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Brown Shirt Bloggers.com

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The scene: A suburban house of domestic tranquility. The door opens and Jon, a 22-year-old college grad with $60,000 in student loan debt that his parents co-signed for, a literature degree, no job prospects, no dates and the beginnings of a beer belly, enters.

“Hi Mom, Hi Dad,” says Jon.

“Hello, Son,” says Dad, with a terse voice. “Did you have any luck finding a job today?”

“No,” says Jon, with some feigned despondency, as he moves toward his room. “But I was part of a blog swarm today,” he says with a chuckle. “We took Dan Rather to task!”

“Oh, Jon,” says Mom, “That’s nice. What’s a swarm?”

Jon knows all about swarms from his blog: BlogPsycho.com But his parents don’t know about his blog or SecretObsession.org to be part of the leading edge of swarmers for change: SwarmBlog.com (the domains are all unregistered and available).

When he swarms, Jon is part of a new vanguard, running through the streets of cyberspace, smashing windows and upsetting the old order. (BrownShirtBloggers.com is available) Jon feels special, not inadequate. (PowerfulBlog.com is available.)

Says Dad, a crusty retired newspaper editor, “Son, isn’t swarming something insects do?” (StungBlog.com is available)

Sensing a Socratic one-two-punch on its way, Jon quickly deflects.

“Oh, no,” says Jon. “Swarming is a MSM characterization intended to tarnish the blogging phenomenon. It’s a matter of independent voices rising in unison. I really misspoke when I called it a swarm.” (FlyAwayBlog.com is available)

Dad thinks for a moment. (BloggingBS.com is available) “Right, Son, it’s kind of like the angry calls we would get at the newspaper after publishing a story that upset some group. No different?”

“It is different,” said Jon. “You can’t hangup on arguments posted on Blogger – they don’t go away.” (IgnoreBlog.com is available)

“Oh, Son,” says Mom, “That’s nice.”

Dad returns to his PC and sees if MedicateBlog.com is available for registration. It is.

The End.

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About KOB

  • Eric Olsen

    KOB, hilarious, I love these – this one is particularly stinging

  • KOB

    Eric, Thanks for the nice feedback.

  • Nicely done KOB — it’s refreshing to see satire done crisply and well.

  • Eric Olsen

    plus, the angle about the domains actually being available is a whole other layer of coolness

  • Yeah, that’s right. How dare a bunch of fascists Nazis criticize Dan Rather just because he purposely perpetrated a transparently fraudulent attack on the president right before an election? It’s the job of decent, right thinking liberal reporters to tell us what to think, even if they have to fabricate the evidence to convince us.

    Who do these little Hitlers think they are to be criticizing great crusaders for Justice like Dan Rather? What gives them a right to speak their mistaken minds? They should just shut the hell up, and believe what they’re told by their betters.

  • Al – It’s a satire brotha, on the whole concept of blog swarms.

  • Eric Olsen

    while that is all undoubtedly true, I believe KOB was satirizing the group-think, mob-rule aspect of death-by-1000-pin-pricks, rather than the specifics of Rathergate itself.

  • KOB

    Thanks to all for the comments!

  • you da crazy man. Funny welcome stuff.

    Arguments, comments, posts — words — can be “disappeared” from the Web, much more than they can from the newspaper in your hand.

  • JR

    Words in the newspaper end up on your hands.

  • You must have sweaty hands 🙂 – or I must have very dry hands. That rarely happens with me unless I’m going through a stack of papers for my clippings.

  • Awesome post, KOB. Very funny stuff. Short and sweet, gets the point across.

  • uchenna

    one word, Entertaining with a big E