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Campaign on Behalf of Prince Eric of Monaco

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The blog has refrained from commenting on Prince Albert II of Monaco and the son he finally had the grace to acknowledge as his. This was mainly because everyone knows the Grimaldis have always shagged pretty much anything that moves, and this story seemed designed to take attention away from the Prince’s rumoured homosexuality and taste for unconventional amours in advance of his coronation.

As a German paper commented, the Monagesque people had been “stinksauer” (well pissed off) about the homosexuality rumours, and were relieved dass ihr Fürst endlich seine Manneskraft unter Beweis gestellt hat (that their prince had finally proven his manliness). Well, quite. No use having a pooftah on the throne, is it?

In fact, some of the rumours swirling around the Prince’s head were too disgusting to bear repeating in a family blog. Not for nothing did the EU Commissioner for Goats, Markos Kyprianou, pay especial attention to Monaco when he kicked off his policy of testing 200,000 European goats.

But now that the Monagesque people have rewarded the Prince by acclaiming him as their ruler, the blog feels suddenly guilty and uncomfortable about the matter. Looking at Nicole Coste and her remarkably intelligent looking infant, Eric Alexandre, it is clear that a grave injustice has been perpetrated.

For one thing, there was the ludicrous statement saying that young Eric Alexandre will not be allowed to use his father’s surname. Normally speaking this would not matter in the slightest as the Grimaldis (the divine Princess Caroline apart) are a by-word across Europe for fast living and loose morals, and the surname is so tainted with their moral squalor that even fishwives in Monte Carlo unfortunate enough to bear the Grimaldi moniker usually prefer to change it to something more uplifting, like “Esens” or “Capone.”

But the charming and attractive-looking Eric Alexandre is clearly a special case, and this petty-minded ruling (which is in any case a dead letter as any child is fully allowed to use his father’s family name, should he want to), combined with the equally fatuous decision by Prince Rainier to disbar illegitimate children from the line of succession, has finally tipped the blog over the edge and into a determination to see that justice is done.

Shame on the Princes Rainier and Albert – themselves descendants, through the female line, of an earlier Grimaldi’s illegitimate coupling with a dancing girl! How dare such hypocrites deprive Prince Eric of the inheritance that is rightfully his!

The Curse of Von Esens is hereby invoked on Prince Albert for his meanminded actions, and we vow not to rest until the crown is placed firmly on Prince Eric of Monaco’s head, where it belongs, and the Coste family succeeds to the Grimaldis as rightful rulers in Monte Carlo.

Edited: LI

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About Hero von Esens

  • Is ‘The Curse of Von Esens’ worse than ‘the death by a Thousand Cuts’, or ‘the sound of a million spinning roulette wheels’?

  • Nancy

    LOL at the comment on the goats! As if the Grimaldis could actually consider themselves ‘dishonored’ by anything, at this point. *Snrk* … didn’t they also have a famous clown in the family?

  • beres

    I think this is so low class of albert. I mean as if the grimaldi name stood for morality and ethics? the shady thing about it is that there was no reason given. now i want to see if these other children who will probably be white get to have the grimaldi name.

  • The law won’t allow it unless he is legally wed to the child’s mother, whatever her hue. Pity. Any chance that Albert would marry Nicole Coste? That would show class, but that concept, apparently, is far beneath him.

  • Catherine

    You would think he would be man enough to at least give his child his last name. I bet his palace advisor’s had a hand in this.

  • I think that President Bush should invade Monaco and free the Monagesque people from the tyranny of the Grimaldis. Surely Albert has been somewhere to purchase something that the President or his staff would not approve of.

  • ROFL!

  • Claude de Bigny

    Many of us believe that letting Albert II wriggle out of Monaco would be too lenient, given the moral turpitude of his treatment of Prince Eric. I therefore fully support your stance and campaign, Hero. It may take time, but I feel sure that Prince Albert II (whose real name is, I beleive “Polignac”) will be hounded out of office in shame – hopefully the US will not be needed for the job, but it isn’t a bad idea – and, quite likely, be strung up from a lamppost somewhere as a warning to other monarchs.

  • Nancy

    You’d think by now the Monacans would be ready for a republic, anyway. A ruling family is only any good when they have a bunch of good-looking & interesting young people to marry off & thus pump up the economy. Otherwise, they’re just a drag on everything. However, ‘Prince’ Eric isn’t prince anything, unfortunately; even if dad recognized him, it would require an act of confirmation of the Monacan version of the houses of parlement to legally give him the title.; and his bastardy still precludes him from any consideration to inherit anything except Bert’s private possessions. If ol’ Bert can’t get married & get it up long enough to have a legal heir, the throne (assuming the Monacan haven’t come to theirs senses & disinvited the Grimaldis to occupy it in the meanwhile) goes to Caroline & after her to her kids w/that Italian she married.

  • Well, until Albert II decides to buy nuclear weapons on the black market I think I’ll worry about my own government. Monaco somehow doesn’t seem that significant.

  • Claude de Bigny

    Silas say “I think I’ll worry about my onw government. Monaco somehow doesn’t see that significant.” – Quite right, Silas, who cares about an injustice if it’s only in a small country far away from the US! Anyway, you Yankees have at least got an elected head of state with some moral backbone. We in Monaco have to live with the disgusting decadence of the Grimaldis. I can’t blame you Yanks for holding your noses and turning away!

  • Ah, but Monsieur de Bigny, are you being at all fair to the predecessor of Albert II? Rainier and his wife Princess Grace did so much to turn Monaco around. From all I’ve read over the years, Rainier’s reign brought Monaco into the Modern Age. If the majority of Monagesques choose to move from a principality then there should be a referendum to do so. But I don’t think it’s up to us Yanks to step in and assist in the overthrow of the Grimaldis. We Yanks are having a difficult enough time trying to stay afloat amidst our own corrupt political system. The “moral backbone” you speak of with regard to our head of state is made of s very soft material, sir. The ideal of morality is just another tool used in the Administration’s arsenal of misinformation.

  • Claude de Bigny

    Silas – “Comte” de Bigny, please, not “Mr”! (Only joking, call me Claude.)
    Yes, Rainier brought tax-dodgers and gangsters into Monaco on a scale never before seen since the first Grimaldi pirate was kicked out of Genoa to establish our little town. But the best bits of that glam, 1950s Monaco were due to the divine Grace Kelly,a US citizen. Everyone who cherishes her memory shoud see that it is again time to act within the noble tradition she introduced into our land – US intervention infuses any place with newfound strength and vogour! Just look at the Afghans, now a fully functioning democratic state. I plead for your noble President to do the same for us here in Monaco!

  • Nancy

    Take a page from “The Mouse That Roared” (the book) & declare war on the US. Claim that Albert has WMDs, has bought illicit cake uranium, & is interested in bioweapons. Get some petrogeologists to fake reports showing there’s beaucoup OIL underneath Monaco; then Smirk will come charging in w/Halliburton to ‘liberate’ all you Monagasques & bestow the blessings of democracy on you. Then you’ll be sorry.

    Are you really a comte? If I may ask, do you feel that’s a plus or minus in your life?

  • Claude de Bigny

    Yes, but now that you mention it, that would not guarantee that Prince Eric would become our ruler… instead, we would become a “democracy” and might get all sorts of strange people ruling us.. Yes, I am a Comte.. I think it’s pretty neutral, “Mr” is just as good, but in the case of Prince Eric, my gripe is not so much that he is being deprived of “his” title, it is that he and his rather lovely mother are being patronised and sidelined – by someone whose own family history also sprouts out of “illegitimacy”. I believe this is what motivated Hero to start this campaign, too..

  • Claude de Bigny

    In the Mouse that Roared – didn’t Pimlico win? If that happened this time round, Prince Eric would end up ruling not just Monaco, but the whole of the United States too! Are you sure you’re ready for that, Nancy?

  • Rudi of Burgundy

    It is time for the whole of the European aristocracy to stand together, not only against terrorism and socialism, but against the kind of social climbing which the Grimaldis so effectively symbolise.

    You can ount on my full support, Hero, and I know I speak for a large number of other aristocrats of our aquaintance when I say so.



  • Nancy

    LOL – I should have specified that what I had in mind was the actually rather brilliant (I thought) idea of declaring war on the US – & losing – & thereby getting all kinds of rehab money from the US. The whole point of the ‘failure’ (& the plot twist) was that they unintentionally won due to bad timing. I wouldn’t mind having a decent couple like Tully Bascombe & the Duchess, actually, but could we guarantee decency in future generations?

  • Claude de Bigny

    Nancy – No, you`re right to worry, Prince Eric’s great grandchildren might end up as decadent as Alby. I’d stick with W for the time being if I were you.

  • Nancy

    Claude, W is far worse than Albert. At least all Bertie does is screw flight attendants; W screws the US

  • usa

    For God sake. How many men actually marry if they get somebody pregnant.If Mrs. Coste was so ultra catholic she should have not engaged in pre-marital sex.Yes the Grimaldis are loose in morals, but most presidents and head of Prominent families pretend they are actually moral until the day they die, and a second family comes an joins the funeral party.
    The statement is if Prince Albert is a capable ruler to lead Monaco into the future and beyond.
    His personal life at 47,if the relationship with Mrs Coste did not work out, better…it was not ment to be.
    I agree with the late Prince Ranier, the rightful heir to Monaco has to come out of a legal marriage,born and raised in a harmonious marriage.
    Take your curse back two folds were it came from, and hurt no more.

  • harry

    It’s not that Albert should marry the mother of his son, it’s merely that he should recognise his son and allow him to benefit from his rights as a legitimate son and heir to the principality.

  • M

    But the point is that, recognized or not, the child is Not a legitimate heir. Therefore, he is not entitled to the rights traditionally given to one.

    Is any part of the sysytem fair? For instance, why isn’t Caroline the new ruler of Monaco? She’s the eldest child, but since she is female she can’t inherit. And why, in countries where either males or females can inherit, does the eldest child eventually rule? There are all kinds of antiquated ideas and regulations about monarchical systems, but there have to be. It’s the nature of the beast.

  • M

    Ms. Coste changed her name in 2004 . Anyone know why?

    Also, I’ve heard that she wanted to live close to the prince so that her son could be close to his father. But what about her other sons? Aren’t they very young and in need of their father as well? Does anyone know anything of her former husband, such as where he lives?

  • Ursula

    Leave Prince Albert alone! Please! Ok so he’s not perfect. So what! Is anyone in this world perfect? Not since the last time i checked! Nicole Coste is only out to make as much money as possible out of this, that’s why she went public. As i understand it Prince Albert was already providing financially for his son before the story broke. Anyway what kind of excuse is “i forgot to take my birth control pill.” she was out to trap Albert and she did. Personally i hope Albert marries Charlene Wittstock, cause she’s cool and fiom South Africa like me.

  • Why don’t you all leave prince albert alone, please. So he isn’t perfect. So what! The last time i checked no human being was. Nicole Coste was only ever out to make as much money out of this as possible, that”s why she went public with the story. As i understand it prince albert had already acknowleged in writing that eric coste was his son and was providing financially for him. i agree with the late prince rainier that only legitimate heirs should inherit the throne. Nicole coste was only out to trap prince albert and she did. I have absolutely no sympathy for her. Ursula.

  • Neen

    It’s so obvious that Eric is being discriminated against by his own father and grandfather because he is BLACK! Eric’s white half sister (Jazmin Grace Grimaldi) is allowed to use Albert’s last name. Why? Isn’t she illegitimate and also adulterous since her mother was married to another man when she conceived Jazmin? Wasn’t Prince Rainier himself descended from an illegitimate union between one of his recent paternal ancestors and a royal mistress? And so many of you white people think racism is a thing of the past…yeah right! Hypocrites…The Grimaldis themselves look as though they may be the products of a little miscegenation. Many of the Southern European royal families had early ancestors of African descent; Alessandro De Medici and even Queen Charlotte, Queen consort of English King George III, is said to have been descended from a Portugeese royal familiy that had African ancestors and that even the Queen’s physician commented that she looked like a perfect “mullato”.

  • de Saint-Louis

    FRENCH CIVIL CODE, Article 310 (Act no 2002-305 of 4 March 2002) :

    “All children whose parentage is lawfully established have the same rights and the same duties in their relations with their father and mother. They enter into the family of each of them”.

    FRENCH CIVIL CODE, Article 311-14 (Act no 72-3 of 3 Jan. 1972) :

    “Parentage is governed by the personal law of the mother on the day of the child’s birth; where the mother is unknown, by the child’s personal law”.

    Source or here.

    MONEGASQUE CIVIL CODE, Article 226-9 :

    “The legitimization can benefit to all children born out of wedlock provided that, by acknowledgement or by court judgement, their parentage has been lawfully established with regard to their two parents”.


    In the case of Alexandre Eric Stephane who was born in France and acknowledged by his parents under the French law, and whose parentage is lawfully established, as the eldest son of the Reigning Prince of Monaco, HE IS HEREDITARY PRINCE OF MONACO.

  • Hero von Esens

    Thanks for sorting that one out, de St Louis. Good to know that, God willing, there will be a Prince Eric on the Monagesque throne.