The Bob the Builder children’s show perplexes me. It’s not the talking construction equipment, I can handle the talking construction equipment. It’s not the fact that the talking construction equipment is, to a machine, whiny and bitches constantly, I mean you pretty much expect that from unionized workers, right? It’s not even the strange unrequited sort-of-love between Wendy and an obviously closeted Bob. What perplexes me most is the Pumpkinhead-looking character fondly dubbed “Spud.” He’s always looked more like an Onion to me, but that’s another story.
This Spud creature is our Antagonist, always hosing up the works by trying to help the others. It’s amazing how often his “help” resembles vandalism and sabotage. Yet when the talking construction equipment figures out it’s Spud causing the problem do they grind him to mashed potatoes under their massive treads? Do they commit him to the nearest mental institution for the lithium and restraint he so desperately needs? No, they do not. They instead laugh uncomfortably, tell each other how he’s misunderstood and just needs to feel accepted, then roll away to contemplate their moral superiority. Sounds like a certain league of nations whose name begins with an “E” and ends with a “U.”
So this creepy stop-motion animation show is teaching my children the following:
- Whine about having to do a task or your job, this will get you attention and sympathy from your peers.
- If someone does something wrong, don’t take them to task, you might damage their self-esteem. Fix it then never talk about it again.
- Suppress your emotions and natural sexual proclivities and conform to the societal “norm.”
Okay, so maybe the kids won’t pick up on that last one. I think a little bit of Bob might be just what the Spud needs though. But that’s a different cartoon altogether.