it happens soon and things do happen for a reason, as hard as it is to believe. Keep trying and good luck, i know i need it. Best wishes kate.

  • Moriya


    I totally understand your desires, feelings and even determination. My husband and I have only been married for 2 years, but together for 5. I am several years older than him and find myself focusing many times on teh few years before I hit the 40 year old mark….. I know that there are many things that can be done for women pregnant and over 40, but I want what I want and I really want it now!!!!

    My hubsnd and I actually concieved in Dec. 08, but I went for my ultrasound in Jan. 09 and found that I had what the doctors call a “FALSE PREGNANCY”, this means that there was a fertalized egg, but no fetus ever formed… I have been desprate to become pregnant ever since, with absolutely no sucess.

    Everyone tells you to quick worrying, It will happen when it happens and the best one as soon as you quite trying you’ll become pregnant……. Well I don’t and can’t worrying or forget about it. It is much to important for me to be able to have my own babies…. Adoption at this point is not an option, due to my husband’s epilepsy!

    So what else are we supposed to do now…… You know it really upsets me when people who had no problems getting preganant give you advice I just want to tell them PLEASE SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!

    I wish you and your husband the best of luck and may the baby fairies be on your side……

  • Sarah

    I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to how you feel. Everything I read, I thought…..that’s exactly how I feel! My husband and I have been trying for 15 months…and it is so hard to keep getting my period. We were high school sweethearts and I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I’m 27 now and not getting any younger. We have been ready for a family for 3 years, but wanted to wait to pay off some debt….now I wish we would have just started trying because we obviously would have had enough time to pay off the debt anyway! I see this was written 2 years ago….did you have any luck?? Adoption??

  • Sara

    I have gone through all the emotions talked about in this article. It is almost like a story written from my life. I am lucky because I can share these feelings with my husband and he also has them but we try to work through the feelings together.

    Too the people who are commenting: There doesn’t have to be logic behind feelings. She was writing what has been going on in her life. Be nice.

    Thanks for this great article.

  • Lyndi Oakley

    I understand the emotions you are going through. My husband and I have been trying for 5 years now, with no success. I feel that God puts that desire in a woman to have children and no one can take that away. And sometime I have asked God, why did you put that desire in me and then not give me children. Then I realize, it’s in His time, not mine, and more and more, we are feeling that adoption is the way He is wanting us to go. There are plenty of children out there that don’t have families and just imagine how great a parent you would be, b/c you have wanted children for so long! Your state may have an agency like Childrens Services or something, and usually the adoption is free through them. Might be worth checking into! We will praying that God shows you what He wants you to do!

  • Ashley

    me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years… since november 2008 we have been having unprotected sex. we have sex almost everyday and although we are not planning on having a child yet why am i not gettin pregnant?

  • Brittney

    I found this to be extremely helpul. I am in the same position as you are. I have always wanted to be a mother and my husband and I have been married for almost three years as well. I have so many friends and family members that are pregnant as well and I also have felt jelous and also angry as well, although I am happy for them. Thank you for making me feel that I am not alone.

  • Mya

    Thank you. I am just realizing, coming to terms with the inability to get pregnant and I have never felt grief like this. Thank you for putting voice to my pain and helping validate these feelings of desperation.

  • catherine castillo

    i have 10 year old son but until now i am not getting pregnant i want to get pregnat again pls. help my husband sperm when i stand i draft his sperm



  • Jess

    Thank you for your honesty in such a horrible process. My husband and I have been going through the same thing and asking the same question…Why me?

    I will be sending thoughts your way and will be pleased and happy when you do say those words…I am pregnant, even if I am not. Although, I have the same feelings you do we can still appreciate life. It is the only thing that can keep me sane, to know that others that struggle have the joy I so desire.

    Hang in there! I am confident that one day you will be a mother.

    On a side note, have you ever looked into IVF in other countries? It is significantly less than it is here in the states, like $4500. Just a thought!

  • amanda

    i heard the law of attraction helps. it says its impossible to want something so bad and recieve it, you must detatch ur self from wanting it, stop trying and it will happen, buy the book called THE SECRET BY RHONDA BYRNE theres also a website for the secret and its great. anyone trying for a baby needs to look up the law of attraction andgetting pregnant , thats y you hear of ppl getting pregnant without trying, let me know if it works for u it did for my sister amanda buff. please try it i promise you.

  • lisa

    i have been trying for ages but now i have given up its hurting me too much

  • Ana

    i should mention that my cycle is normal…every 28 or 29 days…never skipped one month…so how could this be..it’s definitely not my husband because just before me met his his high school girlfriend got pregnant for him…he has a beautiful daughter with her.

  • Ana

    hi everyone…i truly understand each and everyone of you…i’m 26, my husband is 27 and we have been together since i was 18 we have never used any form of contraceptive and i’m yet to get pregnant. I’ve never been to a doctor because i want to conceive naturally….i just wanted to share my story with everyone….i wish all of you lots of luck and hope you all can find peace within….lots of love.

  • Julie

    Thank you very much for this article. My husband and I have crossed the “11 months and still trying” phase. I’ve gone through all of the same emotional turmoil you have. My sister, whose husband had a vasectomy reversal (and he’s 11 years older than her), got pregnant two months into trying just using OPKs. My co-worker got pregnant one month after casually remarking to me, “Yeah, we’re just to to start trying and see what happens.”
    I’ve done everything the doctors have asked me to do — chart, take my temperature, pee on more sticks than I care to count and pay for…
    Just a word of advice to all of the wonderful people out there who support and love women like us — whether you are friends, colleagues, or co-workers. The best thing you can do is pray for us or just give us a chance to vent and release all of the garbage we’re feeling day to day. The worse advice I’ve ever been given either involved someone telling us to take a vacation, to quit trying so hard, or to just get drunk and see what happens. When you feel one of your many purposes in life is to be a parent, you are going to pursue it as hard as any other dream in your life.
    I have my first appointment with an infertility specialist next week. We’ll see how it goes.

    Thank again.

  • Rael

    I have been trying for two years now we have 9 year old daughter and we would like to have another baby I have done a laporascopy and all is well. I have tried Clomid and Gonal-F without success. I have what the doctor explained as unexplained infertility. But i have not given up i will keep trying.

  • July

    I can completely relate to this post.
    I am 33 years old and have been ttc for 4 months now … am frustrated each month when my period comes on and the anxiety before it does is almost unbearable … Sex life has become , but a joke, as it is so mechanical now. I think my relationship with my husband is seriously getting hampered as a result of this stress . Not that he blames me for anything and is infact very very supportive, but I hate to see the disappointment on his face each month when my period comes on.
    I feel like a failure and am losing confidence about everything else in my life as well. I feel as though things will never go my way because I was out on this earth by god to suffer and be miserable.

    I have realised that no matter what I do to try and cheer myself up (New clothes, holidays, even a new car!) doesn’t work because the only thing I want from my life right now is a baby of my own.

    I am going to pray for all of us here … hope things eventually work out for us … All I need to know is that there is a light at the end of this tunnel ….

  • California

    I feel like a diabetic watching everyone celebrate that they can eat a bowl full of ice cream when I go to a baby shower, babtism or birthday party. Sometimes I feel like my infertility is a punishment for my past. I know its me because my
    ex-husband and his new wife conceived immediately after he remarried. Prior to my current marriage, my ex and I tried for three years. We eventually divorced and I told myself “It wasn’t meant to be.” I am so happy with my husband. We laugh, we live. But I feel this huge gaping void. It hurts more when I check my mailbox at work and it seems like there’s always an invite for a baby shower. Or my huband’s 2nd cousin who is 15 and pregant. Agh, the fight that errupted when I told my husband I didn’t want to go to the shower. Or the constant psycho OCTOMOM headlines (talk radio, tabloids @ the check out, evening news, even NPR a few times). Oh, and OCTOMOM lives in the neighboring city!! Wait here;s the kicker, my husband’s brother knocked up another woman (while married with 3 girls 10, 12, and 14) out of wedlock and yes, the baptism is this Saturday. Thanks for letting me vent. On the plus side there is hope. My friend adopted a baby through the county agency(Los Angeles). With the exception of the parenting classes (time) there was relatively NO COST. This beautiful baby was abandoned by a very courageous woman who gave birth and took hime to a fire station. I say courageous because she could have easily dumped him in a dumpster (google the USC student who did just that).
    Thanks again. Whew, I feel better!

  • Lucy

    Hi to everyone who is going through the same thing as me! Me & my partner have been trying for 2 years now & awaiting test results on our fertility. I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember & waited years to find the right man who wanted the same things as me. In the meantime all my friends who were single & in bad relationships kept falling pregnant without even trying. I have always been the doting auntie, happy to babysit at the drop of a hat & loved spending time with everyone elses children but longed for one of my own. All I can say is that when it does eventually happen for me (I keep the faith it will), it will be so much more special because I have waited do long & will cherish every moment spent with my child/children. Hope it happens for you all too, keep strong & good luck. xx

  • pain

    there is no single day when people dont remind me being infertile. my dr. told me to forget abt conceiving as it gives more stress abt cant help thinking abt it. i hve undergone a surgery, above all husband no longer attracted towards me, how do i help myself. i want my husband to love me the way he used to b4. living with family is another pain as people around me are more depressed then me, they ask me evry mth i missed churms or not, its really sick. my parents are growing older and want to see my kid and play with it b4 they die, so many expectation. lots of comparisions btwn me and other fertile women in family. i was the one who was most beautiful and my inlaw side always appreciated me for my good conduct but my this limitation has brought me no where.,

  • pain

    i m 30 6 mths elder to my husband
    we are married for 5 yrs
    i m infertile
    medications have made my look fat n tension has increased my age
    my husband loves me but not attracted to me
    when we go out for shopping or eating out i see him staring at good looking girls
    its very painful

  • mother in waiting

    hello,laides i know what its like im married for6yrs had an etopic pregnancy4yrs agotube was remove other one block im believe in total healing to concieve ladies just know inspite of you are wonderful an fearfully made by god read first samuel cp1

  • Mary

    I was married for 8 years and didn’t have a baby with him..thank god because I didn’t wanted to have a kid with him. anyway I went to a doctor and do a lot of tests becuase it was weird that after a lot of years I couldn’t get pregnant. all the test were fine..even the doctor told me that he wishes that he had a body and healthy as mine. Anyway I got divorce and I met this amazing man who I really want to have a baby with.. I’ll be 34 may 31th and I’ve been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now. He’s already a father from his previous marriage. My mother gave birth to me at 25 a year after she got married and I have a lot of friends that have kids already. Even by best friend have 4 kids and she get’s pregnant by only looking at her. Some people told me to forget that I’m trying to get pregnant, or release tension, eat better, take pills.. a lot of things. Some say that stress causes that I don’t get pregnant. I knwo people with the same thyroid condition that I have and they have babies.. so you’re not alone…I told my boyfriend that if I don;’t get pregnant by the time I get 35 I won’t think of having babies… I don’t want to be too old if I get pregnant…I dream about babies all the time and it’s sad for me.

  • allison

    hi i have one child she is 12years i have been trying for another one about 5years now but no luck so in a way i know how you feel like one person say i will be praying for us and all who need it and do not give keep trying.good luck

  • Amanda

    My husband and I never really knew if we wanted kids. We have been 11 years and always used bc. I worried I might regret not having children one day. But never felt any ‘urges’. I would always hear people talking about. Then unexpectanrly a few months ago I became pregnant I went from I never want kids to completely attached in one day. We were so excited made plans. All the doubts and anxiety about having a child inro our busy complex livrs vanished because the baby was all that mattered. I felt like I had been admitted to an exclusive club I suddenly longed to join anyway I miscarried and could not believe the overwheing loss and greif. I now understand the desperation many feel to concieve. We started trying two months ago and it is so terrifying. I don’t know how to not think about it constantly. I barter with God, I am practically superstious over trying to recreate the set of circumstances that got me pregnant in the first place. I am a very practical and logical person, or was. I feel like I have suddenly become this biologically clock driven 30something. It is so surpeising because i just never saw this primative yearning/drive as anything I would experience. I used to be quite grossed by the pregnancy thing. I have so much compassion for all you trying. I don’t know how years of this does not make you crazy. My cycle is due to start tomorrow I am obsessed with monitoring myself for signs of pregnancy- wish me best of luck. I have agreed I will allow myself to take a preg test in two days if no bleeding. If I get prey again I will be terrified about another mc. Seems like wording doesn’t stop once you decide to become a mommy. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this! I am a bit nostalgic for my life before I developed the desparate desire to become pregant. My bestfriend is 8 weeks pregnant (unplanned) and she feels guilty about my feelings of hurt loss and being left out. She reassures me preg feels terrible and I am lucky. Believe me all that makes it worse. My husband is excited for a baby but Is looking forward to months of trying. I think my emotional rollercoaster is going to derail soon! I can cry at the drop of a hat. Previous important things have lost meaning. My life is upside down. Yet I’m really trying to not complain. Honest. It’s just that all these new very powerful emotions. Instinct hormon driven emotions are so surprising to me. Thank you all for reading and for kind thoughts/prayers. I am sending all who are activley trying arm loads of baby dust

  • Amanda

    Hi this is my first time posting and I’m a little shy

  • Minnie

    I am 37 with a 12yo boy. I been ttc for over a year and is my 3rd month with the ovulation kit. I do have intercourse prior to ovulation and after to be on the safe side. I know how many of you feel. Do not give up and keep trying but in the mid time enjoy the pleasures of you and your partner… Good luck to all of you !!!!

  • to Laila,
    Please tell me what is a Pre-Seed??????? Im dying to know it and try for my self…..Please…please…please….

  • I’m glad to say that I gave birth when I was 33.My husband&I was so blessed when I gave birth to a baby boy.After 3 years we planned for another one but unfortunately nothings happen.NOW that I am 40 I do pray a lot to have another child.I know God only says that be patient,time will come.

  • Jennifer

    I just took a pregnancy test and again it’s negative. I couldn’t stop crying. I’m single and trying to have a baby on my own. It costs so much money each month to try and I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. the clinic is shutting down in July and August for the summer (hey it’s Canada why should they care about their patients hopes and fears? They’ll get paid no matter what!) I wish I had the money to go to a clinic in the States, they’re not state run so they actually care about keeping their patients happy.



  • Gg

    Like wise , we are hoping to get conceive since the last 1 year. I have my first baby born in 2007 , May 17 . She was infected by a bacterial and passed away in Feb 2008 . My husband and I were so sad and since then we keep trying and no news until now. Well, I would like to encourage myself and all of you who are having ambition with us : Never give up ! As what the doctor told me : It’s not your luck yet.

  • juliet

    you are all so young at your age, and still have a lot of hopefull years of waiting to do to have a baby. Me I’m already 41 and still hoping that our Dear Lord will shower me and my husband blessings to have babies. I’m married for almost 5 years and yet we still don’t have babies. Goodluck to all of us. Hope sooner or later all our dreams will come true.

  • Cress

    Hi all,
    i know this aint one of the easiest roads in life, and all sorts of feelings will come your way as you travell down it,
    but i am happy coz we are not left without a promisse from God, look up to God and He alone will see you through this tougth and trying moments. claim God’s promisse that says that children are a gift from God and the fruit of the Womb his reward, God is able yes He is more than able to give you children no matter your age or circumstance. God is able…

  • rasha

    Dear Laila;
    What is “pre-seed”?could you tell us more about it and how could we get it?

  • Kelly

    Did I miss something – in Kate’s profile it reads: “Kate can be found at home with her baby daughter, already filling her little head with music and movie quotes and trivia.” Did she conceive or adopt? Good for her!

  • Laila Jaafar

    Dear Kate,

    I’m 28 years old woman. I know EXACTLY what you’re going through, as for me I spent like 2 years and a couple of months before getting preganant.

    I tried everything you can imagine, I did evey test the doctors told me about, (two failed IUI and all the tests) they told me you have “unexplained infertility”. I was going for IVF next September.

    Until one day, when I discovered “pre-seed” :)))))

    I don’t know whether you heard about it or not. It’s an intimate moisturiser that helps sperms to live longer. I heard many stories about it, but I couldn’t believe them, until one day I said: Why not let’s give it a try??

    The first month I was very anxious, putting high hopes but it didn’t work for me.

    The next month I said: OK, since it won’t harm let’s do it.

    Then I missed my PMS, I couldn’t believe it!!!
    I thought it was hormonal changes or something.

    Then I did home pregnancy test to come as positive :))))))))))))

    So, if you haven’t tried this, just give it a try on ovulation days for 6 months or something and don’t be stressed out please while trying (I know it’s hard, I’ve been through this myself)

    Baby dust to you and wishing you all the best.




  • Jasmin

    WOW! Kate. I just can’t believe all this time passed and people are still commenting on ur blog, hope all is well. And I too am in the same situation. But I try everyday really hard to keep my head up and put all of itl in gods hands. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. But 1 question it is April of 2009. Can we get an update. Have u had any kids yet? Thanks fir ur wonderful heart warming story nice to know I’m not the only one out there with this issue. Keep on touch!!

  • benette

    i always say my favorite verse in jeremiah 29:11 and say this prayer when depression for not having a baby attacks me.
    “In the name of the Father,the Son and the Holy Spirit.

    to all readers of this,hope this coullp you too!
    thank you and GOD Bless Us All!

  • benette

    i really get depressed,if someone will ask me how many kids do Ihave now?why i dont have kids yet?and saying blablabla,i also come from a family of baby machines,my work is teaching kids at school,then my husband and I also fostered my sister 4 kids ages 9.8.7 and 4.she worked abroad,and her husband died when her eldest was 5y.o.you know my works very stressfull,then when i come home from school,i have to tutor the kids,attend their needs etc.but i love to do do these things,because i love them.but there are times,i want to scream because sometimes kids are very noisy,i cant relax after a whole days work+misunderstanding with my sister because of financial problem,you see,i have low salary and so my husband.what makes me more depressed,i worries a lot,i know time will come my sister will get all her children from us,only me and my
    husband will be left.how lonely we will be,thats why ireally prayed hard that GOd will grant us a healthy child of our own.hope,you will pray for me too!I’ll just want to share my favorite passage in the bible:
    “i know the plans I have for you,plan for your welfare not for harm says the Lord,to give you hope with future”jeremiah 29:11

    then i would like to share this prayer too,I copied this from my favorite magazine(kerygma)for my spiritual growth, it goes:
    “In the name of the father,the Son and the Holy Spirit.

  • benette

    hi to all,i am 32,married for 6 years,like you,difficult to get pregnant,i have pcos,diagnosed since 2004 then my coming to the doctor were on and off,cause of financial problem,then now i consulted a doctor again,then i found out that i am diabetic,i am now taking the medicines she prescribed me,following religiously the dos and donts,after taking provera,i had my period,and she told me when will be my fertile days,and when to make love,but i didnt get pregnant,so,my ob doubled the dosage of provera + ovamit,i had my period again but still i ddnot get pregnant,then she prescribed me again the provera,this time single dosage again,and the clomid,(double the price of the ovamit)but nit was useless,cause i ddnot have my period,and she instructed me to take the clomid on the second day of my period,she requested me a transvaginal u/s,the result was again bilateral poycystic ovaries,hyperechoic endometrium .o6 cm,she just told me we’l just wait for my period to come,she didnot prescribed me meds anymore,and told me that the mitformin,has no effect on me yet.well just have to wait when?what meds can cure PCOS?why cant i take provera again?ive been taking metformin since november 2008,up to the present.