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Can’t Get Pregnant? Update from the Author

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On May 25, 2007 I published one of my first articles at Blogcritics. It was a very personal piece called "Can’t Get Pregnant? You are Not Alone", detailing my nearly three-year struggle to get pregnant. It was one of the very first things I wrote for BC and I could not, for the life of me, figure out why I felt so compelled to write about something that I had not even really talked about with friends.

After dumping my frustrations very unceremoniously onto paper (okay, it was my computer, but that just does not sound as poetic, does it?), I read back through and realized it had been quite cathartic for me. It seemed awful to say that when I had taken my 30th negative pregnancy test it seemed very hard to be excited for a friend who was having a baby shower; but it was true, and I knew I could not be the only one feeling that way.

Very nervously I posted my article (one of the few I published that I did not share with my family or friends) and was surprised when comments started being posted right away. I was very surprised, in those first few days, at how polarizing an issue it turned out to be. I was even a little hurt when a few readers called me selfish for being so single-mindedly set on wanting a child in today’s world.

Moreover, though, I was shocked by how many responses the article received from women just like me. I suppose I should not have been, as the article was meant to tell other women who were having trouble conceiving that they were not the only ones out there.

Now, over 19 months and 129 comments later, I would like to take the opportunity to provide an update to my story.

At the time the article was written I had just been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. PCOS is a hormonal disorder that affects between five and seven percent of women, is one of the leading causes of infertility, and is characterized by abnormal ovulation. Shortly after being diagnosed I went through several rounds of an ovulation stimulation drug called Clomid, which is a very common treatment for infertility. After six unsuccessful rounds, my doctor referred me to a fertility specialist at the University of North Carolina Hospital at Chapel Hill.

I sat with this doctor for a very long time, becoming more and more discouraged as he reminded me that I was young and had plenty of time to get pregnant before age was a factor (I was 27 at the time). While I knew this was true, I had been ready for a child for well over two years and even one more round seemed like too long to wait.

We discussed several tests, exploratory surgery, and in vitro fertilization, although the latter was not something my husband and I wished to pursue. If I was unable to get pregnant through oral medications alone, we planned to pursue the lengthy process of adoption.

All of those expensive and time-consuming options were to be a last resort, my doctor explained. First he wanted me to try another medication by the name of Femara. He explained that Femara was newly being used as a fertility drug and that it had its origins in treating women who were postmenopausal and suffering from early-stage breast cancer. The hormones, though, also served to stimulate ovulation in premenopausal women.

He was the first to admit that he did not have high hopes because Clomid had not been successful for me, but it was worth trying and would only waste another three months if it did not work. Willing to try anything, I jumped on board.

I took Femara for the first time in July of 2007, following a strict schedule of pills (which always induced vomiting). Twenty-one days after my first round I was asked to have a blood test. On vacation in Wilmington, North Carolina, I took a day off from beach lounging and trudged into town to a lab. Expecting nothing, I was shocked when a week later my doctor called to tell me that my blood work showed that I had ovulated – something that had never happened with Clomid. Several weeks after that I was told to take a pregnancy test whether I thought I had conceived or not. This was to be my tried and true schedule during my three treatments.

I took my second round of Femara in November 2007. Again I took my blood tests and when December 3, 2007 rolled around I nearly forgot I had been instructed to take a pregnancy test. I grudgingly took the test early that Monday morning and then did some chores and almost forgot that I had even taken it. Twenty minutes later I saw it lying on the bathroom counter and snatched it up, already prepared to toss it in the trashcan and mentally preparing not to care about the negative result.


I stared at the digital word for what seemed like a long time but what was probably only a few seconds, as those things usually go. I remember very distinctly wondering where the word ‘not’ was and then shaking the stick several times like that memorable scene in Juno, although that film had yet to be released.

After that the next few hours were a blur. I called my family physician and begged for an appointment to confirm. As accommodating as they usually are, they fit me right in. Only a minute or so after peeing on a stick the nurse came in and told me she had never had a urine test come up so overwhelming positive so quickly. I’m pretty sure I cried for a few minutes like the complete girl that I am.

Later that day I saw my OB/GYN and had my first ultrasound of what at the time looked like a tiny pea in there. My husband, of course, was thrilled.

I would love to say here that the pregnancy was wonderful and I glowed the whole time, but the reality is that I started having severe morning sickness right around Christmas and I pretty much looked like death. “Morning,” I learned, is a relative term, because I was sick pretty much 18 hours a day. I threw up nearly every hour on the hour from the time I woke up until the time I went to sleep. I ate exclusively frozen juice popsicles and chicken broth and the occasional green apple. I kept pretty much none of that down.

Once I had to have fluids for dehydration and I missed almost two and a half total months of work. This lasted well past the magic date when morning sickness is supposed to ebb away and well into my second trimester. All told, in the first 24 weeks of my pregnancy I lost over 20 pounds. Then, with an appetite like I was growing several babies (although in reality it was only one), I more than made up for it, gaining back just over 35.

My husband and I decided not to find out the sex of our baby, and on July 24, 2008 our little girl arrived a little over two weeks early after fourteen hours of labor. She was perfect and healthy and is now just over five-months-old and a firestorm of activity, rolling all over the living room and terrorizing the dog and cats.

I would like to say it was an easy journey, but it was not. But I can say, for every one of you out there in this same situation, I know how hard it is to have it not happen. And I also know how amazing it is when it does. I hope that those of you who are struggling take hope from this. Perhaps you will learn something you didn’t already know and can ask your doctor for more information. I wish you the best of luck and thank you all for the support you lent.

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About Kate C. Harding

  • maskay

    Congratulations!! Thank you for the update. I’m happy that both you and the baby are doing well.

  • Amy

    Congratulations! I also have PCOS but was able to get pregnant without drugs. For those women who want to try a more natural approach before Clomid and other drugs I suggest following Dr. Nancy Dunne’s Book, A Diet Solution for PCOS and Infertility. It basically is a low glycemic diet and you avoid, sugar, gluten and dairy. I also had been taking the Insulite PCOS System when I got pregnant. I credit Insulite, my diet and a strict exercise program. I am due in two weeks!

  • Hiswiifey

    I was so inspired by your story, and yes i am in the same situation i feel so hopeless and every time i hear a story like yours it gives me a little hope and faith that maybe one day i will have a happy endind like yours but it hasnt happened yet. I dont have normal periods like other women. Also my best friend is to pregnet and i havent even been there for her i am so mad at her i know its not her fault it havent had any kids but i am just so jelous i feel as if i cant be happy for her. I have never looked into all the medications or anything like that i thought there was nothing i could do well i wish you and your child the best and thanks for listing….

  • Mrs C

    Thank you very much for being brave enough to publish your story. You have covered all the emotions I feel as my husband continue to try for our first child. Its only 7 months so far, but feels like forever. I’m 37, so that doesn’t help. Anyway, we’re working with an RE now so we’ll see.

    Thanks again and I’m so happy for you. 🙂

  • Miri

    The happy ending to your story made me cry – with happiness for you, with hope for me, and with a bit of envy too. We have been trying for a year and I am trying to get my head around the idea that it may never happen for us. I am in my mid-thrities so don’t have quite as many years left as you did when you first started trying! Your story gives me hope though.

  • samantha

    Congrats for ur baby….I wish i could get pregnant too,It’s been 8 years that I can’t get pregnant though i haven’t tried any methods at all.I’m 23 yrs old and since the age of 15 I started living with my Husband,ever since we’ve try but haven’t i know one day it will happen i have hope…

  • kandi

    i am happy for you, but also very jealous. i’m still very young, and have been trying forever, but have also been told it would be very difficult because both my partner and i have low or no fertility when tested.

  • Simone

    Your blog made me teary-eyed. I’m 27 and my husband (who is 25) and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year. It’s really hard having no one to talk to…no one to understand. None of my girlfriends had this problem, and they all have bouncing babies to prove it. I do believe that my day will come very soon. Thanks for being honest about your journey. You’ve really helped me!

  • M

    Congratulations! I am 27 and my husband and I have been trying to conceive for about a year. In December I found out that I was pregnant. I was ecstatic believing that the bumpy road was behind us. I sadly miscarried at 8 weeks. Its hard to explain the feeling after a miscarriage. You hit the nail on the head with your earlier blog, I felt useless and guilty, but moreover a ‘bad mother’. I feel like its a woman’s natural duty to conceive, carry a baby and give birth, so why couldn’t I hold on to that baby for more than 8 weeks? Why could I not care for that baby? Losing a child, no matter when it may be, is the hardest thing to deal with. I still cry when I think about it and still can’t answer the hardest question of all….”Why Me?” Well its been almost 3 months and we decided to try again. First month down….and I am not pregnant. I am not getting too worked up since its only the first month we have tried this time, but of course that same heavy feeling comes over you when you realize that you aren’t pregnant. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts and experience. Its difficult to talk to people who have not gone through the same thing and to have them understand. The fake smiles and the “don’t worry…it will happen” are not enough. Its nice to know that I am not crazy and I am not alone in my thoughts and feelings……

    Give your little girl a big hug and a kiss. You are blessed…and she is the miracle to prove it.


  • Liz Vella

    Am So so happy for you I love happy endings because it shows that God is still hearing us we have to keep listening and doing he does the rest This is such a timely read for me my third attempt at IVF will know can I continue today with cycle or stop .and is there a egg to collect I am so tired so emotional and so blotted I feel like I cant do this again then today I go to my dads diabetes specialist with him and tel him I am on insulin and doing Ivf he tells me insuline makes you fat So I have gained 10 kg in past year since starting on it I am gratful he wants to see me he has put me on a diet and says once we get my weight down then I should conceive naturally I did conceive through IVF in 05 had a beautiful boy Joshua and I so thought this would be the same this fertility yo yo has been going on for 20 years for us .I am tired and tearful but have some new hope with this new doctor Liz

  • Kim

    It’s positive to hear the stories of long, trying times of trying to get pregnant but never can, only to end up with the author getting pregnant. But what about those of us who try and try, get pregnant, miscarry, take all 25 tests known to fertility specialists to try and detect reasons for miscarriages only to find out nothing, and in the end “you just have to accept it.” How come those stories never get posted? How do you just accept it and move on with your life? Women are supposedly giving the gift of giving birth so where does that leave those of us who don’t have that God-given right? You bet anger is the number 1 feeling at all times, all day, all night. I’ve yet to figure out how to move forward.

  • M

    It is sad to hear so many stories that are the same as mine. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 6 years now and unfortuanely we still have not succeeded. We have both been tested and even tried different infertitility treatments but nothing worked. The next step would be IVF, but coming up with the money to pay for this is a big problem. I am torn between do I spend everything to have a baby and than not be able to afford to raise it or continue to hope for the best.

  • Missy

    I completely admire your determination on your quest to have a child. I to went through all of these same experiences, in addition to some more invasive treatments as well. I was diagnoised with POCS at the age of 23, but looking back now, I of course know that the symptoms started much earlier in my teenage years. Of course when you are young, you just think what you are going through is “normal”, or at least normal for you. When I met my now husband, he had already fathered two beautiful children from a previous marriage. His son was 3 years old, and his daughter was 1 1/2 years old when we met. They have lived with us since the very beginning, so when I met him, we had an “instant family” as some might say. Although his children were and still are mine in every sense, I still had this feeling of emptiness and longed to have a child of my own. One that I could feel growing and experience all that a pregnancy had to offer. We had tried for several years, not taking any sort of precautions to prevent a pregnancy from happening. And month after month, nothing. I had very sparatic menstural cycles, often times I would not get one for months at a time. I went to a local family physician, who said it was an easy fix, and started me on a roller coaster ride with 17 months, yes 17 months, of clomid. There were no monthly follow up apts., no blood work, no ultrasounds, just clomid. Of course that was a train wreck in the making. After a year and a half of month after month of dissapointments, I decided to ask her to refer me to a fertility specialist. She said she didn’t think one would be able to do anything she hadn’t already done for me, but finally decided to refer me anyways, against her better judgement. Wow, what I was to learn on my first trip to this doctor was overwhelming. Here I am 23 years old, thinking to myself, I must be the only person in the world that could possibly have something like this happening to me. I would later learn just how very wrong I was. After many indepth tests and a surgery to “burst” or eliminate some of the many, many cysts that were on my ovaries, I began yet another long series of medicines. However, this time they were to be monitored very closely by this specialist. I did numerious rounds of clomid and of course month after month I would go in for my mid cycle syno, or ultrasound. I would be told, you have several good sized follicles, your uteren lining looks good, and lets go ahead with the HCG shot to make you ovulate. Of course then it was always a pleasure to go home and tell your partner we “have to have sex”, or “it’s time”. I have to say, any couple who can remain together after all of these fertility issues, obviously was brought together for a reason. Not just any couple can go through such times as these. My husband could have easily said, I already have two children, and they are with us, isn’t that enough. Never once did he utter these words. He went through every single test that was required for him to have done, sure some complaining along the way, but he did it anyway. So once, the HCG shot was given, you went to work, and yes after a while it was just like work, a chore, a part of the routine as you might call it. And then the two week waiting period. I did not know two weeks could be so long until then. And of course you would try not to get your hopes up, yet still find excitement that maybe, just maybe this would be the month. Then, your menstrual cycle would not come, you would take a pregnancy test, only to get yet another negative result. After 8 months of this, my doctor decided to try another procedure in which I would give myself injections everyday for a certain number of days a month. Taking the medicine for 5 days, that was the easy part, but having to give yourself a shot everyday, well, I wasn’t sure I could do something like that. Of course I learned how, and it wasn’t so bad. Again, we did several months of this, and each month, I fell deeper and deeper into a state of depression. I began to think I was just not meant to have the one thing I longed for more than anything in this world. I was angry, sad, blamed others for my problems, and yet optomistic that my doctor would have yet another route we could try. One final option was artificial insemination. We did this three months. My doctor told me at that point she did not think I was going to be able to ever have children. I could try much more expensive alternative procedures, but there were no guarantees with them either. As I drove home from that last appointment, I was overcome with a feeling of failure. I felt useless and dissapointment, not only to myself but to my husband. I remained on one of the medications that my doctor put me on, metformin, also known as glucophage, to help with some of the other symptoms that come along with the PCOS.
    It took several years for me to come to terms that I was not ever going to have children of my own, that I was never going to get to experience all the wonders of carring a child, and giving birth. I accepted that this is what God had intended for me. He had put me here for a purpose. Those two children needed a mother to raise them like they were her own, and that is what I did, and continue to do yet today. However the story does not end there. For four years I continued to take my metformin, menstrual cycles were irregular as usual, and I just rolled with the punches. In May of 2005, my mohter, my best friend, passed away unexpectedly from a build up of calcium in the arteries that lead to her heart. I hit my all time low in my life. She knew how much I wanted to have a baby, and had supported me every step of the way in my journey to have one, always telling me she would give anything if I could just have a child of my very own. Little did I know, she would have given her life if it meant I could experience the joys of being a mother to my own child myself. To many this part of my life may seem a little far fetched, but no one will ever tell me anything different, but my life was about to take a change, and to me, my mother had some hand in what took place. Over the entire summer of 2005, following my mothers death, I was depressed, I let myself fall into a rut of feeling useless, and just didn’t care anymore. All the while I felt the stresses of her passing taking a toll on me. Sure I kept myself busy taking care of my step children, and taking care of others children day in and day out, (I am a certified child care provider and work out of my own home). In October, while at our local Wal-Mart doing my weekly shopping, I walked past the pharmacy department, and while walking by I had an unexplainable desire to purchase a pregnancy test. Of course I knew it was going to be a waste of not only my time, but money. I threw it in the cart anyways, and went on with my shopping. When I got home, I began unpacking all of my purchases and the last item I unloaded was the pregnancy test. I figured what the heck, whats the worst that can happen, another negative. WRONG!!! Holly cow, it was far from a negative. Where had this come from. Of course I was in disbeliefe, I must have done something wrong. I called my family physician, who now was a completely different doctor than I had seen all those years ago, and asked him what I could have done wrong. He told me I hadn’t done anything wrong, and that he wanted me to come into the clinic sometime in the next week and see him. I made an appointment for the following week. I arrived at my appointment along with my husband, and was still not convinced that this was real. My doctor came into the room, congratulated my husband and I, and started talking about all the things you would hear at your first OB appointment. I told him I thought he was a little ahead of himself and he asked what I meant. I told him I still did not believe this could be true, that I could be pregnant. He stopped what he was doing and asked me to follow him, but had my husband stay in the room and wait for us to return. He lead me down the hall to a restroom near the lab department, opened the door, and said there are cups for a urine sample in the drawer, and when I was finished he would be waiting for me outside in the hall. What the heck, another one of these. So I finished, left the room, found him in the hallway, and he told me to wait a few minutes and he would be right back. Shortly after that he came out, smiled, and held up a pregnancy test that read PREGNANT! I don’t know what I said, how I reacted, or anything else about that moment. I only remember him saying to me over and over, Missy you are going to be a mom, your pregnant. We went back into the exam room where my husband was waiting and my doctor started asking all kinds of routine questions like when was your last menstrual cycle, and all that good stuff. Of course I had no idea when it was, they were never regular, and even more irregular since my mother passed away. I had been sick a lot, headaches, and paid no attention to that at all. I told him the last time I remembered having one was in June. I remember his mouth dropping when I told him this. He had me hop up on the exam table, started feeling around, pushing on my stomach, and had a really strange look on his face. He told me he was going to step out of the room for just a second and he’d be right back. He came back with a doppler and said he was going to see if he could find the baby’s heartbeat. I told him I thought it was a little early for that, and he told me that according to what I was measuring I was between 17-19 weeks along. Next thing I know, he is holding this doppler to my ear, and I am hearing my babys hearbeat. As if the shock of confirming that I was really pregnant wasn’t enough, now I am hearing this heart beat that is growing inside of me, and then thinking I am almost halfway through this pregnancy and didn’t even know it. Of course looking back now, all those times I would wake up in the night and throw up, or each and every time I would go to the grocery store for any kind of meat, or ever think or smell of meat, I was headed for the nearest restroom. This had been going on for months along with headaches regularly, and I had just figured it was stress related from the loss of my mother. Before I left my appointment, my doctor wanted me to have an ultrasound done the next day so we could confirm just how far along I was and get a better idea of when I was due. The next morning I arrived for my ultrasound, and there was this little baby, arms, legs, head, heart beating away, and moving all over the place. Almost all to good to be true. The ultrasound tech. told me that I was 18 1/2 weeks along, and due around March 21, 2006. I went home with the first pictures of my baby and a tape they made for me in a state of shock. I remember the tech telling me that I would have concieved around the 19th of June, but at the time didn’t pay much attention to this information, until I was on my way home. The 19th of June would have been my mothers birthday.
    My pregnancy was quite eventful, high blood pressure, lots of ultrasounds and non stress tests that would result in non activity, and thus another trip in for an ultrasound. I had lots and lots of pictures of this little person, and yet not once in all my trips did this little being want anyone to know what sex they were to be. I did not want to know anyways, as there are only a few surprises in life and this is one of them. I didn’t have to be told what I was having, I already knew….. On March 7, I went into the hospital for an induction, which did not work. After 36 hours, my little girl, Izabella Sue, (Sue named after my mother), arrived at 7:43pm. Weighing 6# 5.2 oz. and 21 1/2 inches long, she was perfect! She is the light of my life, a true gift from above. There is not a day that goes by, even now 3 years later, that I don’t thank my mother every day for this precious little miracle. And this is not the end of my story…………………….
    About 9 months after my little Izabella was born I decided I wanted to try for another baby. I thought maybe, just maybe, my body was in sync. Afterall I was having a menstrual cycle every month, something that had never happened before. For just a little while I felt normal. My doctor sent me to a fertility specialist in another town. He was very optomostic about my getting pregnant agian, and we started the first month taking 100mg. of clomid and then followed up with a mid cycle sono and the HCG shot to induce ovulation. We tried this for two months, and nothing. The third month he decided we would get a little more aggressive. My clomid was increased to 150mg. cycle days 5-9, followed by a procedure known as an HSG in which dye is pushed through the tubes to check for blockages or other problems. My tubes were clear, and there seemed to be no problems. A week later I returned for my mid cycle sono and had several follicles, so was given the HCG shot to induce ovulation. I went home, spent the next two weeks not allowing myself to get my hopes, but feeling “different” this time around. I waited exactly 14 days, and then because I did not have any signs of my cycle coming, took a pregnancy test. PREGNANT! Baby #2 was on the way. Again, high blood pressure, althought no nausea, but heartburn in the later part of my pregnancy. This time my husband wanted to know what we were having, but I did not. I agreed to let him find out, as long as he promised he would not tell me or anyone else. He assured me he would not. We went in for our ultrasound and the tech doing it slipped, saying look there are his private parts. I was shocked, he looked at me and felt terible, as he knew I did not want to know. I was a little upset, but I was ok with it. So, on December 19th, yes exactly 6 months after my mother’s birthday, I gave birth via c-section again, to my little boy, Mason Charles Glen. He was born at 7:25am, and weighed 6# 11oz. and was 20 inches long. Perfect!
    My step children are now 17 and 15 1/2, and my little Izabella is 3 and Mason is 15 months old. They are all the most precious gifts I could ever ask for. Each day is a new challenge, a new adventure, and there is never a dull moment. But then having two teenagers and two toddlers in the house could never prove to be a breeze. I LOVE IT! I have just recently decided that another addition to the family would be nice, and two months ago began seeing the fertility specialist again. I have just completed my second round of clomid, the HCG shots, and the HSG procedure. I am now taking a break for a couple of months as I have a cyst near my right ovary that we have been watching and it appears to be growing, as well as the development of a new cyst. I will take this cycle off, and when my next cycle comes around I will go in to meet with my fertility doctor to schedule a date for surgery to have the cyst removed. After that, we will be back in the game in hopes to add to our family.
    I know all to well the feeling of desperation many of you have gone through, or are going through. I will never tell someone to “just forget about it and it will happen” or “be thankful for what you have got, it will happen” or “quit trying so hard”. Those that speak those words have not walked in the shoes of us that have been there or are there. Their words can cut like a knife, and they hurt. I can only offer hope to each and everyone of you. Do not give up, continue to educate yourself, ask questtions, and most importantly, pray. Have faith. To each of you, I wish you all the best of luck in the world. May you each find the strength to help you through your lifes journey to have a child of your own. God Bless.

  • Lisa

    I am 39 years old and recently married. We have been trying to have a baby and were wondering what the problem was. My age? We sought out a fertility specalist and I was told I have PCOS. We don’t have the money for IV and it is not an option. I am on Glugophage and am tryin the next best thing. Our insurance doesn’t cover infertility so we are trying to work with my fsamily doctor to get around all of the loop holes. I was wondering what some of you have done or if you have had insurance problems as well.

  • Peaches

    That is wonderful I am so happy for you!!!!

  • Melissa

    Congratulations! My husband and I have two children, the first took almost two years to conceive and the second only three months. We have been trying to get pregnant again for the last three years but so far have had two miscarriages and no baby 🙁 Just after my last miscarriage my sister found out she was pregnant. She now has a beautiful baby boy and is in rehab because she is addicted to drugs. It makes me so angry that she has this wonderful little person and does not deserve or appreciate him I am having such a hard time.

  • Keyonna

    I started crying when i read the fantastic parrt of this story. I have been unsuccessful myself! I h ave been so embarrassed and stressed about it that I haven’t even told my mom. From reading your article, I want to say Thank You! You really gave me hope and knowledge

  • sharon stead

    congratulations, i hope i will have a happy ending one day soon

  • Lonika Utterback

    Thank you for your story. It gives me a lot of hope. My family too are “fertility” machines. I got pregnant 1 month after I got married only to have a misscarriage at 13 weeks, a week after I could safely tell everyone. It has nw been 5 months and I am getting deppressed as each negative test comes. I really don’t want to get as far as expensive treatments as my husband and I are not THAT well off.
    Congratulations and my we be as lucky.

  • Kayla

    I am so happy for you. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a little over a year now and we are having a lot of trouble, but I know god will help us get through this. I hope you and your little one are doing great.

  • kelly

    benn trying for nine years

  • This is very inspiring. I have been trying unsuccessfully since May 2006. Ihave been diagnosed with endometriosis. I have done two operations in the last two years to remove tissue and two chocolate cysts. I have tried everything from Clomid to Lucrin and have now been recommended to do invitro. Your story exemplifies what faith and determination can accomplish. You have given me hope. Congrats and all the best to you and your family.

  • Cathy

    Your story brought me to tears, as your first blog practically explains my life. My husband (33) and I (26) also met when I was in school and there was no doubt that we would get married and have dreamed of having our own family ever since. We are together for 10 years this year and still happy and going strong. Since a tiny girl I have had a love and passion for babies and a fascination for pregnancy and all I could do was dream about when it would be my turn. All I wanted to be was a Mom! I started thinking of baby names at the age of 10 already!!!
    My husband too has dreamed about having his own children and talks about them as though they exist, even though right now all they are is a figment of his imagination. He will bring up his son or his daughter in conversation, yet they are still to be conceived! After 3 years of marriage we finally decided that it was time to start our own family. We did it all right, we were in a relationship for 5 years before getting married. We didn’t live together and took all precautions to not have pre-marital children. We took time to get to know eachother and enjoy married life before committing to starting a family. Because we both appreciate and understand the responsibility and blessing a child would bring to our marriage and our lives. We wanted to be ready! We decided after 3 years to start our family and I tried very hard to keep it to myself as to not advertise it to avoid any pressure… yet that was more difficult then just putting it out in the open. I have read books and spoken to people and tried to gain as much knowledge as possible. It has been over a year now an to no avail! My Best Friend decided to start trying for a baby about 8 months after I started trying.
    December 2008 it finally happened, my period was late. I tried to not get excited but this was difficult because my cycle was like clock work and was NEVER late! I always said that if my period was late I would definately be pregnant.
    After day 3 I told my friend and she then realised that she too was late. So we both waited it out. After 5 days of no period I finally decided to do the test…. it was negative…. still unconvinced I went to do the blood test…. still negative…. but I still clung onto that little bit of hope, just maybe it is still too early…. the day after christmas my friend did her first test…. she was pregnant…after only 3 months of trying……… the very next day, my period started…… I am happy for her but very sad and bitter for me….. to this day we have still been unsuccessful in our attempts to fall pregnant. My husband cannot understand how some people who do not deserve children are blessed, and how we who have strived our entire lives towards being pregnant are struggling! …. I have been for tests and confirmed that I am healthy and ovulating. It is now my Husbands turn to do his fertility test yet he is hesitant and in his own world is trying to deal with the emotions and fears of the big ‘what if’ and inadequacies that go along with it. I am scared and hesitant because the last thing I want is for him to receive an infertile result and to deal with him being devastated about it. It would absolutely break my heart… how do I deal with that knowing that I am fine and healthy? The weight now rests on his shoulders yet I don’t want to force him to take the tests…..
    The emotion, fear and depression of every month trying, taking the test and disappointment thereafter has caught up with me. I try so hard to follow the advice of others to ‘just forget about it’, ‘don’t stress it will happen when your time is right’… but to tell you the truth, it’s difficult and soul destroying. I am generally a happy positive person yet now I feel as though I have a weight on my shoulders, and although I try not too, I too have the sense of resentment and bitterness towards friends and family who have concieved so easily. I am glad for them, but so very sad for me and my husband. All I want and all I have ever wanted was to fall pregnant and have my own baby….since I was a little girl I have dreamed of having a baby growing inside me and experience the miracle of life…..and it was always my greatest fear that I would struggle to fall pregnant, and today here I sit writing this blog and acknowledging the fact that we are struggling. Whilst it seems like everyone I know and all my friends are falling pregnant with ease… it seems as thought falling pregnant is an unattainable goal just out of my reach!
    We have decided to take a break from the emotional stress and strain of trying to have a baby and focus on getting healthy from within as well as without. I soon hope to find the courage and strength to continue with my journey of assisting GOD in the miracle of having a child……… Until then I will do my best to be happy and stay positive and pray that I too will receive my blessing. Your story is one of hope and just shows that persistance does pay off. Thank you for sharing.

  • Nat

    I share your pain.

  • Nicci


    Oh My your story is truly an inspiration to me! I cried as I read and felt your pain through your words and believe me our stories are almost the same except I am still not pregnant. It hurts yes but your story and the author of the segment and truly inspired me to go own.

    Thank you and God Bless

  • Sarah

    I have been trying for 18 months. I am so low and pray every day I don’t have to go through IVF or adoption. The meaning of life is to have children. I have no friends in the same situation. So nice to read all these comments and no its not just me.

  • Santanita

    I dont seem to have a problem getting pregnant, i seem to have the problem staying pregnant. i have had at least 20 miscarraiges. i have stopped going to the doctor just cuz they cant do anything but tell me to relax.
    Ive given up gettig pregnant. only now i find that after 6 different birth control pills and 6months of migraine headaches i cant take them. the doctor says stop having sex for a while till he can figure it all out. im pretty frustrated. My husband wishes we could get past it all, he hates to see me so upset.
    the problem is i see a baby and get all emotional.
    I tell myself i just need to toughen up, but, it bothers me that so many women have the babies and they dont even want the baby. my sister included. My husband agrees. we recently saw on the news the 23 year old mommy that was tired of her 3 year old, and suffacated him, not once but twice. she did cpr just so she could kill him again. then she tells the cops, ” i did not want him to grow up feeling unwanted.” WTF is that?

  • Danielle

    thank you for your wonderful, yet heartwrenching story…I’m so glad you got your happy ending! Your first story made me cry, i feel like I could have written it myself. Your follow up made me cry, too, with happiness for you and hope for myself. I am 32 and my husband is 37. We have been trying for 15 months, with no luck. And it seems everyone around me is pregnant. My 19 yr old sister just had a baby girl 2 weeks ago. I work in childcare and 5 of my co-workers are expecting, as well as about 10 parents. Both of my sisters are baby machines, one has had three abortions in the last three years (imagine how it feels to be me in that case. I cant make a baby, she uses abortion like birth control.) The other as I said, just had a girl, and was also pregnant @ 16, which she terminated out of necessity. The only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom, and every month my heart breaks a little more when it doesnt happen. Thank you for your inspiring story, it means alot to know that I am not alone, and to have hope for my own happy ending.

  • Betty

    I am 37 and have PCOD. It is very difficult to have a baby. It just seems like a very distant dream to be pregnant. I had IVF done 2months back but it failed. I want to try another round of IVF. Looking at your story, I feel, it may be possible to get pregnant without doing IVF too.
    My periods too were very irregular.

    I am very Happy to hear about your babies. God bless all in your family.

  • jennifer

    I cried reading this..my husband and i have been trying for 3 years and now he wants to give up. Im 26 and hes almost 37 says hes to old now. Im heart broken and I feel totally useless

  • susan

    thank you for your story. It made me cry especially the part of feeling useless and guilty. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 21 months and are awaiting review by a fertility specialist. My husband has been so good through out this but I am so scared that will be told I will never get pregnant and if I do get that news how can I cope with never giving my husband something I know he really wants just as much as me?

  • jess

    My partner and I are trying to concieve in september 2009 so our baby is born in june 2010 but I have a fear that im not fertile! But I guess we will have to wait and see! I am 19 and peope say im stupid but I want to have a young family so I can be closer to them and have a lot more energy!

  • Love

    Thanks for your articles, they are really an eye opener. I have been trying to conceive for 19 months now, although I have been diagnosed of fibroid. I believe to get pregnant some day as I take my herbal remedy seriously. Keep your good work going.

  • fasha

    My husband and I have been trying for over 11 years and we have not been successful. When i was younger i always dreamed about getting a family, but i never dreamed that it would turn out this rough. my sister has only been married a year and half and now has a daughter. So of course my parents are pushing me to have one. i wish it was so much easier.

  • raquel

    you are a go getter and you wanted that and your determination causes you to achieve.i am having the same concerns but just beginning the process here hoping that i will conceived by faith.


    Thank you for your story. I needed to read something like that becouse I’m about to give up on having another baby. Me and my husbend having been trying for almost to years now and everytime I get my monthy time I wont to cry and cry. At my little sisters baby-shower I was so sad that I had to leave before she could even say anything to me. The next time that I go and see my doctor I’m going to ask what I can do to inprove my chances of having a baby.
    Thank you for your story I really needed it

  • aisha

    Thank you very much for being brave enough to publish your story,That is wonderful I am so happy for you!!!!

  • Erin

    I cried and cried after reading both of your articles – the “I can’t get pregnant” and the update. You hit the nail on the head with validating one’s feelings. My husband and I have been trying for 6 months, and although that is not nearly as long as your journey, I feel so frustrated and useless. I’m so tired of people telling me “you’re young you have plenty of time” or “stop stressing just let it happen” or “If you stop trying it will happen.” I’m 28 and every month I’m not pregnant, I just cry. Then I feel stupid for crying because as everyone tells me we haven’t even been trying that long, but I still hurt when I see that I’m not. I use an expensive fertility monitor that says I should be pregnant by now. I needed your story. Thank you.

  • fiona

    I also suffer from pcos my husband was aware of my condition before we married but after three months of trying my husband left me. We have been separated for almost two years. I have since had surgery to remove mys cyst to late it seem for my husband has a 9 month old son now. It kills me, all my friend and family deserted me I am all alone now. Just wanted to say thank God your husband truly loved you. Now I have no one and often think of suicide.

  • Diann

    My husband and I have been trying for a year and a half. I have had two miscarriages. After the second I went to an RE. I ended up having surgery to remove a wall in my uterus and was diagnosed with lupus anticoagulant. We were given the green light to try again three months ago but we have been unsuccessful. What has been scariest for me is that my cycles have changes from regular to varying lengths since the surgery.

  • Amy

    Thank you for validating what I’ve been feeling! We are now trying for our 2nd child, but it is unlikely to happen (I’m now 43; we had our first at 41) so I’m getting really frustrated and upset. but I KNOW “NOTHING is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37) Our first child was a miracle and I had been told I could die on the table the morning of the c section because the doctors were unsure of how to deal with the medical problems I already had in case of bleeding. I spent the hour prior to the c section sobbing but, praise God, all things worked together for good and our 18 month old is tiny but perfect!

    So please, everyone out there, never, never, NEVER give up on your dreams and yourself!
    All my best!

  • jurielle

    your story made me cry..im sooo happy for you! God bless! thanks for sharing your wonderful story..

  • janice


  • Nadia

    reading these stories, made me feel that im not the only one.I’m a woman of 25 year old tryng for a baby. its been a year and i feel im useless. Im sometimes feel im cursed cause all my sisters are very fertile. I’m so depressed and hurt i feel like there is no need for me to live

  • Melissa

    It is a gift tohear that there are others who understand the the frustration and emotions that come with trying to conceive. I miscarried earlier this year and have been trying to get pregnant for which seams like forever. With more pregnant friends than not pregnant friends anger&jealousy rises. My husband does not understand that “selfishness” that comes with the guarded and timid congratulations. It makes me agry with myself for not embracing them with the love and joy that I should give my friends. I never anticipated problems with conceiving. I got pregnant with my daughter without planning and caried a healthy pregnancy. My second pregnancy stared while I was on the pill. Unfortunately, I miscarried and faced the most difficult thing I ever had before with most feelings of emptiness thought possible. Now while we try again the tests continue to be negative and so growing my feelings of doubt&”defectiveness”. I feel guilty seeing how long many try to conceive, we haven’t even reached a year. But now I’m approaching the due date of the baby lost and a new reminder of an empty womb

  • socorro

    thanks to all of you, for sharing your stories it gives me hope, since i been trying to get pregnant for 4 years, may God bless all of us with the miracle of life.

  • Stephanie TTC

    Wow reading all these stories brings hope and faith that one day God may bless my husband and I. We’ve been trying for 6 1/2 years now. I did get pregnant once in ’05 and at 11 weeks I miscarried. I still carry that guilt that it was my fault that I miscarried. It’s been so hard. It almost broke up my marriage in ’07 but thankfully we are working through it and are trying to concieve again. My husbands sperm count is low. We’ve tried alot of things to TTC naturally but it hasn’t worked. So a few more months then I think we’re going back to the fertility clinic and dropping the big bucks for IVF.
    Please pray for me and I will pray for all of you.
    Baby dust to you all.

  • Sadie

    So very glad for you. One less unhappy woman! I understand the emotional pains & feelings of inadequacy. I am still childless after almost 20years of marriage&
    it gladdens my heart to read good news like this. Whether youve tried for 2 years or 20years, the pain is the same. GOD bless and keep your beautiful angel and your supportive husband.

  • ambu

    its been 4 yrs.of my marriage. everytime my periods cum, hope comes and gets lost. i feel miserable, hopeless and frustrated. everytime i see some1 playing wid thheir baby, or a husband taking care of his wife during pregnancy, tears start rolling down my eyes. when will god bless me??? i m waiting, still waiting…

  • alex

    My husband and I having been dating since I was 16 and he 19. I was only in school then but it was not long before I knew that he was the person I wanted to spend my life with. It was not long before I started fantiscizing about what a happy family we would be one day – the two of us and our kids – I would even picture what those kids would look like.

    When I was 24 and he 27,we got married. At that stage, despite never having had regular periods,in my naivity, I never thought that having children would be a problem – all my older siblings had fallen pregnant easily even when they did not want to, even whilst being on the pill or having the IUD to prevent pregnany.

    I am now 29 years old. I have never been on a contraceptive and although we have a healthy sex life, I am not pregnant. Earlier this year, I decided to consult with a gynaecologist. I lost count of the number of blood tests that I was subjected to – and this for someone who has a phobia of needles. I have been diagnosed with pcos and been put on a course of medication. My period is still irregular and I constantly wonder whether I am pregnant and try to think about whether I have any symptoms – I think I even imagine having nausea – and am constantly disappointed.

    It has put a strain on our relationship. Although my husband is very caring and has tried to be supportive, he does not say anything about the how he feels about the problems in trying to fall pregnant.His silence pierces me further, because I know that he must feel something, and I know also that the things that hurt him most are the things he will not speak about. I also know how much he wants to have kids because I watch how happy he always is playing with my nieces and nephews and he always remarks how he “can’t wait for us to have kids”. I feel so guilty about not being able to give him that. Worse still, despite having no sexual problems ordinarily, there is such a lot of pressure to “try” on the days when I might be ovulating (according to the gynae) that we now having difficulty being intimate on that day. We are tense and my husband is only on those days specifically unable to get a strong erection. That just hurts more and makes me feel uglier and more useless.

    The first blog written by the author really made me feel as though somebody understood finally. My sister who is now 42 is pregnant – her husband and her have wanted a second child for a while now. I am very happy for her, but I wish so dearly that it was me instead. I feel so guilty for having said that but for that matter I hate the person that I have become. I have become obsessed with having children. I cry too often, and although I try to be happy for others, there is a sadness everytime I hear that someone else is pregnant. I have even asked my husband for a divorce, and he just says no, and that we will have a baby one day – more and more, he sounds as though he is trying to convince himself.

    I have been moody and difficult and bitter recently and just about ready to give up. Thank you to the author and all those who have commented – you have again restored hope.

  • Lisa

    Congratulations! That’s great news. I have been trying for a year now and it is very frustrating. I have a high prolactin hormone level which is causing a disruption to ovulation. I am taking medication right now to lower it, but still nothing. My next step is to go to a fertility specialist. Your story gives me hope! Thank you so much for sharing.

  • Megan

    My husband and I have been married for almost a year now and we have been together for 2 yrs. We have been trying for 9 months now and still no luck. In Oct.2008 I found out that I was going to be a mother the 3 days before Thanksgiving of that year I had my first ultrasound. My husband and I go in just waiting to see that little heartbeat but everything was flushed down the drain when the tech tells us that there isn’t one and my doctor was notified and a d&c was schedule for the next week. So that week goes I have my surgery. And still to this day no happy ending yet but after reading this story and the other comments I hope that my happy ending will come sometime as well.

  • hcg

    its interesting that fertility clinics are very common and they surely make a lot money out of it. My girlfriend used hcg herself as fertility treatment and she got twins actually, makes me wonder if that was an accident or if this is common with hcg..

  • Danielle

    your story was inspiring. Thank you for sharing. My husband and I are trying to have a baby. We have only been officially trying for about 4 months but I have been off birth control pills for over 2 years and we have had regular sex during that time. Sure I did not chart my ovulation or anything but what are the chances of missing that “time” for the whole two years. I feel like something is wrong with me. My doctor will not even begin to explore those possibilities until I have tried for 1 full year of charting my ovulation. I take ovulation tests every month, chart my cycle, make sure that we have sex on the right days, ect. I have tried all the old wives tales. putting a pillow under my hips. I don’t drink and I don’t smoke (never have). My husband quit smoking. He is 28 and I am 26. We have been together for 11 years and have only been with eachother. I have regular cycles between 31 and 33 days. I have taken so many pregnancy tests and they are always negative. I cry after each one. I try to stay positive. Everyone around me seems to get pregnant. People who don’t want to be and people who do drugs and live a trashy life style. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I just want to a mom. Why does this have to be so hard? why do I have to be so worthless?? feeling hopeless.
    I am so happy for you that you finally got your bundle of joy, I hope the same happens for me someday.

  • Michelle

    Trying for 3 yrs now. Lots of mixed messages from doctors out there who seem to keep referring us to yet another specialists. so frustrating….My husband has been diagnosed with low sperm count. We’ve been thru IUI twice, clomid and might go for ICSI/IVF. Before heading in that direction, we are going to an endocrinologist just to cover all the bases. Wish us luck. It is extremely painful to be married for 6 years and not have the family that you desire. It always seems that everyone else gets pregnant with out being married or immediatley after getting married. Can’t help feeling that people must suspect there is some sort of fertility issue with us. It’s not something that we share and have to deal with the questions “what are you waiting for?” and we’re not getting any younger….i’m 34, he is 35..sigh….I do have faith and will try everything to succeed.

  • Bih Quinta

    Congratulations.l got inspired after reading your experience.I do believe that children are gift from God and i pray that God bless every woman,who is going through this same experience.God bless you all.

  • trisha

    hi, i have been diagnosed of endometriosis on april 2009 — and just recently had my operation on nov 13. my doctor told me that during the operation they’ve found out that i also have adenomysis and she was only givng me 6 months to get pregnant. ryt now we’re still waiting for my recovery and while waiting my husbnd is taking a lot of meds for the good sperm. i hope some women who have the same situation post a very inspiring blog like this — hope you include what procedure you did also to have a baby —

  • Danielle

    Congrats on your wonderful blessing!

    I do know how you feel – even though not in quite the same capacity.

    I have a 3 year old son from a previous relationship – but 2 years ago myself and my soon-to-be-ex husband decided we wanted to try for a baby. As I had accidentally gotten pregnant with my son, and he also had a son from a previous relationship we figured there would be no problem!

    Well we tried…and we tried…and then YAY! We were pregnant. He was so excited, and I couldn’t wait to give my son a sibling. But then, 12 weeks into the pregnancy I had a miscarriage. It was the most absolutely devastating event that has ever occured in my life…

    Three months or so later we tried to give it another shot…we tried, and we tried…and then again YAY! We were pregnant…

    But again, at 9 weeks this time I had yet another miscarriage. I was a wreck, totally lost and dumbfounded…if I could get pregnant before, and he had a child as well, why were we not able to keep a pregnancy going past the first few months?

    So we tried one more time after that, and actually became pregnant fairly quick. I made it to 10.5 weeks before I lost that pregnancy…and that was pretty much ended our marriage. I became severely depressed, and expressed a lot of the same feelings you had towards your pregnant friends. He told me I was being bitter and mean, and if I couldn’t cope then he was leaving…and thats what he did…

  • EVE


  • ms. aud

    I too am younger… 27 mother of one which I had no problem concieving. I have been trying for 3 years now..at one point tracking ovualtions month after month and nothing. My doctor started me again on birth control to help with spotting and irregularities. I messed up on times with the pill and now am 3 wks late. Filled with excitement I thought maybe the irony of this is I could get pregnant and now 2 test later nothing. I am soo discouraged. I don’t understand. I should be happy I have a 6 yr old but I never imagined she would be my only one. My longtime boyfriend has 2 children from previous relationships and I just am loss in saddness and confusion. Good luck to all trying to concieve its hard road but I pray for all of you the best.

  • caroline

    I have been trying for 1 1/2 years and have tried pills, inyections and an operation. I am very sad. I have trouble sleeping. I am very tired.

  • lizvbronx08

    iam sad I liz can not have babie

  • Jessica

    Hello my name is Jessica,
    I’m 21 years old
    and I want to have a baby I been trying for some time now with my boyfriend and nothing yet.
    I have not asked the doctor cuz I never really go to the doctors
    because they are so high and money ain’t that easy just to give someone that will tell me
    stuff i already know.
    I did ask this lady at the clinic why my time of the month only comes sometimes
    she said it happens to a lot of girls that I’m not the only one.
    She wanted to put me on birth control so my time of the month could come on time every month
    but she said my blood presser was way to high just to give me pills so I never went back.
    I know I’m still very young & I should not worry quite yet about having a baby
    but I’m scared that maybe I will never get to be a mother and I know my boyfriend loves kids.
    This is something very hard. We will just have to see what happens =(

  • viennapaige

    Thank You so much for your story..this brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart.

  • veronica s

    My husband had been married 4 10yrs I can identify with being pricked and probed.I went places with my husband and only ate healty foods and drinks with d hopes that I would get pregnant fast.Notting happened but I was always happy 4 those who got pregnant.My husband and I had a fallout and was not speaking but eventually made up.that was in November the december I desided to enjoy myself in the new year.We went 2 a party and I taisted most of the alcohol available.December passed and i missed my period which I got accustomed 2 sometimes. friends of my husband who could seeee told me I looked pregnant I payed no attention. We though I was constipated so I bought a laxitive but a friend said “may b u r pregnant”then my husband bought a pregnancy test. I quarelled with him because i got accustomed 2 d false alarms so many times. January I did d test 2 please my husband and low and behold it was positive I could not believe it.our son is 2 yrs now and we have been tryin for the past year and a half 2 get pregnant again but notting yet I am afraid it may take another 10yrs 4 another child and I am already 38yrs.I have fribroids and pco but we are in d hope that we got pregnant with those disadvantages before and we can do it again. If by 40yrs i am not pregnant then i would consider removin d fribroids, but we r still tryin. to all who think they r alone god does not give u more than u can bear I am greatfull that i have goten 1 child and it is his will.Keep tryin and b happy for those who r pregnant. thank u

  • Mathew

    Well that’s great for you. We’ve been trying for two years, tried all the drugs and three rounds of IUI. My wife needs all kinds of surgery that insurance won’t cover so it’s probably never gonna happen for us. So wooptydoo for you. I accept my faith now but can feel nothing but jealousy and bitterness towards anybody with kids.

  • Shah

    Sometimes i feel that the idea of not getting pregnant in first few months creeps so much on the head that even normal person will stop responding to ovalution

  • kati

    Thanks for being open.all this time i have been feeling that am a lone n i never wanted to share it with anyone its like shame to the family but now i feel free its just a normal thing. am open now to speak with my friends.
    Be blessed say hi to your Angel.

  • Sarah

    You’re awesome!

  • Aimee

    I’m sad — I just was crying in the washroom at work. Another month, another disappointment. We’ve been trying for a year and everyone and their mother keeps asking: when are you going to have a baby?? I want to scream, “I’m trying, dammit!! Leave me alone!” My friends are popping up pregnant… and I’m happy for them — I just want to be happy for me, you know? It just doesn’t get easy. I have faith that God will either bless me or give me the strength to deal with this.

    To all the people out there who are reading this: don’t let yourself get bitter — it doesn’t solve a damned thing. We can say, “why not me?” but would you wish this on anyone else? Hug your pregnant friend or family member and be happy for them — even as you hold back your tears. That’s what you do when you love someone, you show them love even when you’re hurting. Thanks for the story and the hope.

  • Sarah

    Wow, this does give me hope, although I’m 44 (age factor??!!), and was finally ready at 43 with no luck. I always thought I would get pregnant easily when the time was right; after all, I look 30, but I began to realize that my eggs aren’t 30 🙁

    For anybody out there reading this … I could definitely use some advice. What are your thoughts on surrogacy? We’ve educated ourselves about adoption, and it could cost around $30,000! I came across a website called Surrogate Moms Online (surromomsonline.com), and there are many women out there that offer to be traditional surrogates or gestational surrogates. Many of them have their own health insurance which includes IVF/surrogacy, and they may charge anywhere from $10,000 to $25,000. Now I don’t know which option would work for me yet–whether I have any good/quality eggs left, which I’d prefer my eggs and my husband’s sperm, but if I don’t, then the surrogate would donate her eggs, and my husband’s sperm w/b used. I pray I’d be able to use my own, but it would at least be my husband’s biological child. Many of the surrogates do this out of compassion for the infertile couples out there.

    Anyways, I’ve been contemplating whether I should look into this, as IVF and all the other treatments can add up to thousands of dollars with no guarantee, and we’d be out all that money. Surrogacy doesn’t seem as complicated as the adoption process and fees. Many surrogates do this privately vs. an agency, where the fees are three-fold–and this saves the IP money.

    I’m trying Clomid again for a few months, but I realize I’m getting up there in age. My husband is 37.

    Anyways, I’d appreciate your comments/thoughts on this.

    Congrats on the pregnancy!

    Thanks for reading!

  • Amanda

    Hi, I’m very angry and sad. When I read stories like these I fell even worse because I realise more how unfair this life is!!! Your feelings are exactly like mine with the difference that after forever trying I do get pregnant yes! Can you imaginge how happy I am when I do?? I want to scream it to all the world….Then I misscarry 🙁 This already happened four times…Can you imagine the disappointement? Can you imagine the humilation I feel when I have to tell everyone that there is no pregnancy anymore? Can you imagine the uselessness feeling and emptiness I have to go trough everytime this happens? Everyone says “Dont worry some day you will have!” and this makes me feel much more angry, I feel that they tell me this just to make me feel better but the look in their eyes tells me that they dont even believe themselves in what they are saying….I ended up not feeling happy when I get pregnant after years of trying, because I am expecting another misscarriage to happen soon! I dont tell anyone anymore, that I’m pregnant, just to avoid to tell them about the misscarriage….Happy or sad I HAVE to keep everything to myself…
    This is so so sad!

  • Tracy

    Congatulations on your daughter. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was only 17 and have been living with it ever since. My husband and I have been trying to start a family now for a little over six months. I completely echo your feelings of guilt and resentment towards people with lots of kids. It’s strange how I happened upon your story as I’m also 27 and share so many of the same experiences as yourself. It’s been really difficult for me seeing my brother and sister in-law get pregnant basically every chance they get. While I’m extremely blessed to have such wonderful nieces and nephews, I can’t help being jealous. Your story was really inspiring and gave me a sense of hope that maybe someday we’ll have a baby of our own. It also made me realize how important it is to get past my hurt feelings and try to focus on the positive side of having a wonderful extended family.

    Thank you for sharing your story and to those that have posted their stories as well. It helps knowing I’m not alone out there! God Bless

  • Christy

    I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was about 16. Since then I have been taking orthotrisprintec (birth control) with spironolactone and a prenatal vitamin. The doctor said my case wasn’t too severe and didn’t have much to worry about. Being a teenager though and not thinking it was very serious I would occasionally miss a pill or 2. At that time all I cared about was the hair i had developed and wanting it to go away. How embarrasing? well at 18 I didn’t have my period, I had been told by my doctor if I were to become pregnant and take the medicine it would harm the baby so I quit taking it took a pregnancy test and it came up negative. I went to order mare medication but cvs wont let you order it after they think you need it so I had to wait till my next appt with my doctor to recieve more medication. Not thinking about how pregnancy could ruin my future at the age I still had intercourse with my boyfriend (now fiance) normally. However nothing ever happenned. . . What was wrong? I asked my doctor who becam worried as well. He ran blood tests and the results became one every girl fears. My hormone levels were low and I was informed I could not get pregnant on my own. This upset me a great deal, why wouldnt it? My doctor decided that he would not go on to getting more information about what was happening and told me to continue to take my medication and when i decided to become pregnant he’d suggest me to a different doctor. So, now what I thought, this sucks, I dont have the money for this. I wanna get pregnant on my own not have to take tests and treatments. I am only 20 and still in college and envy every person I see pregnant thinking how wonderful it must be. but, I am scared because what if I wait and wait too long then I really cant at all and become completly infertile? I just wanna get my life straight. Everyone says chill out stop worrying. How do you not? Its your body and future here not just something you can throw away and forget about. I dont know what to do and I dont want my parents to look down on me in any way. Then again when you think god wouldnt have given this to me unless he knew I could handle it , it makes you feel a little better. Life is tough and all you can do is wish for the best.

  • c.hawthorn

    i cried when you wrothe that you were pregnant!!! i have hope for myself!!!

  • JoJo

    I’ve been trying to concieve with my husband since the night of our marriage 4 years ago. Last year we took overwhelming joy in a positive test result, only to have that joy ripped from us when bloodwork test results confirmed a misscarriage. I not only live with the frustration of failure, but also the pain of loss and defeat. I congratulate you on your happy ending! I pray that some day soon, I too will have one to share.

  • Christi

    You’re story brought tears to my eyes. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 3 years, much like you. Except, I’m overweight and terrified to go to a specialist for fear that they will tell me to lose weight. I know I need to lose weight. I’m trying but it is so hard. I just want for my husband and I to raise a beautiful child together. Thank you for your special story, it really made me feel like there may be hope for me.

  • Godchild 12

    To all mothers who cannot have children,
    I think u r the best mothers, what kind of mother would want her child to live in a world like this one, in the next life u will have the best of babies.So keep smiling and trusting in God if he wants his children here, then he will seen some for a little while! don’t let nothing upset u in this life, we are only here to worship God!

    God bless you all! He loves u dearly with kids or without!!!!!!

  • Mrs. H

    I am so unbelievably happy for you. Your story made me cry and gives me hope that I can get pregnant ant some point too.

  • Dana

    Atleast you had hope and accomplished your dream. I was born with a condition that leaves me with 0% chance of pregnancy, ever.

    The equipment necessary is simply not there. Ever since I was little I always wanted to be a mom, and baby sitting is the one thing I felt most natural at. I’m 26, as they’d say plenty of time to pray (for even a miracle) but I have long since been with the love of my life and the one way he refuses to accommodate me is in adoption. He would rather have none than ‘pay out the nose to raise someone else’s responsibility’. Wish I was an animal person.

  • Kay S.

    Bitter sweet for those of us who tried every conceivable scientific way, and were unsuccessful.
    10 years after last IVF, now in my forties, and it still is hurts to say I’m happy for you and sad for me.

  • cant tell sorry

    I forgot to say that it may vary by person only he can tell you. I am person who never giveup.. I hope you are too and I dont want anyone of you to give up either… I dont want to get old and say ” I wish, I had done it” I want you all to think same way… keep doing what you do best (sex until get pregnant ) or i’ll do it because i got all the energy (just kidding) Well try this chinese guy hope it all work out for you and if it does email me let me know. Goodluck to you all.

    Person Note:I’m just trying to spread good words out if it help somebody.. i’m not getting paid by anyone like i said i came to this site by mistake googling.

  • cant tell sorry, please don’t leave personal contact info in our comments section. It’s against site policy, and we will continue to delete those comments.

  • A Husband Dealing with IF

    We have been dealing with infertility for 2 years now as well, I am so sorry for those sharing in this battle. And I wish you all nothing but the most luck.

  • Ang

    I am Very happy for you even knowing that I’ll never have a baby. I just came accross this story by accident when doing a google search, I don’t know if you’re still reading comments.
    My story is the opposite of yours in many ways, many ways! I was shot with a hunting riffle when I was 2 yrs old and the bullet went through my uterus, and many other organs. I was told I’d never get pregnant but at age 20 I had a huge cyst and had to have an ovary removed and 1 year later got pregnant by accident, it was tubal and after having my belly cut open for the 9th time they had to do a dnc 2 days later and a round of chemotherapy to kill off all the baby tissue still growing among my organs. I am dissabeled and have never had the money to consider adoption and I am left with 1 ovary, NO tubes and a bicornate uterus. My husband got a friend of mine pregnant and they ran off together. Now at the age 39 I have no hopes left and just wonder ‘what if…’
    I should’ve donated eggs when I was still young enough so at least I could think about that little piece of me out there somewhere living the life that I couldn’t have, being given the chance that was taken away from me at 2 yrs old. I am not bitter and do not pity myself, but it would be nice to think there was a life out there that I had the tiny part in doing all the things I could never do.

  • Erida

    Congrats… I really couldn’t stop crying and crying from
    reading your first blog and I cried more reading ur second one… Thank u, thank u for posting ur story I have no words to describe how hopefull u have made me feel…god bless

  • dane

    Very happy for you god has finally smile on you I only hope my wife and I will have the same faith as we have been at for over 2 years and age is not on our side give thanks for your gift everyday you did somehting right and you got your reward there is not one day that passes and I dont think of how would I be as a father and t doesnt help when everybody says how nice you are and the fact that I get on really well with kids and the fact that I grew my brother literaly trust me from picking him from nursery to feeding to changing to scolding to homework while going to college myself maybe thats why my mom LOVES me so much but I trying not blame my wife and the fact that I have had passed girlfriends who have had miscarriages doesnt help I LOVE her so much and know she wants to have my kids so badly she doesnt really speak about it she just keeps herself extra busy but anyway enough about me CONGRATULATIONS take care nice story love happy endings nuff love

  • Leema0808

    As much as I shared your pain initially, Kate, I now share your happiness!! Congrats!!! That is especially because We are also trying, with my wife, over a year into our marriage. We hope and pray that God will make us successful too, in His time. Thanks Kate, and my love to the Cats-&-Dogs-Terrorist! (LOL)

  • yasmine

    congratulations! i have read the authors and ‘MIssys’ stories and they are amazing. i wish u guys all the best for the future with your adorable children and hope to have my own one day. im still in the early stages of trying to concieve a baby. it has been only 6 months but it seems forever. My husband is the one thats getting really upset when my tests come out negative month after month. we have had tests done and everything is fine. my husbands sperm count is abit below average and our local doctor says that this may be why its not happening as soon as we’d expect it to. me and my husband are not patient people the moment we want something its gotta happen i believe in this case its not the way we should be. Like i said where in the early stages i truely hope i can have my own bundle of joy 1 day. your stories give me hope that i have to be postive and just keep researching. thank-you

  • cassandra

    thank you for both of your articles. my husband and i are trying to have a baby and have been for about a year now. i am 22 and he is 25. it is hard because i have been pregnant before and lost the baby when i was 19. we just don’t understand and i can’t get my head around the situation. every time i think i might be my hopes are always crushed by a negative test and a horrible period. so thank you very much because you have given me hope that it might just take a while for us.

  • Angelique

    hi . . . it is really a relief to know that we are not on our own facing these tough times. It is so wonderful to hear that people do get some good news after so many difficult times.

    Have been facing tests and stuff for the past two years . . went through a laporoscopy, since gyne suspected endometriosis but did not have any. Nine months ago started going to a new gyne and she stated i have POCS. Have been also taking a treamtent of Low Dose Naltrexone in order to control my very bad Pre Menstrual Disorder. On the way of all these tests have also been diagonised with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. After two years of physical pains and emotionaly cycles, i have started taking clomid, which i could not further take because it caused me a hyperstimulation. Now i am on my second round on femara . . . i just dont know how much longer i can cope . . . since i also suffer from an anxiety disorder and am trying to stay as relaxed as possible so as not to take any anti anxiety pills.

    i just hope and hope and pray that things will finally work out to us and to all of you out there . .. cause it can be so so so hard.

  • Well I tried for my first 3 years i have been married and I still haven’t got pregnant.

  • Now this is my 4th year that have been married and I am going to deliver tomorrow. I hope that I will. I am going to have seriously going to have 20 babies tomorrow. I was going to have 40 babies tomorrow, but 20 of my babies miscarried and died.

  • I am going to get off now because I am going into labor. I am about to have my babies. My babies aren’t supposed be coming until 11’o clock tonight. My babies are early.


  • Sarah

    I am sobbing reading your story. I’m actually happy for you which is weird because I am still in the “can’t get pregnant, want to kill everyone who can” stage… You took the words right out of my mouth and heart and I’m thrilled to hear that it worked out for you in the end. Thank you for sharing.

  • MariyAiman

    Congratulations, It is truely a miracle.. May God Bless your little girl with lots of Happiness. God Bless

  • k dunphy

    It is particularly hard reading these comments when we have been tring for years and years and tried IVF. Nothing appears to be happening with Adoption. I cannot find a way of coping with it all.

  • Anoynomous

    Your story made me cry… but it gave me alot of hope. Thank You for that 🙂

  • Ellen

    Gosh.. What a beautiful story. I hope this will happen to me too.. i was in tears when i read this. Also you should think about writing.. your style of writing is very good…. Congrats and all the best.

  • Tina

    Lovely …. Thanks …

  • Angie

    Hi.. Your article realy inspired me too.. thank you for sharing it with us.

  • asmadik

    Hey hello…I read your story and comments too. It is truly inspiring to me. I came accross your story because i am very disturbed and depressed. we are trying from almost a year .From the young age i had night mare that what if i couldnt be a mother,I always dream about being a mother. what if my dream does not come true…… after 6 month of marriage we decided to have baby . my periods are very irregular i did not wait and headed to doctor. I diagnosed with PCOS. which is killing me everyday. The feeling of unable to ovulate is really bad. I have started hating myself. My husband is very supportive and has lots of patience. we are far away from our family. my whole family is in home country and we are here due to my husband’s job. I am housewife and try to keep myself busy in my hobbies but always think about PCOS and ovulation and conception which makes me sad. I can see myself in your story cause just now i came to know that my best friend is pregnant who got married after me. I am having mixed feeling for her. My dr. started met forming and clomid for me. I finished my 2nd cycle of clomid and I did Ovulate on 100 mg dose last time. this time I have done blood work but waiting for the result. I ovulated but i was not pregnant so almost crashed last time but this time very anxious for my ovulation and conception.My husband is very happy with last time result with clomid 100mg he always tries to keep me up and emphasis that if i ovulate once i can ovulate for 100 times and atleast one we could catch but I dont have patience I am crying n crying , feeling very low, yesterday i thought i am the only one who is fighting for it and read your article I felt good. you have written it wonderfully ,gave lots of inspiration. everybody says you need to relax and not to think about it, you tell me how to do that? can anyone help me I am really nervous and since my mother is not near me i am missing her badly. I cant tell her about my condition She will be very worried for me. so felt like to write to you …..
    Thank you very much for sharing your story to us!

  • Michelle

    I also was told that I have PCOS. For a girl that always wanted children and found out about this about 6 mo. ago. I have been angry scared and sad. I have spent a lot of time in prayer but I am still having a very hard time with it. I don’t feel that I can share this with my close friends and prayer partners because they have all recently had children. It is very hard for me. I now hate going to family functions because of the all powerful question, “Don’t you think its time for you to have children?” I was having a really hard day with all my emotions when I came across your first post. It made me not feel so alone. Thank you for that. I have also felt really guilty for the feeling that I have been having as I hold my new nephew and niece both born with -in a month of each other and with-in the month that I was told I have PCOS. Any way. Thanks for all you shared. It truly spoke to me. I cried most of the way through. Thank you again.

  • Candice

    It’s scary to read your blog and all the comments posted after, but at the same time, it gives me some hope. I have been trying to get pregnant with my husband for a year. I have my period every 28 days and have nothing unusual. It’s incredibly frustrating to watch people get pregnant who shouldn’t. People who’s children will get taken away from them by Child and Family Services’s, or people who will not be as good a mother as I will be (I know I sound selfish, but I will be a great mom!). Anyway, it was a HUGE relief to know that other people feel the exact same way that I do. I have my first appointment with my doctor to talk about this in 2 days. Hopefully we can get some answers… Good luck to you, and to all the frustrated women who have posted their stories..

  • arlene

    Thank you everyone for your blogs, I AM NOT ALONE. I had been crying with my husband and got up and did a search don’t ask me why i just did and came across this blog first, i guess i called to me it was meant for me to see it, i have no one i could talk to who understand, well i have one friend i could of called she has been there for me, but it’s too late to call her. I am 39 and have been trying since i was 24, i too have PCOS the closes i got to having a pregnantcy test come positve was on feb 13,2007 yes a day before valintines day, the doctors called me and told me i was pregnant i had just done a blood test a few days before, you know routine with the doctor, i was on medaformine, i was so excited I called all my family and friends and could not beleive after all these years this could be true. i called my obg could not get in till the next week so i went to a local doctor two days later and was told i was NOT pregnant, they told me now what can i do for you? like i was lying, or at a fast food resturant, i just cried, now i had to call my family back up in tears and tell them it was not true…. this doctor just crushed my heart. what went wrong, why would that happen? I Dont Know…now i look at my age and think is this it? will i die never having a child. my friend calles me last week, you know the one who says she is never having children ever.. lets just say that phone call was to say she is pregnant again….yes again. i didnt answer her call i knew thats why she was calling.. i ask god just about every day, what did i do wrong and what ever i did im sorry i’ll do better, please just let me know what it’s like to have that little person growing in me..or have someone call me mom or mommy..why!!!!!why!!!not me.. do i just put it in my head i will never have children so it wont hurt anymore? (((((why))))!!!!! i just cant take it, it hurts so bad..i just want to rip my heart out so it wont hurt, when does it stop or does it???? i just needed to vent and let what i was feeling out, thank you for this website, i needed this when i’m in my car comming home from work i’ll cry before i get home, so my husband don’t see me. he never know what to say.. well i feel a bit better getting it out, and knowing I’m not alone in feeling what i feel. thank you 🙁

  • Jennifer

    It’s so nice to find other women who are going through the same thing, although I don’t wish this on anyone. My husband and I have been trying for two years and I’ve suffered three miscarriages. I’m 33 and still hoping that some day I’ll experience the joy of becoming a mother. I do have to admit that I’ve had some very bad days lately and crying is a daily, if not hourly, occurence. I’m almost ready to give up and to label myself barren. I don’t know if I can stand getting my hopes up another month. And if one more person tells me they are pregnant, I’m gonna lose it!

    To all of you who are walking in my shoes, I wish the very best for you. I hope you all have a fairy tale ending.

  • Danielle

    I wish I could take hope in your story, but I feel more let down, embarrassed and horrible than ever. I read your story and think I’m not lucky, this wont happen for me, something is wrong. I thank you for sharing your story, but find that I am more lost in my own pain than given hope that I too can one day have a child. Everyday I feel i let down my husband and best friend. I may be selfish in the fact that I don’t want to wait anymore, I don’t want to hear that I have plenty of time. And I really don’t want to hear another person tell me that once I stop trying, is when it will happen. BS. I am happy for you, but I grieve for what I feel I might never have.

  • Megan

    Thank you for writing this. I am 27 now and trying, to no avail. I HATE being told how young I am. I completely know how it feels to be bitter when everyone else gets pregnant so easily. It’s so wonderful that you were able to see it through and ended up with a little girl. I hope I can say the same thing one day.

  • Megan

    You are not alone. My husband and I were together for 5 years before he agreed to start trying and I never knew when or if he would ever agree to. It was like being stabbed through the stomach to see a pregnant woman or even think about it. Don’t hide from him. He’s there for you. But trying to hold on to control over something that is inherently beyond your control will only destroy you. Do everything you can but realize what parts of this are out of your hands. It’s like holding onto to something so tightly your fingers bleed. If you don’t let go a little, you only hurt yourself. I know it sounds stupid to try to let go, and it takes patient practice, but you can do it. That doesn’t mean stop trying. It just means finding an emotional balance that lets you cope.

  • Annonymous

    I read this and it made me get tears in my eyes. I understand the feeling a little jealous towards your best friend who gets pregnant on the first try. This year will be 3 years since we first started trying and you really do start to lose hope after a while. It seems like it will never happen. And while my best friend complains about how much it sucks to be pregnant and blah blah blah she just doesn’t get how much it sucks NOT to be pregnant. I would gladly take morning sickness and the weight gain and the the moodiness over not being able to get pregnant anyday. Thanks for giving me a little bit of hope back.

  • syndee

    my husband and I have lots of STRESS in our lives right now. We would always said that if it was meant too be it will, I no longer think that. Every period I get is breaking my heart, the thought of never having a kid of our own is slowing killing me. Watching woman having babies at the drop of a hat and My Husband and I just keep trying and all I get is another period in the same month. I would love to be a parent to something other than our dog ( who I love a lot). What if I can’t have kids????

  • Arlene

    Thank you so much for your words, I agree on what your saying, I do not have control over this…and what you said about holding onto something so tightly your fingers bleed that is exactly how i feel.. and i just need to breath and yes i need to find a middle..Again i want to say thank you for your kind words….


  • beth

    ur story was very sad and happy at the same time..congrats on your baby..we have been trying for a little over a year and even though you wrote this to try and give women faith i have to say i think i have pretty much lost all faith and hope..i have wanted a child for so long and just cant get pregnant that i as you said feel useless..i am so use to being able to do things if i set my mind to it..but usually its things like quitting smoking..passing an exam..i wish i could just cut inside my stomache and do something to make it work..i tell my fiance all the time that my stomache is broken..we have been to doctors nothing is wrong..i dont know what else to do..im hopeless

  • Lauren

    When I read your story, I felt all the emotions you described. My husband and I (both 27) have been trying to get pregnant for almost 3 years now. We both have had tests done and said we are fine. Everyone says “It will happen.” I am getting sick of that. I know they just want to help, but it hurts. I just tried my first round of Clomid. I had a feeling it wasn’t going to work, but you always have this small bit of hope you don’t want to admit. So I don’t really know why I am surprised not to be pregnant. I am just ready to be a mom. I felt like it is the one thing I was born to be. I am great with kids.

    Thanks for writing this blog. It helps to know that there are others out there in the same situation. I really hope that someday I will read the stick and it will read “PREGNANT”. I hope for all who are trying that is says that.

    Thanks again.

  • M

    Today an old friend found me on facebook and added me as a friend. I browse through her page… and realize that while we’re apart… she’s got married and just have a baby a couple of weeks ago.

    It makes me cry! I’m still crying! It’s hurting more and more… seeing more and more of my friends and family having kids… and I still can’t after 7 years of trying.

    In the past 7 years, I’ve thrown five baby showers… and been to countless baby showers… *sigh*… and this coming Jan. I’ll be throwing another one for my sister-in-law…

    I want to put on a smile… and throw a nice shower with a clean warm heart… like the first one I threw for another sister-in-law… but… thinking about it…I feel bitter and sad. I know, I wouldn’t show it… and I’ll throw a great shower like I always do… and when I say great… I really mean… I spent thousands of dollars and countless hours of my time… planning the best shower I can think of and afford! Every invitation and every party favor is hand made to perfection!

    I can’t express how I’m feeling to you all … in words…

    Some times… I hate this feeling so much – that I try to calm myself down… by saying… that maybe… I was born to travel the world…and not be a mother bound by responsibilities…

    Well… reading comments only makes me sad… and my husband will be home in 30 minutes, so, I’ll stop now. He doesn’t need to go through another day of me feeling this way.

  • S.

    Well I figured maybe posting my story would help me and others to know you are not alone (thought it doesn’t make the pain go away I know)… just found out today try # 18 didnt work… I’m 28, married three and a half years. We have beent together since I was 20— so so careful not to get pregnant before we were ready- I have always wanted to have children as all of you I’m sure- always been told i was great with children. However, I knew I did not want to bring a child into this world until we were completely ready financially, mentally, and emotionally. Now i think back and so wish there would have been an “accident” before we were ready. We started trying in July of 2009. (Not to mention I was ready about a year before this but waited b/c of family reasons) 18 or so tries later nothing… I have tried to be patient… watching a best friend now on number 2, another two friends just had number 2, sister in law due next year as well as other distant family members and not to mention another best friend that got pregnant the first time they tried! Well been through all tests- thyroid perfect, prolactin levels fine, i have ovulated like clockwork every month since going off the pill.. every month… i can feel it and ovulation kits confirm it…My husband is a “sure thing” as the nurse and doctors put it- abnormally high count the results said, perfect mobility, etc. I had an HSG, my tubes are “beautiful” said the doctor, progesterone levels monitored for 4 months- perfect again– clomid is for unexplained fertility… horrid hot flashes all the time but still didn’t work… they were so convinced it would… finally i go to a specialist… more blood work for hormone levels and i have to watch my ovulation test- and come in for more bloodwork and ultrasound to make sure my body’s ovulation matched up with the test- well it did beautifully of course and follicle size above average and progesterone high again.
    They are baffled- tell me i should be happy b/c they can’t find anything wrong but after 18 months of trying and more than that in longing it’s hard to be. I realize IVF is probably a viable option for me but insurance of course won’t cover it and when you have unexplained infertility you start to wonder should i keep trying naturally and for how long?? or do i go to IVF?? What are they missing?…. and then you see teenagers and other individuals who dont want children and they conceive sooo easliy. i know life isn’t fair but it’s just soo tough going through this… you wonder what’s wrong with you? We could provide children with a wonderful loving home. … No answer but every month when you wait for your period to start and then it does it’s sooo sooo trying. I have symptoms too which gets your hopes up only to let you down even harder… I just keep trying to think positive…going to try IUI next month. Christmas will be bittersweet- Seeiing other family members with children and others pregnant and you want to be happy for them but it’s sooo hard on you and then you get asked “When are you going to start trying?” And you smile…and say oh when we are ready… meanwhile you are dying inside… I just wish someone had an snswer- the waiting game is so tough for me and not a doctor can find anything even remotely wrong but agreee something – since perfectly time attempts have not worked again and again…Well I will keep my fingers crossed for each of you and please do the same for me .. hopefully our dreams will come true sooner than later 🙂

  • Krystal A. Thomas

    I am so late with this post, but I seen that Kate has a beautiful baby girl! I am so happy and Kate I want to thank you because your story gave us all hope!. When I first started reading this post I cried for almost an hour…. now I am smiling just knowing that maybe one day we may all have our ” Juno Scene ”
    **best wishes kate**

  • angie

    Hi,l these storys encourage every woman out there who is trying hard just to have that baby of their own.I myself have been trying for 6years to have a child with my partner. He has 3 children from an ex who left him for another man who could’nt have children but stopped my partner from seeing his kids as she wanted to play happy familys with her new hubby.We tried ivf twice,then chinese treatments £240 for two three monthly treatments for myself l did get a heavy periods which was a change l allways had light ones which at the time felt normal. My partner also had two lots of treatments £320 a time! We also had 3 bottles of tablets to take not a clue what was in them but if it worked what the heck! After 12 months of accupunture tablets and depression setting in l decided enough was enough so stopped the treatments, oh and l took a second job to pay for it all so worked for 3 years allmost for nothing.We went into adoption but the lady who came to see us took a look around thew house and said we were a lovely couple but she did’nt like our home! We would have to have loks on the windows put stuff in our cupboards in different places plus we had a hamster and she pulled her nose up at that! Two months later the hamster died as she was due a second visit then you wonder why they are allways advertising adoption! She then said that because of the treatments we should leave adoption for the time being and if we wanted to try again we could in a few months time! We decided to try another method l bought a moniter the ovacue and use it every morning l’m also on fertlilplus tablets to see how it goes, l’m dreading christmas cos my family will be there with their kids and l’ll be staring at them wishing they belonged to me all my wish will be that in the new year my wish will come true and l’ll be able to shout l’m pregnant! l pray that it will finally happen and if l end up throwing up constantly will reming myself it will be worth it! I pray that 2011 will bring all us childless woman a brilliant new year! So l keep trying to be strong and know l’m not alone.

  • Richard P

    Thank you for your frank account of your fertility issues. I am a man that is having some difficulty coming to terms with the prospect of not being a father. My wife and I recently separated largely due to issues surrounding IVF and infertility. It places a huge toll on relationships and not only impacts on the female. Men also suffer with infertility issues. Anyway. . . . . Congratulations on your baby. 🙂

  • sally

    im so glad it work out ok for you yeah me and my parner have been trying for 5 years now and the last straw came when we were pregnant last christmas and i was 6 months gone everything was going fine we new we were have a girl called her olivia go th nursery all ready ect and then out of the blue i got really bad pains and within 2 hrs we had lost our little girl and she was the 6th we have lost so we are not trying anymore as we cannot go tho that again but all my friends have children and my sister has children its just so hard to think that we are never going to be blessed but im a childminder and i love that and were going tho the fostering process but its not the same anyway good luck with your little girl hope you have a great life together as you deserve it salx and thankyou for making me relise im not alone

  • Teela

    Thank you. Thank you so much.

  • alex e grey

    thanks for the update and congratson having the baby x

  • Traci

    I was so inspired by your story. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year and we have been unsuccessful. I have never been so frustrated and when my sister called one day all happy and cheerful to let me know she was pregnant i acted happy for her but deep down i was only hurting because i wanted that to be me. So tonight i was feeling depressed and decided to google cant get pregnant…. and your story showed up. It gives me hope that someday we will add to our family. Thanks again for your story and I hope your family is doing great!

  • doja

    sharing the same experience….i have been married for about 1 year and 3 months not pregnant 2 previous misscarriages sooooo desperate and i have a biocornate uterus which increases my fear

  • Jami

    Congratulations. I am so happy that things worked out for you and that there was a big shining light at the end of the tunnel for your family. 🙂

  • Denise

    So happy it all worked out for you. No-one knows how we feel inside except other people who have been through this nightmare. I hope you are all well and happy. xx

  • Melissa

    I am so happy for you! Both of your blog posts spoke to me. Let’s keep the faith ladies, it will happen!

    I have been trying for 14 months and every time I get my period I get more and more depressed. I never expected this to happen and it’s becoming difficult to deal with. All I can do is be around supportive people and stay positive as much as I can.

    Blessings to you all!

  • Kerry

    Firstly, Congratulations!

    I read this article with rivers of tears flowing down my face. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 18 months now. I have been diagnosed with PCOS and my husband has a lower count than the magic 20million everyone seems to rave about.

    I am trying to stay positive but when your body doesn’t do what it needs to- ovulate,it feels as if your own body is working against you.

    We are waiting for my husband to have more tests and then I can hopefully try clomid.
    Fingers crossed to all you ladies in the same position. I hope that i can one day repost on here with joyful news.

  • Yesi

    I just want to start by saying congratulations! I am in the same situation than you were. I have been trying to get pregnant for more than 5 years and nothing has happend. I was found with Policistical ovary Syndrom too. I am really sad because I really want to have a baby and I know my husband too. I ocationally have dreams about babys and that I have a newborn, when that happens I wake up so happy but wheb I soon realize that was a dream I start to cry. Just want to tell you that your story gave me hope! Thanks!

  • susie

    Its so nice to read about happy endings.I have been trying unsuccesfully for a baby for 18 months. I am nearly 37. Am going to make an appointment with my GP. I sometimes wish I had tried years ago and not left it this late but I was not really settled or ready so I should not really think like that. Good luck to everyone who is trying for a baby.

  • huda

    Hi, i have been trying to conceive for 10 years now, and i am thinking of giving up, i am so desperate i even thought of leaving my husband. In you are article you mentioned how you believed that your role in life is to be a mother, and thats exactly how i feel. I feel so self conscious around people all the time because of infertility. I feel that my mother in law does not think i am worthy of her son. I just feel bad.

  • Jazzy

    You give me hope, and that’s a really hard thing to come by these days. My husband and have been trying for two years to get pregnant. Like you, I have have every test done under the sun, and so has my husband. My first month of Clomid in Nov,(after 1.5 years) I got pregnant, only to miscarry at 11 weeks in Jan. People will say, at least you got pregnant. It makes it all the more difficult and constantly ask yourself what you did so wrong to deserve all of this. Well, once again here I am. It’s been 4 months since the miscarriage and still I can’t and I feel like I need to give up, for my own sanity. It’s all I think about 24 hours a day. I have regular periods, I ovulate normally, my husband has no issues. They can’t find anything wrong with me. Sometimes, I wish they would becuase then they could fix me. I can’t talk to anyone because all 5, yes 5 of my best friends and my sister in law are pregnant eac only after a month. I am a bitter, lonely person who feels she can’t talk to anyone but my husband. I don’t mean to vent, but it feels good to get it out to someone who completely understands. Like I said, you give me hope-I just hate the forever negative monthly test.

  • Mrs.B

    Glad it worked out for you. My situation is a little different. I’m 43 and have been married for a year and a half. Yes, first marriage for me, second for my husband. He wants “it” to happen naturally. I’m not allowed to take any “drugs”. I’ve changed my diet, gotten more active etc. but no positive pregnancy test. The tests that the doctor wants to run are not covered by insurance and are very expensive. My time is very literally running out. He has three children from his first marriage and I think that influences his urgency over our situation, but he denies it. Would like a happy ending, but, the more time passes, I sincerely doubt it will ever happen for me.

  • Irene

    I am 33 years old and me and my husband have been trying for the last 14 years to get pregnant. We have had all the tests done and 2 unsuccessful attempts at ivf. Your story is so inspiring and the emotions you go through nobody can understand unless they have been through it. I was diagnosed with pcos 12 years ago at the minute my husband have stopped trying but I always live with my faith in god and hope that I too will get to experience with most precious experience of pregnancy and having the most precious gift of being a mother. God bless

  • helen

    Its so nice to read other peoples stories and comments that are going through the same thing. And a big Congratulations on having your baby.
    I am lucky to already have a son who has just turn 13 and am very grateful for him however it doesn’t stop me wanting another child as I have always wanted a large family of my own.
    I had my son when I was 18, young I know, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It pushed me to achieve many goals especially in my job as I wanted to be able to provide for him as my parents did for me.
    I was lucky enough to find my wonderful partner 4 years ago and for the last 2 1/2 years we have been trying for a baby.
    I came off the pill and after 6 months my periods were still all over the place but the doctor told me I would have to wait until I had been off the pill for a year. The false hope every time my period was late was heartbreaking. It didn’t help that 2 of my friends decided they were going to try after finding out I was and fell pregnant on their first attempts. 1 of them too had been on the pill for a couple of years and fell pregnant without even having her first period.
    I went back to the doctors just over a year later and had a series of blood tests done over 3 cycles to see if I was ovulating but the results were inconclusive because of my irregular periods. My partner also had to have a semen analysis which came back very low. Therefore the doctor referred us to the hospital.
    We finally got an appointment 4 months later and had to have more blood tests done and to loose a Stone as my BMI was 31 and had to be 29 and my partner had to take another semen analysis this time to stop smoking and no alcohol. We did all of this, well I needed to still loose a few more pounds but still went back in march as I thought I might still have got my BMI down.
    I was expecting to be put on Clomid as that’s what I was told at the last appointment (although that was by a different person)but this was not the case, it wasn’t even mentioned. Instead I had to go through the internal examination to be told I had PCOS, I was not told any information on how it effects fertility (although I knew some basic information) instead whilst still lying on the bed being prodded the consultant said the reason I have PCOS is because I’m fat and she doesn’t believe anything else causes PCOS but being overweight and if I loose weight they will go. She also said that what semen my partner does have is lazy and not strong swimmers and although she cant say we definitely can’t get pregnant the natural way she highly doubts it so IVF it is. So we needed to both loose more weight and come back in six months so she can refer us to the clinic.
    I can say that both me and my partner left feeling completely distraught. After it had all sunk in I couldn’t believe how the consultant had spoken to us. If you saw me you would not say I was FAT, I admit I weigh more than what I look but I am a normal size 14 all evenly distributed throughout my body and at 5’6″ carry it rather well. I left with no real answers. I didn’t have a better understanding of how PCOS caused ovulation problems.
    We are due to go back in September to be referred and I have lost just over a stone hopefully it will be 2 stone by then through doing weight watchers and so has my partner.
    I have done some research on PCOS and have found that it causes you to produce more male hormones and can even cause weight gain. I have also read that there is no known cure, is there anyone out there that can shed more light on the subject for me as I want to know if there is more I can do. I had hoped that by loosing weight my periods would start getting more regular but as I sit and write this I am exactly 2 weeks late and I know I cant be pregnant as my partner has been working away for the last 6 weeks and I have only seen him 3 times. I also suffer from the extra hair growth and spots that is associated with PCOS and anxiety but then I dont know whether the anxiety is related to PCOS like I’ve read or because if I think too much about the difficulties I’m having I can get really down in the dumps.

    I wish everyone that’s having difficulties conceiving all the luck in world as I have been very fortunate to have had a child and know it is the most incredible most rewarding experience ever, which is why I want to keep doing it. I hope that we are successful with the IVF and that we end up having twins or triplets as if this is the only chance we have left then the more the merrier.

  • Kat

    I am 39 and my husband is 45 but no baby. What mus I do to fall preganat?

  • courtnay

    Hi Ive been having difficulties getting pregnant for some time now and im 22 yrs old… This story made me cry really but tears of happyness and hope that all will be ok. I so wish to have a baby and my fiance and i are so ready i just am not getting pregant its only been months mind you but my family like yours a baby making machines and i just dont understand why im having trouble.. But i will keep trying and hope for the best thx so much for the update it is truely inspiring! Congrats by the way cheers!

  • Costello

    No one under 28 should be trying to have a baby. Go live life and try to make the world a better place

  • qt

    Thanks for sharing, I mean it for everyone even those who commented. I cried and laughed through the whole thing. Married for 12 years-never was on the pill, menstrual cycle every month, ovulating, husband is fine and I never have gotten pregnant. Was on clomid once and had one insemination but nothing happened. Do have problem with thyroid that supposedly was under control but Dr. says it has to be under 2 (Low normal) and then says I would have higher chances of getting pregnant. We shall see. I am on the same page of roller coaster feelings. I am trying to stay positive and still have hope. I am over 30, so chances are decreasing with each year but do wish for every person who participated including myself God’s blessing of conceiving a child. Its hard to be happy especially when those who conceive babies are people who theoretically don’t deserve to have such blessings but at the same time I understand that I also, don’t deserve anything. I only put my trust into God that with all that I do he will have His mercy and give me the child; not because I am better than anyone else or deserve it but because He is merciful, graceful God. Love you all!

  • cubangirl

    Thank you!! your story is such an inspiration for all of us trying out there to get pregnant. I have only been trying for 4 months and I already feel all those emotions you describe. Your story gives me hope, thank you!

  • Ms Jackson

    Wow…I am so happy 4 you. I never comment on blogs although I am the google search queen! I’m 30 w/ no kids. Here I am complaining about trying for 8mths w/ all u went thru. So encouraging and inspiring!
    Thank you

  • amira

    your story is very inspiring..im happy for you..!well actually my husband and i have been trying really..weve been together for more than 3 years now and still negative,im still young though..im 21 years old right now.i was 18 years old when we started trying to have a baby… and im loosing hope..thanks for your stor i had high hopes now…Godbless

  • amira

    we really wanted to go to the doctor but were having financial problems..we all know that if we started to consult a doctor and need a medication we all need money for that..though i have a regular period i havent experienced being delayed…im just scared that my husband might blame me for us not having a baby..he wanted a baby really..

  • JR

    Thanks so much for sharing your story… my wife and I are frustrated after a year, and the military isn’t exactly accomodating (I’m an active duty Marine) but your story gives us a little hope, and with other craziness in our lives right now, it’s exactly what we need. Congratulations to you and your family. Going through now what you went through then, you deserve to hold that smiling little girl.

  • pippa

    Wow…kate I’m so happy to read your update.I religiously followed your blog and all the comments and I was thrilled to ultimately know that you had a beautiful daughter.My love to her.Your blog supports and consoles me during those painful moments when my period arrives.We are recently undergoing fertility treatments as well and my ultrasound is yet to happen.I feel utterly restless sometimes,crying profusely when I’m alone.I just do not want to hurt my lovely husband without whose support I could not have even made it this far…..your story is so inspiring.I just pray for all those women like me, trying hard to get preggers that no matter how miserable life is, never lose faith in urself and God…..

  • Trisha

    Just wanted to say that this made my day a little better. I just read the first article after getting news that my brothers girlfriend of two months in pregnant after me and my partner have tried for 2 years. I was angry and upset that we have it together and cant get pregnant yet someone who barely remembers to feed his dog gets a baby. I question god and my faith and know that something better is comng along for me but a m frustrated. Anyway, thank you for your article and hope….i needed that !

  • Sadden

    I know I’m late in posting but I’m going through the same thing as ur earlier article. I ave been married for 7 1/2 years. I had the same dream and thought for myself. My whole life all I wanted was to be a wife and mother. I was pregnant a year after I got married and had a miscarriage of twin girls at 5 months. It broke my heart and ur article took the words from my heart cause that’s exactly how I feel. I’m angry, jealous, questioned, etc. All my life I was told by women that ur not a woman til u get married then after marry I’m told u don’t know what being a woman is until u have a child ….. It hurts me because I really don’t feel like a woman because I don’t have a child. I feel like my purpose is useless here I can’t do what god put me on earth to don’t feel like I’m treated differently by woman. I can’t afford-fertility treatment my husband was diagnosed with cancer two years ago and we are not sure if he can have children now. So my life is destined to be child less I just wanna find a way to be happy for people and really mean it.

  • Amanda

    Thank you so much for posting! My husband and I have been on our journey for two and a half years. I just found out my sister is pregnant…again, so many of my cousins and friends have had babies recently or are pregnant. It feels so good to know that I’m not alone. Some days I could just cry all day other days I just want to shut the whole world out cause I feel like I’m going to explode I’m so angry. I have told very few people because I dread the hurtful comments and “helpful” suggestions, even the few I have told have let a few of those out.
    I truly feel happy for you thank you for sharing your struggle as well as your success.

  • Shannon G

    your story gives me hope.

  • Stef

    Congratulations I read your first article out of simple curiosity and then I found that there was an update and I was so glad i read it. You are blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and thats the best gift of all.

  • Sissy

    Thank you so much for posting your story. So many women are going thru this and need to know they are not alone and you had the guts to tell your story. It gives me some hope. Congrats and God Bless.

  • Darshana

    Really Happy for you dear 🙂

  • martha

    I’m so happy that u r finally pregnant I wish I could say the same.. me and my husband have been trying for 3 yrs and no luck I miscarriaged 2 yrs ago… I thought I was so mean for being jealous of .my friends and family being pregnant but I can see I’m not the only one that feels the same. I cry myself to sleep every night hoping and praying that I will one day be a mommy. I thank god for the wonderful and saportive husband he blessed me with.

  • Ru

    it was very interesting and supporting story for my situation and my for feeling.trying from 2 year to get pregnant not happening.having too may problems in me tubes are blocked,not getting periods from two year,adhesions,pod,dont what to do…how manage and live with mother in laws….cursing me for not get to see their grand children…depressed.

  • Twana

    I want to say thank yo i amu for the hope you have given me. I am 37 years old and my husband is 28 and we have been married going on 3 years. My husband and I are desperate for our first baby together but it has been so difficult and frustrating. Last month I started Clomid and is currently praying that all goes well. Thank you and congratulation.

  • Randi

    I feel so worthless, useless, and and yet again heartbroken. I have PCOS, and a small amount of Endomertiousis, I was raped at the age of 13, thank God I didnt get pregnant by that piece of crap, but I do still have scarring from what he did to me, my husband and i have been trying to conceive for almost a year now, today we had innercourse and everything was going finem until this horrible pain followed by a strange colour blood, And just as a not I havent had any type of period since march. I just feel so heartbroken, because I calld fy family doctor today and they said the test, by blood was negitive. I am on soonercare so anything to do with the word infertility is taboo to them i guess. well the 29th I have an appt with a gynocoligist/obgyn. If anyone has any advice for me please [Personal contact info deleted] please place either advice or something like that, I want to be a mother so badly…I have to go im crying my eyes out

  • gina

    I to have been trying to conceive for about a year now.Have a 21 year old and i am now 37 and cant seem to be able to conceive. I was wondering if any one having trouble conceiving may have took the drug Accutane Therapy? I have two sister who have more than one child but i cant seem to get pregnant either my spouce is 38 and has one son to. If anyone has taken this drug with complications please let me no have been concerned with this.

  • Tess

    After reading this amazing blog by this beautiful woman and all the comments my fertility problems feel so small im 21 and my husband is 24 we have been married for 18months and trying to conceive for 20months After taking the pill for 4 years once i stopped i didnt have a period for over a year Every time i have been to the doctor he tells me im young and this is normal….. This still makes me worried. Devastating is the only way to explain how i feel. Lots of my friends have babies and most of them were ‘Accidents’. Ive been looking into adopting although all my life i have dreamed about growing a child inside me. since i was 15 i havent dreamt about anything else this makes my life horrible! Not to mention all of my family asking when we are having children i have been holding all my feelings in but soon i will snap at someone and it wont be pretty. We have given up… This was the hardest choice of my life. I have a wonderful husband and im concentrating on planning a holiday at the moment. I would give everything i have for a baby… Next year we will be beginning the adoption process so fingers crossed within 5-10 years ill be a mummy.

  • Jenny Bragg

    AMAZING how similar our stories are. Although I am 36 and have been trying for 3 years. I did get pregnant on my first month of taking Clomid, I had a miscarrage at 8 weeks….nothing since then. You story gives me hope as I have tried for years in the past when I was younger as well with no success, then a divorce, then a husband who passed away. This time I actually did have the one pregnancy that didnt last but that was two years ago! I have gotten some good advice from a fertility specialist and am going to try Femara instead of Clomid because I had such horrible side effects to it when it made me ovulate. I hope my story ends like your beautiful ending. Thanks for sharing your story. I truely know I am not alone in this journey of frustration, anger, jealousy, and sadness of not being able to have my own child!

  • ayesha

    im not happy for anyone anymore. not even myself.I love kids>And im so good with them. then y doesnt God give me children. im 27 marriied for almost 2 yrs now and i have been trying since the 1st day.
    Im willing to try anything and everything.Been to numerous doctors taking herbs meds everything. nothing works. and now im just fighting with my husband on things i didnt care about much. Im so frustrated…i feel completely useless. I was the only child and prayed for siblings but i was always alone. and now evrybody except for me is either pregnant, thinking about an abortion due to accidental pregnancy or just giving birth.
    how is that even fair?? the doctor said my eggs arnt good enough so he gave me clomid. im on the first round of clomid. but as i have read i guess there is no guarantee if it will work. im on the laptop all day trying to figure out what is wrong with me and how to fix it. im so tired. i want to scream.

  • Han

    Wow. I found your first post on a google search. Reading it was like reading my exact same feelings written by someone else (even down to the awful hateful feelings of sadness and jealousy and hopelessness I got when I heard a good friend was pregnant. I clicked on your name hoping to hear a happy ending. I’m so happy that your ‘process’ ended happily. I hope that one day mine will too.

  • Someday

    your first post…. It was like reading my thoughts in the internet. That is exactly how i feel. Also, thank you for posting the update… I also have pcos, we’ve been trying for one year with negative results. I started taking Inositol with folic acid for ovulation and it’s been helping me ovulate, however no baby yet. We’ve decided to just take it easy for the following months since i got really depressed affecting both myself and relationship. I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel…and will not lose faith that someday I will be a mommy.

    • sharon pite

      Your solution is on facebook (Oduduwa Ajakaye)

  • hannah

    Hello my good friends i want to say a big thanks and appreciation to the great man Dr ukpoyan of dr.ukpoyanspellhome@gmail.com who bless my womb, i have been married for the past 10year without a child i have look for all kind of help that can make me get pregnant but nothing works, but through an insight i came across Dr ukpoyan profile at the internet when i was searching for help on how i can get a baby, Quickly i contacted him to help me out, he said he will cast a spell that will make me sleep with my partner and get pregnant so he told to have the faith and believe in him, as everything will be fine, and which i did, my friends after doing all the instructions given to me by Dr ukpoyan, a couple of weeks later i went for test and i was detected positively pregnant of 2weeeks and now i am here taking care of my baby girl all this i never believed will happen but with the help of Dr ukpoyan my problems where solved..
    well if you need any help with your problem of delivery issue just log on to Dr ukpoyan on: dr.ukpoyanspellhome@gmail.com

  • sharon pite

    it is almost two months now since i order a pregnancy spell cast on me on facebook (Oduduwa Ajakaye) i saw in a website on how he help a couple to get pregnant and i contacted him which i started seeing changes on my body since the first week of last month and it two months and i am carrying my own baby in my womb i am so happy that i finally get pregnant after all i have been through. contact him for any problems you are having, he will surely provide you a solution, All thanks be to him

  • Brooke

    I know this post is over 7 years old but as you felt 9 years ago is how I am feeling at this very moment. I’m actually sobbing as I type. My husband and I have been trying to conceive since 2012. Although my story is slightly different then yours, my pain is the same. I was diagnosed with stage 2 endometriosis and a uterine septum both required surgery to remove. It has since been 3 months since my last surgery and all without a positive pregnancy test. I am losing confidence. Like yourself I have wanted to be a mother since I can remember and I want more then anything to give my husband a child. I was searching the internet for something and/or someone who could relate. That’s when I came across your first article after I read it, I searched your blog for an update. I wanted find the faith that I lost in this exhausting process. Thank you for your blog and for giving me an optimistic outlook.